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Back Crackers, Pretentious Pronouncers, and Movie Repeaters

December 29, 2011 By Jeff 106 Comments

I was talking with a guy at work a few days ago, and he mentioned that his son and daughter have been watching the Jim Carrey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas repeatedly, for weeks on end.  I groaned at the mere thought of such torture, and said, “Wonder why kids like to watch the same things, over and over again?  Mine used to do it, too.”

He shrugged, and said, “We were no different.  When I was young I watched Ace Ventura a million times.  I still know every word of dialogue from that thing.  I’m sure you were the same, right?”

And I said, “No.  Because when I was a kid the technology didn’t exist to let people watch the same movie, repeatedly.  We had TVs that weighed as much as a car, but with 19-inch screens.  And they received five channels – the three networks, PBS, and Channel 4 from Oak Hill.  You had to watch whatever was on, and if you missed it, you missed it.  You actually had to get up from your chair and turn a knob that clicked and clacked, to change the station.  And whenever someone would appear on the screen in a striped shirt, there would be a terrifying buzzing noise.

“Cable eventually came along, when I was in Junior High, and HBO showed Car Wash and Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox twenty times per week.  The station would come on at 3 o’clock in the afternoon, I think, and we’d sit there at 2:55 waiting for the magic to happen.  Car Wash again in five minutes!  And later this week, Mother, Jugs, and Speed!!

“When VCRs were invented they cost a thousand dollars, and people thought they were voodoo black magic.  My brother bought one when he graduated from high school, and I think you had to run a water line to it.  When you hit the power button, all the lights in the house would dim for a second or two, and blank tapes cost about ten dollars each.  But it was such a novelty, we’d record ANYTHING, play it back, and nearly shit ourselves with excitement.  We’d record two minutes of the local news, watch it again, and clap and holler like retards at a puppet show.

“Also, Ace Ventura came out when I was in my early 30s.”

The dude looked at me with a “holy fuck” expression, said, “Yeah?” and continued with his tuna salad sandwich.  And next week he’ll sit at a different table.  Oh, I’ve been here before.

And you know what irritates me?  People who do that torso-twist back-cracking thing.  Also, the ones who take the heel of their hand, put it underneath their chin, and crank their head to the side, to crack their neck.  Is that really necessary?  I’ve never purposely cracked my back or neck, and believe I’ve been able to lead a semi-normal life.

It’s like Chapstick, I think.  And hand lotion.  Once you get started, there’s no turning back.  You need it, and you’re suddenly a prisoner.  Our kids crack their knuckles all the time, and I’m always hollering in protest.  Sometimes they even crack their toes, and I fear they’re only a few short months away from a full torso-twist, and that disturbing glockenspiel sound.  I will attempt to stop it from happening, by yelling and sighing a lot.  It’s my duty as a parent.

And you know what else I don’t like?  There’s a local radio commercial, in which the name Toyota is pronounced “Tie-ota.”  It bothers me.  I know somebody will probably say, “Well… technically “Tie-ota” is correct…”  And I don’t give a shit what’s technically correct.  Our society has decided it’s pronounced “Toy-ota,” so get with the program, dicklips.

It’s along the same lines as people who roll their Rs when they’re saying a Spanish name.  Like “Puerrrrto Rrrrico.”  Oh brother.  Whenever I hear someone doing all that pretentious letter-rolling, I jump to many conclusions.  And all of them are related, or semi-related, to the douchebag.

When we lived in Atlanta there was a radio commercial for a chain of convenience stores, advertising their “cap-you-chino.”  This also made me crazy, but it turns out they did it on purpose.  It caused us to notice the ads, and talk about them.  People were constantly saying, “Have you heard the QuikTrip commercial about cap-you-chino??”  It was genius, and I grew to appreciate it on an unexpected level.

But somehow I doubt the Tie-ota guy is anywhere near as clever.  No, I suspect he’s just one of those assholes who like to show how educated and cultured they are.  He probably says Pocky-stahn, too.  Grrr…

It’s been a few weeks since we’ve taken a poll, and I’d love to know what’s been irritating you.  Please use the comments link below, to bring us up to date on it.  They say a week is forever in politics, and I believe the same can be said for agitation.  Every day something new comes along…  So, please tell us all about it.

