Yeah, I decided against another roomful of blues singers for Friday. For some reason I just wasn’t feeling it… and a man of my size really needs to listen to his gut. It’s amassed a lot of clout at this point, and I have to keep the gut happy to avoid revolt.
Anyway, our upstairs toilet is now fixed, but it required a visit from a $75 per hour plumber. He inserted a terrifying “eel” that made ours look pathetic and sad in comparison. And he cranked and cranked that thing, until something eventually collapsed in there.
He said the culprit was definitely “foreign,” meaning it was something other than what’s usually put into a toilet. For some reason he seemed convinced it was a Q-Tip, wedged crossways across the pipe. Toilet paper etc. builds up around it… and within a couple of days you’ve got a problem on your hands.
But how could he possibly know that? How could he zero in on a Q-Tip, specifically? What is he, some kind of remote viewer who specializes in sewer pipes? Maybe a shitter whisperer? It’s baffling to me.
In any case, he was only here for about ten minutes, so I assume the bill will be $75. And that’s OK. I had visions of him removing the toilet completely, and racking up three or fours hours of labor. So, it worked out well… I guess.
I know it feels pretty luxurious to have two working crappers again. Four people and one toilet can eventually lead to a grown man peeing off the deck, and that’s not advised. Especially if the wind shifts and blows it against Poppa Half-Shirt’s siding, and through his kitchen window.
I’m going to work an extra shift tonight, to pick up some additional dollars. It makes me sad, deep in my soul. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I’m off on Monday, for the holiday, so it won’t be so bad. Maybe.
I did book three nights in the yurt, thanks to the generosity of Surf Reporters. Thanks again! I tried to get it for four nights, but on Fridays everything is booked solid. Plus, on the weekends the place fills with screaming hicklets and Big Mamas in enormous t-shirts, and cigs dancing off their lips. So, it probably would’ve been a waste of time anyway…
I was irritated when my agent asked me to do a third draft of the manuscript, but I now see that he was correct. The book is much better now, and I’m excited about it. There were nagging problems with it before, which are now in the process of being fixed. Apparently he knows a little more about it than I do? Who could’ve predicted such a thing?
I think I’ll be able to finish the latest draft during my upcoming yurt marathon, so I really appreciate your support. As always.
For a Question, I’d like to get your feedback on us possibly adding a Surf Report forum. What do you think about it? The comments section is often used as a forum, already, so I think there’s a demand for such a thing. But there are a few considerations.
For one thing, I’d want to go with a quality service, not some freebie thing. So, there would be a small cash investment, which isn’t a problem if the forum gets used and it turns out to be a fun addition to the site.
Also, a forum requires moderators, and I simply don’t have the time. When I’m at work I can’t even access the internet, so there would be huge chunks of time when I’m cut-off completely. Spam is an issue, and so are trolls and professional assholes. I’d want first posts to go into moderation, so they’d have to be approved before going live. And I’d want a couple of people to have the power to shitcan the bad stuff, if it makes it onto the forum somehow.
So, I’m worried about that part of it. But I think it could be a fun place for us to gather, especially on weekends when the site is dormant. We could have different categories, like Question of the Day, where folks could comment on old Questions, not just the latest one. And music, of course. What do you think about it? Would it be something you’d use?
Please let me know your thoughts. I like the idea, but don’t want to mess up the current feel of the site. The number of comments would probably go down, for instance.
So, let me know. And I’m going to get ready for work now. If you don’t have any opinions about the forum, just let me know what you’ll be doing while I’m working on Saturday and Sunday nights. <sigh>
See you guys next time!
Now playing in the bunker
Follow the Surf Report at Facebook!
I’m kinda happy with it the way it is, actually.
First?
Don’t feel bad Jeff. My first Saturday nite off in like 7 months…. And I just called in. And I’m working Sunday nite too>:-[ and labor day!
Damn
4th!
