So, what are the rules on cutting down a whole shitload of trees? Say you’re put in charge of such a project, your boss has handed you a work order for the extraction of “a whole shitload of trees,” right in the middle of a residential area. What do you think is a reasonable time to start-in with the extracting?
Yeah, all I can say is… 7 am is too early. I climbed atop the dormancy platform at 3:30 this morning, and the sawing, grinding, and nasal profanity kicked-off at 7:00. I could put a full eggplant in each of the bags under my eyes…
In fact, they’re still going to town out there, hours later. What the hell, man? It seems improbable, but I’m fairly certain Ernest T. Bass is involved.
On Saturday we went to the white trash jamboree commonly known as a “flea market.” Our oldest wanted to buy a pocket knife, and couldn’t find anything he liked at Wal-Market or Dick’s (heh). So we briefly submerged ourselves in the land of hyper-extended tube tops, skin grafts, and terrifying coughing jags.
The Secret bought his knife, and we lectured him about it all the way to the car. Toney: “One wrong move, and that thing will be mine — forever.” And Toney’s not known for her empty threats.
As we were exiting the parking lot, I noticed something odd in my peripheral vision. It seemed like someone had just gone balls-over-tits between a minivan and a 1974 Plymouth Scamp with one aquamarine door.
What the? I turned and saw two old people (and I mean old) in a tangled mess on the blacktop. It was a wriggling pile of wrinkled skin, with two feet bicycling straight-up.
I slammed my car into park, and went running. “Do you folks need some help?” I yelled, before reaching the oldster heap. “Help me! Oh god, heeeelp!!” a gravelly female voice answered.
She’d previously been seated in a wheelchair, it appeared, and it looked like her husband had fallen across her for some reason. They were all tangled up, and the woman’s face was mashed flat on the pavement, her mouth all distorted like Buddy Hackett’s.
The old man, who had military tattoos on his forearms, extracted himself from the mess, and I hoisted the woman and wheelchair back to their preferred positions. It didn’t take much effort, because she only seemed to weigh about sixty pounds.
They both said they were OK, and the man appeared to be more embarrassed than anything. He’d probably fought in WWII, kicked ass all his life… and now this indignity. He said he’d twisted his ankle on something, and fallen on his wife.
I asked if they were hurt, about three more times, and finally left. I could tell he just wanted me to leave them alone, so I did.
I felt bad for both of ’em, but especially him, for some reason. When he got out of bed that morning, I bet he had no idea he’d be break-dancing in a flea market parking lot later in the day. I mean, that dude was fully-inverted.
Do you have any Good Samaritan stories to tell? How’d it turn out? Use the comments link below.
Also, why are you not allowed to take pictures inside a flea market? Every time I go to one (it’s quite rare) there are signs everywhere that warn me not to take photographs. What’s that all about? Is it because half of the vendors, and two-thirds of the customers, are on the run from the law? What do you think?
My inner-sensors are telling me the retro Smoking Fish shirts will be available soon. I haven’t heard from the T-Shirt Lady yet, but have a feeling they’ll be ready by week’s end. I ordered about ten extra of both XL and 2X, so if you want one, don’t delay. This really is a limited edition, as opposed to “limited edition.”
Three excellent links received via the Surf Report email box today: this one, this one, and this one.
Great stuff! Thanks folks, as always.
And I’ll bring this mess to an end with a questionable Question: Do you ever order food off the internet?
I sometimes buy British candy through Amazon, but that’s about it. Oh, and when we first moved to California from Atlanta years ago, and were feeling homesick (homesick!), we found a website that sold Vidalia onions. They’re a Georgia delicacy, and we wanted some, dammit.
I can’t remember how much it cost, but it was a lot, for very little. The box only contained about six onions, and the California agriculture people confiscated at least two. So, we got four onions, for something like twenty bucks. It was outrageous.
And the punchline? A few days later we were in Costco, and saw a massive floor display of Vidalia onions, for something like 89 cents per pound. I almost dropped a rectal plate.
