Have you ever blown your nose, taken a quick, stealthy Kleenex inventory, and found something coal black in there? Well, I have. And from Thursday evening until last night my sinuses were also swollen and my head disfigured.
A few days ago I joked about looking like the Elephant Man, after receiving a bee sting on the back of the head, and then my face started puffing-up and going in every direction. I don’t think the gods much enjoy Elephant Man humor… So, take it from me: don’t do it.
Clearly, I had some sort of sinus infection and, in addition to my head of horrors, it also dragged my ass down. I felt drained and out-of-it, and today’s the First Normal Day in quite some time.
Also, with almost no advance warning, we had “visitors” on Saturday and Sunday It was a quick guerrilla strike of chaos, and mailing list subscribers will get more details on that deal, ASAP.
So yeah, I’ve had better weekends. I really have.
And speaking of Kleenex… I use the term generically, but almost never choose that specific brand of disposable snot rag. Because, I’m convinced, they embed sneezing powder into them. Whenever I honk into a Kleenex, I immediately launch into a prolonged sneezing jag. …Then use more Kleenex to clean (kleen) up the mess.
Have any of you noticed this? Can you confirm my suspicions? We need to get to the bottom of this outrage! We have a responsibility to expose the evils of this… this… boogergate!!
On Saturday Toney and I went to Wegman’s to buy a twelve-pack of some sort of fancy-ass microbrew, to accommodate our “visitors.” And we opted for the Saranac Summer Sampler. It contained several hoppy ales, as well as a few out-there selections, such as Pomegranate Wheat – which always appeals to the pit-pelt congregation.
And near the coolers was a large display of something called Saranac Pumpkin Ale. I don’t like novelty shit like that, I won’t drink chocolate beer or candy cane beer or chicken ‘n’ dumplins beer, or anything of the sort. But Toney was intrigued, so we bought a six-pack.
Blecch. As far as I can tell, it doesn’t actually contain pumpkin, but rather the spices used to make pumpkin pie. Like clove and cinnamon and allspice, and stuff like that. I only took a small sip, and my lower jaw retracted like a cash register drawer being slammed shut.
Toney didn’t really like it either, but the visitors thought it was “delightful,” and all six bottles are now gone. Heh.
Have you ever tried a really bizarre variety of beer? Tell us about it, won’t you?
Since Paul Weller’s American “tour” starts tomorrow night, it looks like he’s not going to cancel it this time ’round. Steve and I have tickets for his show in Philadelphia on Sunday night, and I was mentally prepared for disappointment.
But it’s a little late for cancellations, isn’t it? Isn’t it?? So, the show might actually happen? I sure hope so. The Jam are one of my all-time favorite bands, and Weller’s solo career ain’t too shabby either – and I’ve never seen him play live.
Because I lived in Atlanta, a big city, at exactly the right time of my life, and also worked in the music biz, I’ve had the good fortune of seeing almost all my Bigtime Musical Heroes in concert. Including Graham Parker, Nick Lowe, Randy Newman, The Kinks, Steely Dan, Nirvana, Warren Zevon, Elvis Costello and the Attractions, The Pogues, The Replacements, and literally hundreds of others.
A few that slipped through the cracks: The Clash (I saw Big Audio Dynamite twice, but it’s not the same), Wreckless Eric (I actually had a chance to see him, at a hole in the wall in Atlanta, and became paralyzed by laziness and didn’t go!), and all members of the Beatles (McCartney is supposedly ramping up for a two-year “farewell” tour, and I might be tempted to lay down da money).
I also had tickets to see some new band from Seattle, something called Pearl Jam(?!), at a tiny dive in Atlanta. A guy at work gave me the tickets (I think they were $4 each), and said I HAD to see these guys. But I opted instead for an evening of alcoholic excess and clumsy sex with a girlfriend. And so it goes.
So, if Weller actually plays Sunday night, it’ll be a big deal to me. What musical artists, who were active in your lifetime, would you like to see, but haven’t?
And finally, from the Stealing Clive Bull’s Topics desk: is there an item (or items) in your kitchen that NEVER gets used?
A lot of Clive’s callers said they own sandwich makers that were used exactly twice, then packed away forever. Pretty funny, because Toney and I have recently considered buying a sandwich maker; we want to try to recreate a grilled sandwich, called a Gobbler, we used to buy at a restaurant in Atlanta, named Atkins Park.
