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An Update From Inside A Snowbank

February 10, 2010 By Jeff 94 Comments

It’s been snowing all day here, with no letup in sight.  And that’s coo’ with me.  All four of us are home with nowhere to go, there’s beer in the fridge, and a new episode of LOST on the DVR.  And mister, that’s a combination I can get behind.

This morning I winged it, and made French toast.  I’m not much of a cook (OK, I’m not a cook at all), but I insisted on doing it by trial and error.  Toney wanted me to find a recipe on the internet, and at least use it as a loose guide.  But funk dat.  I’m a very busy man.

And I’m telling you… it was fantastic.  The first four slices were a little limp, but I quickly adjusted and the rest were perfect: restaurant quality.  Of course I’ve scheduled my bypass surgery for late next week, but that’s a subject for another day.

I cracked four eggs into a bowl, splashed in some milk, and added a little cinnamon.  I put a giant clump of real butter into an electric skillet, dipped regular ol’ white bread (fancy pants bread is not allowed!) in the eggs and stuff, and fried it up.  During the final four slices I dumped some of the egg mixture directly onto the bread in the buttery skillet, and that made it even better.

I don’t think I’ve had French toast in twenty years, and man… it was good stuff.  Give me a few weeks to perfect my technique further, and I’ll be ready to go on Throwdown! with Bobby Flay.

And yes, I am a bit embarrassed that I know about that show…  But what are you going to do?

And speaking of the French, I watched a movie called The Vanishing a few nights ago, via Netlix/PS3.  It’s French, or possibly Dutch, with subtitles.  But it’s also a very good, straightforward Hitchcock-like suspense film.  Highly recommended.

The surprise ending was a mind-blower, and I thought about it all the following day.  Yowza.  Have any of you seen it?  I’m talking about the original version, not the Hollywood remake that reportedly eats it from the ass-in.

Also, what are your favorite surprise movie endings?  I’m loaded up on butter, eggs and maple syrup, and can’t think of any others at the moment.  Can you?

And since we’re talking about movies… I want to go on the record now, and make it official:  I will NEVER see Avatar.  Thank you, that is all.

And it’s fairly noisy in here, what with the slaughter of Russians happening right around the corner, and somebody watching The Who on YouTube somewhere nearby, etc.  So, I’m going to cut this one a little short.

I do have a Question of the Day for you guys, however.  And I think it’s something we’ve never covered before…  I’d like your help in building a list of all hit songs with cursing in them.

And I’m talking about HIT songs, not some obscure Dead Kennedys tune, or anything like that.  I mean songs that have somehow been played on the radio for years (classic rock, usually) with cussing in them.

I’ll get the ball rolling:

Who the fuck are you? in “Who Are You” by The Who

Do goody-good bullshit in “Money” by Pink Floyd

“The Bitch is Back” by Elton John

You make a dead man come in “Start Me Up” by the Rolling Stones

There are a million others.  Help me out, won’t you?  It’s very important that we compile a master list.  If for no other reason, do it for the Internet!

And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.  I’m going to attempt to interact with my family now…

Have a great day.

Now playing in the bunker

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Comments

  1. Jason says

    February 10, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    Thanks Kristy.

    I think Jim Gaffigan said that the food network is like porn when you’re hungry. It’s humiliating when someone walks in and catches you. “What are you watching?” “Food Network.” “Why do you have your pants pulled down?”

    That one song where they say, “wrapped up like a douche, another runner in the night….” is pretty ballsy.

    Reply
  2. Jersey Scott says

    February 10, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    Suprise endings: The Usual Suspects, Arlington Road

    Reply
  3. Melissa says

    February 10, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    Ok, I’ll get technical here. ‘The Vanishing’ is from Belgium, but of course they are speaking French. And yes, that is a damn good movie. Of course the ending was ruined for me because I actually wasted 2 hours of my life with the Jeff Bridges/Keanu “24” Sutherland version. The only good thing about it was the off-ing of Sandra Bullock. Did I give away too much? See it to find out!

    Now Playing on iPhone: “Listen Like Thieves” by INXS (No cussing that I’m aware of…)

    Reply
  4. T. Farty McAppleass says

    February 10, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    When’s the last time y’all motherfuckers had a candy necklace? I ate one earlier today and it was delicious.

