Have you ever blown your nose, taken a quick, stealthy Kleenex inventory, and found something coal black in there? Well, I have. And from Thursday evening until last night my sinuses were also swollen and my head disfigured.
A few days ago I joked about looking like the Elephant Man, after receiving a bee sting on the back of the head, and then my face started puffing-up and going in every direction. I don’t think the gods much enjoy Elephant Man humor… So, take it from me: don’t do it.
Clearly, I had some sort of sinus infection and, in addition to my head of horrors, it also dragged my ass down. I felt drained and out-of-it, and today’s the First Normal Day in quite some time.
Also, with almost no advance warning, we had “visitors” on Saturday and Sunday It was a quick guerrilla strike of chaos, and mailing list subscribers will get more details on that deal, ASAP.
So yeah, I’ve had better weekends. I really have.
And speaking of Kleenex… I use the term generically, but almost never choose that specific brand of disposable snot rag. Because, I’m convinced, they embed sneezing powder into them. Whenever I honk into a Kleenex, I immediately launch into a prolonged sneezing jag. …Then use more Kleenex to clean (kleen) up the mess.
Have any of you noticed this? Can you confirm my suspicions? We need to get to the bottom of this outrage! We have a responsibility to expose the evils of this… this… boogergate!!
On Saturday Toney and I went to Wegman’s to buy a twelve-pack of some sort of fancy-ass microbrew, to accommodate our “visitors.” And we opted for the Saranac Summer Sampler. It contained several hoppy ales, as well as a few out-there selections, such as Pomegranate Wheat – which always appeals to the pit-pelt congregation.
And near the coolers was a large display of something called Saranac Pumpkin Ale. I don’t like novelty shit like that, I won’t drink chocolate beer or candy cane beer or chicken ‘n’ dumplins beer, or anything of the sort. But Toney was intrigued, so we bought a six-pack.
Blecch. As far as I can tell, it doesn’t actually contain pumpkin, but rather the spices used to make pumpkin pie. Like clove and cinnamon and allspice, and stuff like that. I only took a small sip, and my lower jaw retracted like a cash register drawer being slammed shut.
Toney didn’t really like it either, but the visitors thought it was “delightful,” and all six bottles are now gone. Heh.
Have you ever tried a really bizarre variety of beer? Tell us about it, won’t you?
Since Paul Weller’s American “tour” starts tomorrow night, it looks like he’s not going to cancel it this time ’round. Steve and I have tickets for his show in Philadelphia on Sunday night, and I was mentally prepared for disappointment.
But it’s a little late for cancellations, isn’t it? Isn’t it?? So, the show might actually happen? I sure hope so. The Jam are one of my all-time favorite bands, and Weller’s solo career ain’t too shabby either – and I’ve never seen him play live.
Because I lived in Atlanta, a big city, at exactly the right time of my life, and also worked in the music biz, I’ve had the good fortune of seeing almost all my Bigtime Musical Heroes in concert. Including Graham Parker, Nick Lowe, Randy Newman, The Kinks, Steely Dan, Nirvana, Warren Zevon, Elvis Costello and the Attractions, The Pogues, The Replacements, and literally hundreds of others.
A few that slipped through the cracks: The Clash (I saw Big Audio Dynamite twice, but it’s not the same), Wreckless Eric (I actually had a chance to see him, at a hole in the wall in Atlanta, and became paralyzed by laziness and didn’t go!), and all members of the Beatles (McCartney is supposedly ramping up for a two-year “farewell” tour, and I might be tempted to lay down da money).
I also had tickets to see some new band from Seattle, something called Pearl Jam(?!), at a tiny dive in Atlanta. A guy at work gave me the tickets (I think they were $4 each), and said I HAD to see these guys. But I opted instead for an evening of alcoholic excess and clumsy sex with a girlfriend. And so it goes.
So, if Weller actually plays Sunday night, it’ll be a big deal to me. What musical artists, who were active in your lifetime, would you like to see, but haven’t?
And finally, from the Stealing Clive Bull’s Topics desk: is there an item (or items) in your kitchen that NEVER gets used?