So, what about you? Do you own a small appliance, or whatever, that seemed great in the abstract, but you never actually use? We need to know.
And that’s gonna do it for today, boys and girls.
More tomorrow.
1st!?
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters!!!!!!!!!!!!!
???
I don’t think I have ever heard of a sandwich maker.
Yippee!!!!!
Jubilale has Christmas spices in it. Tastes like soda and cloves to me.
Oh my god! I don’t believe it! First! I would like to thank myself for wasting away valuable time at work by diligently checking the WVSR for a new update. Finally I would like to give a message of hope to all you Surf Reporters out there who dare to dream that they too can be fist in WVSR responses. You to can do it! You can be just like me! Thank you.
Top 10? You don’t need a sandwich maker, Jeff. Just use a cast iron skillet to weigh down the top of the sandwich. Or, if you don’t have one of those…wrap a brick in aluminum foil.
Did you say gobbler?
I have a pair of salad tongs that have never touched a salad. I usually just dig both of my hands in the bowl and pull out fistfulls of lettuce. Eliminating the middle man. Maybe I should take it a step further and just cram the fisted veggies straight into my face and bypass the bowl, too.
~~~~tyler?
EPIC FAIL!!
don’t mind chocolate ales, but keep the fruit away please.
Appliances:
– a cute little Pampered Chef pastry pocket thingy.
– salad spinner
– electric scrubber thingy for cleaning grout and stuff – it looks like a toothbrush on steroids
Don’t bother with a sandwich maker (or panini grill or whatever) — a George Foreman grill does a lovely job with sandwiches, plus, in a pinch, you can throw burgers all up in there.
Tyler,
premature verbal discharge.
Now clean it up.
The Clash – for sure! X was another one I though had slipped through the cracks but saw them recently and I have to say, John Doe still kicks ass.
we have a small food processor but i usually chop the veggies on a board. who wants to clean another gadget?
Just bought the Saranac Octoberfest, and it’s GOOOOOD.
Bought a vibrator once….
Oh, and Brooke? Thanks for putting the image of ‘fisted veggies’ in my head. Prettu sure you didn’t intend to create images of a naughty Bob the Tomato, but there ya go.
Whoa! “EPIC FAIL”? That’s a little harsh. How about just regular “FAIL” or even “Uber FAIL”, but “Epic”? That should be reserved for brides who fall and break there nose while walking to the alter or the Presidential career of George W Bush.
Not in the top ten and feeling fine.
I missed out on Paul Revere and the Raiders the first time around…but did catch them at a car show 40 years later (sans Mark Lyndsey). They were still wearing the tricorner hats and costumes they wore in the 60s, and the keyboard was still ensconced in the front end of an old Cadillac.
Sinus infections suck. Battling one myself right now.
i don’t use my spice rack. it gives me the shivers.
We had this plug in thing that made awesome grilled cheese. I am sure the wife had a good reason for hiding it. Must have worked too well. We had a George Forman (or “Joe” Forman as my wife calls him) grill thing that let grease drain off of burgers. Ain’t seen that since Bing Crosby got kicked out of Crosby, Stills and Nash.
Oh. We’ve got an electric WOK in the garage that has been there for 20 years and we never even took it out of the box.
We have a spice rack/carousel thing that I suspect was a regfit that we don’t use, but only becuase I already have those spices and who the hell knows how old the regifts are.
I do have a granite mortar and pestle that I use from time to time and we trot out the foreman grill, salad spinner and food processer whenever we feel the need.
I don’t often use a meat thermometer, but I have. Other than that it seems like we use pretty much all the stuff we have.
I don’t generally care for beer, and often dislike microbrews the most. Clearly my opinion indicates an uneducated or defective palate or there wouldn’t be a market for such things. I’m willing to take the ridicule and stick to Diet Coke or vodka martinis.
appliance that never gets used in my kitchen…the stove/oven.
…but it looks like tyler was first, and then came back to gush about it. Unless there are two tyler’s vying for the #1 spot, in which case I’m outta here, you guys are freaking me out.
Why you all gettin’ up in Tyler’s grill? He was first and proud of it!
I would love to see Tom Petty, but he only plays the big open canyon type venue that is 3+ hours away and I hate going there..so I keep waiting for him to play someplace closer.
We have a salad shooter that hasn’t been used for years….Too messy and too many parts.
