Contrary to popular belief, I’m a fairly optimistic person. No seriously, it’s true… I wake up in a good mood most mornings, knowing the day ahead holds many exciting possibilities. And I believe, in my heart, that things will work out to our benefit.
Oh, I get irritated by the small stuff, like bombastic kielbasa-eaters who stop at the bottom of interstate entrance ramps with their blinkers on. But when it comes to the big stuff, I’m confident (naively or not) that everything will be just fine.
For the past couple of days, however, my brain chemicals have been conspiring against me. I’m in some kind of funk. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels here, and have even been considering major life changes. A mid-life crisis flare-up? Perhaps. But also a reality I’m forced to deal with (dammit).
But, you know, this ain’t Oprah, and I don’t really want to wallow in it. Sheesh. Next thing I know, I’ll be filling up one of Nossy’s vaginal hot water bladders, and napping the day away with a thumb plugged into my ass.
This doesn’t fall under the heading of “major” life changes, but I’m considering an adjustment to the Surf Report delivery system. These long updates, I’m now convinced, are not the way to go.
They’re too scattered, I believe, and cover too many subjects. Plus, I think they’re probably daunting to new readers. I can imagine myself stumbling across a site for the first time, and encountering a big totem pole of ridiculousness. I’d make a mental calculation, and realize it would probably take me five full minutes to read all that stuff. And five minutes on the internet is a long time.
So, starting next Monday I’m going to begin experimenting with shorter updates posted more frequently. That might mean two or three updates a day, or four, or sometimes just one. It’ll all depend on what’s going on at the time.
They’ll be more focused that way, and more bite-sized and accessible. I know we’ve all grown accustomed to the four big updates every week, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best course of action.
And no, I’m not going to start linking to news stories and videos of bears playing hockey, and that sort of thing. It’ll still be “a journal of sorts updated every once a while.” Just a little here, and a little there.
Any opinions on that? A good idea? Or do you give a crap, either way? Let me know.
The good news? If it doesn’t work, we can just go back to the old way of doing things. It’s not like it’s going to knock the Earth off its axis, one way or the other.
The T-Shirt Lady (finally!) called this morning, and said our order is ready for pick-up. And without prompting, she said, “They look awesome!”
I’m going to pick up the shirts tomorrow, hopefully, and will get them in the mail to everyone as fast as my sausage fingers can process the orders.
One sad note… She told me she “lost two during curing.” I don’t know what that means, but can imagine her coming home to her husband at night, with a tortured look on her face.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” he’d say.
“I lost two today, Jim. …During curing. They were so young, and so innocent.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry. But please don’t blame yourself. I know you did everything in your power.”
Or something like that. In any case, the shirts are completed, and I’ll post a picture of the finished product, ASAP.
And here, for the fifty-seventh time, is the order link.
A woman at work heated up a Tupperware container of something for lunch a few days ago, and it smelled really good. I asked her what it was, and she said, “scrambled eggs and pot roast.”
WTF? Is that an accepted combination? I’d never heard of such a thing. And who cooks scrambled eggs, then eats them hours later? The whole thing was baffling to me.
It’s a funny thing, though. The shit looked and smelled really good. And I experienced a twinge of lunch envy.
What’s the most unusual thing you’ve seen a co-worker eat for lunch? I’m looking for weird combinations of things, especially. Use the comments link below.
Back during the summer I walked into the break room, and a woman was sitting in there eating corn on the cob. She was in the middle of the room, all by herself, eating corn. In front of her was a paper plate, with two already-depleted cobs piled onto it, and nothing else. For some reason, I thought that was a riot.
Share your stories, below.
Also, for research purposes, please tell me what other “online journals” (I refuse to say blogs) you read on a regular basis. You know, after stopping at the Surf Report, of course. I’d like to know.
And that’ll do it for today, my friends.
See ya tomorrow.
I once witnessed a coworker preparing what appeared to be the run-of-the-mill peanut butter sandwich… Until… he opened up a can of sardines and started placing the headless fishes onto the peanut butter blanketed white bread.
Oh! But it didn’t stop there… He then lathered mayonnaise on the other slice of bread to complete the Dan-wich of grossness.
Eugene B. Sims, what? No marshmallow fluff, bacon and bananas?
