I don’t know if you guys are aware of this, because it’s a fairly obscure fact, but Muhammad Ali was sometimes known as “the greatest.” Is that something you were hip to?
Holy mackerel! I don’t even watch much TV, and was totally burned out by the perma-repeat coverage of Ali’s death by Saturday afternoon. I don’t begrudge the level of tribute – he was a cultural icon and most famous person in the world at one time – but the way it’s being done causes my molars to grind.
For one thing… Can’t they come up with more than four or five clips of the man? There must be millions of hours of footage, right? Why the same things over and over again? It’s maddening.
Also, I don’t take too kindly to being schooled on the life of Muhammad Ali by a bunch of whistle-dicks who were probably born in 1994, and likely have only a vague notion of who he was. In fact, I’d bet money several of them had to do one final check on the correct pronunciation of his name, right before the cameras went live. And then they go on the air talking all authoritatively ‘n’ shit. “Ali was more than just a boxer…” Oh really? Who knew? Why don’t you go fuck yourself, Michael or Jessica or Christopher or Ashley.
And enough with “the greatest.” Everybody is aware that he called himself that, so you’re not providing any new information. And you’re not being clever, literary, or dramatic, either. It’s a giant cliché. So, knock it off already.
You know, it’s the phoniness that gets to me. Holden Caulfield was right. It’s why I get so agitated every time I look at Facebook, attend a meeting, or hobnob with the neighbors at a block party. I can handle a lot of things, but phoniness isn’t one of them. I feel like 75% of the population is performing at this point. Am I wrong?
Do you think I need counseling, or is this just an inevitable case of Get Off My Lawn-ism?
But anyway… I thought I’d take this opportunity to share my Muhammad Ali story. I’m surprised a local news crew hasn’t been here yet, to let me tell it live on the air. Oh, it’s a humdinger. (First time I’ve used that word on TheWVSR in 15 years? It’s possible.)
When I worked at the Dunbar Exxon, setting of A Convenience Story, Ali stopped in one afternoon. He and a group of folks were traveling on Interstate 64 in a Winnebago, or something similar, and bought gas from our humble emporium of snacks ‘n’ debauchery. He came into the store, and was very friendly. He spent time signing autographs and joking around with the customers and staff. Oh, it was a memorable day for everyone involved.
Unfortunately, I worked nights and wasn’t there when he came in. I never met the man. The end.
I’m available for corporate speaking gigs or participation in documentary films, etc. Just contact my public speaking agent, Toney. And bring a checkbook, dammit.
I’ll be back on Thursday, unless another celebrity dies between now and then, and the pressure becomes too much for me to handle. Am I the only one? Please tell me I’m not the only one.
Have a great day, my friends.
There is a cool photo of him on the WVU campus from the early 1970s – I think. A large group of students are following him around and he in the middle of yelling about something or the other.
I don’t understand why we celebrate a person who’s claim to fame is beating up other people. Then again, at least boxing is real. I dread the day Hulk Hogan dies.
i hate all the hand wringing on FB etc. from all the people who have never ever watched a boxing match saying fuck you 2016 taking all the greats from us. plays prince album for first time in 15 years and pretends to sob over their great loss.
This needs a “like” button.
Like
Yeah, exactly what we need. This blog isn’t nearly enough like Facebook.
jtb
It’s not just you. I don’t understand the level of hero worship. The fuck were all these people while he was alive? The same can be said of any celebrity death. Every time some Bieber-esque person speaks passionately about some celebrity being [insert inspiring adjective here], my eyes roll so hard it gives me a headache.
Oh OH OH and what I hate THE MOST are the people who try to draw attention away from the news to some random shit saying, “Well the media won’t tell you about THIS but this fucker here who no one knows is doing some important but mundane shit and deserves accolades too! Can I get a like and an amen! Share if your dog agrees!”
Also –
People who use such a thing as death to try and sell you something –
Muhammad Ali was a great boxer. My brother’s friend makes punching bags at home in his garage. You should see him today for a great deal.
I agree. Everyone seems to be putting on some sort of performance, rather than having any sort of honest conversation about anything. Moreover, they seem to want me to give a shit about their little show. Just last night I met a guy in my backyard (we had a little party of sorts, I didn’t know about half of the folks there, however). The guy actually said something to the effect of: “Not everything is black or white”. I shot back: “Actually, nothing is either black or white, you fukkin’ moron”. I held back before uttering the last three words. After my little rampage, I simply walked away from the guy.
Drives me crazy. Especially when said celebrity is done and over and I hear how much more they had to contribute. Yes, I remember the times and their contributions but they weren’t Buddy Holly. There was no more expected. Now STFU.
My biggest annoyance: My husband died just before Prince and was the same age. My husband was a drummer and a HUGE fan of Prince and so many people commented how the two of them were up there making music. I don’t do a lot of bullshit so was this bit of fiction supposed to be comforting? People don’t know what to say in “times like this” but nobody seems able to just stay quiet.
Dee,
Sorry for your loss.
John
Oh man Dee I’m so sorry. Reminds me when my dad stroked at 59. My mom hated it when someone would say “This isnt the retirement you hand in mind”. Saying nothing is better than saying something stupid. Whats wrong with saying “I’m so sorry”?
Dee so sorry about your loss. Hugs and kisses to you
Dee, I’m so sorry. I’m mildly bummed when a celebrity dies (whose work I liked), but if it’s someone you knew and loved it is orders of magnitude more. There is no comparison. Hang in there; we’re on your side.
Oh, and people need to stop saying “up there” and “looking down.”
Sorry for your loss.
Please stop calling historically important people celebrities. A celebrity is someone who is well known for being well known. And yeah, Facebook sounds horrid. Why, in Heaven’s name do you waste your time there?
Prince was a celebrity who played the guitar. Ali was at the center of the Civil Rights movement, which is in the process of ending 200 years of slavery and 150 years of Jim Crow, and of the anti-war movement which opposed a war that killed two million people, including 55,000 Americans and brought down two presidential administrations.
I really don’t watch TV, so I’m not burnt out on Ali stuff; actually, I thought the world was kind of being quiet about the death of a significant guy. I think I got this link from The Daily Beast:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HChbUMynkn8
Ali was an amateur magician throughout his adult life. And he refused to take one step forward at a time when Negroes weren’t supposed to refuse anything. There’s that too.
John
and one more . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7xtqRehNMc
Human Dies, World Astonished
I think I heard “floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee” roughly 842,731 times over the past few days. Gee, everyone is so poetic.
I thought he was dead already. He’ll always be Causeway Clop to me or whatever his Christian name was.
Nobody’s making a big deal that Kimbo Slice died. HE ALSO SAID HE WAS THE GREATEST!
Funny how I forget these things and when I remember them, but this one would have been good for ‘the celebrities you’ve met’ post. I shook the hand of the man that hit Ali, repeatedly, and managed to walk away.
I met George Chivalo. a few years ago, given the circumstances I think I was one of the few, maybe only person who talked to him about boxing rather than the others there for his ‘pep talk’. (I worked behind the scenes) Anyway, I work with my hands, so they’re not lacking for some gripping power, I know carpenters, builders, farmers, but it felt like my hand was a wet sponge when we shook, this massive hand on a guy who stood eye to eye to me, that felt like iron. Holy shit. I would not want to be on the recieving end of it in anger. Given Georges presence, can’t imagine what Ali’s presence was like, never mind getting hit by one of Ali’s mitts.