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Big Snow, Public Houses, and Brockly

February 25, 2010 By Jeff 75 Comments

It’s snowing like a fancy bastard up here.  Supposedly we could receive up to twenty inches of the stuff before it’s over.  Twenty inches!  And to add to the fun, the wind is starting to get cranked-up, and the electric company is doing damage control on the front-end, and telling everyone their power could very well shit the bed.

Fantastic!  I don’t really mind the snow, but I’m not really a fan of the no-electricity scenario.  What will we do, read by candlelight like Bucktoothed Scout on the Prairie, or whatever?  Will I have to write these updates with coal on the back of a shovel, like Abraham Lincoln?

I can’t have that.

Yeah, everybody’s home today, because of the weather, so it’s fairly “active” in here.  And Toney wants to clear the driveway at exactly 3 o’clock (I’m sure she has her reasons), so I’m going to have to keep this one brief.  Chaos reigns at the compound.

A couple of weeks ago Surf Reporter Grady sent me an email, asking for advice on pubs and beers in London.  I could’ve sent him 10,000 words on the subject, but restrained myself and sent him a few brief and highly biased opinions.

And now he’s sent me two Smoking Fish sightings, inside one of my recommended pubs and alongside one of my recommended beers.  Check it out.  Very cool.

I wanna go back to London, I really do.  And this only fires me up more.  We’ve got to make it happen; it was our Best Vacation Ever.

Thanks Grady!  I hope you guys had as much fun there as we did.

And now I’d like to ask you guys for your help with something.  A few days ago I was having a two-second spelling crisis, with the word broccoli.  For some reason I kept wanting to give it one C and two Ls, instead of the other way around.  I realized it was wrong straigh’ away, but it made me wonder…

Why does it have to be so complicated?  Why couldn’t it just be spelled brockly?  That’s the way most of us pronounce it, so why not just make it easier on everyone and change the spelling to something more logical?

In fact, we should do a full inventory of our commonly-used words, and adjust the spelling where necessary.  What do you think?  Are you with me on this?!

Good.  I’ll start the ball rolling with a few off the top of my tiny Duke head, and you guys can take it from there.  And here they are:

  • brockly
  • tenna shoes
  • Wenzday
  • wot?

Now it’s your turn.  Please join me in straightening out this English language mess, won’t you?  Use the comments link below.

And I’ll see you guys next time, whenever that happens to be.  Holy crap in a Bundt pan!  It’s snowing on an uphill slant out there!!

Have a great day, boys and girls.

Now playing in the bunker

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Comments

  1. immortaldebra says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    Ohio Edison/First Energy (where I work) are sending electricity help tomorrow morning in anticipation of your needs. Hopefully you won’t be one of the people who lose thier power in this new storm. We are the people that everyone loves to hate…but the guys put their lives on the line every day to keep your power on! Be nice to them!

    Reply
  2. The Misty says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    blony (bologna) 🙂

    Reply
  3. Debra says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    the company I work for (First Energy) is sending linemen and engineers to your AREA TOMORROW MORNING. Hopefully you wont have to live without electricity and stay warm. The weather guys might be wrong! Be nice to your electrical workers…they are there for you!

    Reply
  4. debra says

    February 25, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    wendsday
    tung
    the ei rule sucks i after e except after c …..not always…….why?
    Febuary
    coming……. why is the m not doubled?
    why isn’t the past tense of shit not shat?

    Reply
  5. Brynhildr says

    February 26, 2010 at 3:27 am

    Debra — depending on where you live, “shat” is indeed the past tense of “shit”

    Reply
  6. t-storm says

    February 26, 2010 at 3:37 am

    in college i made out/went down on a girl nick named broccoli. is that relevant?

    i fuck up tomorrow and shoe. but that’s probably because of a latent fantasy about the non chimp star of Link.