I read James Lileks’ ‘bleat’.
I like the blog the way it is, but willing to give a new version a try.
Bill in PA, I am with Limey. I am not trying to start something, but the late turn signal is maddening when you are lining up in a lane that goes straight or left.
Jeff, I like the long format, but I will also continue to read no matter what you choose.
And I also enjoy Jorge’s journal, and check in on other Surf Reporters occasionally.
If a shorter, one topic format would be better for you, I’m all for that. The current format is good too, so I’m just gonna roll with this one.
I read TONS of other journals – most of the Surf Reporters (at least the ones I know have “journals”), and assorted others just out there…
I once worked with a very obese man who tried many, many fad diets in order to shed some poundage. Once, he tried the Egg Diet. A dozen eggs a day. That was it. He’d go use the restroom about 45 minutes into the workday and the stink would just waft out into the general work area. He didn’t stay on that diet long, thank goodness. However, he always smelled like dirty ass. Always.
i am also with limey – if he hadn’t said it, i would have.
yes, it’s annoying to watch the blinker (it’s hard not to), and i am also annoyed when i have to listen to my own blinker, but if i pull up behind someone just to find out that they’re going to turn left after all, little clouds of steam poof out of my ears….
Jeff, I hope you feel better.
Working at night may be part of the “not rightness”.
I’ve worked 1530~2400 and 2330~0800 shifts before and they can be brutal.
Exercise & sunlight might help.
If I need a laugh I read Something Awful,
Philadelphia Lawyer ( http://www.philalawyer.net ),
Bad News Hughes ( http://domesticatedshithead.blogspot.com
and Match.com (I’m single once again….)
http://www.roundisfunny.com This is from the guy that brought you Rock and Roll confidential.com
http://www.thedanzatap.com
…my 2 cents…
i like the current post shedule the way it is…i don’t get to check in often so one large read 4 days a week is groovy by me…well now that i think about, if you changed it i’d still get one large (catch-up) read.
weirdest food combo: fritos dipped in cold cream of mushroom soup…dude was straight dippin outta the can.
…also i read NO other ‘blogs’…you’ve ruined me jeff! i’m jaded towards all others, i’ve tried but they just aren’t as good.
it has become a punchline in my family about strange food combination egg rolls and scrapple
Honestly I threw up a little just thinking about it but son and man both said “oh I’d eat that”
DearJeff ,
as a new fan I have already had to live through a web format change, a T shirt change, and now you want to deliver one minuite sound byte blogs! I am on the wrong side of 40 and your whole appeal is that you are the real deal! Lately not enough rants & too many questions! What the hell you are still the best blog out there!
sincerely
Ariana Huffington.
I work with a really nice guy who had some heart related issues and as result, eats all sorts of healthy crap like broccoli and salmon. Now it would be cool if he would just take the salmon and maybe stick it on some bread with mayonnaise and eat it like that, but no, he must stick it in a bowl with broccoli and other healthy crap and heat it up in the microwave.
Now don’t get me wrong, he knows it smells so he jokingly goes around yelling “stinky fish, stinky fish” to warn people, but what are you supposed to do, leave work?
And this isn’t a once a month type of deal, it is several times a week. I should add that this gentlemen does not appreciate foul language so it is not uncommon for him to whence when people walking by the snack area will yell stuff like, “Who Fucked?” or “Morning, ladies.”
It is really, really bad. Seriously, I have seen unsuspecting women hurry to the restroom to douche. Okay, I just made that up, but it is really horrendous.
But I guess there is nothing really odd about salmon and broccoli.
Anywhoo, I am a follower of numerous journals as time allows including ETW, and as somebody said, if she ever returns, the Blonde Goddess. Why the heck I follow “journalists” from West Virginia (and PA) is beyond me. Of course, I also follow several Texas based writers probably of no interest to you folks.
I like the current format of longer posts with numerous topics, though I confess, I liked the old format better. But I won’t stop coming just because you decide to post more often.
Limey and Raleigh Polly, I agree on your turn signal application under those circumstances. I would keep my signals flashing in a highway situation.
I neglected the to mention our congested 2 lane roads are often parking lots, at when I’m sitting in a clog of traffic, in a perfectly safe position, I don’t need to be staring a someone’s BRIGHTLY FLASHING BLINKER at a dead stop for one to three minutes. I put the sun visor down at night while stopped in traffic.
