I took a week’s worth of vacation a month or so ago, to start work on the new book, and it didn’t go well. I got some stuff written, but knew in my gut that it wasn’t very good. I was distracted by a million other things, and could never get into the zone.
But on Friday I played around with the first chapter, at home and at Panera, and bashed it into shape. Everything was slightly out of kilter during that week, but the material appears to be fixable — which is a relief. The thought of an entire week going down the ol’ poop catcher was making me sick.
A lot of the things that were weighing heavily on my mind are now in the process of being resolved, and I want to get fully obsessed with the new book project. The necessary obsession has been elusive so far, and it was concerning me. I just couldn’t get excited, I was forcing it. I don’t believe in writer’s block (total myth), but I believe in being distracted to the point of doing shitty work. In that, I believe.
I’ve also decided to let go of Crossroads Road. I try not to talk about it too much, but I’m constantly promoting that thing behind the scenes — or thinking about the promotion of it. On Friday, when I had my first good day with the new book, I made the decision to not actively promote the first one anymore. And I ain’t kidding, it felt like a thousand pound weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I’m happy with Crossroads Road. I know it’s not anywhere near perfect, but I think it’s entertaining and that was the goal. It sold reasonably well, but never really blew up, as we used to say in the record weasel world. It’s not over, though. I plan to write a follow-up to it — there’s unfinished business on the cul-de-sac — and the two books together will form a more perfect union, or something.
I haven’t been drinking beer for some reason. I quit for a couple of months, started back, realized I wasn’t really enjoying it, and stopped again. It wasn’t planned, I just had no interest. Still don’t.
But it’s weird… there’s a small two-hour window — on Saturdays between 5 and 7, roughly — when Toney and I would traditionally split a 6-pack of some obscure microbrew. We’d go to Wegmans, pick something we’d never had before, and try it out before dinner every Saturday. I do sorta miss that. It was fun, and I think we’re going to reinstate it this coming weekend.
But cracking open a Yuengling as soon a I get home from work… and drinking six or eight of them on Fridays and Saturdays… It’s something I’m not currently interested in returning to. It keeps me tired and bloated, and non-productive. Three craft beers per week shouldn’t do too much harm. Right?
Bourbon season: I can’t see me participating this year; I just don’t think it’s going to happen. Weird, huh?
And speaking of bloated, I went to the gym near our house a few days ago, and asked for a price sheet. I’m seriously considering joining. I was a member there, about ten years ago, and quit after two or three months. But something is going on with me that’s never happened before. I think it might be the time.
The woman at the gym started in with her sales pitch, but I shut her down. I didn’t want to hear it, especially from a girl with a BB stuck to the side of her nose. She wanted to take me on a tour, and was getting ready (I’m convinced) to make me a “one-time” offer. You know, where there’s a big discount if you sign up on your first visit only? I didn’t even allow her an opportunity to get halfway through her first scripted sentence. Ol’ BB nose saw nothing but my wide back walking out the door.
If you belong to a gym, how much do you pay? This one costs $32.95 per month, which seems pretty high to me. And there’s not even a discount if you pay by the year, or six-months, or whatever. Is that too much? It’s been ten years for me, so it’s possible that I’m out of touch. The cool thing, though, is that it’s month-to-month and you can quit at any time. No long contracts, or boolshit like that. That’s a nice, new development.
In the comments section, please tell me what you pay for a gym membership — if applicable. Also, if you have any interesting gym stories to tell, please do so. I remember seeing a naked man clipping his toenails once, in the locker room. And that might have been the day I stopped going… It’s still BURNED into brain, no matter how much I try to purge it. Shit!
And finally, I spent a lot of time in a waiting room yesterday, in downtown Scranton. Good times. While the minutes crept past, I flipped through a newspaper and noticed the comics page. Do people really read those? I’m surprised they still exist. Seriously.
When I was a kid I liked two comics: Herman, and Funky Winkerbean (heh). Both seemed to be funnier and more clever than the rest. I also read Peanuts, and Blondie, and Beetle Bailey, but they rarely made me laugh. They were just… pleasant, I guess.
And remember those “serious” comics, like Mary Worth? Who read those?? What in the hell? They seemed to run for decades somehow. It was baffling to me.
Do you read comics in a newspaper at this point? Which ones? And what were your favorites from the old days? Please tell us about it, won’t you?