So, if you’ve got anything on mail-order food, bring us up to date on it.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Have a great day, boys and girls.
FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Wow – top 10!!!
We order food all the time off the internet. If you order pizza online from PapaJohns.com, you usually get a much better price than just picking up the phone and calling in an order. Plus you don’t have to deal with an idiot who barely speaks english.
Top 500!
This event must be categorized under the heading of Neato!
TREE! Oh, sorry Jeff.
I had some good samaritans rescue ME about 2 months ago, I fell outside my office building and chipped a bone and sprained my ankle. While I was laying in what I would call “the whale” position, some smokers came outside and immediately rushed to help me. I am an ex-smoker, so you know that no one is more disdainful of the poor huddle of people outside office buildings….no more-hurray smokers-keep on puffin’, and thank you!
My favorite online food purchase is cheesecake from the Carnegie Deli – it’s awesome cheesecake and I think pretty good value even including the delivery.
Got a tuducken sent to me Fed Ex.
Hump Day Top Ten?! Woo Hoo!
I got another link for ya: http://ifitshipitshere.blogspot.com/2009/09/peter-rolfes-sculpted-wood-human-form.html
What in the polyurethaned hell? Don’t know if I’d like storing my socks in someone’s ass cheeks.
Anyway, as for good Samaritan deeds, one night several years ago I found a woman lolling around on an ice-laden parking lot with her ankle twisted six different ways of wrong. As this was before cellphones, I ran into a nearby store and had them call an ambulance. Then I went back out, covered her with my coat, and stayed with her until the ambulance arrived. That’s all I got.
I’ve ordered candy, cereal, tea, and mashed potatoes online. Yes, that was quite a party.
Yeah, living in the Haight Ashbury for over 20 years you see people lying on the ground all the time. I don’t bother to check anymore. And I was POSITIVE there was a dead guy lying in front of the library the other day. I was walking the Beast and the guy had his head in the gutter and the rest of him was on the sidewalk. Still in that position when I walked by again about an hour later. Meh. I kept walking. Nothing to see here…
Happy Wednesday, Surfers!
Just some No Man’s Land Beef Jerky. It is the best stuff ever and hard to find around Tulsa.
Try to always help when ever I can. It makes ya feel good inside. Returned 3 different wallets, money intact. Called the law when someone was breaking into a car in a parking lot. Did the heimlich Manuever on a choking kid at scouts, pulled a strangers baby outta the lake when she fell off a dock in February.
But I do laugh at people when they fall down. Its funny no matter how awkward or painful.
I drug an old man out of Spring Creek in Forest County once on the opening day of trout. Cold as hell and he had chest waders half full of ice water. Old bastard gave me hell cause I was taking time not to crush his ribs as I was plucking his ass out. I lost about 500 meal worms running to get him out. And he had the balls to bitch…fucker.
Why aren’t the nipples the drawer pulls? All new meaning for junk in the trunk.
Yes, I’ve purchased lots of food on the Internet. Dried fruit from Amazon (cherries, blueberries, prunes, etc.). Frozen tuna steaks shipped straight from Alaska. Pizza from a local pizza shop (ya place the order online, and they deliver it). Groceries from a local grocery store when I had a broken ankle a few years ago and couldn’t get around too easy. Citrus fruits from a company in Florida. Wilbur Buds chocolates from a place that specializes in Pennsylvania products (Amish crap and whatnot). Pumpkin seeds form a place that specializes in nuts’n’shit. I could probably go on and on, but you get the picture (too much of it, probably).
Actually they were salmon steaks, not tuna, now that I think about it. (As if anyone gives a shit.)
At 5:30 this morning I woke up to what I thought was an AWAC warming up for takeoff in my driveway.No, just m neighbor warming up his fancy-ass 10,000 dollar Japanese mower. Yea. It runs on some kind of high energy bio mass and supposedly has to run at like, 30,000 RPMs. Why? And moreover, why at 5:30 in the AM?