I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some sort of “equipment fee” tagged onto the bill. We had to resort to the eel twice and you’re right, that thing is impressive. Our house is kind of old, so when they’d switch that thing on, all the lights would dim. Want to see real money? Have them bring the line camera out. That adds up quick. Oh, the plumbing horror stories I could tell.
The forum would be cool if there’s enough involvement, and until a couple of months ago I’d have been all over that moderator thing. Damned outside world demanding my time and shit . . .
I just watched a show about house flipping and the guy was charged $500 a foot to fix a collapsed sewage pipe. You got off kinda easy.
I think a forum is a good idea.
7 or something.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
Was quite surprised to see a rare Saturday update, very nice.
I’m with Gretchen.
“While hiding in a leaf pile you could be run over by a truck.” That actually happened to my Dad when he was 4 years old. Mailman pulled in to the curb right over him and broke his leg.
“Spam is an issue, and so are trolls and professional assholes.” I was going to go pro for the endorsements but if I lose my amateur status I won’t be able to enter the Asshole Olympics.
The forum might be nice since we often seem to get three or four threads going at the same time. For example, I’m going to talk about toilets next and it’s unrelated to the previous sentences..
I pulled our toilet once and I figure what clogged it was some dental floss…lesson learned…but now I know how to replace a turlet..
And about forums…it would be good for those times when we think of the most brilliant response after you post the next day’s blog entry…and all of a sudden I figure I’ve ticked someone off when they don’t reply when really it’s just that I’m old news. I saw a post once to an entry that was 8 months old…lost without a forum really.
But since I’ve said that Gretchen is brilliant and JCIII is routinely polite and considerate (more signs of culture and education) and has further endorsed her thought, I bow to their opinion.
It must be the meds that make me so agreeable lately.
Jeff, thanks for the Saturday post. It’s like getting a package in the mail. Always a pleasant happening.
Oh snap, I sense we’re hurtling headlong into another boner discussion. 😉
While the prospect a forum topic labeled simply “Cheesefucker” is quite tempting, I feel without promise of a firm, consistent moderator it will soon become the domain of trolls and asshats. That’s my two cents.
Gretchen…
I’ve long been a fan of the Hazzards; in fact, I own their CD. They are charming, a little irreverent, and great Americans. This link is on topic, I believe, and is a little NSFW, so watch yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR1E6MKmLcI
jtb
Of course, these are the same two fabulous ladies who sang and made the famous 2003 video that swept the world…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQUWIw4CVcM
jtb
Thanks for the laugh, JTB! 😀
So, I got on here today and the whole format change had me thinking I was having an flashback from a bad 60s trip. Then I remembered I wasn’t born until ’72 and have never dropped acid. Damn. Can’t wait to see the horrors of my assigned avatar.
WTF IS THAT??!! It has the head of a praying mantis, the legs of Tweety Bird, and, uh, bunny ears. That reminds me of this site:
http://www.angryalien.com/
Jeff,
I’m not wild about the forum idea. Even if the forum were to generate additional comments, I think we’d be scattering comments into several buckets.
I am usually able to follow the three or five threads we generate in the comments section, and occasionally they even collide with one another. If we had 300 or 400 comments a day I think it would be useful to catagorize them somehow; but the 50 or 60 comments we get are, to my mind, easily managable under the current format.
jtb
And I agree with the last caller. Let us not go gently into that good boner.
Hot…
It’s nice to hear you back. Didn’t see you yesterday. Briefly, the surgery went well, although it was 2 1/2 hours instead of one. I’m feeling pretty good and should know in a couple of weeks whether this is really the “last one”. I appreciate your interest and concern. I didn’t pinch any surgical nurses.
jtb
JTB: That needs to be on a t-shirt! Glad you made it through surgery. Hope this one sticks.
17th! I like it the way it is but I hate change so it probably doesn’t mean much.
As for the shitter, I have a plumber friend who called around for the same problem to someones house and had to dig up the sewer pipe. He found it clogged with condoms but the owner would believe him. He said it must have been roots from a tree. So my friend showed him and started pulling them out. The guy paused, went inside and started screaming at his girlfriend. He obviously didn’t use condoms! HA!
sorry, WOULDN’T beleive him…..
