I didn’t get to bed until almost 3 this morning, on account of high bullshit, and was awakened before 9 by a godawful caterwauling originating from an unknown source.
It was “music,” and it was loud. At first I thought it was coming from inside our house, which didn’t seem right. Our kids are a little more considerate (afraid I’ll scream at them), plus they have better taste. So, what the hell? The moment my eyes popped open in confusion, I could tell I hadn’t gotten enough sleep. But it was over. There was no turning back now.
“What the hell is that terrible music?!” I asked Toney, after I’d spewed a full day’s worth of profanity in the first five minutes.
“Those roofers behind us,” she said. “Way too loud, right?”
The neighbors are getting a new roof, or somesuch, and the workers were indeed cranking that unfathomably awful racket. It sounded like teenage girl pop, high energy, with a lot of whistling in it. I think I’ve heard it before, in the background on TV or whatever.
“What kind of roofers would listen to shit like that? What is it, Katy Perry or something?”
“Well, whatever. It sucks. A real roofer would listen to Zeppelin. These guys obviously don’t know what they’re doing.”
“The song before this was country. I think they’re playing a country radio station.”
“Country?! If that’s considered country then Hank Williams just died again in hell.”
So… that’s how my day started. I feel like I’m in a fog now, and will probably crash the moment I free-fall into a comfy chair. I had plans today, too. Now I’m going to have to do everything through a heavy gauze of exhaustion. Yes, this is how the weekends generally go for me.
Last weekend I was sick. On Saturday I felt like crap, and by Sunday was completely down and out. I was sprawled on the couch most of the day, in the grip of SARS or something. To illustrate how bad it was: I watched the ENTIRE Emmy Awards. Every minute of it, including the red carpet stuff at the beginning… I’m lucky to be alive.
Then, on Monday, when it was time to go back to work, I was much improved. See how it goes? I work for the weekend, and it gets destroyed somehow. I’m not even kidding. Any idea what that song is? Female singer, disgustingly catchy, shitload of whistling? Help me out, won’t you? If I can identify it, maybe I can also emotionally purge it?
My laptop is now shutting down on its own, at random times. It’s maddening. I’ve done a little reading, and it’s possible that the computer is loaded with dust and is overheating? I mean, the shit is close to ten years old at this point, so it’s certainly possible. So, what do you think about this plan?
Do you think it would do any damage to it if I took it outside, laid it upside down on a towel, and blasted all the vents with the leaf blower? Heh. As soon as I’m done here, I think I’m going to give it a try. I mean, I can barely use it at this point. I’ll be writing, or reading an article, and the whole thing will just power down. It makes me want to slam my head through plate glass.
I’ll keep you updated on what happens after I hit that bastard with a blower-blast. If it sends it to laptop heaven, I’m going to be sad. But I’m desperate. It’s working much better without Google Chrome, but now I’m dealing with this shutdown thing. It’s making me crazy. Hey, maybe I could tie it to the roof of my car and drive to Harrisburg and back? That’s also a possibility. Stay tuned.
I’m going to get a haircut today, as well. I pay $12 at Malcolm’s, a local chain of salons. How much do you pay? And how often do you go? It feels like I’m going every five weeks or so. We tried to go the home clippers route, but I don’t like the results. My kids don’t mind it, but I’m not a fan. Something always feels slightly askew, like I’ve gone full-Corky. Also, how much do you tip at a haircuttery? I tip $5. Is that good? What’s your feelings on this most important of matters?
And I’m going to go now. I’m hooked on these microwave burritos, so I’m going to polish one off. Possibly two. They’re damn good. Oh yeah.
By the way, the picture above came from one of the local papers. What the?
I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great weekend!
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Rod Torfulson says
The leaf blower isn’t going to make it any worse. You may want to consider taping the nozzle to the largest vent on the computer for maximum effect. A can of air might do the trick as well. Or it you want to start in the middle, use the vacuum cleaner.
Listen for the fan to spin up, it’ll make a rising, whirring noise. If you don’t hear that, it could be the problem. The fan is stopped up and that’s why it’s overheating.
I just had the barber a twenty (the task is $13) and I’m gone. They appreciate it and the job they do is always better each visit.
Greg Wildt says
Haircut: $15, tip: $5. Once every 6 weeks. No idea about the song. I don’t listen to that stuff.
It’s astonishing just how DIRTY the insides of a computer can get. We keep cans of compressed air and give the myriad of computers in our home a blow job every couple/few months. Also astonishing is the amount of food that (somehow) gets embedded in the keyboard.
I cut my own hair. Can recall the last time I paid someone. It shows, but I’m too old to care.
Most of the roofer/carpenters/drywallers around here are from south of the border and crank tinny mariachi most of the time. Biff says they’ll turn their cell phones alllaway up and walk around the construction site just blasting away through the phone speakers. Madness.