And I’ll be back on Monday, or maybe Sunday.  We’ll see how it goes.

Have a great weekend, my friends.

Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself at Amazon: US and Canada

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Comments

  1. zoe whistle dick says

    December 29, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Foist!

    Reply
    • Uncle_Wedgie says

      December 30, 2011 at 3:03 pm

      1B

      Reply
  2. STLSteve says

    December 29, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Second! I’m still sick of people saying “REALLY?” to stuff, even though it’s slightly out of fashion now.

    Reply
  3. Joe T. says

    December 29, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    I’m sick of Canadians calling pasta “pass-tuh.” I saw it on TV last night.

    Reply
    • Not Oprah says

      December 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm

      Can’t stop myself from saying that now…. Sounds like a show worth watching.

      Reply
    • hot fuzz says

      December 30, 2011 at 10:10 pm

      How else do you pronounce it?

      Reply
      • Not Oprah says

        December 31, 2011 at 12:59 am

        On the edge of my seat….

        Reply
        • hot fuzz says

          December 31, 2011 at 12:10 pm

          maybe it’s poss-tuh?? I guess we add this to “aboot” which I have never in my life heard someone say…sigh…

          Reply
  4. Good2go says

    December 29, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    Cars with the red nose and antlers bug the shit out of me.

    Reply
    • Erin says

      December 29, 2011 at 5:05 pm

      I HATE car decorators!! How much holiday spirit can one person possibly have, and why must I be forced to wait behind it at a stoplight?

      Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      December 29, 2011 at 5:56 pm

      I thought it was just me. I hate that. You drive a $45,000 Lexus SUV and you do THAT to it? Idiots.

      Reply
  5. WB in OH says

    December 29, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Just reading about back/neck cracking sends me into a full torso twist followed by rotating my neck from side to side.

    Years ago I went with a friend a few times to the drag races in Muncie, Indiana. The announcer would periodically hawk the concession stand. It always ended with “and don’t forget about the world famous Muncie Dragway nacho’s with jap-a-leano peppers”. First time I figured he was a jack off who didn’t know how to pronounce it, after the second and third trip there I realized he thought he was a comedian.

    What’s currently pissing me off? I’m good right now, looking forward to fucking up the date on a few checks.

    Reply
    • tracy in ohio says

      January 2, 2012 at 5:09 pm

      A manager at an old job pronounced them ja-lap-enos. Drove me crazy. She said it several times a day since we worked in a deli.

      Reply
  6. Tipsey McChugney says

    December 29, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    Callin’ Oates is bugging the living heck out of me. I mean, what the heck?!?

    Reply
  7. Alex says

    December 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    The firsters still bug the piss outta me when they don’t take the time to make topical comments to go with it….

    People who don’t have good tire for snow season. Buy some tires and get the fuck outta my way…

    Reply
  8. bikerchick says

    December 29, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    Excellent update, Jeff! You’re on a roll today!

    Speaking of “car decorator’s”… We went to Kohl’s the day after Christmas. Walking through the parking lot, I noticed that someone had a “bouquet” of white poinsettia’s duct taped to their car’s antenna. It was about 6 feet in the air. How ridiculous. I said to my boyfriend, “betcha it’s still there in July.”

    We had a car commercial going on around here (Pittsburgh) in which the announcer couldn’t even pronounce the word “Toyota”. And he was supposedly the owner/manager of the dealership. He kept saying “Toida”. “Come see our Toida’s.” “Drive a Toida today”… At first I thought he was saying “toidy” as in “toilet”. I was caught off guard the first time I heard it and couldn’t figure out why anyone would want to “test drive a TOILET”.

    Reply
  9. Griff says

    December 29, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    Idiotic First posters, Twitter/FB users who end their “witty” posts with “LOL!”, Loud Chewers, your/you’re there/they’re/their misusers, youth ministers. Really just a list of your typical douche-nozzles.

    Reply
    • m says

      December 29, 2011 at 7:25 pm

      Youth ministers? I thought that was just me.

      Reply
      • Some Guy on the Innernets says

        December 29, 2011 at 9:33 pm

        Youth Ministers! Yeesh! What twits.

        Reply
        • Griff says

          December 30, 2011 at 1:28 pm

          Youth Ministers give me the creeps. Anyone who spends that much time outside of their own peer group wants to touch a bald wiener.

