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An Update From The Walking Zombie

December 9, 2009 By Jeff 126 Comments

WalkingZombieI’m halfway through Chapter 21 of the book, and according to my casual (very casual) outline, there will be 25 chapters.  Today I surpassed 250 pages, which blows my mind, and am getting close to the minimum number of words I wanted to rack-up.

So, it’s going well, I suppose.  I didn’t meet my goal today, which kinda bothers me, but it snowed this morning and everything was delayed.  So, at least I have a good excuse.  Right?

More importantly, I think the story is holding up, and it’s pretty funny, overall.  I hope I’m not fooling myself, but I feel good about it.  And as most of you probably know, that’s not like me.

I want to have it finished by Friday night, so I can spend Saturday with the family.  That’s been the goal from the start.  But if I have to go into the weekend, I’ll do it.  The first draft of the book WILL be finished before I go back to work on Sunday.

I will return to that place with a completed novel under my belt, even if I blow a hole in the side of my brainstem doing it.

Last Sunday I went to the University of Scranton library, because they’re open until midnight, and I knew I could log some serious hours there.  I think the local public library is only open three hours on Sunday.  And what’s the point of that?

I got a lot of work done there, but felt like Chester the Molester sitting in the middle of all those 18 and 19 year old students.  Many of them were wearing pajamas, basically, which made me feel even pervier.  None of them acted like they noticed me, but I felt conspicuous, nonetheless.  So, I didn’t go back.

I’ve been spending entire days at the public library instead, from about 9:30 am until around 8:30 pm.  I only come out for a Wendy’s #1 with cheese, no pickles, and a Coke, at 1:00, and a large coffee at Starbucks at 5:00.  I have dinner at 9:00, at home.  And that’s been the schedule all week.

It’s weird, man.  When I get away from that library for a little while it seems like I’m inside a book.  When I walk to the counter at Starbucks, it feels like I’m writing the scene, not living it.  And it’s freaky.

So anyway, that’s the status.  Next week I’ll be back to the normal posting schedule here.  I appreciate you sticking with me through all this.  Thank you for the support, as always!

I mentioned that we got a little snow today — enough to close the schools and delay the opening of the library.  But it also triggered a decent Question of the Day, I think.

This morning Toney told me she wanted to shovel the driveway, by herself.  She said she’d take her iPod out there, and get a good workout.  Sounded good to me, but all kinds of red flags were going up.

“Tomorrow you’re not going to throw this in my face, are you?”  I wanted to know.

Because, you see, she brings up an incident from 2002 or 2003, involving snow shoveling, every freaking winter.  Supposedly I drove over the snow (didn’t shovel), and left it for her, on a day she had a sinus infection.

I have no recollection of this event, none whatsoever, but she sure does.  It’s become the gold standard: the event against which all other insensitive events are measured.  I don’t remember it, but will never live it down.

So, I’d like to know if you have any similar events in your background, which will never die with your spouse or significant other.  If so, tell us about it in the comments.

And for the record, I let Toney shovel for a while by herself, then went out and helped.  Hey, I’m not a complete idiot.

Have a great weekend, my friends.

Now playing in the bunker

Treat yourself today at Amazon!

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Comments

  1. AngryWhiteGuy says

    December 14, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    WB- I think I may have the colon of a newborn now.

    On IPOD right now- “When the Tigers Broke Free”- Pink Floyd

    Reply
  2. Al Gore's Ghastly Ass says

    December 14, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    Um Metton – I fixed the Internet earlier last decade. All is well. Now get me my update!

    Reply
  3. WB in OH says

    December 14, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    I’d like to second that Grrrr. Grrrr.

    Reply
  4. Garrett - g1g3m says

    December 14, 2009 at 3:45 pm

    I don’t know if it’s a result of global warming, or whatever. I knew it was going to happen – they have been slowly migrating all over Texas.