Shit, believe….
Here’s my two cents: the site is now like a great little local bar. You go in there and the bartender (Jeff) always has an interesting story to tell, and that triggers discussions amongst the regulars who frequent the place. Many times the discussions go off into weird tangents. Excepting very rare flare-ups, all are polite to each other. It all takes place in one intimate “room”. And the customers are all intelligent adults.
I would be OK with forums if this stuff stays intact.
my day is in the pooper. hahaha. that follows our toilet thread. No toilet issues here, but my MIL had to shell out big bucks to fix the sewage issues when the toilets and everything else backed into her basement(brand new redone basement) all because my dumb sis in law thinks it is normal to flush tampons. Dumbasses. any males out there that are bored and your signifigant female other is gone…grab a tampon and get it wet. they blow up to gargantuan vagina sizes. humorous, and probably a plumbers bff. 🙂 I have a job interview Wednesday at a bank(egad damn interviews)!! I hope I don’t get the elephant one cause I don’t know what I will say. 😉 any bankers out there give me interview tips?? I am bad at the “describe yourself” and what are your strengths questions. me no likee. have great labor day weekends!! wish me job success!!
Hi, Casey! I just quite a job at a TBTF (too big to fail) bank cause I hated it! Every day was a freaking nightmare. Hopefully, you are interviewing at a
small(er) bank where everything isn’t so screwed up. Good luck!
Hmm, is that a dancing bug as my icon?
thanks!! mine is small..in bank worlds. 🙂 my icon!! i loves it.
Yeah…Mr.Man had to dig up our sewage system after it backed up into our house and the culprit was….*drumroll please*…feminine hygiene products.
We still haven’t heard the last of his bitching about it and as I so lovingly point out to him, ” They’re YOUR daughters too.
I’m not stupid enough to flush that shit down the john so I feel absolutely no guilt.
Of course he feels that we are even considering the massive and very painful sliver I got in the cheek of my ass (because of his insistence on getting a rustic wooden toilet seat.)
The weekend he went out of town that sliver slid it’s way into my ass so far I couldn’t remove it by myself. The kids refused to even look at it for me and I was not about to call any of my friends (although I’m sure they would have lined up for an opportunity like that).
I literally suffered for three days until he got home and could remove it for me.
I still owe him….
wait… he didn’t pull it out on you? i mean for you?
JTB – file that under excellent!!!! So happy you made it through the surgery and are now on the road to recovery. Please provide the updates and we’ll provide the smart assery!!! I’d exchange surgery stories but my last operation was a vasectomy and that kind of life threatening surgery should not be talked of lightly. Good news John. Be Well!!!
Good choice on not pinching btw. Especially if the nurse happened to be a 6’2″ 225 lb ex marine…I spent a few years volunteering in emerg and my respect and admiration for nurses ballooned. Nurses rock. My favorite nurse was a male nurse – he’d tell me symptoms and let me do the differential diagnosis with him (without identifying the patient of course).
My real favourite was a nurse named Tina. I was between jobs when she and I were talking and she asked what I did and where I did it. I told her in the present tense without the job status. I lied. It haunted me for a month or so until our shifts lined up again. Finally we were alone on the way back from delivering a patient and I confessed. Instead of what I expected, she gave me a hug and told me it takes a special kind of person to still think of others and of commitment when we have our own issues. I reminded her she does that every day.
I hear the arguments against forum and they make sense. I’m probably don’t set a good example since I’m easily distrac – hey have all y’all seen Inception? I just saw it and wow – hand out the Oscar now, don’t even bother with the nominees.
I like Ed’s analogy of the bar. Now if I could just get blown off by the ladeezz it would be like real life. Maybe I’m just too much of a control freak or too anal to not be squirmy about the “order” of this place. I’ll get over it 🙂
hehe – I said “blown”
hehe and “anal”
hehe Gretchen said firm
JTB – I checked out the link from yesterday on the matchstick ships. What talent and patience. His blood pressure must be in the Buddhist monk range. I showed swmbfao and she too was most impressed. I hope he donates it somewhere for others to enjoy.
