There was a dumpy old house not too far from us, that was recently knocked-down. Apparently the owners lived out of state, and the town had been trying to pressure them to do something with their abandoned eyesore for a long time. And nothing happened, predictably enough, until the fines started being levied.
That’s the way I understand it, anyway. An elderly parent lived there, and left the place to their uninterested kid(s) in Florida, or someplace. And the kid(s) let it go to fully-realized hell.
But last week they demolished the dump, in just a few hours. It was amazing. One day there was a house there, and the next, just a dark spot on the ground. How can they make a house — a house! — disappear like that?
And during the run-up to demolition, workers found something very interesting in the garage: an almost new thirty-year old Chevy Chevette. I heard, via my vast network of liars and backstabbers, that it had less than 5000 miles on it. And it was dusty, but otherwise in showroom condition.
I saw it parked outside the house, and wanted to stop and check it out. But, of course, I was running late for something or other… And the next time I went past, the car was gone.
I don’t know why, but I’d love to have something like that. Sports cars don’t do much for me, but an old, perfectly-preserved Chevette or Pinto would be great. Could it be restored to working order, without much trouble? Or would thirty years of inactivity ruin it? I’m sure the gaskets and whatnot dry-rotted before Reagan left office?
I’m coveting my neighbor’s Chevette, despite what the Bible might say about it. (Chevettes are mentioned in the Bible. right?) I love the idea of a new-looking 1970s throwaway car. I could ride around town, and yell out the window, “Hey good-looking, be back to pick you up later!”
Over the weekend Toney and I were walking around Sam’s, the exclusive club that accepted us as members, and went past a towering display of Sony (I think) DVD players, that cost $34 each.
I believe we paid something like $300 for ours, and the $34 models are undoubtedly a million times better.
In fact, I waited a long time to buy a DVD player, until the prices dropped. A lot of the executive-suite high-rollers in California paid more than $1000 for their first machines. It was a prestige thing, to have a DVD player at home, and those guys were into prestige.
I did buy a CD player very early in the game, though, and paid an enormous amount for it. I think it was around $500, and the thing was a complete piece of shit. It would skip and go haywire if someone farted in a kitchen three houses down the block.
A couple years later I replaced my $500 player with a far superior $79 model.
Have you ever radically overpaid for electronics — or anything for that matter — because you were an early adopter? Tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?
Our first computer was around $2500, purchased in 1995 or 1996, and had a 1.2 gigabyte hard drive. I’m fairly certain our current coffeemaker can store more data… And my brother bought one of the very first VCRs ever produced in America, I think. It cost an outrageous sum, weighed something like 200 pounds, and required a water line be attached to the back of it. My memory is a little foggy on that last part, though…
What about you? Do you have anything to share on this subject? If so, please do.
And I need to go to work now. It’s gonna be a weird one, and I wish I could tell you about it. I can’t though, on account of the spies… so many spies.
See ya tomorrow.
Gotcha. That was the main question I had though. I still buy DVD’s if what I want isn’t available.
Laser Disc. Wow.
My car still has a tape player, been listening to a mix tape I probably made in ’98 or so by the songs on there (Hamell on Trial, Frank Black, Firewater, Soul Coughing, to name a few).
Bought a Sanyo PC in college in 1985 – paid about $4300. Had to code in DOS and Basic to get any thing done.
I dated a girl as a teenager whose family had a Red 2-door chevette. The car was a tin can with wheels. The one thing I remember was late one night she was going to drive me home and there was a guy laying under the car. Cops came it turned out to be the town drunk (named ‘Brownie’). I recall the cops asking if he was fixing the muffler… They drove him home a few blocks away.
Well for crapping out loud…isn’t anyone going to say hello to Tinamarie in Grand Forks NORTH DAKOTA…? Hello, Tinamarie. How are the Forks? Good to hear from you.
I think that leaves us only two or three Dakotas to go.
jtb
@ Icey: “Like when Michael Douglas goes ghetto-footloose-gaspump style on that Korean dude for selling batteries at 2 bucks a pack or the god awful 75 cent cola.”