The only other blog I read is:
http://tanjents.com/
And she is the one who got me reading you.
I’m also with Pagan and thinking it has been too
many ?’s and not enough rants.
I also like the current format but am willing
to see what you got to offer with the other format.
Do whatever makes you happy Jeff. I will always be here for you. I usually read Fark and Blabbermouth.com every day. My work has a firewall on virtually everything so I am limited. I have to read WVSR at home.
I am a fan of http://boobsinjuriesanddrpepper.blogspot.com/. I also visit Wordnerd, Tiff, Biff, Evil Twin, Blonde Goddess and Trinamick (when she posts).
You can post whenever you like, Jeff. I usually land her (on average) every Saturday morning around 5 am – and read an entire week at a time.
Oh man, by the time I read all the comments, I’ve usually forgotten what I was going to say. Happens a lot here.
Anyway, as a few have mentioned, I miss the Blonde Goddess! I read ETW, too and a few others from here, but my bloglines feed has like 70 blogs (luckily they don’t all update everyday), so it wouldn’t be good to list them all here
Popcorn and parmesan is a great combo!
I forgot any other comments I had in mind. Probably the funny ones. 😉
I wouldn’t mind more frequent updates, and I love seeing you pop up on Twitter from time to time.
Love the long post and longer comments, we are mostly not of the MTV generation and therefore able to pay attention to things for longer than…… look shiny things…..what was i saying?
It is your site, do as you please, but we like it just fine. Don’t move our cheese.
I worked it a linen manufacturer in Seattle where we had to ban the Asian ladies from bringing lunch, as the various combinations of Kim-chee, fish stew, and other assorted far east foods would waft throughout the place and lodge in the linens. Linens that stink like Kimchee and dead fish are harder to sell. Just in case you were wondering.
Peace
I dig the long prose format myself. I’m in either way.
Obviously Jeff is feeling some stress and I think it’s a good idea for you to try a new format. You make everything so seem so easy. I mean, but seriously. You’ve got a large family, a job, a long commute, bills, etc.. You’ve given me more laughs in the last 7 years than anyone and you’re entitled to a break and do whatever the fuck you want. Who cares what these hungover drones think anyway? They’re the ones clamoring for that fucking Cat that plays the piano on Youtube. And has like 2 million hits I might add.
I hope you feel better, bro-hammer!
@ Jason In for a penny, in for a pound, right? Here you go, have a look: http://williamhazelgrove.blogspot.com/
Working with a vegan and several Chinese, I’ve seen my share of ‘interesting’ lunches – some of which I could not identify and was too afraid to ask. The soupy bowl of seaweed comes to mind. One of them had a soy milk maker/fermenter in his office that always sort of scared me.
Hey Jeff…I’m a new reader to the site, and I just have to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed the snarkiness, ridiculousness, and pure foolishness…keep up the good work!
As for lunch concoctions…I’ve been known to eat peanut butter/candy corn sandwiches for lunch…if that doesn’t put you in a sugar coma, nothing will…
The only “journals” I read reflexively right now are the WVSR, Do The Math, Penny Arcade, and Thus Spake Drake, a fellow Rhapsody playlist blogonaut.
Like others, I also drop in on assorted surfers’ sites when the mood strikes or they leave a particularly compelling comment.
And I will agree with Jason: one of the finest applications of scrambled eggs I have ever encountered is the chourizo and egg burrito. Works any time of day.
And one more: like ETW I once worked with a young man who could have driven mini-bikes professionally for Guinness, if you catch my “drift”. Every morning he came in with a full plastic 7-11 coffee cup the size of a small trash can. And every morning after an hour or so he’d go into the only men’s room on the floor to make a new Jackson Pollock painting all over the porcelain and stink bomb most of the floor back to the Stone Age. Good times!
Jason, I would bet that the drivers in Jackson, Mississippi, are worse. The other day I courteously moved into the left lane to allow a driver to merge (what a concept) and the idiot right behind me blew by me in the right lane to keep the poor guy from merging onto the interstate. My favorite is when they put on their right turn signals and then turn left, or vice versa. Even worse than no signal at all.
