That’s the thing. There are items on this list that I don’t like, but I know I don’t like them… because I’ve tried them a few times. I’ve met many people who say they don’t like a long, long list of things they’ve never tasted. That bugs me. Also, there’s no shortage (amazingly enough) of full-grown adults who eat like six year olds: hot dogs with ketchup, chicken strips, macaroni and cheese, burgers with next to no toppings, cheese pizza. And not much else. That also bugs me. And… I’ve met many adults who have a weird hang-up about their food “touching.” You know, the mashed potatoes can’t brush up against the corn or they’ll experience some kind of emotional collapse. Freaks.
Also, there are several items on this list I don’t like, but will eat in small amounts. Things like mayonnaise and garlic. The problem there? It’s very difficult for people to exercise restraint with either of those ingredients. Can you think of any others that are more routinely over-used than mayonnaise and garlic? I recall standing in a Subway in Atlanta years ago, apocalyptically hungover, and the woman in front of me kept asking for more and more and more mayonnaise. It was piled up high, jiggling and shiny. I’m not kidding, I nearly barfed. Blecch.
But, when I go to Wendy’s I always order my #1 with “no pickles.” I let the mayo ride. So… I don’t really like it, but I’m semi-reasonable on the subject. Pickles are far too dominating, and also loaded with garlic. Those things can go to hell. However… I do like sweet pickles. Especially with grilled cheese sandwiches, for some reason.
In any case, there are six items on the above list that I’d absolutely say no to, in every case: liver, tofu, asparagus, raw fish, olives, and snails. Liver is nasty. I’ve had tofu, and it’s off-putting. It seems to get bigger as you chew. Asparagus is one of the rare vegetables I don’t care for. Raw fish? What am I, a pelican? You hipsters can have my serving. I could choke down a few olives if I had to, but wouldn’t enjoy it. And snails? Maybe I’m a hypocrite, but I can’t recall ever eating them. And I’m cool with that.
There’s stuff on the list that are not my favorite, but they’re not on the NEVER list. Like zucchini. That’s a mushy bullshit vegetable. But it doesn’t turn my stomach.
How picky of an eater are you? Do you eat like you’re still in fourth grade? Can your food touch or does it trigger nervous exhaustion? How many items on the list above are in your NEVER category? Is my six low? High? Normal? I’m curious to find out. I feel like I’m far from picky, but I’m not going to be engaging in any extreme-eating, either. I’ve had stuff like alligator and snake, and attended a so-called Beast Feast years ago. I stopped at Burger King on my way home from that thing. The snapping turtle bisque just didn’t do it for me. And the coon cutlets were nicely prepared but unsatisfying. I tried it all, though.
Bring us up to date on this one, won’t you? Use the comments section to report your number from the above list, and share your thoughts on picky eaters.
Before I go, I want to alert you to something very cool. Producer Zipp (who does an expert job making my podcast sound semi-professional) and his comedy partner Bob have produced a radio drama called Beer Run. Zipp wrote the script, and the two of them perform all the characters. It’s hilarious, and highly recommended. Check it out here. It’s about fifteen minutes long, and is very creative and funny. Give it a listen!
And I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!
Tofu burgers are alright if they made by someone who is good at making them. I have some neighbors that do not cook and get food delivered to their house everyday. That amazes me. I can’t stand fish. It’s the smell. Or any seafood.
I ate a bat once. i was at a party on guam and there was a loaded food table. I thought it was a guinea fowl or small chicken and I was munching away and a local guy asked “you like da bad?” no , no I replied is good! no haole, is bad like badman and robin. actually was pretty good,
I am pretty sure I ate that and some other crawling type things in the Philippines back in the 1980s.
Pretty sure I’ve never had snails or tofu. I would try them if offered. Otherwise everything on the list is a go for me.
I score a 0, but I’d prefer not to eat beets, and a childhood allergy has made me lose my taste for watermelon. Escargot is basically an innocuous, mushroom-like base to slather with butter, garlic, and cheese.