U gay, bro?
Way off today’s topics, but here is a candidate for the list of sports figures with dirty, dirty names:
http://www.tulanegreenwave.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/bender_dick00.html
Left Dakota?
My high school boyfriend had a ‘vette. It was blue and a total POS. Every time he’d go over the railroad tracks it would feel like the ass end was going to fall outta that thing!
I’m not an early adopter generally but have been lucky to have both a Dad and Husband that are! I had a Commodore Vic 20 computer back in the early 80’s. That was a Christmas gift from my folks when I was in grade school. They upgraded to a Com 64 a couple years later then went balls to the wall with an Amiga!!
My husband is dying for one of those 3D TVs but I’ve put the kibosh on it so far. We’ll see how long that lasts…
Storm,
Baja Dakota and THE Dakota where some dick with no man murdered John Lennon.
jtb
Mom got the first microwave on the block around 1972. No window in it, just a solid door so you couldn’t see the food cooking. Friends came over when my parents were away and tried it out with all the hot dogs in the house. Didn’t know how long to cook them so a giant mess was created (I think they exploded or something).
Bought a 100 CD carousel player in 1987 for around $500. Was going to put all my CD’s in it and catalog them (you could pick the songs by CD for the “repeat” play option and bypass the rest of the songs you didn’t want to hear…plus you could catagorize them by artist). Got about 10 in there and quit.
My boss bought a large flat screen plasma TV when they first came out. He told me he paid 16K for it!
Shane, it sounded like icy was referring to Michael Douglas in the movie Falling Down.
Bought a refurbed “fat” PS3 in August of ’09, after a Sony exec said “we have no plans to update the Playstation 3.” All the websites claimed he was lying out of his ass, but I refused to listen.
One month later, the PS3 slim appears at a price cheaper than I paid for the refurbed fat. Usually I’m more careful with my purchases but they waylaid me on this one.
Bought my first DVD player at C-city , a polaroid for $17-they asked if I wanted to buy a warranty and I said no , just give me another one. If the first one breaks I’ll just throw it away.Still working 3-4 years later.
Sure is good to know when you bought your first digital versital disc player.
Personally, I’m just relieved now that we know that Jeff’s secret woman with connections is Valentina Tereshkova. I understand she’s out of this world.
And at least I’ve heard of her and am familiar with her work.
jtb
I wonder if it’s going to be a weird one because Jeff had to fire an employee?
I always wait for prices to come down before I buy electronics. Except for the Wii. Got one of those right away.
I used to be a frequent passenger in a late 70s Chevette. Black, auto trans and a back window we made out of plastic sheeting. We went all over the place in that thing!
My first car was a late 70s Mercury Cougar. That thing was a boat and ugly as sin (blue with brown interior). I think the 351 V8 (strangled by emissions controls) got about 5mpg. I hated it, but drove it for a few years. Purchasing price (used) was $200.
We had a top-loading Quasar VHS, complete with a “remote control” that was on a wire that plugged into the unit. Heavy as hell, but built well. I think my Mom paid about $500 for it.
Good Morning Surf Reporters….
Back in the early 80’s my parents bought a Sony laser disk movie player, the precursor to the modern day DVD. The disk was the size of a 33 LP album, encased in a plastic housing.
The variety of movies was very limited. I think I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoos nest several hundred times.
As far as the old timey Chevette goes, if it sat that long, more than likely the gasoline turned to varnish and messed up everything internally pretty good. That happened to an old Mustang at a dealership I used to work for.
I am a late late late adopter of electronics.
When I met my then-boyfriend in 2002, I didn’t own a computer nor a dvd player. He ended up buying me both. Then he bought me a laptop in 2004.
I finally just bought an iPod last year.
My tv is a 27″ Toshiba that I bought in 1993. I’d love to have a new tv, but I’ll just wait until this one completely dies (it’s currently on its deathbed, so it shouldn’t be much longer). It’s big and heavy and awkward to move, but it’s still mostly doing its job.
I’m the same way with cars. I bought my Accord brand new in 2001, and I will continue to drive it until it is no longer drivable.