          Reply
  10. Bill in WV says

    December 29, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    TV Networks that don’t show programming that their titles imply raises my blood pressure to record levels. For instance, why the hell is Extreme Home Makeover shown repeatedly on TV Land? MTV never shows any videos anymore, except for like 3:00 in the morning. And, it seems like every freaking channel has become “The Reality Network”. A&E, History, Travel, you name it. AMC (American Movie Classics) showing movies that are less than 5 years old. Booooolshit.

    Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      December 29, 2011 at 5:58 pm

      Jim Gaffigan had a great line about that this morning:

      Seems like cable channels are moments away from just using people’s vacation footage as television programming.

      Reply
      • Jason says

        December 31, 2011 at 12:57 pm

        The travel channel (I think it’s the travel channel) has become the gambling channel. Who the fuck sits there and watches other men play cards on TV?

        Reply
  11. Patty says

    December 29, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    Lately every time someone says “seriously” I want to punch them in the throat

    Reply
    • Kevindust says

      December 30, 2011 at 12:18 pm

      Seriously?

      Reply
      • hot fuzz says

        December 30, 2011 at 10:28 pm

        Hey Kevin – you getting the freezing rain yet? How ’bout you Alex??

        Nice little NY weekend gift from Mother nature.

        Reply
  12. zoe whistle dick says

    December 29, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    Ah man. I’m hardly ever first but today my lurking paid off and what happened? I pissed off a bunch of people. Well, two.

    Reply
    • CADude says

      December 29, 2011 at 6:27 pm

      Nah. A bunch.

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        December 29, 2011 at 7:09 pm

        Dude, thank the Lord I’m not alone in understanding the difference between being pissed off at trivial shit and being a genuine curmudgeon. It’s an art, and you honor it. Thanks.

        john

        Reply
    • Alex says

      December 30, 2011 at 9:40 am

      I just feel that one should take the time to read the update FIRST 😉 and make a comment related to the update rather than simply stating the obvious and buggering off.

      Reply
      • hot fuzz says

        December 30, 2011 at 10:24 pm

        Because there ARE RULES DAMMIT!!!

        Reply
  13. jim britton says

    December 29, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    I have to disagree with Jeff’s aversion to Chap Stick.
    In the wintertime I need to use chapstick & welding goggle like sunglasses to get me through the 2 hours of sunlight.
    At the moment auto drivers who tailgate are annoying me.

    Reply
    • SeanInSac says

      December 29, 2011 at 6:28 pm

      don’t worry I think Jeff has spent most of his adult life working soft, indoor jobs. He wouldn’t be so quick to judge chapstick and lotion if he had to work outdoors in extreme weather conditions…Love ya Jeff 🙂

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        December 29, 2011 at 7:18 pm

        It’s Chapstick. One word, capitalized. Jeff might work inside, but he knows how to spell Chapstick.

        jtb

        Reply
        • Some Guy on the Innernets says

          December 29, 2011 at 9:37 pm

          Get some Carmex, and stop bitching. It works fast and you only need it now and then. You know, like Advil or Tequila.

          Reply
          • Chuck in Belpre says

            December 30, 2011 at 5:01 pm

            I always loved it when Carson did that character.

            Reply
      • WB in OH says

        December 30, 2011 at 5:20 pm

        I work a cush job and use chapStick all the time. My lips would look like rough sawn lumber without it in the wintertime. I think I may have put the capital letter in the wrong spot.

        Reply
    • Tipsey McChugney says

      December 30, 2011 at 6:38 pm

      no no no

      You’ve all got it wrong: It is ChapStick

      InterCapped

      Reply
      • chill says

        December 30, 2011 at 8:46 pm

        Programmers call it ‘camel case’ because the letters go upAndDown like a camel’s hump. Although maybe it should be called dromedary case.
        .

        Reply
        • hot fuzz says

          December 30, 2011 at 10:21 pm

          s/b Joe Dromedary, amirite?

          Reply
          • johnthebasket says

            December 30, 2011 at 11:14 pm

            I think it’s perfectly OK to spell it chapStick as long as you put the emphasis on the second syllable, and also OK to spell it chapstick if you’re k. d. lang.

            jtb

            Reply
            • hot fuzz says

              December 30, 2011 at 11:55 pm

              That would be putting the emPHAsis on the second sylABLE???