I’ve ordered Country Sweet sauce by the gallon. They’ll overnight it anywhere in the world. 🙂
I tried, God I tried, to be a good samaritan recently. Was on I-75 heading toward Tampa, and saw two people, a male and female, walking along the interstate. I never saw a car in the previous mile that was stranded, so I thought they may have walked for miles to get to this point. I pulled over and asked if they needed help. Dude, who looked about 16, told me they had been dropped off about three miles back and were looking to get to St. Pete. Now, I had already passed the St. Pete exit, which goes back south again, so I told him that I could take him north and he could get there from Tampa if someone else gave him a ride. Dudette, who looked about 12, told me that they needed to get home quickly, as her mother had threatened to take their child to Child Services, as they had been in Miami for three days and she was just tired of taking care of the little bastard.
Against better judgement, I took the next exit and headed to St. Pete. These two looked like they had been up smoking crack for days, but a child was at stake. Maybe the child would have been better off at Child Services, I thought, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Once I got into St. Pete, they kept giving me directions that took me to a familiar area, the hood. They couldn’t give me an exact location of their house. No address. Nothing. Then, the Dudette started crying and said she never wanted to leave home, but Dude talked her into it. Then, no one said a word for miles, as I crossed the Skyway Bridge and headed toward Bradenton, where I dumped them off at the Civic Center in Palmetto. I didn’t know where they were from, but I figured they could get someone else to drive them there. Not about to get caught up in a runaway dilemma. Never made it to Tampa that day. Never look twice at someone walking again and think they could use a lift.
I broke down and ate a whole pizza for lunch today. I justified it as treating myself for all the weight loss. I feel like an alcoholic now, going on a binge. Back on the wagon tomorrow.
On IPOD right now- “Pepper”- Butthole Surfers
Why no cameras at flea markets? Around here, half the merchandise on display has been liberated from someone else’s house or apartment.
They don’t bother with signs at the Berkeley/Oakland flea market, though. If you pull out a camera, one of the merchants will simply remark, “That’s a good way to get shot.”
Top 52 – put one in the win column!
I’ve done plenty “good” things for other people, but the older I get, the less enthralled I am with going out of my way for others. I’ve discovered on more than one occasion that the road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions.
It sucks to lose your rose colored glasses.
Jeff, I feel your pain. I woke up this morning to chainsaws and wood chippers at the park across the street. It’s a fucking park, aren’t the trees supposed to stay?
I once mowed the lawn of the little old lady next door because she was spending a lot of time at the hospital with her dying husband. She never new it was me because the hilljack who lived in the efficiency apartment at the back of her house took credit for it. Guess she never wondered where he got the mower since her kids had always brought theirs over. I never told her otherwise. That same hilljack also stole my hedge clippers.
I ordered a Junior’s cheesecake once. I thought it tasted like the cardboard box it came in. I have also ordered Corky’s ribs. Two years later, I still have a package in the freezer. Damn those QVC bastards!
As I was on my way to pick up some takeout I walked passed a homeless guy with a “hungry, please help me” sign. I was going to be walking back on the same route so I ordered double, a meal for me and a meal for him. Gave him his free dinner and the fuckwad threw it across the street. I guess you can’t get high off a cheeseburger deluxe. So fuck you homeless people – stop smoking crack, take a shower and go get yourselves a job.
passed, past, ugh.
My biggie was holding a mans neck steady after a motercycle crash on the interstate for 45 min. while talking w/ him and keeping him awake & with us. He turned out fine just some broken bones.
I was told by a CPR instructor that I have no lung power and “for gods sake if theres anyone over 12 let them do the breathing in an emergency.” So I do.
My Dad picked up a guy and gal on the interstate in Jan. & on the drive inquired about what the kid was packin in his coat. After much heming & hawing he confessed to 4 feet of boa, gotta keep ’em warm ya know. My dad offered that live animals were the sort of thing you warned folks about before accepting a ride, even in sub 0 weather.
