Blame WordPress For This Update! I Wash My Hands Of It

I am, at this moment, very confused. When I logged into WordPress this morning everything was different. And I’m not talking about a handful of small enhancements. I mean it’s like I’m using a brand new program that I’ve never seen before. What in the ass-wiping hell is going on?!

Apparently, it’s something called Gutenberg that, to be fair, WordPress has been warning us is coming. But, after a bout of initial concern, I just forgot about it. I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it, I mumbled down my shirt collar.

Well, I’m there, my friends. I attempted to go back to the “classic” set-up, to avoid discomfort for a little while longer, but it would not allow it. Now it’s Gutenberg or nothing, losers. And what kind of stupid name is that, anyway? It adds insult to injury.

At this point, I’m typing in the editor, but have no idea how to add a photo to the top of the page. This is bullshit. I’m very close to just throwing in the towel on this crap. Wow.

I’ll tell you about the podcast episode, for patrons, which I successfully released at or near 12:01 AM. The title is ‘Put On Your Cans And I’ll Pot You Up!’ Here’s the link. And here’s the summary:

In this exclusive episode for the Delta Force of Podcast Listeners I go on and on about a recent episode of 20/20, discuss the history of The $64 Question, describe the coffee mug I’m using, tell you about a grocery store conversation I had about Christmas music, the sad status of my current to-do list, a puzzling loaf of bread pricing scheme, the $6 Buck Meal, and the way people react to homicide detectives on TV shows. I hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks for the support!

I thought this episode was somewhat of a turd, but I re-listened and now feel differently. It definitely has some laughs. Check it out if you’re so inclined.

Now I have a photo inserted, but it’s at the bottom of the page. I resized it, but it’s still showing as the original dimensions. Whatever. I also don’t know how to move it. It feels like you should be able to drag and drop the thing, but it doesn’t work. I’m losing my mind. I’m doing Google searches and reading sketchy websites with so many popups I feel like my junk computer might burst into flames. You guys should thank me for not having popups and garbage like that on The Surf Report. Videos don’t start playing… the site doesn’t jerk and shift as nonsense loads… there are no popups… Oh well.

OK. I moved the photo to the top. Turns out if you put the cursor on the image, a tiny and almost translucent “arrow up” icon appears and you can click it and move the photograph wherever you need it. However, I’m now adding a title and it repeatedly disappears. I don’t know why. Why?? Have I mentioned that this is bullshit?

Every new paragraph creates a block. And each block has its own settings and navigation. I didn’t realize I needed a degree in engineering to run a dick ‘n’ poop joke website. I have to go. Blame WordPress for this update. Sweet sainted mother of Rodney Allen Rippy!

Please remember to use our Amazon links, and all that stuff. It’ll eat up maybe three extra seconds of your time, and will cost you nothing extra. But it’s a big deal to me. So, thanks for remembering.

I need to go to work now. I promise to have this thing halfway mastered by next time. At least enough to do a real update.

Have a great weekend, my friends!

Now playing in the bunker
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