              Reply
  14. CADude says

    December 29, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    For some reason I was particularly annoyed this Christmas by people who sent out Christmas cards adorned with pictures of their kids.

    Yeah, so the two of you fucked, and she got pregnant, and the kids are growing up. Is that all you’ve got?

    And the Christmas Letters? Don’t get me started. OK, so I’ve started. How about some dirt, instead of all the fluff? I just know that the “gifted artist” teenager you’re drooling about got caught smoking weed before school, and that you had to pay for the abortion when your “star athlete” got the cheerleader pregnant. Tell us about THAT, and we’ll give a fuck.

    Grrrrrrr. Is it cocktail hour yet?

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      December 29, 2011 at 7:12 pm

      idem

      Reply
  15. Theresa says

    December 29, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    omg my husband does the torso twist back crack and it makes me want to pull my hair out i cant stand it, now before he does it, he will tell me to cover my ears first. but im guilty of watching the same movie 20 times, i actually watched the grinch and elf all the times it came on abc family this christmas lol

    Reply
    • bikerchick says

      December 30, 2011 at 9:33 am

      I am another guilty party of watching the same movie a million times over. My boyfriend gets so frustrated. He’ll flip through the cannels (because he has control over the remote…always) and I’ll see “one of my favorite” movies. And I get “forget it” or sent to the bedroom to watch it.

      If I’m tired and can’t sleep, I’ll put on a movie I’ve seen a hundred times because I won’t be interested enough to stay away and watch it. If it’s something I’ve never seen and it catches my interest, I’d be up all night.

      Reply
      • hot fuzz says

        December 31, 2011 at 12:13 pm

        Your second paragraph…I can somehow hear Lady Antebellum singing it…

        Reply
  16. Ed says

    December 29, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    Excellent update! If tuna-salad-sandwich guy didn’t appreciate that gold, then fuck’im, it’s his loss.

    Reply
  17. johnthebasket says

    December 29, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Jeff, somebody punched your genius button today; that update flowed like a very funny river. There are a few days when I think (wrongly) “Hell, I could do that.” Today highlights the difference between the Reporters and the writer. Thanks for sharing.

    jtb

    Reply
  18. johnthebasket says

    December 29, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    Hunger, poverty and metal fatigue. What the hell are we gonna do about metal fatigue?

    jtb

    Reply
  19. m says

    December 29, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    People who say, “oh, don’t worry, he/she won’t bite” regarding their dogs. I mean, really, do they have a signed contract with said dog? Are they psychic? Has the dog had a heartfelt conversation with them about pacifism and how it applies to the canine? A consignment shop I sold with is closing permanently, and I went by with my two-year-old to pick up my final check. The owner had her yapping little mongrel there running around and barking hysterically. I stood there forever waiting on her frozen computer to unlock (I suspect too much porn-viewing) holding my terrified child while the damn thing barked and growled, and the owner kept assuring me that the dog just loved children and really just wanted to play. For all she knows the dog is really interested in tasting toddler flesh for the first time. And she kept asking my son why he didn’t like dogs. Because yours is acting like a miniature Cujo, and his pet experience is an elderly cat who follows him around but rarely initiates contact. Idiot.

    Reply
    • chill says

      December 29, 2011 at 7:50 pm

      A: “Does your dog bite?”

      B: “No, he’s good with people.”

      A: “Ow! I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!”

      B: “Yes, but this dog isn’t mine.”
      .

      Reply
      • BoMama says

        December 29, 2011 at 10:02 pm

        Inspector Clouseau.

        Reply
        • hot fuzz says

          December 30, 2011 at 10:15 pm

          Does your ohtel av a pooole?

          You have the brain of a minky.

          Reply
  20. chill says

    December 29, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    Websites that have ads reading, for example “countdown to Black Friday”, when Black Friday was a month ago. Unless we’re counting the next 330 days, which I doubt because business can’t see that far.

    People who take a good story as fact just because it’s a good story, even when it flies in the face of reason.

    Vendors who think that because they have my email address, that I must therefore be always on the lookout for webinars. No! I don’t care about your damned case studies! Shut your hole!

    Kids who refer to a technology as “old-skool”, when it came and went before I noticed. Like AIM. Two-inch quad, anyone?
    .