    Reply
  5. JDL says

    February 10, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    Closer by Nine Inch Nails
    “I want to fuck you like an animal”

    Reply
  6. t-storm says

    February 10, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    Nothing to add for the topic off the day but I did get to experience my first aborted takeoff in an airliner yesterday. After a 2 hour wait to be de-iced in Cincy we started down the runway, made it about half way and then felt the brakes slame on. Then it was another 2 hour wait.
    Made for a long day.

    Reply
  7. Swami Bologna says

    February 10, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    “Little T&A” by the Stones. I always thought the lyric in question was “her tits, her ass, her soul,” but according to various song-lyric web sites, it’s actually “My tits and ass with soul.” In both cases, “tits” is one of the legendary “7 dirty words,” and “ass” isn’t far behind (that was an accidental pun, but a good one).

    Reply
  8. Swami Bologna says

    February 10, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    And regarding all the posts of songs that have obviously never been played on over-the-airways radio, I’m wondering if there might be a generation gap here. There might be some people here who never actually listened to music on AM or FM (at least not as a primary source of music), so they don’t really have a sense of what songs were radio “hits” and what were not. If you’ve grown up getting all your music from the Internet / iTunes / iPod / SiriusXM, you might not have a sense of what the true radio “hits” were, and thus today’s Question of the Day doesn’t quite translate.

    Reply
  9. Kristy says

    February 10, 2010 at 7:17 pm

    Steve Miller “funky shit goin’ down in the city”

    Reply
  10. chill says

    February 10, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    ‘Croupier’ and ‘Seconds’ both have good twists at the end.

    Afro Man had a song on the radio a few years ago. It has the line “I was gonna eat yo’ pussy too, but then I got high”. Does that count?

    I fancy myself a pretty good cook. Today I made coffee cake: one with a cream cheese filling, one with berries. Complete awesomeness. Tomorrow I will probably whip up a chicken piccata.

    Reply
  11. Dave says

    February 10, 2010 at 8:12 pm

    “Damned if I do” was by the Alan Parsons Project….sucky song, but NOT-sucky band, IMHO.

    “Sit at home and masturbate” was a lyric from Billy Joel’s Captain Jack, not Piano Man.

    My contribution: “PIss up a rope”, by Ween.

    Reply
  12. Dave says

    February 10, 2010 at 8:18 pm

    Oh, surprise movie endings contrbution:

    The Usual Suspects blew my mind the first time I saw it.

    Pulp Fiction was pretty impressive the way it all came together at the end…not sure if that qualifies as a “surprise”, though.

    Reply
  13. t-storm says

    February 10, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    Titanic really shocked me at the end. I was shocked that I spent money to see that turd. Twice. Stupid women.

    I just saw Book of Eli. Not bad. Had a little bit of a twist at the end.

    Reply
  14. jim britton says

    February 10, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    Elvis Costello’s “Oliver’s Army” has the phrase
    “white nigger”.
    Would that count?

    Reply
  15. AustinGuy says

    February 10, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    OK, I’m old enough that I had a “6 transistor radio” and thought I was hot stuff. Anyway, I know this wasn’t a radio hit, but I don’t care.

    I remember always taking care not to bring my “Nillson, Son Of Schmilsson” tape into the house. “You’re breaking my heart, you’re tearing it apart, so fuck you”. I can remember how shocked I was myself when the old 8-track first cranked that one over.

    Reply
  16. DRich says

    February 10, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    “Precious” by the Pretenders has “shittin’ bricks” and “fuck off” – not really sure if this got AM/FM radio play, but man, the way Hynde says “fuck off” in that song definitely makes it one of the best rock n’ roll curses of all time. Still.

    Reply
  17. Al says

    February 10, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Does “if you see Kay” by April wine count??????

