Have you ever stood in line for something so long, it was actually camping? You know, like spending the night somewhere for concert tickets? Or a new piece of gadgetry? Or a video game?
I’ve been to hundreds of concerts, and have never camped-out once.
I seem to remember paying someone who was planning to spend the night in front of the Charleston Civic Center, to buy me a pair of tickets along with his. But I don’t even remember the band involved at this point. Maybe the Police? I’m not sure.
But what about you? Have you ever done such a thing?
Sometimes I go to Best Buy, and there’s a freaking tent city erected on the sidewalk out front. And while I’m walking into the store, I look over and see the free-range nerds sitting there in Coleman camping chairs (Transformers edition), waiting for the release of the new G3 GamePants 3000, or whatever. And I shake my head in sadness.
I love gadgets, but I’m not a foaming fanatic about them. I can’t imagine myself ever taking up residence in Douche Village, just so I could brag that I was the very earliest of adopters. I mean, seriously. Some people are defined by that kind of crapola…
But what about concerts? Yeah, that might be my weak spot. I was trying to think of some shows I could theoretically see myself sleeping on a sidewalk for, and it’s a short list.
A one-off Replacements reunion would probably get me out there. And before Joe Strummer died, I would’ve camped for the Clash. I never saw the Clash, and that’s one of my biggest musical regrets.
What about you? Have you ever spent the night on a sidewalk outside a store or box office, for the privilege of buying something very early? Tell us about it, won’t you? Did anything interesting happen?
Also, what might get you out there today? Anything? It would have to be something pretty freaking extraordinary for me to do it…
And I overslept today (it had nothing to do with the Clash), and I got a late start on this one. Sorry it’s so… abbreviated. I’m going into the yurt tomorrow, and might not be able to update again until the weekend. But we’ll see how it goes.
Thanks for reading! See ya next time.
Waking to these sounds again I wonder how I’ll sleep
Passing out is taking off into the stubborn deep
I’d like to meet a human, who makes it all seem clear
To work out all these cycles and why I’m standing here
I’m falling
Over and over and over and over again now
Calling over and over and over and over again now
Running through my life right now I don’t regret a thing
Things I do just make me laugh and make me wanna drink
I’d like to meet a mad man, who makes it all seem sane
To work out all these troubles and what there is to gain
I’m falling
Over and over and over and over again now
Calling over and over and over and over again now
Projecting what I want, is always hard to know
But when it comes between my sights I’ll let the damage show
I’d like to meet a spaceman, who’s got it going on
Sailing through the stars at night until our world is gone
I’m falling
Over and over and over and over again now
Calling over and over and over and over again now
Over and over and over and over again now
Calling over and over and over and over again.
-Morcheeba, Over and Over
Good Morning Surf Reporters
…not sure why I’m whispering while I type..other than the fact it’s 4 in the morning
Good Night Surf Reporters…
I had interns who would do this… camp out in front of BB to be the first to get a PS3 or some such. Why? Because they turned around and sold them on Craigslist to stupid yuppies who just HAAAAD to have it for a ridiculously high profit, that’s why.
The longest I’ve waited in line for anything was when I waited for fifteen minutes for some twizzledick to count out pennies to pay for his beer. While I completely understand the whole concept of using whatever means necessary to buy beer, the dumbass kept losing count and the clerk wasn’t paying attention, so it took F.O.R.E.V.E.R…
I think I waited 30 minutes for a table at a restaurant before too, but that’s not really waiting in line, is it?
No lemmings here….
Knucklehead –
I was at that Iggy & the Stooges show at the Warfield back in ’07, too. I didn’t know it was his 60th b-day until the next day when I read it in the paper.
Hey chill, I’ve got tickets to PiL this Saturday in Atlantic City. I’m looking forward to it. Mr. Lydon is one of the few rockers I still make a habit of seeing live, whether it be with the Pistols or PiL.
Knucklehead — I’ve got that Winterland ’78 concert on VHS, and it’s quite amazing. I envy you seeing it live.
“Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?”
Happy Yurt day to you
Happy Yurt day to you
Happy Yurt day JK
Happy Yurt Day to you
Where is the buy now link for the book?
I’m going to game 7 tonight. The Pens are killing me…shoulda finished them in 6. fingers crossed.
Also waited in line at my office desk for Rodger Waters tix for the new arena in Pitt. in Sept. Mission accomplished.
@Son of Sam,
Vive les Canadiens de Montreal.
SOS: Yep! Pens are killin me too!! I spewed obsenities I didn’t even realize I knew Monday night.
Would love to be there!!
Can I rag on any of yinz about the Pirates? Or has 19 seasons of futility left you no longer caring? I’ve only been suffering through 9 seasons so I don’t blame you.
I’m not a huge basketball fan but I’ve been watching the CAV’s and I know how you Pen fans feel.
Man it’s going to be a long week without an update, but by all means Jeff get the book finished, make a million dollars and go full time at the surf report.