    Reply
  21. Shawn says

    December 29, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    People who say “see you next year” because they won’t see you until the calendar turns. So fucking clever. When I was a kid I thought of that once and said it to my grandmother, it seemed funny and smart. Yeah, I was eight fucking years old. You’re an adult, it’s not funny anymore, fuck you and your new year. And the horse you rode in on.

    Thanks for asking, I feel better now.

    Reply
    • chill says

      December 29, 2011 at 8:17 pm

      WVSR guest accommodations provided by the Horse You Rode Inn.
      .

      Reply
      • Good2go says

        December 30, 2011 at 10:19 am

        Click and Clack bugged the shit out of me so bad I had to stop listening to their podcast. Maybe they were relevant back in the days when cars could be fixed by a do-it-yourselfer, but now all they can do is read bad jokes that were emailed to them by other unfunny people.

        Reply
        • chill says

          December 30, 2011 at 11:34 am

          A year or two ago I saw an interview with [some guy who had a new car-related show, name long forgotten]. The interviewer mentioned Click and Clack and the guy says, “they’re funny, but they’re not as funny as they think they are.” Which sounds about right to me.
          .

          Reply
  22. t-storm says

    December 29, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    irritating me right now? These damn pigs stealing my eggs.

    Reply
  23. Tim says

    December 30, 2011 at 12:36 am

    One of the things I hate is other people’s courtesy. If I am the last one to come to a complete stop at a stop sign, then I should not be the first to move. If it is your turn, move your ass. Do not motion for me to go out of turn. I don’t appreciate your fucking courtesy.

    Reply
    • chill says

      December 30, 2011 at 1:37 am

      Yeah, especially when I HAVE A STOP SIGN AND YOU DON’T. That means I have to wait for you. Just follow the rules and nobody gets hurt. Jeez.
      .

      Reply
    • The Qweezy Mark says

      December 30, 2011 at 10:55 am

      This one beats the shit out of me, too. These people really think they are being courteous when they’re really just confusing the shit out of everyone! That’s one way to cause an accident, confuse everyone at an intersection.

      Reply
  24. corrybug says

    December 30, 2011 at 4:54 am

    When talking to a friend or family member and they keep refering to the person you’ve known for years as “my husband” (or wife).
    Yuh. I know he’s married to you. It’s a fine accomplishment and you didn’t have to spend 80k on school to prove to the world you really don’t suck. Congrats.
    Not only are you fiscally wiser than I am, but you get to have sex without fear of disease or damnation. Rub it in.

    Reply
  25. Andy says

    December 30, 2011 at 7:53 am

    Annoying things:
    * Sitting through a green light while the idiot in front of me is texting.
    * People PULLING their shopping cart at the grocery store, the handle is in the front so PUSH it!
    * People having long, overly graphic conversations about medical problems on their cell phone at Border’s- I don’t care about your “procedure”, I just want to buy a calendar so get out of my way!!!

    Reply
    • Tipsey McChugney says

      December 30, 2011 at 12:19 pm

      I hate it when people prattle on and on about their recently purchased calendar during a surgical procedure

      Reply
  26. Douche Baguete says

    December 30, 2011 at 11:27 am

    The ONLY thing that chaps my ass is when people don’t acknowledge that Channel 4 out of Oak Hill was actually the local ABC affiliate. Then again – since you were from the St. Albans area, you may have had some other ABC stuff coming in from Ohio.

    If I remember correctly, through most of the 70s and 80s the over-the-air lineup in southern WV looked like:
    WSAZ – Channel 3 – NBC (Huntington – home of Mr. Cartoon!!)
    WOAY – Channel 4 – ABC (Oak Hill)
    WCHS – Channel 8 – CBS (Charleston)
    Some PBS station out of Beckley on Channel 9
    weird/bizarre/seemingly from another planet stuff on the UHF dial (whatever happened to THAT?)

    Reply
  27. Gordion Knott says

    December 30, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    I remember the early adopter VCRs–behemoth top-loading mothers with authentic wood veneer on the sides and back.

    In my ‘hood, Mother, Jugs and Speed was the preeminent high-rotation movie that seemed to dominate the TV waves for years. The stations would roll it out when they lacked for more interesting fare. Of course, in those days the picture would lock up halfway due to “we’re experiencing technical difficulties” and you’d be treated to a still image and the acoustic piece “Classical Gas” for five minutes. Anybody remember this?