    Reply
  18. Lefty McLiberal says

    February 10, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    Green Day’s Longview was a pretty big hit (top 20 at least) and had “I smell like shit” and “When masturbation’s lost its fun
    You’re fucking lazy”

    Reply
  19. Casey J says

    February 10, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    I see my NIN nails animal fornicating song is already up here. classic. I make french toast the same way…you have to be quick on the transfer from egg to hot pan…if it doesn’t sizzle you will have soggy. We used to eat it with butter(real) melted on it with cinnamon sugar on top. I prefer it to syrup.

    snow!! holy crap!! I can beat that…i live in an obscure state thats starts with I and ends in S…Obama is from here. And a damn earthquake woke my ass up this morning. FYI…sounded like a snow plow going by that was driven my God himself. bout had a coronary.
    Beat that snowbunnies back east!! hehe

    Reply
  20. Casey J says

    February 10, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    remove the nails from above comment. holy hell
    replace my with “by”. Sorry. next time I will check. 🙁

    Reply
  21. t-storm says

    February 10, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    I have “if you see kay” but it’s by the Poster Children. Is that a cover?

    Is that a possible theme song for the site?

    Obama caused the earthquake. He’s trying to get more funding for Illinois. We succesfully tested the earthquake gun on Haiti. Illinois was a “calibration” run.
    Iran is next.

    Reply
  22. Pagan says

    February 10, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    t-storm what I never understood at the end of Titanic was why Leo didnt just climb on top of that lardass & float to safety!

    Just spent 2hrs digging out the driveway, pretended I was Tony Montana moving my stash the time just flew by!!

    Reply
  23. chill says

    February 11, 2010 at 12:12 am

    Casey J, yes you’ve got us beat. I won’t complain about the amount of work of once more digging out my driveway – digging out from an earthquake can be a lot worse.

    Reply
  24. Joey Jo Jo says

    February 11, 2010 at 12:39 am

    ZZ Top – Legs – “Shit I got to have them, the girl is alright.”

    Lou Reed – Walk on the Wild Side – “And she never lost her head, even when she was givin’ head”

    Joe

    Reply
  25. Joey Jo Jo says

    February 11, 2010 at 12:45 am

    Red Hot Chili Peppers did a cover of “Roller Coaster of Love” that I’ve definitely heard on the radio, and he says “Aaawww, Shit!”

    Joe

    Reply
  26. Dionne says

    February 11, 2010 at 6:46 am

    I plan never to see Avatar! I’ve never seen Titanic and have no intention of seeing it either! Always something better on another channel whenever it’s been on TV. Shame that I like his Terminators films so much, though …

    French toast (or “eggy bread” as some of us Brits call it) but without the cinnamon, is great with bacon and tomato sauce on the side! Yummy!

    Two songs with swear words that have sometimes been played on the radio by mistake, instead of the radio edits, are “Freak Scene” by Dinasour Jr and “Creep” by Radiohead ….

    Reply
  27. Dave says

    February 11, 2010 at 6:55 am

    @Joey Jo Jo: I don’t remember the “Aw Shit” in the Peppers’ cover of Roller Coaster, but I DO remember that cover being used in the Beavis and Butthead movie (a cinematic classic, by the way)…that cover of that song ROCKED!

    Reply
  28. Son Of Sam says

    February 11, 2010 at 7:03 am

    “And the all time winner has got him by the balls.” Jethro Tull Locomotive Breath.

    Reply
  29. AngryWhiteGuy says

    February 11, 2010 at 7:39 am

    “Jeremy” was a Pearl Jam classic, not STP.

    Bikerchick, “Se7en” is my favorite movie ever, but you are correct that it had a fucked up ending.

    You have to put vanilla in french toast batter. It’s not the same without it.

    I think I got here too late to mention any of the songs. Seems like they have already been named.

    On IPOD right now- “Dem Bones”- Alice in Chains

    Reply
  30. AngryWhiteGuy says

    February 11, 2010 at 7:40 am

    Oh yeah, and I will never see Avatar either.

    But then again, I have not seen E.T. Nope, I just refuse.

    Reply
  31. Beerhound says

    February 11, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Van Halen – Everybody Wants Some

    Very end of the song in the fade out:

    “Look, I’ll pay you for it, what the fuck”

    On some of the stations where I live, you can actually hear the word fuck when the DJ doesn’t start the next song right off.