Jeff, you still haven’t told us the identity of your NY friend.
Johnthebasket…. thanks for the holler!!!
My first car was the high falutin version of the Chevette…a 1980 Chevy Citation that my dad bought for me from my Great Aunt. My brother had a Chevette that Dad had bought for him, so he was super pissed that I got the “bigger and better” Citation. That car was named “The Pig” and served me well in my teenage years.
We finally bought a laptop 2 years ago, upgrading from our 1999 desktop. Yes, 1999. The only flatscreen TV we own is a 19″ freebie from Verizon when we signed up for their cable. Our main TV is a 37″ inch JVC tube tv which we bought about a year before the flatscreens hit the market. We also have a 25 year old 19″ tv in our bedroom that still works great. My dad bought me that one for Christmas in 1985. Yeah, Dad!
I’m always a late adopter cause I’m the cheapest summa bitch i know…I know it’s time to man up and buy a new gadget when my Dad mentions it two or three years after it’s been out. It goes something like this…
Dad- “hey, you seen these new flat panel TV’s?”
Me- “Yes, they’ve been out for a while now”
And then I know it’s ok for me to go get one. hahaa.
Chevettes, Citations, Cavaliers, Vegas. And people wonder where GM went wrong. Building those POS’s could have something to do with it.
Not to say that other makers are blameless. Can you say Sebring or PT Cruiser? I knew you could.
JCIII – I could watch “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” several hundred times. Cheswick and Martini crack the F up in that movie.
“A 10 to Billy to match his wang” – LMAO!!
Your further evidence link of the day:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/36853382/ns/today-entertainment/
Oh, say it ain’t so, Andy!
From the Sept 2003 Archives – this one cracks me up every time, possibly because I know all parties involved. Enjoy………………………………
I remember being twelve or so, and over at a friend’s house playing Stratego or something. This guy’s dad was drinking beer with salt in it (what in the honeybaked hell??) and farting like a man entered in some sort of contest. His wife was sitting right there, during the whole performance. Periodically he’d tip over on the couch and let loose a majestic, prolonged trouser blast that would fill the room with the aroma of fresh-cut turds. It was like being inside a human ass. Eventually we gathered up the board, and retreated to a bedroom, closing the door behind us. Five minutes or so later the doorknob turned, the door opened a few inches, an ass encased in denim poked into the room, and it fired off a twenty-one second salute. Then the door slammed shut, and we were launched into hysterics, trying to both breathe and not breathe at the same time. I believe we eventually employed the bedspread as a makeshift filter.
Fart stories are the best! I never had a small lil’ POS car growing up, only big ones!! My first car was a 1976 baby blue 4 door Ford Granada, it was like driving a tank with an AM only radio. This was in 1992. Then I traded up to a Chrysler leBaron 4 door with the big ass bench seats that hold 12. It had am only also, but it had a really great 8 track player, too bad it didn’t go in reverse, or I’d still be driving it.
Speaking of farts–Did anyone download the Sneaky Fart application on their smart phones yet?!
If not, do it now.
Brit,
sneaky fart very enjoyable. I plan on using it while making derby bets this weekend. I think angry fart is my favorite.
I just got my first Ipod for Christmas, and only because my husband bought it for me. I have only downloaded 8 songs and I have yet to actually listen to them. Sad.
Haha, angry fart…I love the resonant fart.
A few years ago I bought a 1965 Chrysler Newport coupe. My uncle bought it new and it had been sitting in his garage literally untouched since around 1970. Paid $2,000 for it. Car looked showroom new (34,000 miles)
It needed all new gaskets, tires, wiper blades, brake pads, brake master cylinder, hoses, belts, battery, complete exhaust, dropped the gas tank and had it dipped (had an inch of rust inside it), rebuilt the carb, other shit I likely forgot about. Probably put $2,500 in it to get it road ready.
Drove it about 3 times, battery died, bitch would not start without half a can of starting fluid. Sold it for $3,500 because I need more garages.
We have 5 cars and 3 sit outside, the oldest is a 2005 Cadillac. Yep, I am a car nut.