Oh, and from last weeks’ comments question re: words you hate or don’t hear much anymore…My husband used the word ‘calisthenics’ today, as in “I did some calisthenics this morning”. Sounded like he was 83 years old.
Beer: I managed a microbrewery for a few years while still in school. Part of what made it great is the brewery community: People from other breweries would drop by out of the blue (but with samples) for a tour, tasting and talk. I got to try beers from around the world: most were good, some were great, and others were…different. I had hemp beer, wheat beers, “desert beers”, chocolate ales, etc. but the worst crap in my opinion (besides bad home brew) is Hoegaarden (http://www.hoegaarden.com/). It’s a popular Belgian ale, available around the world, but I hate the stuff. It’s not just that it’s unfiltered, (which is a scam: they skip the most expensive part of the brewing precess and then charge a premium to buy it) but the flavor is like wet dog: yeeeech!!
Shows: I’ve seen Pearl Jam a few times and each show has been great. Over the years I’ve been to a lot of concerts and every band has it’s ups and downs, but with some you tend to see the down more than the up (Oasis & Morrissey I’m looking at you), but Pearl Jam has delivered every time, and I’ve seen them enough where I would expect to have seen at least one bad show. If you get a chance go and see them.
Strange Brew: Check out: http://www.freakingnews.com/Beer-Pictures
Talking of the great’s Warren Zevon would turn in his grave if he heard Kid Rock’s latest piece of junk!
I agree with Tyler: his post was full of FAIL, but not in epic proportions. Thdajsd
JR – saw Tom Petty at the Fillmore a cuppla years ago – awesome. Was at the last Sex Pistols gig at Winterland. Ramones. Iggy Pop. Elvis & the Attractions. Queen. You all know I’m a concert whore – have been for more than 30 years (ahhh…Days on the Green). Never got to see the Beatles (although I saw my least favorite Beatle – McCartney – a few years back).
Least used kitchen gadget: candy thermometer. Although with this bloody neckbrace on, it’s all gathering dust at the moment.
Happy Monday, Surfers!
How about a giant useless breadmaker stored in the hall closet. I’d throw the effer away but the Christmas gift giver would surely ask me about it and my lying face won’t stay straight.
I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned a Fondue Maker. Maybe it’s just a Left Coast kinda thing…
And Tiff? Just once, huh? If so, how many times has it been in the shop??
Tyler had the right idea…I think he just failed in the execution. You’ve gotta be quick, man. Have your gloating pre-drafted and copied onto your clipboard, all ready to go…then just paste it in and send it as quickly as possible. Not that I’d ever do such a thing, of course….
Jeff, that spice rack would make a lovely addition to the “House of Nancy”. Just think of the hours of fun and excite you’ll get out of that one.
Tiff, all you had to do was ask. I could have saved you a few bucks, given you hours of enjoyment and made you breakfast.
pagan,
You are so right. That Kid Rock song sucks. Goofy lyrics like:
We didn’t have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair
WTF?!
Music…I’d have to say the Sex Pistols – being a big punk fan in my formative (musical) years, saw everybody else in that genre. Best show had to be the Clash at the US Festival – Mick Jones’ last gig with the band, plus got to see Paul Simonon get into a punchout with Mark Goodman from MTV and hear Joe Strummer’s longwinded diatribe about soulless corporate moneygrubbers. As a 21 year old who’d suffered endlessly through the day’s synth-laden ‘New Wave’ music from musical geniuses like Men At Work…finally, good times.
Kitchen…believe it or not, the one appliance that rarely gets used in my kitchen is the coffeemaker. I have never drunk coffee – I mean literally never – but I have a cheap Mr. Coffee that I dig out on behalf of weekend guests a couple times a year. (Don’t get me wrong – I still believe in heavily caffeinating oneself – but I’m a Diet Coke drinker instead, morning to night.)
“we want to try to recreate a grilled sandwich, called a Gobbler, we used to buy at a restaurant in Atlanta, named Atkins Park.”
As for Atkins Park, they stopped making that sandwich. I use to hit them for lunch at least twice a week when I worked in Atlanta.
http://www.atkinspark.com/food.cfm
That, would be the infamous “Rosie Goobler” would it? I have recipe that rocks, I use sour dough bread and toast it, I then place the slices (2) on a oven pan and pile thin sliced turkey (preferably smoked or fryed) and a pile of rare roast beef on top of the turkey. Heat on broil until the meat is sizzling hot, top with a few slices of your favorite cheese (I prefer Smoked Provolone) and heat til the cheese bubbles or for a different twist (or dairy intolerance), skip the cheese and top with a brown or turkey gravy and serve open face. Sandwich can also be pan grilled.