Did you happen to check out the other link on that page about an artist who made his own safe room from the zombie horde? I’d like to think I am a little less paranoid but still prepared enough. I mean I have supplies but I don’t have a robotic shotgun.
Good luck Casey. And whatever you do, don’t imagine the interviewer naked…and copulating (or being copulated by) Velveeta…whatever you do, don’t imagine that..ever…even if it’s the thought that comes in to your mind at the end of EVERY question.
Hehe I said “comes”
Tammie, I once broke one of those laminated wood toilet seats when I planted my hand in front to lift myself off. Dammit it split at the front and then pinched my hand when it recovered its shape when I lifted up. I guess better my hand than my thingy. Btw, next time you need someone to work on your ass, please ask for help here. We’re all here to help 😉
I used to visit the old forum. I like things the way there are now.
Thanks for the naked tip. my luck…he will be hot. I will get the job. I will think of him naked every day here on out. giggle giggle.
a splinter in your ass!! you are brave. I would have went to the er. well, crossed the state line and went to Wisconsin. that way, they wouldn’t think anything of it. haha ha. take that, cheeseheads.
You know, when you first mentioned the terlet problem, I thought of our BRAND NEW toilet that suddenly stopped accepting its due…and it was because my husband flushed a plastic (not carboard) Qtip. We discovered it on our own, after snaking and snaking, then finally shutting off the water and taking the damned thing off the carefully-gasketed floor mount.
Lo and behold, Qtips. I’m honestly convinced there are still more in there as this new toilet simply doesn’t have the…appetite…of the old one.
It looks like most of you aren’t too fired-up about a forum, and that’s fine. I just wanted to know. But I’ve activated a feature that will allow you to reply to each others’ comments directly. So, if you want to reply to a specific person’s comment, you can hit the reply button, and your post will appear underneath the original. Let me know what you think. If you hate it, I can deactivate it in roughly three seconds.
It’s your website, Jeff. Do whatever you want.
Good for you, Jeff. Ask anybody anytime if they want to change and they (including I) will usually say “no thanks”. So, let’s take this buggy for a test drive and see how she corners.
And how the hell do I get one of those cool icons that WVKay has? I don’t mean exactly that green one. I mean one of my choice. Thanks, in advance, Reporters for help in this important matter.
jtb
OK, I got a blue apple with wings and a spring on the bottom. Is there an exchange department at this here site?
jtb
Does this mean we all get some kind of “icon” thingy when we hit reply? Hell…I’m replying right now just to see what happens.
HOLY SHIT that thing looks just like me….uncanny…
I wanted to see the icon…
my icon…
is the best. sums me up nicely, I think
I like mine too
I don’t reply often, but I really like this feature!
I’ve got a bandit mask, bunny ears, and a lizard tail? Looks about right . . .
First to use “Reply”. Hahahahaha. Oh, the Bunker Cam hurt me. I have a big birthday coming up next month and I fear that’s my cake.
Yeah, I’m not really thrilled at the forum idea either. The way it’s set up now, it’s kinda like a big family. Hope you’re all having a great Labor Day weekend…as usual, I’m spending it “laboring,” but not too hard. I’m just glad that Maker’s Mark season is coming up soon!
P.S. Thanks for the surprise update, JK…it totally made my morning!
I think the reply feature is great! I sometimes had trouble keeping up when the comments and then replies to that comment were miles apart. I’d be scrolling up and down forever trying to find the original comment. 🙂
If you reply to your own reply will it open a rip in the space/time continuum and suck us all into it? I’m scared.
We should be ok… with my multiple personalities I reply to myself all the time. No I don’t. Yes I do..divide by zero error!!!!OH NOOOO PALIN, SAVE US!!!!
look at him
now look at me
look at him
now look at me
I’m blue and have antlers!!!
when I reply that is
Dammit, I wanted to be the blue Christmas tree with antlers!