Speaking of the Cavs…what the hell is wrong with LeBron? And how many steps does Shaq get to take before they call him for traveling?
I don’t know Chuck but it’s deja vu all over again. This is when the great players are supposed to be at their best not mediocre.
I camped out for Van Halen tickets back in the 80s. There were some scary looking bikers next to us and we were all like 18 at the time but they shared their keg with us and some good smoke to so it was a good time. Never camped out to buy a gadget or a $50 dvd player or any crap like that though.
No…what the hell are the Cubs doing? I’m ashamed to call them a Chicago team right now.
I just saw Jeff’s nightmare. At the taco stand I was at (Big Truck Tacos in OKC) the mexicans in the back were hacking away at an entire pig. Awesome.
For the record I had this:
The Prarie Dog
All beef hot dog stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon, bison picadillo, queso fresco, and green onion!
Go Reds!
t-storm-You bastard. I’m stuck at work for another hour and you fucking bring up bacon. Beef, bacon, bison, cheese on the inside and outside, sounds like my kinda lunch!
Brittney-I will never, ever feel sorry for a cubs fan. I hate to be so blunt but I suppose it has something to do with going to GABP and having more cub fans there than Reds fans. It just grinds on me. With that being said I’ve been trying to get a trip to Wrigley set up but so far I’ve just been too lazy and cheap.
WB,
I’m still plugging away on this thing. I couldn’t help myself. You might be able to see a picture of it here:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?photo.php&pid=31277186&id=1332131335&mid=2551df0G4f66b607G1d40bc0G9&n_m=j.a.boersma%40gmail.com
Knucklehead, on May 11th, 2010 at 9:59 pm Said:—-Hot fuzz – 4 hours for the Star Trek movie? You’re still a virgin, huh?
Yes although this was in 1979, I am still a virgin. And in fact, I have the WVSR to thank for showing me what one of THESE things
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labium_%28genitalia%29
looks like. It scares the crap out of me more than clown midgets.
t-storm, Couldn’t get there from here. Oh well, I’m sure it looks as good as it sounds. I’m off to my watering hole for cheap PBR’s and $1 hot dogs. Ain’t nothing like what you got.
THREE MORE WAYS OF LOOKING AT A BLACKBIRD*
For Rick Gretch and bassists everywhere, and Shiny (if that’s his real name)
.
XIV
The yang for my yin would summon the Godfreys
To sing with the black birds and soar high above
But my yin’s Petered out and will not fill the circle
Surprisingly though, I’m a sucker for love
.
XV
Too large a dose of impermanence
Will result in John Cage never reaching
The other shore of the river
Where the black birds sing in the branches.
The Buddha knows that even a piano tuner
Cannot drown in the same river twice.
.
XVI
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills
And a black bird will splat my forehead
With a message from god.
.
* a tip of the Hatlo hat to Wallace Stevens, Poet Emeritus, Earth
The last threesome I was in ended in disaster. We all bogied the 18th. I was on in two and had a good look at the hole, but hit the lip twice. I’m starting to think my shaft has too much flex.
jtb
I’m thinking of boycotting arizona, well, just until guadalajara gets all its waiters back.
Mmmmmm…..pbr.
Stupid and random question that has nothing to do whatsoever with anything we are talking about, but does anyone play on Xbox live? I’m an avid Halo 3 player. Let me know, cos that would be sweet.
T. Farty McAppleass…you may have cleared up some childhood memories of mine, of talk around the Christmas Trough about Great-Uncle (twice removed and then finally replaced) Uncle Buddy “Baa-Baa”.
Swami,
If your Atlantic City is anything like my Baltimore, you won’t be disappointed. The show ran about 2 hours or a little more. They did a really superb extended jam of ‘Flowers’, with rubbery acoustic bass and a bowed electric guitar. Way cool.
Bonus: I saw John Waters at the bar before the show. Mid-concert, JL gave him a shout-out: “Good evening Baltimore, famous for only two things. (pointing) I see you, John Waters!” I didn’t catch what the second thing was, but it hardly matters.
I think I might have been misunderstood. I didn’t mean to imply that watching someone else shit, and enjoying it, is wrong. I simply wanted to point out that jacking off while watching someone shit on a glass table will send you to hell. Just wanted to clear that up.
One man’s heaven is another’s hell.
@ Son of Sam,
So, I’m guessing your night didn’t go as planned….
Seriously, the Pens played a good series. They just had the misfortune of running into a team with a hot goalie, a bench full of grinders, and nothing to lose.
Woo-hoo Flyers!
I physically cant stand in a line (or ‘queue’, as we say here,) for more than 10 minutes. It fills me with rage.
No matter how bad I want the item in question, its just not worth that ordeal.
I discovered pretty early in life that my superhero power is that if I stand at the end of a line it will slow down and then stop moving. I’m kind of like ‘Magneto’, but only on store conveyor belts. eg the cashier will need a price from the darkest depths of the store, the customer will have forgotten a wallet, the list of possibilities is endless.