And I’ll be back tomorrow, my friends.
See ya then!
Now playing in the bunker
Do your holiday shopping at Amazon!
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters!!!
I can honestly say I haven’t read comics in at least the last 5 years. I haven’t even opened a newspaper within the last year.
Everything online, man, everything online…
What’s a “newspaper”?
gym membership @ the wellness center that is part of the hospital that my wife works for that i can see from my house that we are not currently members of but is where i did all three of my cardiac rehab stints and we are going to join now that she has had total knee replacement..$65.00 per year..for both of us..and they have a pool.nice.
comics..i read pluggers and the far side and my horoscope just because it’s on the same page.
oh…btw..the ONLY reason i read the newspaper is the guy has been delivering it here every morning for the past several years..we never subscribed..and we’ve never been charged.
29.99. and for me the key factor was the fact I can quit ANYTIME without letters, 5 notifications etc.
When you look at it per week, It’s not that bad a deal. Less than $10 a week and if you go at least three times each week, you are under $3 a visit. Cut out one fast food meal and it’s a wash. Plus that meal is probably 900 + calories you are losing on top of it.
We have a large workout center at my company. It has most of the big machines (3-4 of each), free weights, an aerobics/yoga room and showers. Best is that it costs nothing to use it, you just have to sign a sheet of paper saying you won’t sue if you keel over dead while using it.
I still peak in on Garfield. That’s bout it.
Calvin and Hobbes and The Far Side. Once those were gone, it was all over for me.
The wife and I belonged to a gym a few years back. 50 bucks a month for 2, not bad.
I could never get the “soap opera” comics. They seemed to be a waste of space.
Bloom county and Doonesbury were favorites.
Cathy mostly
She just keeps on struggling to lose that weight!
Fat bitches fuck hard.
Just like a moped. Fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to see you.
Yes Yes I know it’s cruel and tasteless. Plus many other things too.
I apologise for nothing.
Non-apology accepted.
Ice’s comment reminded me of what Moe Howard used to tell Curly: “Every time you think it weakens the nation.”
jtb
Jeff, my gym is $35/month (plus $20 initially to get your key card) and it’s month to month. Another gym always advertises their $9.95/month or $19.95/month “No Strings” plan but they also charge an annual fee of about $120. So…..check around and do the math (and read the fine print).
I like Rex Morgan, MD ( i know a comic strip soap opera) and Doonesbury.
Our YMCA is about $35 a month. We have some other places that are around $20, but are very no frills, but some are open 24h .
” I remember seeing a naked man clipping his toenails once, in the locker room. ”
THAT’S where I recognize you from!!!!
Far Side
Herman
Calvin and Hobbs
I used to save the sunday colour comics for last when I read the papers. I used to buy the Star and the Globe on Saturday and the Sun and Star on Sunday every week – the only “papers” I hold while reading now are the ones they deliver for free.
What’s a gym?
Hmmm….
What’s a gym?
What’s a newspaper?
I haven’t read comics since I was about 12. I used to love one that was a penguin & a…cat, maybe? He walked on two paws, so he was tall. I dunno what he was, come to think of it. Anyhow, I forgot the name of that one but it was funny.
I haven’t seen a paper in forever. The only time we utilize newspapers is if we are looking to buy a car & we go out (on a holiday weekend) & buy up Los Angeles area ads. Then we shop around for the cheapest deals on the newest cars. But, we just got a car in June, so I doubt we’ll be doing that anytime soon.
And Jeff, I’m the same way with beer right now. I usually drink Mexican style beers (not Corona, blech!) or hard ciders, but lately (like, months), I drink half a bottle, put it down & find myself washing it down the sink the next morning. I just can’t get in the mood for it. Maybe later, maybe never. Plus I’m enjoying not being so dang bloated all day.
Sounds like Opus (although he was a puffin, not a penguin, I believe) and Bill the Cat from Bloom County. Great strip!
Now I pay $45/month. $130/3 months if paid in advance. They are now running a special for the holidays $100/3 mos. Memberships include everything…all classes, spinning, tanning, weight room and equipment. Sometimes I think about going back to teaching again (spinning, kick boxing, etc…)to get the free membership. But it’s such a commitment I don’t know if I want to do it again. After teaching for over 20 years, I just got burned out.
