While waiting for my Marlene Carpenter frozen lunch to cool and congeal, I walked from room to room and made a note of the time displayed on our various clocks.
And here’s the hard-hitting report:
my nightstand: 12:04
Toney’s nightstand: 12:04
upstairs bathroom: 4:50
living room mantel: 12:07
microwave in kitchen: 12:06
downstairs bathroom: 11:26
DVR in family room: 12:08
What’s the story with clocks in baffrooms? As you can see in my extensive research, both are letting us down in a big way. I’m fairly certain the downstairs bathroom is showing 11:26 PM, and not AM. Possibly a PM from a couple of days ago.
Does the humidity of the showers play havoc with the inner workings, or something? Or maybe it’s the rich tapestry of aromas in there? I simply don’t know.
Surf Report Rule of Thumb: After researching an illness or abnormality at WedMD, you will be convinced it’s cancer. Even if the problem has something to do with ingrown toenails, or earwax.
Here are some more things that are true.
I have a feeling we’ll be having “visitors” over the coming weekend. The eBay packages are starting to pile up, and that’s an indication we’ll be seeing Eninen soon, very soon.
Some people can predict weather via joint pain, but I can predict Nossy in our living room by the number of UPS trucks that have visited our home recently.
It’s all LEGO, and at least semi-expensive. Nancy spends tons of money on that crap, and all of it comes here — to avoid postage costs to Canada. We’re Nancy’s personal LEGO mail-drop.
I’m thinking the wind-up car will be pulling into our driveway on Saturday afternoon. We’ll see how good of a predictor I am… Pass the yogurt balls.
I recently downloaded this obscure Matthew Sweet album at eMusic, and have been playing it semi-continuously ever since.
It was originally released as a “gift” to his loyal Japanese fans, but I think it finally made it to U.S. record stores as well. In any case, it’s power pop perfection, and I’m loving it.
I also grabbed this old fave, a few days ago. Oh yeah.
Now I have a follow-up to a story that dates all the way back to 2002… Sometimes it takes a while, but we usually get to the bottom of things around here.
Back in the early days of this site I mentioned in passing that I’d encountered Wendy’s restaurants in the South, with the “Wendy” on the signage adjusted to match local demographics. In short: I’d seen several black Wendys.
I can’t remember all the details, but think some of you challenged my memory or truthfulness, and said it couldn’t possibly be true. I ended up writing Wendy’s corporate about it, and received a reply — denying everything, of course.
Well, check this out: Black Wendy is NOT a myth! CitizenX has brought the proof, and it sure doesn’t look ‘shopped to me. And so, seven years later, I told you so.
Ahhh, that feels so good….
Today’s my Friday, and the big outsize weekend will begin at 1:30 AM. Or, as the upstairs bathroom calls it, 7:48. Oh, there’s electricity in the air, my friends.
I’ll leave you now with a simple Question of the Day. Have you ever known a Brian? If so, tell us about him. Use the comments section to let loose of all your pent-up Brian emotions. Do you like your Brian(s), or is he irritating in some way? We need to get a handle on it, and quick.
And that’s all I have time for today, boys and girls.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
Um, Jeff, you think you could delete the part about Bryan and Willow? I think I made a tactical error.
lori lucinda says
I worked with a Brian until a couple of weeks ago, he was the best coworker ever, and I miss him dearly.
Twisted, very twisted.
I went to school with a Brian, his last name was Crommy however we later found out the truth, his older sisters had altered the spelling of the last name when they went to school, it was actually Crummy…..his brother gave the funniest best man speech at his wedding, all about a crummy sister-in-law, crummy family..etc etc ahh good times..
Three Brians: all douchebags and assholes.
One Bryan: my best frind in first grade, an only child raised by a single mother, went to the West Coast, found out he was gay.
I have just emailed the people at Snopes.com to find out if this “Black Wendy” business is in fact true. They will get to the bottom of this and I will in turn pass the information on to all of you.
I grew up with a Brian (guess which one he is on my cast of characters)
and I know a Bryan here in town. We are both members of an organization.
I have two cousins named Brian (both big drinkers and big executives) and I once had a crush on a guy named Brian (when I was around 11 years old).
I think that covers it.
we are a wonderful people; brians. we come from far and wide, often spelled a little differently but with an intent their parents believed to be humble, average people and also fun.
we were usually born in the late 60’s to odd 70’s and are usually very easy to laugh with or at, we usually don’t care much. we work hard and enjoy the finer things in life like good food, music and West Virginia Surf Report.
we are indigenous to the land of GA but famous ones have been seen in CA. they have various jobs including family pet, producer, and social services provider. beyond that we a lot like Jacobs.
…and oh yeah we love mac, radiohead and Obama
Knew Brian #1 in high school. He wasn’t much of a talker, but whenever he did open his mouth, it was to mutter something sarcastic and rude under his breath. If he hadn’t had severe acne, he might have been the man of my dreams.