I’ve totally had it with parents of kids who only eat like 2 things, such as chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers. Infants will eat whatever is fed to them; they don’t drive. When they become toddlers, they’ll continue to eat what you give them, unless you start with the “what would you like” crap. But then it’s too late, and they grow-up to be weird, difficult people. We need to start a movement.
4 points on the liver, avocado, mayo, and olives. I’ve tried them all, and like you Jeff, I’ll let mayo slide on a burger, but never on a sandwich.
How about foods you never used to like, but REALLY like it now. Mine is blue cheese!
Wow! Blue cheese! That’s new.
Liver and Nutella for me, so just 2. Nutella comes off as crazy sweet to me and could only tolerate 1 taste.
Don’t care for beets and white chocolate but learning to tolerate beets, especially in a salad. White chocolate only as an ingredient and not straight. Again, crazy sweet.
Beets are too much work for a taste that I don’t really care for. Even wearing gloves I managed to get purple hands. Screw that.
Brussels sprouts I can’t eat either. Tried about 5 different recipes (which my husband loved) but handed the bowl to him after each one.
I don’t think I ever ate a coconut. I’ve still got that stale Mounds bar in my desk drawer. Does that count?
When I was a teenager I would go to the store a couple times a summer and buy a whole coconut and come home and eat it over a couple of days. I didn’t bother to drill they eyes and pour the milk out: the milk is OK if you’re on an island without a water source, but it’s the white stuff that’s great, so I’d just take my dad’s biggest hammer and whack the hell out of the thing on the front sidewalk. Then pick up the pieces, wash them, and chow down. I haven’t thought of that in years.
I guess I’d still like coconut in that form. It might be time for the neighborhood to see an old man with a cane and a hammer beating a helpless fruit on the front sidewalk. They already suspect me of eccentricity for playing King Crimson at top volume and banging my steering wheel until the album finishes, then getting out of the car and limping slowly into the house. Can’t dance anymore, but I can damn well play the entire dashboard to “In the Court of the Crimson King”.
John
nota bene: As of ten years ago, King Crimson (or their lineal descendants) were still playing that album live, using three drummers. They toured with one in 1969, but what’s left of their fans are so deaf . . . well, 1969 was a pretty good year.
John
I had the chance to see King Crimson several years ago at the Birchmere. Adrian Belew sang, but at the previous night’s show (which was recorded for a live album) Adrian had a sore throat and so didn’t sing. Fripp, as usual, was a prima donna; exemplia gratia Keith Jarrett.
I was dragged by a couple of hipster couple friends on a two hour excursion to see Keith Jarrett in 1972 at what is now Western Washington State University in Bellingham, Washington, playing solo with no opening act in the conservatory of the music department, which was an elegantly and acoustically appointed theater in the round seating 1,500 or so.
I smoked then, so I had reason to exit the conservatory with increasing frequency as the evening wore inexorably on. I discovered that if I didn’t stay outside for a second smoke that I’d return to Keith playing not the same phrase he had been playing when I departed, but the same note. I can attest with assurance that that night, Keith Jarrett murdered some innocent musical scores with the sustain pedal in the conservatory.
On the two hour ride back to Seattle, the two couples discussed Keith’s adroitness at creating a lush atmosphere in the conservatory and marveled at his skill. Somebody asked me how I liked the concert. I just said, “Too bad the drummer and bass player cancelled.”
I don’t think the hipsters knew what the hell I was talking about, and, since we subsequently chose different paths in life, I’ve not had an opportunity to pursue the matter.
I assert that anybody who co-wrote and played 21st Century Schizoid Man has to be a step above the man I witnessed committing a capital offense against an innocent piano that spring night in Bellingham, nolo contendere.
John
Also, madz, you might think about changing glove vendors. If beets can get through it’s likely that Coronavirus can as well. I know, you’re Superwoman and can’t be infected by the damn stuff, but a pound of prudence is worth about a buck-thirty-five.