I pay twenty seven dollars at a local “man shop” barber and tip eight dollars. Expensive but the absolute best haircuts possible, and they straight razor my neck hairs and give me a beer. I do this every couple of months or so.
Could we get an Ad Vs Reality (and review) of the new Arby’s pork belly sandwich please. I like pork belly, I don’t like Arby’s, it’s a dilemma.
Wife cuts my hair with clippers. Looks fine to me.
Why is it that roofers can’t work without a radio blasting? Though it seems to be a problem for many people to work without something cranked up…
Like Rod said, check the fan. My laptop was doing the same thing a few months ago. Popped a new fan in, and it’s working like a charm. Make one of the boys do it. Taking apart a laptop is maddening work. Make them earn their keep.
The Qweezy Mark says
Had the same problem 2 years ago with the computer just shutting down on its own. It’s actually saving itself from overheating. Fan had quit. Not too expensive a fix. I’ve also blown hard into an intake vent before and saw clouds of dust billow out of an exhaust vent. Just make sure your puff of air does not include any spit. Hence, a can of air would be preferable.
Oh, and don’t bother with one of those external fans to put under your laptop, they cannot deliver the same cooling as the machines own internal fan. I’ve made that mistake.
Everything is outrageously priced here in Austin. I also insist on getting my hair cut at fancy pants salons NOT because I’m fancy, I simply like to look at hot chicks and will pay extra for the greater concentration of them. So embarrassingly, it costs me $50 and the tip is usually $12. Ouch. Stoopid, but I really got an eyeful earlier today and have restocked my spank bank.
The Qweezy Mark says
I feel like going drinking tonight with Pol Pot and the boys. You know THEY knew how to party!
Lee Tuttle says
My old laptop was shutting down randomly, so I checked the manual, opened the little hatch next to the fan, and proceeded to pull out dust that was so thick it came out like a piece of felt. Good as new afterwards.
You didn’t ask for the best whistling song of all time, but I’m gonna give it to you anyway. It’s only four and a half minutes out of your life, guys. Give it a listen. Kinky Friedman’s “Marilyn and Joe”. . .
Haircuts: Chains, my baby’s got me locked up in chains, and they ain’t the kind that you can see. Why is it always a chain establishment? Restaurants, groceries, pharmacies, and now clip joints. I go to a lady who owns her own shop, is not part of a chain, knows and enjoys talking about music from the sixties on, and gives great haircuts. Twenty bucks with a five dollar tip every four weeks.
And Tiff is right: there never was a situation that a blow job couldn’t improve.
I have a receding hairline and thinning hair. It’s an age thing. Routinely going to the barber has the same appeal to me as detailing a rusty used car. 20 minutes of razor humming, a few spritzes of hair water, some sweet straight razor work, the requisite talc bomb and It’s $20, tip included. All this while the high school kid in the next chair gets his head shaved down to the nubs, a la Navy boot camp.
What they said: give the laptop a blowjob. Splurge and buy a can of air at your local Costco, Micro Center or (heaven forfend) Worst Buy. You will be astounded at the amount of dog hair in there. If it’s a Dell, look at support.dell.com – they have pretty good service manuals that show how to tear down (and reassemble!) a laptop, at least to the extent of getting the crud out.
I haven’t had a haircut in over 20 years, and so can’t comment on that.
I bet the song in question is ‘day drinking’ by little big town.
That certainly fits the description.
That’s it! OMG, what a turd. There are people out there who actually listen to stuff like that for pleasure? It’s baffling to me. And it’s considered country?! How??
I knew it because some girl kept playing it on her phone. I asked her, “What the fuck IS that????” And she told me.
Country is now just Pop music with a twang. For “real” country, search Americana.
It costs me $5 to have Shelia drag a clippers across my head every four weeks and I also tip her an additional $5.
On Tuesday night, or rather Wednesday morning at 4:00 am, some ass wipe
drove down our street with the car stereo blasting. I think the song may have been Spirit in the sKy. There is a downloading lot for state land access which is where kids go in the wee hours of the morning. Also hunters who get there in the pre dawn hours. If the wind is just right I can hear their conversations as clear as day.
I pay an honest to god Union barber $14 with a $6 tip.
I’ve had the same barber for about 35 years now. He owns the shop and he’s the only barber. He won’t take new customers; if you’re in his chair he’s known you for years.
He’s an old Sicilian and his hands shake but I’ve never been nicked when he gets out the straight razor.
He cut my dads hair and now I take my sons. I like the continuity and sense of tradition.
When he finally hangs up his clippers I have no idea what I’m going to do. Probably end up looking like a fat hippie.
Barbers have a union? Must be a MI thing.