Liver and cabbage in the microwave is pretty revolting, but it’s amazing how bad burned popcorn can smell.
Jeff, yours is the only online journal I read every day. I read a few local and sports-related ones, and I check out The Onion every week. You might have a case of SAD, considering the time of year. You should feel better after the solstice. If not, check out the pharmaceuticals.
I don’t know about any one else but whiskey flavored condoms is just down right wrong. Matter of fact, any flavor to condoms is down right wrong.
Long format with comments intact is part of what makes this place great.
I worked for a guy that went on the atkins diet. He’d have a slab of steak or pork or something in the fridge every day, microwave it until it was leather, and eat the whole thing. The diet worked for him, but he had to eat a handful of vitamins every day. Plus he exuded a very distinct odor. I could smell him from down the hall, and he could no longer lurk over my shoulder undetected.
Popcorn and fish should never be microwaved at work, especially not together.
I NEVER read ‘online journals’ until I found the WVSR. Now I’m addicted, mostly to other Surf Reporters – Tiff, Wordnerd, Kenju, Renn, Brenda, Trinamick… it occurs to me you’re the only male ‘online journalist’ I read regularly. Hmm. Also surf Fark a bit.
“Liver and cabbage in the microwave is pretty revolting, but it’s amazing how bad burned popcorn can smell.” Those two items should never be cooked together nor heated up in microwave. Indian food has got my top ticke for food that smells. My cube sits adjacent to one of the many breakrooms in our building and at 4 o’clock, someone always goes in there and burns a bag of popcorn and I have to smell that until I leave. Thankfully , the air handler is right above my head so I just go over and turn on the AC and it sucks out the bad smell eventually.
BTW, all the Surf Report girls are excellent. Especially Tiff, shes got my vote. I can’t get through the day with out the these journals. Somebody has to keep reminding me that I’m not the olny one who thinks like that.
I generally don’t read blogs. But I found out about this one after reading the guy’s book about his experiences as a contestant on Jeopardy! (the gameshow). At the time, I had passed an audition for the show and hoped to be called up for it, but it never happened.
http://www.bobharris.com/
at work we’re forbidden from bringing peanut based foods… due. to. allergies.
also i won’t use the microwave and firmly believe that they should be banned. they only lead to nasty food smells wafting through the office.
also at some of my old jobs i’d never eat in the caffeteria. always ate alone because of people eating nasty food.
and not all of it was weird… i’m talking about porkchops or chicken that just smelled rancid when microwaved.
we also had one woman who would bring a whole “soup mix” of produce… turnips, dill, potato, huge carrot and would microwave that in a bowl with some water every day….
fucking rude if you ask me to eat your gross food and ruin everyone’s lunch.
blogs i read:
eviltwin’s wife, cute with chris (cutewithchris.com) and expectnothing.com
back in the day when i had my speakeasy site and greasypants i used to read a whole bunch of now-defunkt blogs like cananopie.pitas.com and unclebob.diaryland.com, drew.corrupt.net (natalie dee’s husband)…. but nowadays most blogs are crap.
Whatever happened to “Eating Eggs with Bill Oates”?
Dogberryjr,
Thanks for the link. He reminds me of a friend I had in Texas. He claimed to be a pool shark, but was really just a drunk that always got his ass kicked at pool.
This guy tries really hard but it’s just not there. He loves the words “disembodied” and “oligarchy”, did you notice that? And he’s obsessed with the bailouts.
Hmmmm… I’m late to the game on this one. New format couldn’t hurt. It gives us more to comment on and read throughout the day… but either way is good to me.
Aside from TWVSRI keep up with Tucker Max, The Sneeze, Stuff White People Like. That is all.
Several girls here at my office only eat raw tuna… that’s about it. Other than that it’s usually me who gets the commentary on my food. The occasional tofu, or veggie loaf, or meatless (pick your dish) usually get’s strange looks and people convincing me I’m insane and one person in particular who likes to use my meal as a segue into a 5 minute dialogue about what she does and does not enjoy eating.
just last week I came across an abandoned can of beverage… and the beverage was a non-alcohol jack and coke drink.. crazy.. no-alchol but articially flavored to taste like a jack and coke.. who drinks that at work?
http://www.boredatwork.com
http://www.perezhilton.com – yeah, i’m a sucker for bs.