You might consider the kind of gloves that say on the outside, “Plutonium Safe”. That should cover most of the food list above. Come to think about it, I guess if it said that on the inside you’d never see it. I’ll write this advice to the Atomic Energy Commission prontodente. Damn, I hope they’re not busy working the border.
John
Brussels roasted with minced shallots and bacon until slightly charred are a household staple…. that only I eat.
Got 15 so I guess that makes me picky. I do not eat seafood, though, and like 6 items on this list fall into that category – sigh.
Zero for me. I’ve had everything on the list, and like all of it. Whatever my mother cooked, I ate it, and she cooked everything.
Tried everything and my number is 4. I would also add goose liver pate, pickled herring, limburger cheese, oysters, and sweet potatoes to the foods to avoid list. Not a fan of offal, I’d take a steak any time.
Tofu is good if prepared correctly. We went to a Chinese restaurant and got the Kung Pao tofu. Crunchy on the outside and warm and creamy on the inside.
I worked with a guy who never ate a green bean because he know he wouldn’t like it. Hard to argue with logic such as that.
My number is 1…raw fish. Everything else on the list I either like or am fine with. As for picky eaters, as long as I don’t have to cook for them, I can tolerate them.
I’ve eaten everything on that list. I don’t care for cauliflower or beets, but I’ll have a little for courtesy’s sake if necessary. And if you say “liver” I’ll say “gross,” but foie gras is straight up awesome. I like a liver pate as well. I guess that’s 2.5 points for me.
3 for me- Brussel sprout, cauliflower, and coffee. You can also add broccoli (it’s the devils toilet brush). In general vegetables taste like sadness.
I’m not taking a point for liver because I’m lumping in Foie Gras. That stuff is delicious. Beef and other livers I don’t care for.
If a meat can be safely eaten raw, that’s how I want it. Beef, fish, and lamb are all fantastic raw. Lamb especially. The middle eastern restaurants around here make Kibbeh Nyeh, which is ground lamb and cracked wheat with spices. Unbelievably good.
One the garlic front, those restaurants also make a garlic paste that’s served as a condiment. It’s whipped sunflower oil with enough garlic mixed in to peel paint. Also fantastic.
Olives are practically a staple in my house.
Eggs are only edible in highly adulterated omelettes. Otherwise they taste bad and have horrendous texture.
Also, I’m not going to ever eat a bug with the exception of shellfish- shrimp, crabs, and lobsters; nor will I eat a worm/larva unless it’s a genuine post apocalyptic survival situation.
Liver, oysters, raw fish and snails. I don’t like any seafood or fish in general except for the rare plate of fish & chips and a once in blue moon crab cake.
Not on the list but I can’t be in the same room when lamb is cooking. As a kid I hated it and even though I tried it well into my 30s, I just said fukkit and decided it will never pass my lips again.
I have tried venison, rabbit and duck but drew the line at squirrel and goose. Goose has a very strong gamey scent and as for squirrel No, not happening. My husband tried a few odd things at a game dinner (beaver and some other critter I can’t remember). I’m past the point of being adventurous. I keep it simple – beef, chicken, pork. And Cheez its.
Love the Buffalo flavored Cheez-Its. Could eat the whole box at one sitting.
Done it! But I prefer the original. Tried the extra crispy and the whole grain. The flavored ones didn’t really impress me much. Just give me the originals and I’m a happy gal!
I’m big on the Cheez-Its Extra Toasty. Love’em!
Weird thing – I had venison – or “venison” – in a restaurant, and it had a strange and not very pleasant liver-like flavor. But venison I’ve had when friends have shot deer has been completely fabulous.
Madz, did you ever end up moving to Rhode Island? I know you just said you don’t do seafood, but I think it would be worth seeking out a taste of the local clam chowder. I call it Noank-style, some call it Rhode Island style. It has no tomatoes and no cream; pass the milk separately. My dad’s family are from that neck of the woods, and chowder has been a family tradition for over 100 years.