I am the ‘QUEUESTOPPER!’ Whichever line I chose will be the one with the problem. Guaranteed.
(It also works in cars to a lesser extent.)
My powers seem to increase around Christmas too, usually when I’ve got a cold and the heating in the store is turned way up to 98 or so, and that bead of sweat is hanging from the end of my nose!
Thank you internet shopping, for keeping me off the streets!
@JTB- that was a little close to the bone!
I have never camped out for tickets. That said, I worked at Sound Warehouse for a few years, and when our company finally bent over to TicketMaster and allowed us to sell tickets, I saw some campouts. Most interesting was when the Grateful Dead were coming. As you can imagine, the VW pop-up campers started arriving days before the tickets went on sale. We employees were treated to an abundance of hirsute partial nudity, the wafting aroma of herb-spangled not-dogs on an open fire, and the inspiring visual of steam rising gently from a fierce stream of a hardcore hippie’s morning urine directly onto our dumpster.
On the morning OF the big sale, I bravely drove my rattletrap Ford Escort into the back parking lot of the store, not yet daring to don my black vest with the store name embroidered on the back in vivid yellow. I sidled through the crowd milling mellowly at the back doors, excusing myself, basically CUTTING IN LINE in their eyes… but still not yet wanting to reveal my identity as The Dealer. I had no desire to be accosted for a good lottery number or whatever.
Ignoring surly looks and murmured comments, I made it to the door and produced my keys… and never before or since have I so quickly and flawlessly unlocked a door, opened and closed it (with a pneumatic hinge working against me and all) and locked it back.
Fortunately, Deadheads as a general rule are pretty calm, and there was no uprising. In fact, overall they were much more civilized than the pretentious Elton John ticket-wanters who turned up a few weeks later…
Free The Angry White Guy !!! He led us thru the last yurt session !
What about this shit!? Sue these shitcocks! Who do these assrabbits think they are?
http://surfreport.msn.com/?gt1=32045
@ Jason
Not everyone can see that if they aren’t an MSN member…
what a bunch of dick giblets.
I’m in the same boat as Brittney, what does it say, anyone?
Oh. Sorry. They’ve named an entire part of their web site “The Surf Report”. Rip off!
Where’s my fucking box scores? I’m about to bang my wife, while wearing a condom, for the first time in about 12 years (just in case you were wondering).
But this thing says, “for her pleasure”. Fuck her. I’m turning it inside out. For MY pleasure. WOO HOO!
Awwww..come on Jason! Go for it! One more to even out the count!
Well well still hungover from game 7. What a shitty feeling. To the Habs fan sitting beside me. I glad you realized I was serious about throwing you from the balcony. I would have hated to go to jail for it but I would have done it none the less. Fucking French asshole.
Yeah, but it’s only natural for jealous ingits to make a mockery of a website, just because they didn’t think of something like that first.
I didn’t get to see it, so I assume that’s what the website was? Just making fun of the WVSR? Most likely whoever it is, is obviously a secret fan of the site, and probably masturbates to the logo religiously, so Jeff should consider it a compliment.
If I’m on a totally different page, I apologize in advance. I just made my own conclusions by what Jason said.
Since there’s no update to read, I’ll respond to a few random postings.
Brittney, try http://surfreport.msn.com/
I’m glad the Cavs are out, so I can stop yelling at the refs to call Shaq for walking. I mean, really…
JTB–I just finished my 3rd time through the Kathy Valentine CD. Thanks for the referral–great stuff! Now, here’s one for you–if you haven’t, I suggest that you listen to the Toy Matinee CD.
Jason–wearing a condom while fucking your wife? One word: vasectomy.
It’s 9am, and I think I’ll go get a hot dog.
I think Jason’s just trying to pull everyone’s leg or stir shit up, because the other site is nothing like this site. It’s more of a mini-clip show recap of Internet ridiculousness, hevay on the celebrity name dropping. Sort of like Web Soup meets Entertainment Tonight. Additionally there appears to be no attempt at wit, clever banter, or sarcastic snark. Just bland canned humor of the sort that would fly on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”.
So my verdict: not an attempt to rip-off or even parody this site. Incidentally, Jeff probably doesn’t have a trademark on the phrase “surf report”. Perhaps after he gets all rich and famous and hobnobs with The Duff on Clooney’s yacht he can fork over the money and claim it as his very own. Like Trump. Just don’t do that to your hair, Jeff. 😉
I was drunk when I found that site / posted it here. I don’t even remember my point. So I’ll take my free pass now, thank you.
Condom sex sucks. I’m going to feed the rest of my condoms to the dog. That way when he shits it’ll already be in a bag.
We’re having some friends over for taco and beer night.
That’s ok, I got drunk one night and expressed my love to everyone on here at like 4 in the morning, I hope I received a free pass for that one too.