A lot of Clive’s callers said they own sandwich makers that were used exactly twice, then packed away forever. Pretty funny, because Toney and I have recently considered buying a sandwich maker; we want to try to recreate a grilled sandwich, called a Gobbler, we used to buy at a restaurant in Atlanta, named Atkins Park.
So, what about you? Do you own a small appliance, or whatever, that seemed great in the abstract, but you never actually use? We need to know.
And that’s gonna do it for today, boys and girls.
More tomorrow.
I remember the Allman Brothers coming to the State Fair Music Hall in Dallas sometime in late summer 1971. I know the Fillmore album had just come out. My buddies and I were mostly sophomores (or about to be) in high school, so if we wanted to go to any concerts we had to arrange the dreaded chauffeur service with someone’s parents. I couldn’t get anyone interested, plus ABB had the reputation of playing half the night. So none of us went. And Duane was dead three months later. And that has sucked forever.
Bands/Artists during my lifetime that I regret having never seen:
The Monochrome Set
Muddy Waters
Lightning Hopkins
Captain Beefheart
The Only Ones
Doll By Doll
The Sex Pistols (1st tour)
The Tubes (pre Remote Control era)
Johnny Cash
James Carr
Lee “Scratch” Perry
Joy Division
Bonzo Dog Band
Pere Ubu (orig lineup)
The Dictators
Mudhoney (But I did see Green River once. -sigh-)
The Blue Aeroplanes/Art Objects
Wire
Radio Birdman
Redd Kross
Roky Erickson
Tangerine Dream
Otis Rush
Junior Kimbrough
The Daily Planet (Ibon Errazkin’s South American guitar combo, NOT the other 15 bands out there named Daily Planet)
Roxy Music
Dave Kusworth/Nikki Sudden/Jacobites
XTC
King Crimson (Fripp/Bruford/Wetton lineup)
Ian Dury & The Blockheads
Rory Gallagher
Albert King
Ride
The Specials
New York Dolls
Dire Straits before they sucked
This is really a good list for me, because I’ve been blessed in life by getting to see just about every other band I’ve ever wanted to see at one time or another! I’ve been one lucky mf’er on that front (as Jesco would say).
Kitchen stuff I never use:
~rice steamer (90 second rice bags are a whole lot faster and easier)
~spaghetti pot with built-in colander
~whisk
~egg white separator
~almost everything I’ve ever bought at a Pampered Chef party
Oh, and I LOVE Octoberfest beers. It’s one of my favorite times of the year when the Octoberfests are on tap.
I am with the people who said food processor. I use all my other crap. I did recently get rid of a George Foreman grill though – disgustingly messy.
I generally like all kinds of beer. It is the nasty faux mixed drink malt beverages that suck – they kill my stomach and taste like acetone. Blech!
Saw the Ramones twice – amazing – two hours of music, no breaks
Saw Petty and the Heartbreakers with Dylan and the Dead in 1986 – was about 165 degrees at RFK
I don’t think Hop n Gator was actually “beer” – but some sort of unholy malted bevvy
and yes i said calisthenics – what of it?
Yeppers HopNGator sucked ass. I would have loved to have seen Roy Buchanan also Keith Whitley. Odd mix eh? Thats me I guess Patsy Cline next to Metalica.
Sooo, I totally misread the question….and therefore my original answer makes no frigging sense at all. Though, come to think of it….the item truly IS only rarely used in the kitchen.
Anyhow, as to what’s in my kitchen that rarely gets used, the answer would have to be ‘nothing.” I left it all with the ex when I moved out; even the most awesome Kitchen Aid stand mixer that was a gift to me. Miss that thing.
Re: Belgian Ales – yeech. They’re like Scotch to me, I know people like them, but for the life of me I couldn’t say why. I’d rather drink pumpkin stout than a Belgian ale any day. And i don’t even LIKE pumpkin stout.
I don’t like beer so I can’t really comment on that. Cept they all taste the same to me.
As for kitchen appliances:
We have a waffle maker that I used a few times but all the waffles want to stick. And I don’t like to clean it up. Pancakes are a hell lot faster anyways.
Theres an mini ice cream maker in the basement somewhere. You’ve got to freeze the tub the night before for it to work. Who knows the night before when they will have a hankering for some ice cream goodness?