My hubby once tried to help a gal on the interstate with a broken down car. It was fall & chilly, dusk and he was not going to leave her alone. She refused to let him within a car length of her and proceded to scream and cuss and declare her refusal to be raped. My hubby was understandably confused but finally threw the nut job his wallet to prove who he was (some local dude) and that he had a wife (cuz that proves your not a rapist) and then told her they were going to have a long cold damn night unless she got her ass in the truck. Just then a HP showed up lights blazen to investigat the “man threatning some poor gal on the side of the road”. My hubby grabbed his wallet back and wished the officer the best of luck with nut girl.
Corky wants his ribs back, RNK.
Last year during annual training, I heard about some awesome pizza deal from a fellow soldier. 3 Large 2 topping for some ungodly cheap price. I think it was Dominoes.
I called the store, told them what I wanted and explained the deal as it was explained to me.
They told me that they didn’t offer that deal over the phone and I would have to order it over the internet! I asked it it would come from that store and the guy said yes!
WTF!? I had to run around and find someone with internet access on their phone, because we were at the firing range and you won’t usually find the internets there.
I asked the delivery guy, and he confirmed that the pizzas DID come from the same store I called. WTF?
I never help anyone…..ever.
Limey, I got taken by the fucking crackheads that were “hungry” three times, during the first time I lived in Florida. My wife, who is gullable and has the soul of a saint, convinced me all three times to give these pieces of shit downtown some money for food, as they all gave us the standard “I haven’t eaten in two days” line. Don’t know what happened to the first one, but several months later, we followed the second one and he obtained more money from someone else and went down an alley for a deal. The third one, a few months later, took his jackpot to the liquor store. Never since, and never again, will I hand out money to the scum that line the downtown sidewalks here.
On IPOD right now- “Mr. Self Destruct”- Nine Inch Nails
I have my good samaratin story but it is way too long to post here. I will have it posted on my blog later. It basically entails the rescue of over 70 Vietmanese refugees. Nothing really big.
I don’t have any good samaritan stories as I am kind of bitch. But I do order Salt Lick BBQ in Driftwood TX online for my hubby every year. Well, it is kind of self serving since I make him cook it and share it with me. What? I said I was a bitch…
City bylaws dictate noise. Our allowable noise hours is 7am-10pm. Construction equipment noise in residential areas until 6pm. Not our fault you night owls sleep during the day…
This morning I was stopped at a traffic light next to a young couple smoking in their car with the windows closed and with two babies in the back seat. You can’t buy class like that. My good s’maritan deed involved giving them such a look…
I was at the mall a few weeks ago and there was this kid, maybe 14 years old, sitting on the sidewalk by the entrance crying like a baby. So I asked him what was wrong and he said, “I have two sisters who are having birthdays tomorrow and I’m supposed to buy them both a present.” I asked if the sisters were twins, they were. So I asked him why he was crying and he said that he had a fifty dollar bill for each sister’s present and some punks took one of the fifties from him.
After talking to him for another minute or so I got out of him that his dad wouldn’t be back to pick him up for another hour or so and he didn’t think he could by two gifts for $50. So I took his other $50 and got in my car and left.
I was on the boardwalk in AC when a down-on-his-luck type asked if I could spare $5.00. Naturally being a bit suspicious in Dirty Vegas I asked him what he needed the money for. He explained that his wife was sick and he needed the money to buy her some medicine. Not the usual “haven’t eaten in days” excuse so I thought it might be a true story. I started to reach into my pocket when my cynical side asked ” How do I know you won’t use this money for gambling ?” He reassured me, “Oh, I’ve GOT gambling money!”
Wocka-Wocka-Wocka !!!
We order food from the interweb all the time. I order BBQ from Coulter’s in Dallas fairly often. We order Godiva chocolates too. My wife shops at some site called GermanDeli.com and I shop at Foodireland.com
We like buying things online that you can’t get anywhere else.
I helped this lady at “The Kroger’s” one time. It was pouring down rain and she was stuffing bags in her trunk without an umbrella. So I went up with my umbrella and told her I’d load them while she sat in her car. She tried to give me $20 but I told her no.