I have the P90X at home. It’s a hell of a workout. But you need a lot of room to do it and we just don’t have the extra space. It’s all about convenience. I can hit my gym on my way home from work. Otherwise, if I have to go home first, forget it.
I loved Calvin and Hobbes. Had a bunch books…a collection of all their comic strips. I’d read them for hours and laugh like an idiot.
Now, I’ll glance at For Better or Worse; Wizard of Id and Hagar the Horrible.
And for those of you looking for some of life’s lessons, may I suggest “Family Circus”?
Well, now that Bil Keane bought the farm, we won’t be seeing this one anymore.
Actually his son Jeff, yes the one from the comics, has been doing most of the leg work the last few years, I’ve got a feeling it will be around for a few more years.
Nah, he turned it over to his son Jeff.
I’m suprised that a pretensious fuck that would go with one L in the name Bill would put to F’s in his sons name?
Yeah – then he should have been consistent and called that little dumpling “DOLY”
This right here is some fine surf reporting.
Jeff, anytime you go out and start pounding words onto a page it gets me jonesing to write too.
I think I’ll do some more short stories tonight, and really hit it hard next week when the wife is out of town.
In the odd event that I have a physical news paper I do read the comics. Although, I read them the same as I read the stockmarket page; with a sense of confusion and disconnection.
If someone saw me reading the comics I am sure I would look like I’m analyzing SCOTUS slip opinions, or reading a coupon for a 14 for the price of 12 Fram brand oil filter sale.
Once Calvin and Hobbes- the greatest strip of all time- was gone, I couldn’t turn to the comics page again.
My daughter and I read all the books now
My buddies won’t let me give up beer, so there you have it. Doomed I tell ya !!!
The Far Side.
My “gym” is the living room and, if I’m feeling really jaunty, I’ll use the treadmill in the barn. I have XBox so I got Zumba and The Biggest Loser.
From what you described about your own gym horrors (bare assed and cutting toenails???) to the whole “sweaty balls on a bike gagness, I’ve stopped going.
Although my friend did say that Gold’s Gym now has a $20/month unlimited classes package. But they want $60 initiation.
I’ll risk stubbing my dogs on the coffee table leaping around like an idiot. As long as I move my ass, I feel I’m productive.
“Initiation”? Do a bunch of muscle bound steroid freaks sneak up on you in the shower if you refuse to pay the initiation fee?
that’s another thing – the steroid heads grunting, lifting weights, and staring in the mirror. No thanks.
You mean you get pennstated?
Too soon?
It’s never too soon.
.
Oh, and “pennstated” kind of rhymes with “penetrated”, does it not?
.
Oh, and “especially from a girl with a BB stuck to the side of her nose.” – that’s the reason my day gets brighter. LMAO.
I don’t get a paper, but if I stumble across one I will read Dilbert.
Calvin and Hobbs
Opus
Far Side
Mary Worth
One of those is false.
“Mother Goose and Grimm” used to be funny.
That’s the other comic I like but I couldn’t think of the name. Sux to get old.
i am not a gym member but we have a planet fitness nearby that is $10 / mon. and no contract
I was a member of Planet Fitness until the tornado picked ours up and moved it 3 counties west. I liked it, I never felt like anyone was staring at me, and there was always someone as fat or fatter than me there.
Wow, everyone here is paying a pretty dramatically cheap price for their gym memberships. I just signed up with a place for $39 per month with a $60 sign-up fee. Granted, I live in the middle of a godforsaken desert and this is the only gym within a 100-mile radius (no lie), but it’s also pretty great with much better equipment and general facilities than I was used to in the “big city.” The company I work for pays $15 a month toward the membership, though, so I suppose I’m actually paying $24 a month, which makes me feel a little better.
I pay $32/mo. for a gym membership. It’s very close to my house, and they have lots of equipment. I also have a membership to the city’s recreation centers, which costs about $90 per year, and then you pay extra for any classes you take. They have a pool at the rec. center, which they don’t have at the other gym.
The only place around here to get everything in one facility is the YMCA, and it’s about $60/mo. The Y also has children running loose all over the place.
My Mom had a Y membership. She had to travel back to Pittsburgh with my Dad for his surgery and went to the Y close to the hospital to swim. Swimming in the lane next to her was Mr. Rogers! Her life was almost like Forrest Gump with the amazing amount of famous people she met, but was so oblivious to their celebrity. She knew pro football players, baseball players, and one major computer guy and she were on a first name basis. RIP Mom!