A shaved ice maker. Its suppose to be for snowcones for the kids but it makes great daquries. But I’ve been busy having babies the last year so it hasn’t gotten any use in a while.
Hubbys got an electric pocket sandwich maker from the 80’s. He drags it out once a year to make a pizza sandwich with it. Who the heck eats pizza on whole wheat bread? If I want pizza in a pocket thats what they make hot pockets for.
Oh, the only group I regret never seeing was called Atomic Rooster. But I did get to see 1/3rd of the group when I saw ELP back in the 70’s. Just, thinking, if Hendrix hadn’t died, ELP would have been called HELP. Oh, just a tidbit of info that Hendrix was ready to sign with ELP before his death. Still in dispute as to the validity, but he did do a couple jams session with them, before his untimely drug OD.
I saw Led Zeppelin in 1973 at the Pittsburgh Civic Arena. So there.
The Tubes still put on one of the best shows ever! My husband and I see them every time they come to the area!
The Talking Heads
You gotta start using paper towels. I’ve noticed with Kleenex or any other “facial tissue” that I sneeze more when I use them. It’s because the tissue has very fine fibers that come off and get inhaled when you blow into them. Paper towels don’t do that, plus they catch the junk from your nose better. A little rougher, yes, but worth it considering you have to purge less with them.
Or you could use washable handkerchiefs, which I also do. They work very well, especially for a prolonged allergy attack.
Don’t buy a sandwich maker new. Just hit a yard sale and you can buy 10 for a dollar.
We have a giant George Forman grill that we didn’t use for a year or more. Then my wife came up with the idea of making giant grilled sanwiches on it. Now it stays on the countertop and she uses it once a week or more.
I had some beer strange beer with my brother in Texas recently. It was generic beer. A white can with the word “BEER” written on the side of it. He said it cost about $9 a case.
Just saw Tom Petty at the American Airlines Center in Dallas last month-that dude still ROCKS-he made me wait until the very end of the last encore to hear American Girl, bastard…..
OK…So this is my first post ever and I feel as if the world might enjoy my two cents….
Words that make me crazy – “sick” in place of “cool”…as in Man that party was so sick..i had a great time…uugg drives me nuts.
Kitchen Gadgets – a wire whisk…I’m from the south…we use forks to whisk eggs etc…funny thing is we have 4 of them…WTF???
Concerts I Missed – Pink Floyd and Alice In Chains (original members)
Tiff,
I have something in the kitchen that’s used to froth milk (I think) and it could easily be mistaken for a sex toy. It’s hardly ever used – as a milk frother, I mean.
Plus we have a giant red vibrator in the kitchen drawer. My mother-in-law found it in the living room and the best my wife could come up with was, “it’s a rolling pin.” Why does it buzz like that? “To work the air bubbles out of the dough.”
A local brewpub had a “Watermelon Ale” last summer that I included on a paddle sampler. It was not good. The watermelon, I mean. The paddle sampler is a high point of human achievement.
I wish I had seen the Pixies in their original incarnation. I had no interest in attending the recent reunion tour. Similarly, I never saw Frank Zappa, but am not compelled by the Dweezil or Ike Willis-led groups.
On an odd note, I wish I had seen the over-the-top cabaret singer Bobby Short. There’s an American original for you.
I would also love to be able to go back in time and see Billy Joel’s Attila.
Also, if a Gobbler is anywhere in the “Thanksgiving-dinner-on-a-bun” category, that is one of my Holy Grail sandwiches, right up there with a good tuna melt, a good chicken shawerma, and the Chacarero.
Rusty, I do envy you – LZ in PIT in 73.
Not one of my favorite years – 1973.
Recommended: Australian Pink Floyd – awesome & dead on.
My wife uses our George Foreman for everything from salmon steaks to grilled cheese sandwiches. Very handy.
Today’s quote: “In the beginning, God created idiots; that was just for practice. Then He created school boards.” Mark Twain
Jeff, Wreckless Eric is playing in Philly on September 26!
My sister had some Pete’s Wicked Strawberry Blonde Ale at a party that I accidentally drank and I liked it – although I don’t like beer usually so that may be why.
I actually saw Amy Winehouse live in Philly last year and I’m so glad I did because she will definitely be dead soon. Who did I wish I saw ? Nirvana of course