“Yeah, and my boss jumped all over me, because he said I never participate in departmental functions. I’m always having to tend to urgent matters, he said, that seem to pop up at pretty convenient times. I laughed, because I knew I was busted. But he didn’t think it was very funny, and…”
“…a potluck lunch for some idiot named Ronald, who is leaving the company. And good riddance to that useless bag of…”
“…no way I could duck it, really. And the thought of eating home-cooked garbage from our gang of nasty-ass…”
“…don’t even know how a person’s gums could turn coal black…”
“…reluctantly grabbed a plate and…”
“…filthy green Crockpot…”
“…pepperoni rolls…”
“…meatballs…”
“…foamy…”
“…pungent…”
“…a musky aftertaste…”
“…tried to smile and keep going…”
“…cramps hit everyone at the same time…”
“…moaning and groaning, and holding our stomachs in agony…”
“…Bernice from accounts payable was the first to let go: a high arc of tan vomit across a cubicle wall…”
“…something way off in the distance that sounded like a person trying to get the last bit of mustard from a squeeze bottle…”
“…everyone running for the bathrooms and exits, slipping in pools of upchuck and wallowing around on the floor…”
“…only good thing that came from it: my boss mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’ to me, above the sound of all the retching, and then shit his pants like a cannon. Oh, and Ronald is in intensive care…”
“Well anyway, it looks like the ride is over… I hope you girls sell a lot of cookies this year. It was nice meeting you, and I’m looking forward to my box of Thin Mints. They’re my favorites! …I’m over here, Cody!”