    Reply
  28. dandan says

    December 30, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    i watch pulp fiction and a clockwork orange @ least once or twice a month..while sitting in my chair made of soft corrrrrinthian leather.
    zeds dead baby.

    Reply
    • chill says

      December 30, 2011 at 2:14 pm

      I’ve often wondered… what DOES Marcellus Wallace look like?
      .

      Reply
      • WB in OH says

        December 30, 2011 at 3:29 pm

        http://theoatmeal.com/comics/marcellus_wallace

        Reply
      • Brad says

        December 31, 2011 at 10:50 am

        What?

        Reply
        • hot fuzz says

          December 31, 2011 at 12:14 pm

          SAY “WHAT” AGAIN!!!!

          Reply
  29. chill says

    December 30, 2011 at 2:41 pm

    On the pronounciation front… it seems like weathermen don’t know how to say the word “cloudy” – it always comes out as “cloddy”. If I wanted dirt in the air, I’d pull out that old Kansas LP.
    .

    Reply
  30. pdparrot says

    December 30, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Great update, I think I peed a little while reading. They won’t let me in tim Horton’s anymore.

    Reply
    • hot fuzz says

      December 31, 2011 at 12:17 pm

      Please tell me there is a correlation between the peeing and the reading…. or else I think we just learnt a little something more about you.

      Reply
  31. wldwater says

    December 30, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    I hate that american idle has paved the way so that every no-talent god awful singer can now find work (and does) in
    every other radio commercial. At Xmas it is even worse because they now sound awful to a known theme.

    Reply
    • wldwater says

      December 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm

      oops American Idol i mean

      Reply
  32. DeepInTheHeart says

    December 30, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    My mom (who’s in her 60’s) once took a class to learn how to trim Bonsai Trees. Please don’t ask why as I’m at a loss for an intelligent answer (as if there actually is one). Anyway, after she took the class she started pronouncing the name differently. “Bons-eye” is how a normal american would say it. My mother now refers to them as “bones-eye” trees. Apparently that’s how the instructor pronounced it.

    She loved to flit around all high-and-mighty-like and correct people on their pronunciation of the word. Her sentences usually began with “Well actually,…” or some such irritating combination of words.

    I finally had to tell her that’s she’s a 4’11” white woman, not a 4’11” japanese woman and that she should keep to her own accent. She didn’t appreciate it. However, after many eye-rolls from unsuspecting correctee’s she finally stopped doing it. Thank God. It was annoying as hell.

    Reply
    • hardoxdan says

      December 31, 2011 at 1:08 am

      Oh, you just struck a nerve.

      My mother-in-law (now deceased), nice lady, had several of those strangely pronounced words that drove me nuts:

      Wreath = reef
      Chimney = chimley
      Cousin = cousint
      October = Optober
      Pen = pin

      Several more that I cannot remember right now, but It was like deciphering secret code when carrying on a conversation with her.

      Reply
      • chill says

        December 31, 2011 at 1:14 am

        Was she from Picksburgh?
        .

        Reply
        • hardoxdan says

          January 2, 2012 at 9:38 am

          Close to Picksburgh, about 50 miles southwest in the Northern Panhandle of WV.

          Reply
  33. hot fuzz says

    December 30, 2011 at 10:31 pm

    On point Jeff.

    That was money.

    Awesome dude.

    sorry too much triple D on the food channel this week…

    Seriously? It was one of your best posts. Thanks bud.

    Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      December 31, 2011 at 12:42 pm

      They should just rename that The Guy Fieri and Bobby Flay Network.

      Reply
  34. johnthebasket says

    December 31, 2011 at 8:27 am

    Santa gifted me a Nano, my first foray into the MP3 world and, five days into it, I’m totally addicted to Julie Klausner’s podcast, How Was Your Week. I’ve also been listening to the Science Friday, Freakonomics, and CBC’s Ideas podcasts, which are all great, but How Was Your Week has more energy than a neutron star and is considerably funnier.

    I know this topic was covered several weeks ago, but I wasn’t in the land of MP3 then. Are there other podcasts that I shouldn’t miss?