And what was up wit Mandrake the Magician? Was he a mind control guy or something?
I have no idea what this reply is doing here. Really. None what so ever.
I’m lucky – we’ve got a gym at work so it’s free for me.
I read Pearls Before Swine online everyday before starting work.
I have one cut from the paper from some time ago under my clear desk pad. I see it every day.
Rat & Pig at aquarium: “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie”… What’s that? A Moray”. Last Panel – Rat tells Stephen “Please retire early.” Love it.
I pay 14.95 a month for a Gold’s Gym that plays intolerably bad music, but is otherwise utilitarian and basic. I use it when the weather is too hot/cold and if injured basically. I gave up weight training for yoga and never looked back.
Namaste Y’all!
An outfit called mycomicspage.com delivers Calvin & Hobbes, Bloom County, Foxtrot and Red Meat to my inbox ‘most every day. It’s a subscription service but It pleases me.
There was a gym at work but since the basement floor flooded last spring & the black mold took over it’s been closed.
Socrates went to the gym three times a week and look what happened… Had he had those extra 24 hours a month, we might today be able to discern the ethical difference between child molestation and a winning football program.
Ironically enough, Socrates might have personally favored the former over the latter, but it’s important to focus on the big picture.
I don’t go to a gym, but I think “Our Boarding House” (with Major Hoople) made significant contributions to western culture.
jtb
Jeff,
At the Greater Scranton YMCA in Dunmore, we pay $55 a month for our family…me, my wife, the older boy and the young’un. It’s nice because they have babysitting for the 4 year old, so we can work out and he’s entertained. Good deal, but it’s a year membership.
Do ya ever hit the showers with Sandusky?
A big shout out to “Bloom County”. I liked “Calvin and Hobbes” a lot too, but “Bloom County” was what we like to call THE SHIT.
I’m right smack dab in the middle of a kitchen remodel that keeps getting curioser and curioser….and by “curious” I mean “expensive”. So I don’t have the extra dough to join a gym. But since I’m bending over and grabbing my ankles every day, that should do for exercise for now.
Mmmm…grabbing your ankles
I only get the Sunday paper for the coupons the comics are rather meager pickings except for Dilbert and Sherman’s Lagoon and Zits.
For my daily comics I use gocomics.com
Brewster rockit and Pearls Before Swine are great daily comics. I really hate comics that continue after the creator dies or retires (classic Peanuts,For Better or Worse, Prince Valiant)
I’m either proud or ashamed to say that I have no idea what a gym membership has ever cost.
Haven’t seen the “Sunday funnies” in many years, but I did like Calvin and Hobbes back in the day. Red Meat is the best, but it was always in your local alternative weekly (e.g. City Paper), not the stodgy big papers like the Wash. Post. The soap opera comics (and Family Circus) have always been tragic wastes of paper and ink.
.
Alright people- how much ya bench?
Pre-cancer 350 on a good day. Now, some days it’s hard to lift my arms over my head. But hey, prognosis is good!
Holy shit, clint. First of all, great news on the prognosis. I hope you have all good days as soon as possible.
Second, that’s pretty fuggin strong. For a guy who’s not on the juice.
I’m a huge steroid eatin’ bastard ass bitch, I’m talking pills, ass cheek injections, the clear, I make fuckin’ chewing gum out of this shit FUCK man I’m pumped just thinkin’ about it. YEEEAH. My balls are totally not even all that tiny, either.
So anyway, I’m benchin’ about 690.
Wow! 690 is incredible! I used to help spot for a friend who was around 400. He was incredible because he couldn’t have gone a inch over 5 feet in height, but had this compact muscular body. Only other guy I’ve met like him is a former Marine I live next to. Man, I wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of either of those two!
Well, I’m not so impressive, as I am 7’2″ and 375 pounds. But before the steroids, I was 7’1″ and 185, so the juice helped. Not to mention the radioactive spider. My nuts were waaayyyyy bigger, though. But only a little bit.
Lifting is my life.
But I’ll tell ya, I also wouldn’t want to get inside either of those two.
!
Now, probably not much. What’s normal 180 to 200?
When I was in Afghanistan me and a few other guys would meet between shift change and lift. I got up to max pushing 320 lbs three times. That’s the most I’ve ever done.
Only one of the guy, as far as I know, was juicing. His inner quads and pecs were awesome.
