Have you ever stood in line for something so long, it was actually camping? You know, like spending the night somewhere for concert tickets? Or a new piece of gadgetry? Or a video game?
I’ve been to hundreds of concerts, and have never camped-out once.
I seem to remember paying someone who was planning to spend the night in front of the Charleston Civic Center, to buy me a pair of tickets along with his. But I don’t even remember the band involved at this point. Maybe the Police? I’m not sure.
But what about you? Have you ever done such a thing?
Sometimes I go to Best Buy, and there’s a freaking tent city erected on the sidewalk out front. And while I’m walking into the store, I look over and see the free-range nerds sitting there in Coleman camping chairs (Transformers edition), waiting for the release of the new G3 GamePants 3000, or whatever. And I shake my head in sadness.
I love gadgets, but I’m not a foaming fanatic about them. I can’t imagine myself ever taking up residence in Douche Village, just so I could brag that I was the very earliest of adopters. I mean, seriously. Some people are defined by that kind of crapola…
But what about concerts? Yeah, that might be my weak spot. I was trying to think of some shows I could theoretically see myself sleeping on a sidewalk for, and it’s a short list.
A one-off Replacements reunion would probably get me out there. And before Joe Strummer died, I would’ve camped for the Clash. I never saw the Clash, and that’s one of my biggest musical regrets.
What about you? Have you ever spent the night on a sidewalk outside a store or box office, for the privilege of buying something very early? Tell us about it, won’t you? Did anything interesting happen?
Also, what might get you out there today? Anything? It would have to be something pretty freaking extraordinary for me to do it…
And I overslept today (it had nothing to do with the Clash), and I got a late start on this one. Sorry it’s so… abbreviated. I’m going into the yurt tomorrow, and might not be able to update again until the weekend. But we’ll see how it goes.
Thanks for reading! See ya next time.
Jason,
To follow up on CADude’s advice I have a second word: Anal.
third and fourth words Blow Job
Jason,
Third word. http://www.epigee.org/guide/rhythm.html
My friends use this method and only have 12 kids so much sure your wife is better at math than my friends.
Or just go with second most popular Catholic birth control…Pull and Pray.
Going to my neighbors tonight to watch Albert Pujols take all the steam out of my red hot Red’s.
Fuck…fifth word
and fuck again that’s supposed to be “make sure” not much sure.
Jason,
And the final word is Swallow.
wb keep the faith, in 6 hrs the reds could be in 1st place.
I get the feeling (or is it hope?) that the reporters will be drunk and running the show tonight…just marking my spot.
Brittney, does your request for a free pass mean that you don’t really love us?
WB — your timely mention of Pujols shortly after Tyrosine’s second word to Jason caused me to giggle a little. Thank you for the unintentional comedy.
Brynhildr: that interpretation of Albert’s name had never crossed my mind. Now I’m fairly certain that whenever I hear the name I’ll never fail to make that association. Thanks for that (I think).
Does Pujols’ name suddenly warrant inclusion in JK’s “Sports Figures With Filthy Names” list?
So sorry, CADude. Sometimes, I have a hard time silencing the random Beavis & Butthead voices I hear.
Hey Jeff,
Rusty Kuntz was named 1st base coach of the Kansas City Royals today. It’s about time Rusty Kuntz was back in baseball.
Joe T, that’s what we call my grandma, weird.
And Bryn,
I don’t know how anyone can possibly not love the name pujols. Especially when he resigned and there was the pujols power pack.
And Pujols makes the catch!
Pujols in a caught in a bang bang double play!
I’m half drunk so I feel qualified to post. Guess what I came home to today? Good guess. No, it was a goddamn pig. In my house! A tiny fucking pig! So that was nice. I don’t allow dogs or cats in the house. So a pig was a nice surprise. I’m a clean freak. I think I’ll slit my wrist.
Listen, I might need some help on the whole anal thing. It’s the same old story – “it hurts!” or “i poop from there!” but I’m thinking that I can prolly come back with, “you moved a mother fucking tiny pig into our house!” Right? Bend over, toots. That’s what I’m thinking.
Also, I’d like to say, “Fuck off, William Shatner. Seriously, fuck off.”
but how could anyone notlovewilliamshatner?
Drunks and farm animals. Now we’re talkin’!!!
This ought to get real classy real quick.
Er, big bear. ClassiER.
And shouldn’t your name be Giant Eagle in OH?
Jason,
One word: Roofies.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FLYERS!!!!!!!
I don’t know how to top the last ten or so comments, so I won’t try.
CADude – Glad you are enjoying Light Years. I’ll check out Toy Matinee at my first opportunity. I know a little about it/them, but have not heard it. Of course I won’t sqeeze the music out of it by subjecting it to MP3 compression, but the CD is still in print so it shouldn’t be too expensive.
Erica – Fun story nicely told. And, hey, even Deadheads have to urinate somewhere. I’m just trying to picture how they achieved the height necessary to land in the dumpster. Specially the ladies.
Lee Harvey – Buddy Hackett died? Then what the hell am I doing in this damn line?
jtb
@ Kevindust…No, I do, I just hope my drunken expression of love didn’t scare anyone.
@ Jason & Hot Fuzz – I LOVE WILLIAM SHITNER. I love everything about him. I want to have a beer with him. Him and Pauly Shore, but the Pauly Shore from Son-In-Law, not the current douchebag Pauly Shore.
Just enjoying a little music of a Saturday night.
Publisher and writer Ed Sanders on lead vocals. The great Tuli Kupferberg, now 86 but then younger doing a little topless dancing. Former CIA agent Ken Weaver on drums.
It’s not exactly in HD, but it’s from 1968. I’m from way before that, and I can tell you definitively, I’m not in HD either.
Song is from the album “It Crawled into My Hand, Honest”, surely the greatest album never made into a CD.
Ladies and gentlemen, performing Crystal Liaison, the Fugs…
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3gc2_fugs-crystal-liaison-68_music
Must I explain…….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b99SuTXv3ig&feature=related
t-storm-it took longer than 6 hours but it was worth the wait.
Brynhildr-Like CADude, I never quite made the connection, it seems I’ve always heard it pronounced more like “pool-holes”, but that might be just the broadcasters I listen to. It will always be “poo-holes” from this day forward. I also noticed my unintentional funny contained the word “steam” which I found funny this morning as I was catchinp up on the comments.