    Reply
  7. Limey says

    February 26, 2010 at 7:12 am

    Why not get rid of all homonyms too? A significant proportion of the populations seem to be doing so already, don’t swim against the flow.

    hear/here
    heal/heel
    brakes/breaks
    they’re/their/there

    Just pick one and go with it at all times. When u torque out loud we all here it the same any weigh.

    Reply
  8. Ian the Errolite says

    February 26, 2010 at 7:54 am

    More snow fell here yesterday than anywhere else on the planet.
    Its nearly up to my kilt!!

    Guys, if I spelled the way I spoke, you’d be screwed, and I’d be wasting my time! (yesh i wood!)

    Worcestershire= wooster. eg. ‘wooster sos’.

    Reply
  9. Son Of Sam says

    February 26, 2010 at 8:53 am

    I went to see Eric Clapton last night..Wow what a show.

    Reply
  10. Uncle_wedgie says

    February 26, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    @Jorge congratulations on the job. Is it by chance at the foundation for the adoption of brief posts?

    Reply
  11. Jason says

    February 26, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Words that can be spelled with one letter should be:
    be or bee or bea – B
    see or sea – C
    I or eye – I
    in – N
    oh – O
    pee or pea – P
    que or cue – Q
    are – R
    tea – T
    you or ewe – U
    ex – X
    why – Y

    you or ewe – U

    Reply
  12. SkullyWV says

    February 26, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    Did anbudee git funetik?

    Reply
  13. Jill says

    February 26, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Treh-in (capital of NJ)
    Feb-yoo-ary
    flem
    baloney
    shaw (strip of sand along the Atlantic, usually heard after “down the”)
    cawfy

    Ok I think I am revealing too much of a Gawd-awful regional aksent so I will stop now.

    Reply
  14. dto says

    February 26, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Jason…you missed…K for Kay…..mmmk?

    Reply
  15. t-storm says

    February 26, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    Don’t you hate it when people leave the “r” off of Warshington?

    Reply
  16. Gretchen says

    February 26, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    Go pound sand down the shaw, Jill! I like the way I tawk!! 😉

    Reply
  17. Chuck says

    February 26, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Oreegone
    Newculer

    Oh, and all that damn texting abbrev.

    Reply
  18. T. Farty McAppleass says

    February 27, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Did y’all = Jaw
    Do what? = Dwut?
    Fifth and Filth = Fif
    Pussy = Cunt

    Reply
  19. dto says

    February 27, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    suenommy

    Reply
  20. greg t says

    February 28, 2010 at 7:50 am

    Must a git snowed in down there in the perogie belt. eh!! Jew loose powah aslo??

    Reply
  21. PAmike says

    February 28, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Foster: All right meow, where were we?

    Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?

    Foster: Am I saying meow?

    Reply
  22. jeff_in_SW_Ontario says

    March 1, 2010 at 12:57 am

    All of your base are belong to us.
    No accent = Canadian.

    Reply
  23. hot fuzz says

    March 1, 2010 at 10:01 am

    Is it likely because Canadians don’t want to offend anyone that they are accent free ? IE just ANOTHER reason to say “Sorry..”.

    Everyone pretty much west of Quebec sounds the same don’t they? Sort of like Californians but with the occasional “eh” and “sorry” here and there?

    Reply
  24. icecycle66 says

    March 1, 2010 at 10:40 am

    O yeauh, nu web site…klik my naam.

    Enuff uv this, it is reedickyouluss. Nun of this makes any sents. Wurds git all jumbld and not enuff vowels are used sumtimes. Uther times rools of lanwuj syntax go owt the window. How the hell am I suhpost to no what the dam anybudy is sayin.

    Wut do u want to du next kansl krismus? How the hell do yu spel this sine “?”. Kweschtion mark? Shwastika? Wut!?

    All I wanted wuz a pee-nut butter sandwitch. And sum guy grabbed mi bawlz.

    Reply
  25. Gretchen says

    March 1, 2010 at 10:56 am

    We’re slowly devolving into LOLhillbilly. Hurry up with that update, Jeff!

    Reply
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