    Happy New Year to Jeff and all the Reporters…

    John

    Reply
    • jim britton says

      December 31, 2011 at 11:53 am

      Happy New Year to you & your Nano!

      Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      December 31, 2011 at 12:39 pm

      Adam Curry and John C. Dvorak have a good one called No Agenda. You’ll love that one, jtb. 🙂

      Reply
  35. Brad says

    December 31, 2011 at 10:52 am

    It pisses me off when “cultured” assholes pronounce jalepeno like “hala-pain-yo”. It’s “hala-pee-no”, dicknose.

    Reply
  36. Stephanie says

    December 31, 2011 at 11:46 am

    Oh. My. Gosh. I thought I was alone in the rolling R’s thing, Jeff. Keep in mind, I am half Puerto Rican and I DESPISE that crap.

    Too oftentimes, a perfectly good newscaster, enunciating clearly and with perfect diction, will finish her story and end with, “This is Marrria Rrrrodrrriguez Serrrano rrreporting from Sauk Rrrapids. Stupid bitch. We can SEE you are hispanic…your name is right under your asinine rolling R’s face on the screen. This. I HATE.

    I will get some idiot on the phone at work, telling me their name is Pedrrro Morrrales and I purposefully repeat their name back to them as Pay-drow More-rallis. As white as I can, yep. Pretentious is an understatement.

    I grew up in NY, in a mixed neighborhood (surprise) and not one Italian said, “My name is Marrrio Buonarrrrati”. So, its an “in your face, I’m hispanic” thing.

    Reply
    • hot fuzz says

      December 31, 2011 at 12:23 pm

      How’s yourrrr tailbone Stephanie? Arrrrre you rrrrecoverrrring?

      That’s got to hurt like a son of a bitch; how long is the recovery?

      Reply
      • Stephanie says

        December 31, 2011 at 1:28 pm

        Hilarrrious! My tailbone is healing fairly well! The fall down the stairs happened in July. Still hurts like a son of a bitch, indeed. Doctors said it can take up to 6 months to completely heal. Oh, and that stray cat…still waits outside for me to feed her, almost every day. (And yes, I do).

        Reply
  37. Terry in Acworth says

    December 31, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    A few come to mind:

    People who say something like chocolate is “to die for”.
    I love chocolate but I would not die for a candy bar.

    Weather people on TV saying “Are weather tomorrow is going to be cold”– it is “Our weather is going to be cold”.

    I know you are uneducated when you say “They gave it to Janie and I” It should be Janie and me. or

    “Janie and me were the only ones who were there”. It should be “Janie and I were the only ones there.”

    Go ahead and blast me for this. I am not “talking-down to” or “nitpicking anyone. These instances of basic grammar are so easy to learn but they say so much about the person speaking. Happy New Year to all from a hillbilly in Ga who misses the beautiful WV mountains.

    Reply
  38. DeepInTheHeart says

    December 31, 2011 at 12:58 pm

    My dad was born and raised in Wisconsin and instead of saying creek, he calls it a “crick”. What the?? How do you get the i sound from two side-by-side E’s??

    Strangely, it only applies to this one use of the double-e combination.

    He’s lived in California since he got back from Vietnam in ’69, but he still says crick. Go figure.

    Reply
  39. DeepInTheHeart says

    December 31, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    Oh! And speaking of the rolling R’s….I can’t stand it when I’m watching the morning news and the Latino news reporter speaks perfectly during their report and then go all roll-ee when they say their name.

    “Thank you for watching Channel 9 News, I’m Marrrrrria Gooonzalessss.”

    Reply
    • chill says

      December 31, 2011 at 1:15 pm

      It seems to me that people who don’t otherwise have an accent do not generally affect one; that is, you don’t hear a fake Chinese or German accent from an American whose grandfather came here from that place. It’s really only Hispanic newscasters as far as I can tell. I mean, ordinary Peurto Rican New Yorkers are likely to have a New York accent if anything.
      .

      Reply
      • Stephanie says

        December 31, 2011 at 1:37 pm

        Agreed. They sound and look ridicullous. Again, I am half Puerto Rican, (my mother was born and raised in Ponce). My dad, is Jewish. I have my ex-husbands Italian last name. Now, I don’t “look” hispanic, whatsoever. I look like I am Irish (fair skin-freckled red head). Most of these rolling R idiots LOOK hispanic, with their coloring, hair AND they have that Very Spanish Looking Name under their faces, on the news. So, WHY the trilling Rs??? I think I will ask the next person that does that. I will report back here.