Does anyone remember Hop ‘N Gator? It was a “beer” in the early seventies. There was a picture of a palm tree on the can. At the time, I thought it was good, but I’m pretty sure it was disgusting since I haven’t heard of it since then.
Never seen/ would love to see/ would love to have seen:
Alice in Chains (haven’t heard much about the new singer)
Nirvana (seen Foo Fighters twice)
Candlebox (currently touring)
Ratt (currently touring)
Faster Pussycat
Blind Melon (haven’t heard much about the new singer)
Flaw
Between the Buried and Me
Temple of the Dog (don’t think they ever actually toured)
Never seen Aerosmith or AC/DC: mixed feelings about paying big bucks to see either.
I’ve seen Velvet Revolver and Guns n Roses 2006 but not GNR 1987-92
Nine Inch Nails eluded me until this summer, going to see them again in two months.
Saw Pantera, Limp Bizkit, A Perfect Circle and the Smashing Pumpkins twice each. Metallica and Motley Crue four times each.
Seen Tool, Korn and Pearl Jam 5+ times each and never been dissapointed
Awesome band that you’ve probably never heard of that I saw (open up for Tool in 1994): Failure
Zeppelin would have been cool to see.
I hate wheat beers and I would never have gone near anything called Pumpkin Anything as I hate all pumpkin. And I particularly hate fruit in my beer.
I used to love Saranac, but it’s harder to get here in Michigan. Dammit.
Tyrosine – Amen on the Hoegarden – that shit is just nasty!
Um, stuff in my kitchen I don’t use…does the oven count?
Oh, band I’d love to see – Joy Division…of course, that’s impossible since Ian Curtis is dead, but if you ever asked a time machine question that would be my answer.
Two fondue pots, both of which we received as wedding gifts. Both in the box. Maybe I need to pay a visit to ebay since some idiot is paying over $200 for a haunted spice rack.
That’s it, a haunted fondue pot that overnite mysteriously became two!
Appliances that never get used: The big ass chicken rotisserie with about a bazillion parts. $10 for a chicken, four hours of roasting time, 2 hours of cleanup. OR, I could just go to the frickin’ grocery store at 5PM and pick up a fully cooked rotisserie chicken for $5.99. Hmmm, doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure wht that particular appliance hit the garbage can after the first and only use!
Watermelon ale at Salem beer works… with a giant slice of watermelon stuck in it.
Ummm it was cold.
I like a wheat beer on a hot day, and Hoegaarden is the original that Blue Moon, Shock Top et al were copied from. It’s good stuff, and if some of you don’t like it then there’s more for me. As for bizarre beers, there was a fad for a while for chile beers (as in, hot pepper flavored). I did not care for those at all; bad idea. Pumpkin beer is still around, but I’ve never tried it – the thought is too horrible to contemplate. Usually I’ll go for something with plenty-o-hops, like a Harpoon IPA or a Hop Devil or some such. I’ll take a Simcoe if it’s available.
Kathleen, I’m with you on the Joy Division. Other ‘dead’ bands I would have liked to see but never did? It’s a long list, from Gentle Giant to the Ramones to Stevie Ray Vaughan. Can’t think of too many currently-active bands I want to see… Green Day, Fountains of Wayne and They Might Be Giants is all that comes to mind right now.
The never-used kitchen gadget would be the Belgian waffle maker. Woops, I just checked and there is also a forgotten electric sandwich press as well as the GF’s Hello Kitty waffle iron. None have been used more than a few times, and none recently. I use the Bernz-o-matic torch all the time, though. It’s great for browning the top of anything au gratin; pretty good for soldering pipes too.
We were actually considering purchasing a Belgian waffle maker, one that flips. that would be cool.
I was given a waffle maker for a shower gift- used it once and it got so gummed up it could not be cleaned. Stuff stuck to every part of the cooking surface. Right into the trash.
I do dig the George Foreman for a nice grilled cheese sangwich.
I have an ice cream maker, one of the fancy electric ones not the old hand crankers from my youth that grandma used. I used it one time. I think it is buried in one of my cabinets in the garage.
Use a Foreman grill or a waffle iron for sandwiches
Glad I found the site I really enjoy this.