If I’m lying prone and have to lift something over my face and chest area?…I’m either installing a driveshaft or beginning a wonderful realtionship.
Man, you guys have it made! Where I live, all we have is a city owned rec center with a gym and it is $4 per visit. Fortunately the company I work for picks up quite a bit of the bill. But hey, for $4 we get to play a couple hours of tennis on an improvised court on the basketball court three days a week. Good times in the Great White North!
Just curious, but were any of you “old” folks fans of the comic strip “Dondi?” Such a variety back in the day…Mary Worth, Aparment 3G…basically cartoon versions of soap operas. Oh yeah, Dick Tracy! If you were a fan, you HAD to subscribe to the newspaper to keep up with them.
And then there were the cartoon inter-relationships. Have you ever read “Hi and Lois?” Beetle Bailey is Lois’ brother!
Loved Funky Winkerbean. Far Side was awesome. I still read what we oldtimers used to call the “funny pages.” Lots less humor content in the newspapers these days it seems. Sad to see it end, but it really was great while it lasted. I still read the comics when I pick up a newspaper to pass the time at the airport, but it seems to have lost its appeal.
I remember Dondi from the late 1960s. I read it, but without much enthusiasm since I didn’t know the back story. It was on the front page next to Dick Tracy (<- two way wrist radio!)
My parents always got the Sunday NY Times, but we kids lobbied to get the Daily News on Sundays since the News had comics and the Times didn't. Somehow they pried loose the extra quarter. One of us kids would then walk up to the candy store and buy both papers. We would actually vie for it, since he who went to get the paper got to read the comics on the way back.
.
I invested in an elliptical that I use at home between long work days and commutes I just don’t have energy to go to the gym. But I can jump on the elliptical a bit before or after work whenever I have time to fit it in.
I lament…my life’s passion for beer is waning
Though I can’t go so far as to call it abstaining.
Maybe it’s just a phase or the glaze of a daily haze.
I honestly don’t know the reason.
Oh try as I might my usual twelve pack at night
Has fallen to a half a can number eight.
I shouldn’t be upset or regret just yet
Unless I totally blow off Bourbon Season.
I pay $22.50 biweekly for my membership and that’s a corporate rate. I am also locked in for a year. I’m in Canada though and most things seem to be more expensive than in the US. Except of course our cheap pharmaceuticals which is like catnip for seniors. Personally, I have found that people are WAY too free with themselves in gym locker rooms. Recently, a friend walked into the men’s locker room to find a dude standing in front of a hand dryer with his hands behind his head. Yup, he was drying his pubes. I mean really, is that necessary?!? And if it is, perhaps you should be towelling that shit dry in a private stall. As for comics, Garfield and the Far Side were definitely my faves. As for the worst? Hands down Andy Capp. Ugh. That’s just my two cents. ‘Night!
My area of expertise is actually health clubs. And is what I have been doing for the past 13 years. The first one I was at for along time had pretty much every thing you want in a gym. Fitness center, pool, racquetball, group fitness, pilates, yoga, bb court, spinning,and full locker rooms with towel service. All those things included in the membership- about $55.00/month. The one I went to work at afterwards had a fitness center and group fitness included in the membership with full locker room and towel service. That one was $39/month.
Based on my years of reading your site, I’m going to guess that you just want a gym with machines and weights- I don’t see you as a public bather so a locker room is probably not up your alley. I also don’t really see you participating in group fitness classes so… I suggest you find a 24 Hour Fitness, Anytime Fitness, Snap or another franchise type club along those lines where you can join for around $20 per month.
That of course is just my professional opinion!
Oh yeah- and check with your health insurance provider. Many of them will reimburse some, if not all of your dues. You may have to use the gym X amount of times to get that, but if you join your gonna use it right?
We just had our yearly “benefits” meeting last night, part of the “wellness” package is reduced gym memberships. Only in “network” gyms of course!
Man, go to the Y. It’s got everything you need minus the attitudes plus it’s way less expensive than commercial gyms. No initiation fee, no contract.
You wanna get that pool schedule, though, and avoid the hours before and after Senior Swim. It can get downright H.P. Lovecraft up in there.
Every Y must be different. Our local Y requires a 1 year deal at $45 a month plus a $90 new member fee.
HI folks,
I know I’m a day behind, but seeing the Winnebago man’s smiley face vagueley reminded me of Dieter Meier.