        Reply
        • T. Farty McAppleass says

          December 31, 2011 at 2:21 pm

          I see a lot of white people pulling this shit too. On the news. And lots of times when we’re in a Mexican Restaurant. They’re fucking hayseeds until the get to the name of whatever they’re ordering. And many of them insist on saying “gracias” instead of “thank you” or “thanks”. Shitbags. We’re in Alabama, not Valle de Santiago, you fucking idiot. They know what “sweet tea” and “tacos” are. You don’t have to try to struggle through your shitty grasp on Spanish to place an order.

          Reply
  40. Jason says

    December 31, 2011 at 1:13 pm

    We went to eat last night at The Melting Pot with my buddy and his wife. The Melting Pot takes a good hour to get through the meal and I swear to God, she must have popped her neck, back, elbows, vagina, whatever, 100 times. She doesn’t even have to hold her hand on her chin. She just swings her head around and it sounds like fireworks going off. She does it CONSTANTLY. It’s was really getting under my skin. She couldn’t sit still. Always popping and cracking. Hopping around like a speed freak.

    The people in Alabama pronounce “school” as “skeewww”- I think that’s how you’d spell it. And “Ranch” can mean any number of things to them: salad dressing, a tool, to wring water out of a cloth, a plot of land, who knows?

    We got three separate Christmas cards from people which pictures of their goddamn cats or dogs (sometimes dressed up) and nothing else on them. WTF? Merry Christmas, here’s a picture of “Dixie”. Fuck Dixie. There’s three or four that also send us the fucking three page letters about their family. My wife reads them but I don’t. In all honesty I don’t give a shit how Uncle Jack’s gallbladder surgery went.

    Of the movies that I do watch, I only watch them once.

    Reply
  41. american in germany says

    January 1, 2012 at 1:03 am

    Americans who constantly say …” you know” or “you know what I mean?” No, no one knows what you mean if you cannot articulate yourself.

    Reply
    • chill says

      January 1, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      One of my favorites is “you know what I’m sayin’?” Especially when it comes out sounding like “gnome sane?”
      .

      Reply
  42. Chuck in Belpre says

    January 1, 2012 at 1:27 am

    Just looked at my local Kroger ad. Reese’s Easter Eggs are now available. About time!!!

    Reply
    • DeepInTheHeart says

      January 1, 2012 at 12:05 pm

      Mmmmm, Reese’s.

      Every year I wait for Easter to come around because Cadbury’s comes out with their Mini Eggs. Small solid chocolate eggs with a speckled candy shell. It’s my favorite candy of all time and it only comes out at Easter. I buy 4 bags every year and try to make them last as long as I can. I swear gettin’ a bag of those puppies is like finding the golden ticket in a Wonka Bar.

      Reply
      • Good2go says

        January 1, 2012 at 7:49 pm

        I bought a couple of bags of those before Christmas. The bag had a snowman on it, so I was expecting the eggs to be red/green/white holiday colours. But no, they were the same pastel Easter colours.

        Still tasted the same though, so it was all good.

        Reply
    • tracy in ohio says

      January 2, 2012 at 7:15 pm

      I seen them a couple of weeks before Christmas. All holiday candy will soon be on sale year round if they keep it up.
      That’s what really pisses me off. Holiday candy out of order!

      Reply
  43. Dunco says

    January 3, 2012 at 5:39 pm

    I have to say, I LOVE holiday letters. The reason? They are never written by families that lead interesting lives. I look forward to my 40 year old cousins letter every year, mostly to hear about the year that her Transluscent Kids had (thank you so much Mr Kay, for describing Nancy’s children this way, my entire immediate family now refers to my cousin’s kids this way). OK, this reply is getting away from me, so I’ll only use one example;

    “Billy’s favorite hobbys this year include indoor soccer, clarinet, and trap shooting.”

    Also, does anyone know people that pronounce the word “Squash” as “Squorsh”?

    Reply
    • chill says

      January 3, 2012 at 7:36 pm

      My aunt Bonnie. When we kids were little, she’d tell us to “warsh” our hands.
      .

      Reply

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