I had a haircut once. 1980 if my memory serves. Yeah, after 4 years in the army I stopped shaving and cutting my hair juat over 39 years ago. Then one day a cute girl talked me into getting a “trim”, and she cut about 4″ off the ends. No more of that shit. So yeah, Ill be 61 in 2 days and have a ponytail down to the middle of my back and a Duck Dynasty beard. What of it? I still manage to make a fairly decent living, because when you’re good at what you do people tend to not give a shit about little stuff like that. Think of the money I’ve saved over the years. And there hasn’t been any good country music since Gram Parsons died. Although Rodney Crowell comes pretty close. On a side note, in 4 days Mrs. SVS and I are heading to central Idaho to look at possible retirement property. I haven’t yet decided if I should buy enough property to raise a few animals, (which will keep us pretty much tied to the place), or just get 20 acres and no livestock so we can leave home and go fly our paragliders when we decide to get off the ground for a bit.
Congrats on getting out, or at least on thinking about fixin’ to get ready to get out. Here in northern Virginia, we don’t have acres. We have square feet.
Thanks. California wasn’t so bad when I first moved here back around ’79. But I can’t take the place any more. Incidentally, I spent just over 3 years of my distinguished military career in Northern Virginia. Arlington Hall Station on route 50, back when it was still the headquarters of the Army Security Agency.
NOVA, I remember it well. We were there for 8 yrs in the late 80’s-90’s. Hubster worked for a French bakery and I was a boss jock on DC 101. Bought our first house in Vienna, can you imagine what that thing is worth today? We chose the beach over the mountains for retirement. Haven’t retired yet but we are here.
DC 101! I still listen to Idiot In The Morning every day on the car radio. Alternating between them, WTOP and WAMU; when eon goes to commercial, I go to the next. I used to be a WHFS listener, when such a thing was possible.
And as for radio, I’ve never been a jock, Boss or otherwise, but I have been a Chief Engineer.
I still consider HFS the best station I’ve listen to….it went hispanic didn’t it? TOP was my second. I’ve never found another talk station like it. Is it still across the board? News and stocks in the morning, doctor guy, the plant guy, the car guy. Is Bruce Williams still alive? Chief Engineers, don’t get me started. Most that I knew were too damn funny, cut from a different cloth. DC101 had a totally humorless engineer and Greaseman.
Greaseman, god ol’ Doug Tracht… I remember him. Gobba-da-gee. The billboards on buses said “changing the way Washington talks.” It’s been a long time. WTOP is pretty much news and traffic these days. I flip over “on the eights” for traffic and weather. I don’t know Bruce Williams, but I only moved here to Dixieland in 1987, so he might be before my time.
I was chief engineer at WBZA, Glens Falls NY (and also WNIQ, the FM side) for a few months in 1980. It paid $175 a week, which was nothing like a living wage even then, and even not counting the 100-mile round trip commute. I was glad to move to WAST-TV in Albany; I’ll trade the pay bump for no longer being “Cheese” in a heartbeat.
We moved to DC in ’88 so you might have heard me. I did graveyard and worked with Nino Greaseminelli 5 days a week. “Traffic on the 8’s” great memories. Bruce Williams was a syndacated advice guy I’d listen to on my way to work. I loved DC and wish we’d never left.
12 bucks for the haircut. 2 bucks for tip.
Maybe the song is Handclap by Fitz and the Tantrums.
Is it possible you were hearing yodeling and MISTAKING it for whistling? The perhaps foreign roofers could have been enjoying “She Taught Me How To Yodel” by Kenny Archer or any of a dozen other fine country singers. Here’s Kenny’s version . . .
Losing Muhammad Ali and Arnold Palmer in the same year is like losing the two uncles who taught you all the stuff your parents hoped you wouldn’t learn. They were each the best at their game in their time, they were each willing to “go for it” and risk everything, and each was a remarkably generous man, although they both kept most of their philanthropy quiet. I never met Ali, but, in my experience, Palmer was a sweet, genuinely friendly and decent man.
I just wasn’t made for these times.
Nice post, jtb. Very nice post.
Agreed jtb. Also agree with all of those sentiments. Both legends who I never ended up feeling guilty about idolizing.
Grape Ape says
My mother (who runs a rural beauty shop that is straight out of Steel Magnolias) has been cutting my hair for 40 years. She won’t take payment so I treat her to lunch from time to time. She’s getting ready to hang it up for good. Not sure where I’ll go when that happens, but it will be weird having anyone but good ol’ mom lowering my ears.
Hey Jeff, I’m a mechanic but I don’t know shit about computers, put your laptop in the fridge for and hour or so then see if lasts longer before it shits on you and that should tell you if it’s an overheating problem. But hey, what do I know.