Ordering food from the Internet. Assuming non-takeout, yes: Dr. Pepper, available at http://www.dublindrpepper.com/. Made with real sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup. Very expensive at $15 per case, so not something you’d want to do every day. But worth every nickel when you do.
I have two Good Samaritan stories.
The first one happened when I was about 20. I was home from college and my little brother was home sick from school with mono.
I went up the road to the video store to rent some movies for him. As I was walking around the corner of the store from the parking lot I spied a little grey tumbleweed across the road.
When I looked closer, it was the top of an old ladies head. She was face down and appeared to have fallen while crossing a side street on the other side of the 4 lane road we were on. She was sort of wiggling around, trying to get up and so I went running over, knelt down and asked her if she was alright.
She looked up at me with a pretty good scrape on the bridge of her nose and said “I’m drunk!” in the kind of old-lady voice that is only possible after years of cigarettes and whiskey use.
Crap.
She was wearing a jacket with the logo of a bar across the street, so when someone else stopped to help I went over there and asked if anyone knew her. They did, and said they “hate that old bitch”.
Unbelievable.
The guy who stopped to help was still there when I came back so he helped me get her up and he drove her home.
Story number 2
A few months ago my wife and I were on an interstate going to drop The Peanut off at my mother-in-laws house.
As we approached the cloverleaf interchange to another highway we saw a car up on the embankment just past the off ramp but before the overpass. The driver’s door was open and there was a woman lying on the ground while another woman holding her head.
We pulled over and as I was getting close another guy started rolling up what looked like an envelope and was yelling “Open her mouth!” I asked if she was seizing, was told yes, and told him not to put anything in her mouth and to just let her seize.
I jumped over the ditch and asked what happened. Envelope guy told me something, and over the traffic noise I hear “shot herself”. Shit. So now I’m looking for blood and I asked him to say it again. He tells me she shot herself up with something and points to the car. On the driver’s seat is an insulin needle and a tiny Ziploc baggie. Shit again. The guy said they saw her just swerve across the road and stop on the embankment.
I knelt down, checked her breathing and pulse and then looked at her pupils. She was OK but very clearly stoned and totally out of it.
A state trooper and the paramedics showed up just then. I just walked away.
Seriously, I know you’re an addict, but even so, shooting up on a road where the speed limit is 70 MPH and most cares are going closer to 80!?! WTF! It was incredible that she didn’t kill anyone. And I’ll bet she was pretty pissed when the ER gave her some Narcan and totally killed her high.
So apparently I only rescue people with addiction issues.
Been thru the tree crap, they don’t give a shit and continue to keep on working when you complain.
Ordering food off the internet, my favorite is David’s Cookies. I got some for my brother and sister in law a couple of year ago when they bought a new house, Ihad them delivered to the attornies office for hte closing. According to my brother he offered everybody 1 then took the rest and hid them. I sent them more for my sister in laws birthday in May and my nephew had half the 3lb tin eaten before she got home from work.
Try them out http://www.davidscookies.com
Can’t think that I’ve ever purchased food on the Internet, but I will drive ridiculous distances for it — the longest being 400 miles for sushi. I lived in Salt Lake City back then and my boyfriend, who had not been back home to Japan for a few years, was jonesing for the good stuff. There was acceptable Japanese food in SLC, but no good sushi bars. He convinced me to take a road trip to Vegas on the spur of the moment so that he could indulge himself. Hours later, we were eating ourselves into a delirium.
Good Samaritan stuff, aside from helping little old ladies get stuff off the top shelf in the grocery store or helping them find the right departure gate in an airport? I once called 911 when I saw a guy yelling at his girlfriend in the parking lot of a grocery store. He started to shove her around a bit and then tried to pull her into his truck against her will. I called 911 and kept my eye on them until the cops got there.