Last I checked, a good example was available at the Seahorse in Noank Connecticut. It’s next to Spicer’s Marina. Probably 10 or 15 minutes from the RI state line.
Hi Chill – didn’t full time move to Rhode Island yet but I’m heading up there this weekend. My husband loves the chowder. I’ll pass as I cannot tolerate the squishy consistency of clams. I do like baked stuffed clams, though, but only if the clams are minced. Yeah, I’m a pain in the ass!
We are not ready yet to go out dining but if we grab some to go,that may be in the plans this weekend.
I was unfamiliar with Nutella. When I saw the name I swear I thought it was a transgender Disney Princess, but, alas, I looked it up and was wrong.
Once we get into the habit of shaming people for arbitrary things like what they like to eat, what kind of beer they drink, their height, and their skin color (to pick four random attributes) it starts to become a habit. We can shame people for being different or celebrate diversity, but we can’t very well do both. What the fuck do you care what somebody else eats?
I walk with a limp and a cane, prefer Tillamook ice cream, and open doors for women. There’s plenty there to make fun of. Have at it.
best as always,
John
I’d make fun of you if you didn’t open doors for women. But that’s just me. I grew up holding doors open for anyone behind me and hurrying to open the door for the elderly or handicapped.
I don’t care for olives, snails, shrimp and oysters but I have eaten them all. I had some shrimp recently because I was told it was especially good shrimp, and no, it wasn’t.
I cannot stand bananas but try one every year just to make sure they’re still nasty. They are.
I know someone in their 50’s who pretty much eats chicken nuggets for dinner every day.
Limey,
As a man of the world, you are probably aware that bananas, as we know them, are going away; they have, perhaps, a decade of life as a harvestable species left. Sure, something like the Cavendish banana currently commercially harvested will take its place, but it will taste different. On the one hand, I guess you won’t miss them when they’re gone; on the other hand, you might want to have a banana milkshake or two while you can. I won’t outlive the demise of the Cavendish as a global harvestable species, but you likely will. It would be appropriate to peel one of the last bananas, take it by the shaft, say, “Here’s looking at you, kid” and jam it down your throat. Please give it my best wishes.
John
John,
I was aware a few years back about fears that bananas could go extinct, and that we had taken steps to prevent/delay that. It seemed to me to be a wasted opportunity to rid our planet of the banana scourge. It’s like having a rescue center and breeding program for ticks.
However, I do like the banana ice cream that comes with a local restaurant’s dessert.
Hear, hear!
At least bananas don’t burrow into your flesh, but they are every bit as desirable as ticks. Or used car salesmen. Or managers who shout obscenities at you.
Chill,
Bananas rarely fill the automatic transmission with sawdust or turn back the odometer. OK, maybe that one time, but that case is on a peel.
best wishes,
John
John, even for you that is low quality word play! 🙂
Or a bunch of shit, ripe for condemnation, etc etc
Jeff,
I just visited the “about” tab on your banner, and I noticed that it has been a while since you updated it. You don’t need to hear advice about all the shit you should be doing while you’re busy with Netflix, but it occurred to me that somebody might fly by and be attracted to the update or something, and could become a paying customer. But when they go to the “about” tab, there’s no mention of the podcast. OK, it’s not my cup of tea, but many people enjoy it and you should get paid for all the years of daily updates if nothing else. So you might consider putting that addition on your list.
By the way, the “about” page is edited to within an inch of its life. I remember two or three versions of that page over the last 15 years or so, and I know you worked hard on the first version. If you gave that text to a professional editor he’d say, “Hey, that shit’s already edited. It’s perfect; just change “fart joke” back to “dick joke” and you’re good to go. It’s some fineass writing.
best wishes,
John
I only had one on the list. Liver… I can’t remember if I’ve ever had snails but I’d give them a shot before I said they were a no.