    This morning I spotted a Croc in my back yard. I wish Steve Irwin was still around.

    http://halfdillo.blogspot.com/2009/12/heres-pic-i-took-of-croc-in-my-back.html

    Reply
  5. Stephanie says

    December 14, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    “Sweet Sainted Mother of Bonnie Franklin…this was a GREAT read”! ~ Claire Franklin

    (Yes, Bonnie’s mother).

    heh

    Reply
  6. metten says

    December 14, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Fortunately, he texted it, so I can quote verbatim:

    “Can you please leave a comment at thewvsr letting everyone know our fucking internet is down? It’s been dead for 3 hours. Grrr…”

    So there you have it, Grrr with 3 rrr’s

    Reply
  7. DTO says

    December 14, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    He’da done more ‘rrrr’s but he was busy whipping his hands through his hair. It has grown back has’t it?

    JCIII…pick yourself up off the galley floor and go back to your seat. We’ll be landing soon. And bring some more bourbon with you!

    Reply
  8. Tammie says

    December 14, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    That’s an “r ” for each hour. I’m assuming that it’s a full blown “grrrrrrrr” by now.

    Reply
  9. Knucklehead says

    December 14, 2009 at 7:39 pm

    Okay, we watched “Inside” last night. Oh. My. Gawd.

    Chuck, it’s a French movie that’s been overdubbed. One of the most disturbing and gruesome movies I’ve ever seen. In other words…I LOVED it! Be warned if you decide to check it out – it’s pretty gnarly.

    So, per Barbie we’re checking out Inglorious Bastards next and then on to District 9 per Sidney. Bad Lieutenant can wait. Not a big fan of Nick Cage, anyway.

    Now, I’m gonna go hit BevMo and pick up a bottle of Maker’s Mark. You guys are always raving about it, so I’m gonna hop on the bandwagon. I just realized that Xmas is only a week from Thursday, so I need a drink. BOY do I need a drink!

    Happy Monday, Surfers!

    Reply
  10. White Trash Barbie says

    December 14, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    Rat Bastard – Where did you play in Cleveland?!?

    Reply
  11. Swami Bologna says

    December 14, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    Knucklehead: Happy Bourbon Season!!! Maker’s Mark rocks. It was “premium bourbon” before there was a category called “premium bourbon.” None of that “single barrel” hype needed — just quality bourbon made the old-fashioned way in (relatively) small batches, and finished-off in the coolest bottle imaginable. (Yes, each bottle really is dipped one-by-one into a vat of molten red wax by old Kentucky ladies in hairnets, at least it was when I visited the distillery 20-some years ago. I can’t imagine anything’s changed since then.)

    Reply
  12. Swami Bologna says

    December 14, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    http://www.makersmark.com

    Reply
  13. not oprah says

    December 14, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    Currently watching ‘Mr Bean’s Christmas – so goofy!!!’

    Reply
  14. Pagan says

    December 14, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    There is an entire generation of tweeting, facebook loving, 0 atention span “Tards” that have been told a cocktail is a “Martini” As it’s the Christmas season lets put my secret desire to shove them all through a woodchipper aside! For the rest of us: The bourbon old fashioned! A real drink! Why would anyone drink anything else? ; measure 1/2 tablespoon of sugar in an old fashioned glass, coat with angostura bitters (about 6 drops). Add about 1 inch of club soda, stir until sugar dissolves. Stack 6-8 ice cubes in a cocktail shaker, pour three shots of makers mark over the ice and allow it to settle on the bottom. Add mixture from glass to the ice. Secure the shaker, and shake about 6 times. Gently pour out contents into the old fashioned glass, add two maraschino cherries and an orange slice. Slurp immediately. Damn life is good:)

    Reply
  15. not oprah says

    December 14, 2009 at 11:27 pm

    KNH, I am not that into movies, but I talk to so many people who don’t like Nicholas Cage. I guess I need to see him more. I liked him in Wild at Heart so many years ago. What don’t you like of him? Is it that he only has one personality? That’s kinda what I’ve heard.