Another time, I was taking some visiting friends to do some of the touristy things in San Francisco. One of our last stops of the day was the Golden Gate Bridge, which my friends insisted on walking the whole way over. We parked on the Marin County end, and as we made our way to the San Francisco side, we passed a man alone just standing around, not looking anywhere but at his feet. I didn’t think anything of it until the return trip when I noticed him still standing there. The bridge is long so it takes a while to cross on foot. Most people stay for a few minutes, get their pictures and go about their business, but this man had been there for over an hour. As we passed him, he looked up at the passing cars and the expression on his face was odd. I got on the suicide hotline, told them about the guy, and my friends and I waited until bridge security arrived to talk to him. Don’t know if he was suicidal or not, but I didn’t want to find out the hard way.
Limey…..I live in New Orleans and the “hungry, please help” sign people have thier corners staked out on a regular basis. I did see a lady roll he rwindow down one day and give a guy $1 and 2-3 things of food items indivually wrapped. We happened to be going to the same Walgreens a few blocks up and I aksed her about it. She said she carries packages of Little Debbies, crackers and other things and give them $1 and a couple of food items. If they are hungry they will eat the food and use the money for a drink. I thought it was pretty cleaver.
I don’t have a Good Sam story to tell, but the wheel chair thing did remind me of something.
A few years back my wife needed hip replacement surgery. This stuff never comes at a good time and this one came after we’d already planned and paid for a vacation to Florida. We went to FL anyway and figured we’d do the best we could. Well I love it when you find out things that are good by accident. It seems that for a small fee you can rent a wheelchair at most amusement parks. What we didn’t know is that this is a ticket to the front of the line on any of the rides and attractions and it includes anybody that is with you!!
What a deal. So while at Sea World I pushed my wife around in the wheel chair and whenever we got to an attraction some attendent would come out and bend over backwards to help us. Shweet! We even got to pick the front seat on the rides.
Ever since then, my first stop at an amusement park is at customer services to rent a wheel chair. They don’t ask what your handicap is (They’re not allowed to) and I don’t tell them I have one. I just pile all of the shit in the wheel chair that I was just going to have to carry around anyway and head to the front of the line at all my favorite rides!!
I guess I am a Good Samaritan on a regular basis…
Once I saw a guy sitting by a fire hydrant on the side of the street. I turned around and went back to ask him if he was ok. It turns out that as soon as he got into Charleston he’d been robbed at the bus stop, hadn’t eaten for days and had no where to go. He’d sat down because he didn’t know what else to do. I got him in touch with a local church. We made sure he was fed, got him a hotel room for the night and the next day he went to the church. One of the people there helped him to get a temporary job, a place to stay and he earned enough to pay for bus fare back home.
I once offered a young woman and her two small children a ride when it was raining. After she got into the car, she threatened me with a knife and told me to give her all my money. When she saw I didn’t have any money in my purse, she broke down and cried. She said she was sorry and she shouldn’t have threatened me. She said she didn’t know why a white woman (she was black) would have even stopped to offer her a ride. I told her it was ok and asked her if I could help her out.She said she didn’t have anything to feed her kids so I took her to the grocery store and bought her some food. Then I brought her home to her apartment on the west side. It was so sad. The poor woman had nothing. I went back a couple of weeks later to see if she needed more food but she had moved out.
I have given people in front of me money to buy groceries when they’ve come up short…mostly the elderly (even though they torment me) and working mothers.
Those are just a couple of things I’ve done. I contemplated even telling about those. I don’t do it for recognition…
The NO Little Debbies lady should hand out a $1 and packets of fiery hot salted peanuts 🙂
If you like buying chocolates off the web these
http://www.hotelchocolat.com/
are great chocolates, way better than Godiva, in my lardass opinion.
Limey,
The hell you say! Better than Godiva? Really? We’re trying them. I’ll let you know what we think. I like to keep a box beside my bed, atop my mini fridge.
I don’t do the Good Samaritan thing anymore.