Correction: the levitating blue Christmas tree with antlers.
I’m rather partial to the intertwined comments area as it is. I’ve already got too many forums on my plate that I’m trying to pare down. Its the randomness and potential scattered directions things go that works and makes it fun to stop by, a forum would dilute things too much.
jeff, remember back in like 02/03 when you had that pubboard crappola forum? I think that there’s a plugin for WordPress that makes your site ALMOST a forum. And the fact that you added the “reply to post” feature sort of negates that need…
If you were gonna do a forum you should figure out how to integrate the site and comments into that… otherwise your site’ll get too unruly.
I’m gonna try this as an alternative to a forum, since most people don’t seem to like the idea. I think this might actually be a better.
I love the reply feature!
Yes! Nice reply feature.
Perfect solution
what icon will i get? mutated duck?
hee-hee-hee
Dammit, Chuck…
You get Eric Clapton and I get Dick Cheney. And Dick can’t play a lick.
jtb
So how did Jeff and Chuck figure out how to manipulate the the reply avatar?
I thought that avatar looked familiar Chuck, just went to mockable to confirm my suspicion. You and Shiny had custom avatars. Must be a blogger thing.
if you go to gravatar.com you can create one. just use the same email address you use here.
Crossing my fingers, hope I did this right…
dammit Jim!
maybe jeff can tweek it a little when he gets time and make them a skosh larger.
Well look at that it suddenly appeared! Thanks Chuck!
=8^-)
Let’s see if I did this right.
Cool! It worked!
I’m with the majority and think that this new ‘reply’ feature might work fine.
Not to fall into a national stereotype, but money’s too tight to mention just now and paying cash to ‘shoot the breeze’ is not at the top of the ‘things to do list’ just now.
Jeff, is it possible to increase the recent reply list? Now we need to do more a’scrollin’; A longer list might help to make sure we catch them all.
But if this is the one comment that makes you feel like sometimes ripping the whole fucking thing down then please ignore. 😉
Jeff,
What is the pre-printing price of an autographed copy of your book?
I may be willing to part with money today in the prospects of receiving an autographed copy in the future.
I was wondering the same thing-what do you think Jeff?
Once the book is finished, and hopefully sold to a publisher, I’ll have a better idea. Thanks for asking!
Did it work?
whoops…
Damn it didnt
Patience, Grasshopper.
It’s like effing magic I tell ya!!
Ooo! There it is!
So there it is. How do I get a pic/avatar to appear?
go to gravatar.com and create one. use the same email address you use here.
just testing…..
Love the new reply feature! Probably better than a forum, even though I am a bit of a forum junkie.
The Missus sez to tell you she is in strong support of a forum.
Please restore the font size to original, and get on with your book, rather than tinkering about with a perfectly functional website!
I just want to try the reply button.
This is the best thing sibce sliced ham.
Forum or status quo, I don’t care, so long as we get Nostrils, Nancy, Sunshine & Mumbles updates ASAP.
Pretty Please?
Is this thing on?
Not a fan of the forum thing, but I’m just too curious to see what my randomly generated reply avatar is. Oooh, I hope it’s a guy copping a squat…..
Awww, disappointment… OK, guess I gotta do the geeky thing and create my own.
There. That’s Captain Avatar, dammit! Who can tell me what awesome cartoon this came from?
I like my freaky avatar. I have no idea what it is, but I’m not changing it.
WTF? Damn you Jeff, more chnages?
I think we’d all be scattered to the vast internet milky way if there were a forum. I like “the family” the way it is……but that’s just me and I’m late to the party anyway.
The reply addition is cool. Especially if you haven’t been around in a couple of days (usually a weekend) when comments go in a million directions and you want to play catch-up.
Need an avatar. Hmmmm….
I say do the forum, but the only moderator is Jason when he’s loaded.