    NO

    Reply
  16. WVKay says

    December 14, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    WVKay, on December 10th, 2009 at 8:18 pm Said:
    “Mr. Kay’s book is more fun than smelling an erection.”

    t-storm, on December 10th, 2009 at 8:20 pm Said:
    Pre or post coitus?

    Definitely pre. I have never witnessed a post coitus erection.

    Reply
  17. Rat Bastard says

    December 15, 2009 at 2:56 am

    WTB — the gig was at place called “Now That’s Class” that I think is on the west side of Cleveland on Detroit.. It’s run by a friend of a friend, pretty cool place.

    Uncle_Wedgie — beggars can’t be choosers. I never thought that I’d be drinking that shit at my age. Especially after drinking so much of it in my early 20s.

    AWG — there are a bunch of disturbing videos on the stupid-net involving people eating those “Ghost Peppers.” I take it you didn’t use enough of them in the chili to put yourself into an altered state of pain?

    Oh yeah…someone please send that damned drink cart around again. This has been a long flight.

    Reply
  18. stuart says

    December 15, 2009 at 3:56 am

    Having read some of these comments, it is is more than a little disturbing that many of the anecdotes refer to stories involving their “former” spouse/significant other, “their ex” or speak about their “defunct” marriage or their “first” wife.

    Reply
  19. johnthebasket says

    December 15, 2009 at 8:49 am

    stuart:

    In the last 30 years, about 55% of marriages have ended in divorce. The comments above contain pretty close to an equal number of stories about happy and sad marriages. Jeff himself has one of the happy ones.

    This is a forum in which people speak freely and honestly about their lives, their feelings, about the fast food they eat, and about chili as a meal, prepared by one’s spouse or self-prepared. For some people it is an opportunity to vent about deeply-felt events in their lives, knowing they will not be judged and that they will find a supportive environment.

    I find nothing disturbing in these comments. Some marriages are unhappy and most divorces are painful. If we share our stories, happy and sad, in this forum, it serves as an opportunity to get some history off our backs so we can move on.

    That’s the kind of safe environment Jeff provides, and I’m proud to be a participant in the discussions. There are very nice people here and they are fun to hang out with in cyberspace. Many, including myself, are fairly disturbed, but that’s part of the fun.

    I wear my WVSR t-shirt with pride.

    jtb

    Reply
  20. Sidney says

    December 15, 2009 at 9:31 am

    Here here JTB!!!!

    I think we overshot the runway…

    Reply
  21. Chuck in Belpre says

    December 15, 2009 at 9:44 am

    Lighten up stuart…it is the interwebs. most of it is lies just to get a chuckle.

    Reply
  22. Swami Bologna says

    December 15, 2009 at 10:20 am

    I don’t think Stuart was being judgmental or critical in using the words “a little disturbing.” I think he was just making a matter-of-fact observation. It’s probably disturbing to him if he’s in a marriage, to think that it could go kaput; or disturbing to him if he’s not married but hopes to be someday, again thinking that it could easily go kaput. A natural reaction in both cases.

    Reply
  23. Lee Harvey Ramone says

    December 15, 2009 at 10:49 am

    It was written out as “more than a little disturbing”…..apparently it doesn’t take much to disturb stuart. Moreover, his assessment doesn’t even include any comments from Jason. Reading about cheese-fucking might send him over the edge.

    When I can afford it, I like Knob Creek over Maker’s Mark. The Smokey flavor from the charred white oak barrels really does it for me.

    Reply
  24. Son Of Sam says

    December 15, 2009 at 10:57 am

    I think JTB has become our voice of reason.

    Reply
  25. Sidney says

    December 15, 2009 at 11:13 am

    I’m feeling faint…where’s my oxygen mask!

    Reply
  26. WB in OH says

    December 15, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Hold on Sidney, the Captain has just been cleared to land. This should be over soon.

    Reply
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