Grant Imahara was a first class EE, a pioneer roboticist, a patient, clear explainer, a talented television presenter, and, by every account available, a funny, decent, genuinely nice man. He only made it to 49, but made good use of the time he had, spreading the joy of STEM around the world, building Geoff Peterson for Craig Ferguson, crushing countless, less fortunate fighting machines with his robot Deathblow on BattleBots for a decade, and charming us with his genuine love of science, technology and life on Mythbusters for another decade. He brought joy and honesty and energy to everything he did.
In celebration of his life and in sadness that, as usual, he left the party early,
John
That’s a damned shame. I’ve known one or two people like him, and they are gems.
I’m a third-class EE, but I’ve made it way past 49 while pursuing things much less worthwhile.
Raising a glass to Grant. It would be Glen Grant if I had any.
RIP Charlie Daniels.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEKMED-_2QQ
R.I.P. John Lewis
Right on, Clue. Those redneck cops beat the shit out of him on national TV, but they couldn’t beat the integrity out of him. Even after being nearly clubbed to death by small town southern pinheads on several occasions, John Lewis insisted that peaceful resistance represented the surest path to freedom and equality. The fight isn’t over, but John Lewis and the Black leaders of his generation led the way.
John
He got smacked in the head 57 years ago, what did he accomplish since then? Did he sponsor any major legislation? Did he sponsor any minor legislation? I heard 3 different obits this morning and I have not heard ONE thing. 34 years in Congress and he did nothing. But here comes 3 funerals.
I guess while we’re at it, RIP Charlie Daniels.
RIP Mary Jo Kopechne. 51 years ago today.
I used to have a cat named Teddy; he couldn’t drunk drive either.
Dr Kay,
I would like to suggest that you and all decent people try “Wickles” pickles. Sweet pickles with a slight kick. They’re delicious and I’m heavily invested in the company.
3 points: brussels sprouts (the devil’s vegetable part 1), eggplant (part 2), and grapefruit. Everything else I eat pretty regularly and enjoy. I guess I am not a fussy eater.
My offspring have been eating sushi since they were toddlers, so that tells you what kind of household I live in.
And if you are married to a Russian woman, you will learn to like beets. No questions, move along.
As July fades into August in the Great Pacific Northwest (and, I suppose in other areas of the northern hemisphere and beyond), I look through the screened open window of my home office at the day-blooming, night scented nicotiana, the now-fading poppies, the bright orange blooms of the nasturtiums, the reds and pinks and whites of the roses, and the ripening tomatoes and wonder how many days in a row it’s been between 78 and 82 degrees with a light cooling breeze and a relative humidity of nearly 50%. I suppose a change would be nice, but this will do until one comes along.
Unable to connect with the podcast, I am relegated to checking out the list of picky eaters’ foods at the top of this column again. I am beginning to see it as a sort of demented game of Jeopardy, with some palooka from Green Bay, Wisconsin saying, “Art, I’ll take mushrooms for 80.” I had an unfortunate incident with magic mushrooms back in the 70s that has prevented me from eating any kind of fungus since, but that’s a story for another day, as is Art Fleming who went for double jeopardy a couple of pretty silly decades ago.
Those of us who still read and don’t snort hydroxychloroquine in one last fatal attempt to achieve Nirvana or Sleater-Kinney, just to mention a couple of the locals, wonder whether Jeff has retired or will post an August update. If the man couldn’t write it wouldn’t matter.
I wish you all a masked but peaceful summer.
John
It appears the podcast has taken the priority.
Thanks Jerry. I’m sure you’re right. That little comment of mine you responded to was about as long as an update and took me about 8 minutes to write, including rereading and editing. And I still had time to piss and take the dog for a walk, had I had a dog instead of many cats. There are time priorities and financial priorities. This might be one of those.
Stay well, my brother.
John
R. I. P. Wilford Brimley. At least he didn’t let the diabeetus get him.