    Reply
  32. fryguy says

    February 11, 2010 at 9:33 am

    best surprise movie endings:

    Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry (I still remember the collective gasp in the theater at the end)

    Electra Glide in Blue

    Reply
  33. bikerchick says

    February 11, 2010 at 9:43 am

    t-storm: Hey!! Now you told me you were a romantic mo’fo’…! Titanic was a beeeyouuuteeeful love story!!

    AWG: Yeah, “Se7en” still gives me chills even though I’ve seen it umpteen times.

    Jason: I believe Edward Norton was either nominated and/or won the Oscar for that performance in “Primal Fear”. He was fantastic.

    Reply
  34. Moose says

    February 11, 2010 at 10:20 am

    I always thought that ” Shine up the battle apple” from Steely Dan’s song Josie would cause a few little old ladies to swoon.

    And I agree completely with AWG…you have to have vanilla in your french toast batter.

    Reply
  35. Miller says

    February 11, 2010 at 10:57 am

    Thanks to Beerhound I thought of another…

    Van Halen – Hot for Teacher

    What do you think the teacher’s gonna look like this year?
    Fuck man!

    Reply
  36. T. Farty McAppleass says

    February 11, 2010 at 11:08 am

    Member that song by Boy George?

    “Do you really wanna hurt me
    Do you really wanna make me cry,
    Do you really wanna hurt me
    Do you really wanna fuck my assssssss”

    Reply
  37. CADude says

    February 11, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Rolling Stones / Some Girls:
    White girls they’re pretty funny
    Sometimes they drive me mad
    Black girls just wanna get fucked all night
    I just don’t have that much jam

    Warren Zevon / Lawyers, Guns & Money
    Send lawyers, guns and money
    The shit has hit the fan

    Reply
  38. WB in OH says

    February 11, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    I thought the ending of Gran Torino was quite the shocker.

    Dionne-Is that bacon on the side and tomato sauce on the side or is it bacon/tomato sauce? Also is this a British thing or are you just weird?

    Reply
  39. Kevindust says

    February 11, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    These songs aren’t classic rock but they were definitely big hits on FM radio and do still get airplay.
    Already mentioned:
    Killing in the Name – Rage Against The Machine
    Closer – Nine Inch Nails
    Jeremy – Pearl Jam
    It’s Been Awhile – Staind
    Creep – Radiohead

    Not mentioned:
    Freak on a Leash – KoRn
    “Something takes a part of me
    You and I were meant to be
    A cheap fuck for me to lay.”

    You Could Be Mine – Guns n Roses
    “With your bitch slap rappin and your cocaine tongue
    you get nothing done.”

    Kickstart My Heart – Motley Crue
    “Years gone by, I say we’ve kicked some ass.
    When I’m enraged or hittin’ the stage
    Adrenalin rushin’ through my veins
    And I’d say we’re still kickin’ ass.”

    Sober – Tool
    “Jesus won’t you fucking whistle something but the past and done.”

    This song wasn’t a hit (although the video was popular) but the blurb from wiki is on topic:
    Y’All Want a Single – KoRn
    At a running time of 3:22, the song contains 89 uses of the word “fuck” with the repeated line “Y’all want a single, say fuck that – fuck that – fuck that.”, although the radio edit replaces the word “fuck” with “suck”.

    Why wouldn’t you want to see Avatar? Seems like some people are trying too hard to be anti-mainstream, believing that makes them “cool”. The film is visually stunning (I saw it in IMAX 3D.) The story may be familiar/predictable/facile but it’s still good…it’s not like this is a completely plotless effects-fest. It is a cinematic experience that brings back the awe factor from when you saw movies as a kid.

    Reply
  40. Uncle_Wedgie says

    February 11, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    Where’s my damn update?

    Reply
  41. MikeB says

    February 11, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    I always enjoyed David Allen Coe’s song “Finger Fucking Sally”. Yes it is, look it up.

    Reply
  42. Jeff says

    February 11, 2010 at 2:54 pm

    Yes Mike, I remember Casey Kasem introducing Finger Fucking Sally. Wasn’t it number one for about three weeks in a row?

    Reply
  43. Ed says

    February 11, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    Oh yeah – “…shakin’ your ass”
    Sweet Emotion, Aerosmith

    Reply
  44. Rick in Roanoke says

    February 13, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Maple syrup in the french toast batter is pretty good.

    Reply
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