I explain it all in the most recent episode of the podcast, but I’ve done a lot of soul-searching, my friends, and decided to take the monumental step of flip-flopping Summer and Winter in the seasonal ranking chart. Oh, this is big. The rankings have remained static for many decades. Until now. I hope this doesn’t cause any emotional breakdowns or crises of belief. The two main changes that have forced me to take such a monumental step:
- My return to baseball. I was obsessed as a youngling, and young adult. But I drifted during the raising-a-family/paying-the-bills years. I’m still in those years, of course, but the pressure isn’t as intense as it once was. Over the past five years or so I attempted to get back into the sport that meant so much to me, and it didn’t take, for some reason. But the most recent attempt did the trick and — I never would’ve predicted it — I’m as obsessed as I was when I was 13 or 14. The sweet sickness is back! And since baseball takes place mostly in summer, how could I rank that season dead-last? Even though I hate the heat and humidity and the goddamn bugs? It’s a difficult thing to reconcile.
- Also, over those same five years or so I’ve grown more and more concerned about slick roads during the winter, and making the big 36-mile trek home from work during yet another Northeastern Pennsylvania “snow event.” I never loved it, but now I dread it. It causes me anxiety, ’cause I’ve been burned so many times. I mean, I’ve been forced to abandon my car multiple times and was trapped on Interstate 81 for hours just last winter. And I can’t have that. I used to just roll with it and take it as it comes. But now, for whatever reason, I fear it somewhat. Oh, it’s not debilitating. It’s nothing like that. But it’s certainly unpleasant. It sucks for sure. In the podcast, I describe driving home during those storms with a sphincter so tight you couldn’t feed an uncooked strand of spaghetti through there. As Iggy would put it, no fun.
There are other small reasons, but those are the two main ones that forced my hand. So, there’s a new ranking! I know it’s a lot to take in. I apologize for the upset this announcement might have caused.
Have your seasonal rankings ever changed? I can see it maybe being adjusted after moving to a different area o’ the country or world. But mine was a little different. What are your thoughts on this important matter? How do you rank ’em? Bring us up to date on it.
And I’ll see you guys again soon.
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Move on down south and it’ll be Spring, Fall, Winter, Summer.
I’m mixed between summer and winter as being my least favorite season. Summers are amazing temperature-wise in the Willamette Valley in Oregon; seriously the most beautiful, mild summers I’ve ever experienced. However, in Portland, that means all the homeless come up from California when it gets too hot. Also, everyone and their brother and second cousin visits during this time of year, thanks to that awful IFC show that broadcast our once-amazing town to the world.
Winter sucks here too, mainly that the already terrible drivers don’t know how to navigate it. It doesn’t snow every year, but when it does, the whole city shuts down. To be fair, I hate winter driving and it stresses me out, but the way people here way over-react is outrageous. We get a dusting and people start pillaging the local stores for bread and milk. Meanwhile, I’m sitting at home playing video games while my office cancels work for a simple prediction.
So between the two, I’m not sure. The wife and I are thinking of moving to South Carolina or Georgia for the milder weather (and numerous other reasons,) though I’ve heard it gets humid as shit in the summer. After living in New York and Missouri though, I think I can handle it.
I got an ad on this page for RSVP Gay Cruises (at sea). Never heard of them before. Could be all the tight sphincter reporting that caused that? Seems like some fun could be had (not on a gay cruise, not that there’s anything wrong with that) with ad triggering keywords in future…
The decision tree on where to live (absent other considerations like population density, economy, culture, family, etc.) starts with how many seasons you want to experience, how extreme you want those seasons to be, the commute options available (bus, rail, subway, freeway, surface streets, bicycle etc.), and whether heat or cold — dry or wet pisses you off more. Valmont, above (if that’s your real name) lives in a four season marine mild climate with low humidity and urban overcrowding with above average mass transit options and a culture that welcomes bike traffic. Most everybody thinks they live in an SMSA with the worst drivers in the world, but with regard to traffic, geography plays a larger role than culture (e.g., Portland is bisected by a river; Seattle is squeezed between fresh water and salt water, etc.).
I don’t give a rat’s ass about ranking seasons. My idea is to live in a place with four seasons that doesn’t have an intolerable season and, especially when I was younger, a place in which one can play golf eight months a year without boiling or freezing. My biggest personal enemy has always been humidity. You can live south of Virginia only if you don’t mind being hot and soggy most of the year or if you don’t perspire, which is one sign that death has set in.
So I live in a place with a below-average economy, but with four seasons, none of which sucks. Summer is warm (not hot) and dry; fall is a little damp and cool (but not cold), winter is cold enough to kill common pests and have a few days of snow (but not so horrible that you can’t play golf once a month or more), and spring is damp and moderate with quite a few golfing days. None of the seasons has high humidity, and the annual precip is about 20% less than Myrtle Beach, but wet enough to keep everything green. Traffic is moderate, and drivers are pretty courteous. Mass transit options are limited and bicycles are tolerated.
Local (1-5 day) vacation options are bountiful and beautiful, so no need to go away on one of Jeff’s expensive gay cruises, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
So I’m staying here.
John
1. Summer – I have no problem with heat or humidity (and yes JTB, I do sweat, lol) and I’ll be going from the Jersey shore to the North Myrtle Beach area soon, both with the same sauna-like summers. I’ve golfed in 100 degree weather before and had the added bonus of a near-empty course to play
2. Fall – If not for deciduous trees dropping their leaves for me to clean up, this may have taken over the top spot. Hopefully this problem will dissipate in MB.
3. Spring – Will probably be higher when we move, but here in NJ spring is usually ridiculously rainy without a lot of “nice spring days”.
4. Not a single thing to like about sleet, snow ice and the constant threat of a treacherous commute every other day. Once again, may see a change in rankings with a change in mailing address.
Reds just added another piece to the offense, this should be a fun season.
Yes. Very exciting. It’s a four-year deal, but Castellanos has an opt-out after one? Very strange. I don’t like that part of it. But 2020 should be fun.
Sorry I’m late to the game. You can’t consider where to live without looking at natural disasters. I’ll take snowy winters over earthquakes, mudslides, wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes, droughts and flooding. Very few people have died from shoveling snow.
I’m fully in favor of the revised rankings Jeff – but i’m not sure how I feel about Fall in the #1 position. I like fall, but much like how a Sunday feels (the ominous presence of Monday approaching) – I feel the same pending doom during the latter weeks of fall as the dreaded (hated) Winter approaches. Probably because of where I live… fall is beautiful, but winter is grey, snowy, cold and generally miserable. The first few weeks of fall are great – that middle sweet spot – then… I can’t enjoy it any longer. Since it’s not a “full” season of enjoyment, I’d probably have it at #2 instead of #1.
Number 1 would go to Summer — Outdoors, BBQ, Baseball, Sunshine, easier driving, people are generally happier — yes the heat can be oppressive, but that’s why the soviets came up with those humboxes …