Bryan #2 was from the summer after senior year before I took off for college. I had a major crush on him and hung out with him daily, just hoping to get in his pants. Turns out he was gay and not yet out. My gaydar eventually got tuned to the proper frequency, and I haven’t made the same mistake since.
Brian #3 was a guy I “dated” briefly, and by that I mean that we agreed that our relationship would be for sex only (and maybe a few beers now and then after I had been out with my friends). If either one wanted to sleep with someone else, the deal was off, no hard feelings, have a nice life. When I went away on business for a month, he totally broke the rules of the agreement — he got attached, called me daily, begged me to come back early. Couldn’t handle that so I ended it. In retrospect, I think I was the bigger douche. I’m older, wiser, and alas still single. Karma.
btw – Black Wendy DOES exist. She lives in Northern California and wears her bright red polyester weave on a regular basis, though not always in braids. Frequently spotted in the supermarket or nail salon down the street. I kid you not.
i know a gay couple: bryan and brian (not kidding) brYan is the female of the couple (duh)
Phantom Rail-something-or-other (i’m too lazy to scroll up) – I’m going to YouTube right now for the Sandwich Sam video…
is that the one that goes White, Red and GREEEEEEEN? I still get that damn song stuck in my head 13 years later.
You have to look under Wendy’s Training Video. I’m going to watch some, even though I never worked at Wendy’s.
My brother is a Brian, and he’s getting triple coronary bypass next week. So I would say it sucks to be a Brian right now. The only other Brian I know spells his name with a “y” instead of an “i” and he’s a philandering prick who screwed around on his wife and left her when their son was itty bitty. Not sure if that’s because he was a “Bryan” or not.
used to work at place that got trustees from one of the west virginia regional jails as work release
had daily crew of 3
there usually was a brian on most crews
90% of the brians were super hard workers, union carpenders, masons, even schoolteachers
all were doing time for drunk driving, and wanted to join damm, drunks against madd mothers
all had unique sence of humor
all of them i would tell to drop in on me anytime, at my home , were super nice people
on the other hand if got a guy named pat, all of them except 1 were useless and couldnt wait to get rid of them
Phantom Railfan says
I don’t know if snadwich Sam is on youtube or not, but it was indeed the “White Red. AND GREEN!” one.
I think the GrillSkill video is the weirder of the two. I mean, the hamburger patties RAP at one point! Awesome…
The way they cook those hamburger patties, smashing all of the juice outta them, is absurd.
You’re right, Phantom Railfan – the singing patties are pretty amazing.
I think the white red AND GREEN song stuck with me though because I spent the bulk of my employment on sandwiches. Everything went so fast, and I was really nervous and my boss was standing over me, so I just kept repeating it in my head.
May I suggest that anyone who is extremely OCD about how their sandwiches are assembled NOT work in fast food. There’s simply not enough time to make them all perfect, evenly space the pickles, pick the perfect piece of lettuce, and wrap it without wrinkling the foil. I was on the verge of needing therapy. again.
Jason, even more absurd than that is Dave Thomas’ speech impedement.
@ Brandy: Shouldn’t that be CDO? You know…since it’s in “order” now…
Hal F. Wit says
Things I keep in my pocket for good luck. TSA has a field day with this at the airport:
David B says
Just read “mockable” and I’ll bet they put you up at the Oakwoods on Barham…I saw herds of deer there and couldn’t believe it.
I went out with a Brian once. Briefly. He had a premature ejaculation problem. The first time I noticed we were just making out and I was like “what’s wet?”. We could have worked through that but I just wasn’t that into him anyway.
bennigan's nazi says
Do they serve fried chicken and biscuits at the black wendy’s? Watermelon frosties?
The Brian I know is an ass.... says
Love, love, love the black Wendy’s. As a resident of the South (AL-Represent!) I will keep a lookout for further proof of this anomoly.
The one Brian I know is a complete ass 99.9% of the time. His attempts to be nice are thinly veiled with self absorbtion.
I met Matthew Sweet back in the 9-7 and he is a fantastic guy and wonderful musician. 🙂
I am a few days behind here — I have a few comments before I read the comments (sorry).
1-Wendy is NOT black. She is TAN! We have no pasty whiteness in FL.
2- Why in God’s name would anyone put a clock in the Bathroom? Are you timing your shits or your showers? Is this where folks hide the fugly wedding gift clocks??
3- Love Mathew Sweet. He’s 100% fun.
4-reading comments now.
I’m Brian and so is my wife!
OK I was wrong, one armed Brian was really Craig. My error. He smelled funny cuz he peed his pants. Unrelated to being one armed.
Gale Sayers says
I roomed and fudged a Brian back in the day when we played for coach Halas.
“roomed and fudged a Brian”
Drug Delivery Guy says
That’s just cold Gale.
Oral Roberts says
did you play Brian’s piccalo?