One weekend in the late 1980s, I was walking the two blocks to 7-eleven to buy cigarettes. On the way there, some street dude asks me for a dollar. I was in a good mood, so I gave it to him. Five minutes later I’m walking back, and the same dude stops me again. This time he has a huge smile and says, “Hey brother! You wanna smoke a rock?” I politely declined his generous offer and went home.
I can’t find boiled peanuts at any store around here, so I do order those online. And, we’ve ordered Domino’s pizza online a time or two.
I write on my blog about Subzi Mandi. You go in and get a 50lb bag of onions for less than $10.00 USD. My mother-in-law snickered. She said you cannot use 50lb of onions in time. I did use ~150lb of onions at that price. I bet that’s why I only date my wife!
Oh, the beauty of the onion. I could write Sonatas and Haikus about the onion, but for the fact that I really don’t understand iambic pentameter, and the Haiku is quite rigorous.
Am I the only one who couldn’t scrape two or three mouse or rat turds of care about Michael Jackson?
Keep up the good Work Jeff.
Colorado is hurting us, but then again, they do not suck.. Give us one win in CO Reds!
Greg in Cincinnati.
I order Peet’s Coffee online once in a while. A fresh cup of their Arabian Mocha Sanani is like tasting coffee for the first time…
Good Samaritan story: Growing up we lived at the edge of a long highway entrance/exit ramp, and cars always came of the ramp too fast for the turn near our house. About every 6 months or so there was an accident, sometimes with cars upside down on our front lawn. Our neighbors across the street had cars go into their living room – TWICE.
Anyhoo, one night a drunk in a pickup making a U-turn off the ramp slammed into a compact car and sent it flying across the road. We called the cops and I ran out to see what I could do. The woman inside was in her late 20’s and was okay except for tiny shards of glass decorating her face – it looked like glitter but with CSI blood spatter as an accoutrement. Her driver’s side door was bashed in and could not open, and I was afraid to damage her face further with the glass, so I told her to lay back while I lifted her backwards out the passenger door. We got her in the house (all of this before any cops show up), and my mom, who is a dentist, went down to her office and got some tools and started picking the glass shards one by one out of this girls face.
The cops were horrified to find an elderly female dentist administering first aid, more like surgery really, in the foyer of our home. However, it turned out they knew my sister through friends of friends, so all was eventually well. The cops treated the pickup driver like dirt, and this was back in the days when a DUI typically involved a slap on the wrist. I don’t think he got off lightly, though.
The woman’s face healed just fine – it turns out getting them out quickly without disturbing them really minimized the scarring. She had been traveling to meet her fiance – he came up to get her (she finally did go to the ER) and my mom got invited to their wedding.
Eventually everyone near the ramp put huge boulders in front of their lawns – so now cars careen off them and there is actually less, not more, carnage.
A few years back, we were in Manhattan on a steamy day in August. Around 3 pm, there was a massive power failure that pretty much shut down the city (and the entire East coast, as we would find out later). Not knowing what was really going on, and seeing that traffic was already at a standstill, we decided to head home for the day.
As we entered the parking garage to retrieve our car, we were approached by two women who were trying to get back home to New Jersey. Because none of the trains were running, and the ferries were horrifically overcrowded, the women were pretty much stranded. They were young and looked relatively harmless, so we decided to be Good Samaritans and help them out.
Turns out that everyone else in the parking garage that day would become Good Samaritans, whether they wanted to or not. Police were posted at the garage exit, along with a neverending line of stranded people. Each and every car was stopped upon exiting, and depending upon its destination, one or two (or even three) of the waiting folk would enter the car. I imagine that some of the drivers might have had a hard time with this, but we enjoyed our new passengers, and got to see a bit of Hoboken on our way home to Philly.
I was picking up a case of beer at the small local grocery store where my in-laws live. There was an old guy in front of me buying milk, fruit, bread etc. He was about 9 dollars short, I told the cashier to put the rest of it on my bill. We all gotta stick togetther ya know.
I buy caramel-covered marshmallows called modjeskas online: http://www.bauerscandy.com/category.cfm?Category=1
Yum!