He was one of the founders of the 80’s group Yello-( ‘Oh Yeah’ , Ferris Buellers Day Off etc.) He is also a really interesting guy, ‘Wiki’ him.
Here’s a link to a really interesting project he did where he invents personalities and impersonates them, once in 1974 then again in 2005. As mad as a bucket of frogs!
http://www.dietermeier.com/viewer.php?year=2005&cat=1&proj=51
….and I forgot about Bloom County. The characters each had their own niche and I rank that one just below (slightly) Calvin and Hobbes.
Worst strip ever– gotta be Cathy. I would read 1000 panels of Mary Worth before one strip of Cathy. Badly drawn, bad jokes. Can’t figure out how that made it so long
A couple of times here, ‘spinning’ has been mentioned. Last I heard, spinning was a technique for turning wool, cotton or the like into thread or yarn. Am I missing something?
Pilates I get – he was the Roman judge who famously washed his hands.
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“Spinning” is an indoor cycling program with an instructor and music. By turning the resistance up or down, it can simulate riding different roads (hills, flat, etc..).
It’s one of the best cardio workouts I’ve ever done/taught. It is always a challenge and will burn more calories in a 30 minute class than anything else out there. The best part is you don’t feel beat up afterwards.
I highly recommend it, even for newby’s. Just make sure your instructor and the music they use is motiviating. It can be the longest 1/2hr – hour of your life the instructor has the personality of a cotton ball.
Wow…a “spinner”, on the other hand, has a totally different meaning but also involves a great amount enjoyment and exercise.
A “spinner’?? Is that the same as “sit on my chin, spin til I grin”?
Never heard that. Nope…and you’re allowed eight more guesses
Spinning is just a cool name for “stationary bike exercise program.”
Spinner is just a regional name for the “helicopter” sexual manuever.
Oh, that’s national. Had several spinners in the Bob Evans days. Even installed a swing in my bedroom for such a practice
Damn dude. “Sexual manuever”?? Sounds like a military opperaton. The hell? And Stephen King would not approve of your over use of ‘just’. Implies commonplace, ordinary,everyday. Never had a spinner I’d guess.
“Helicopter” is a sexual manuever?? Or does one need Life Flight afterwards?
$31 a month. The equipment is 15 years old and decrepit, the PT is surly, the showers are non-existent.
Your gym sounds like a good deal.
Comics. Two words. Prince Valiant.
I dated a guitar player in a band for a while. The bass player wore his hair like “Prince Valiant” and was always high as a kite. We called him Prince Valium.
For comics I always gravitated towards B.C.. Not sure why, but I liked it. Also “Ziggy” sometimes. I haven’t looked at comics in the newspaper since wild poodles roamed the earth.
We go to the YMCA. They built a new one up the roadfrom us and it’s nice. You don’t see a lot of those self righteous assholes in there (who look like a condom full of walnuts) that stare at you and feel compelled to offer “hints” on “technique.” Fuck that. It’s mostly housewives and fatasses – right up my alley.
I think I pay $70 a month to go to the YMCA.
I haven’t had a drink since July 4th. I’m what most would call an alcoholic. I drank daily for years. As I get older the hangovers hurt like a motherfucker. Several times I thought I might actually die. I’m not the kind of guy that drinks 3 beers and that’s it. I have 0 or I have 30, no in-between.
Aug. 17th was my date. That is until I had to deal with knowing there was a dead cat in my freezer 1800 miles away. When I was off for three days in L.A.?…two words…”Applebee’s fucking Happy Hour!”. Any reason as they say. When I’m ‘on duty’ I do put it away and never even think about drinking. When I’m not…well…
Good for you T.Farty. Self dicipline is a must. My chronic masturbation is coming under control too. Baby steps. One wank at a time.
5784 days for me. Not that I’m counting. I do miss it however, but not as much as the chronic (also 5784 days). Damn, I miss the chronic.
I like the newspaper. It has a utility to it that goes beyond simply reading it, like laying it on top of the dog’s barf so my wife can find it later and clean it up. Besides, there’s something creepy about taking your media device into the crapper.
I still read the funnies, usually in the crapper. “F Minus”, “Bizarro” and “Speedbump” are the best. I pray often that the hack who does “Close to Home” will get hit by a car and lose his go-to appendage. Maybe that already happened…