It was an odd weekend. On Thursday/Friday we were hammered with what’s got to be one of the three most over-the-top snowstorms of my life, and the rest of the days were spent dealing with it, in one way or another.
When I was kid, in the 1970s, it seems like we were on the receiving end of several HUMONGOUS accumulations. But you know how memory can play tricks on ya, especially when it’s from the perspective of a little 10 year old booger factory. So, I’m not exactly sure where last week’s storm would fall in the all-time rankings, but it’s gotta be within the Top 3.
‘Cause the shit was ridiculous.
Toney and I went out to shovel the driveway late in the afternoon on Thursday, and it was quite a chore. It was already piled-up. And when we finally finished, we turned on the local news and they shouted, “The worst is yet to come!” They promised this was only, as the Brits would put it, the thin edge of the wedge.
And they were right. It snowed all evening, all night, and into the next afternoon. Just a continuous, heavy downpour. By the time we went outside for our second go-round, about 10 am on Friday, there was close to two feet on the ground. It was insane.
I had to cut a path from our porch to the driveway, and just that part kicked my ass. The snow was heavy, and there was tons of it. I had to dig a WWI trench through there, and hurl the diggin’s into the yard. It felt like my aorta was about to rupture.
Then we started on the driveway, and about ten minutes into it I said, “Screw this, the boys are helping this time.” I went looking for them, and they let loose with synchronized groaning when I told them the news.
And even with the four of us working ourselves into a lather, it took a long, long time. The whole thing sucked a thousand eggs.
The driveway is crazy, even a few days after the fact. It feels like we’re driving into a tunnel.
But on Friday we got cocky, and decided we needed to be rewarded for our hard work, and go to Moe’s for a late lunch. Yeah, and my car wouldn’t move an inch. The front wheels just spun on the snow, and my eyes were going all Marty Feldman on me.
After much extra-digging, the tires finally found something they could grip, the car jerked violently to the left, and we were on our way.
The parking lot of the restaurant was a mess, and there were no other vehicles. “It looks like they’re closed,” Toney said. But I was having none of that, and asked the oldest boy to go check the door.
They were indeed open, with one loyal employee holding down the fort. So we ordered our Nerf football burritos, the employee told us the story of digging out her car at 7:30 am, and how it sucked ten thousand eggs. And as we took our seats in a booth by the window, it started snowing again. Big time.
That evening we all watched Fletch, via Netflix streaming, and everybody enjoyed it, except Toney. She fell asleep. Later, I let Andy out to sling some urine, and he was alarmed by the fact that our front yard was now above his head. He had to climb straight-up to get off the sidewalk.
Eventually he fashioned himself a urination pit, which he’s still using (reluctantly). I don’t think he’s taken a dump since Thursday morning. Every time he goes out into the yard it looks like he’s swimming in the ocean, and he quickly says fukkit.
The next day I was starting to feel the onset of cabin fever, and told Toney I needed to get out of the house. Except for the quickie visit to Moe’s the previous afternoon, I’d been a homebody for more than two days. And I’m just not wired that way.
She said she had to do this and that, and the older Secret needed to be somewhere else, etc. So the younger boy and I went out, with no particular place to go.
We ended up at the mall, which was complete pandemonium. The parking lot was one big sloppy mess, and we had to park far from the building. Apparently I wasn’t the only one starting to develop The Fever?
I bought us two Oreo Blizzards at Dairy Queen, and we both eventually got haircuts, if you can believe it. That’s how bored we were, we were out buying haircuts on a whim.
My so-called stylist had a foul mouth, and used at least twenty curse words during the procedure. Not twenty different ones, but twenty individual instances. I’d never seen her before in my life, and she was cussing like a sailor. “My next-door neighbor is a real blue-ribbon bitch I tell ya…” and that sort of thing.
Needless to say, it was cool with me. No need to hold back on my account.
Then we went to Sam’s Club, which was also pandemonium. We tried to look at the TVs and computers, but there were so many walls of assy-denim in our way, I couldn’t take it. So, I purchased a pillowcase full of salted peanuts in the shell, and we fled that crazy scene.
Our next stop: Border’s. And there were literally no open parking spaces in the lot, not one. “How much you wanna bet all these people are in the coffee shop, eating and drinking and looking at magazines?” I asked the Secret.
And I was right. The coffee shop was PACKED, and the actual book part of the store wasn’t. I somehow knew folks didn’t just suddenly become literary, it was all about food and beverages and blurbs about Johnny Depp.
Oh, a few might’ve attempted to be sophisticated, because of the surroundings: “Yes, I just finished reading a blue book. I can’t remember the title, but the cover was blue. Much, much better than the green book I read last year. Far superior…”
Perhaps I’m being unfair?
Anyway, we didn’t buy anything there, but purchased two cheeseburgers and some fries at Five Guys, a little while later. And mine was good, but the onions were way too strong, and cut in big ol’ thick chunks. I like onions, but had to remove ’em from my burger, and it threw off the entire calibration.
On our way home I bought a twelve pack of Yuengling Black & Tan, and called it a day. And before I knew it, it was Sunday afternoon and time to return to work. It felt like I’d just left that place. It seemed like I didn’t have a weekend at all. Grrr….
How was yours? Did you do anything interesting? Tell us about it, won’t you? Also, if you have any personal stories to tell about over-the-top weather events, we’d like to hear (read) those as well.
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Yes!
First yall!!!
woohoo top 5!!!
4.
Gotta love the South. No snow this year.
Hello!
Ashton: where the hell in the south are you that you got no snow?
We’ve had 28″ in Asheville NC and I know there have been flurries as far south as Miami. We have more coming tomorrow….
49 states have had snow this year but according to the scientists this had been one of the hottest winters on record….
So this is what I do most weekends:
Die grosse Frage, die nie beantwortet worden ist und die ich trotz dreißig Jahre langem Forschen in der weiblichen Seele nie habe beantworten können, ist die: Was will das Weib? Aber für dieses fahre ich fort verwirrt zu werden und überrascht zu werden. Konzentriert auf Staatssicherheit sind meine Studien von hier heraus.
I went with a couple of neighbors to Detroit this weekend for the Autorama car show at Cobo Hall. We actually drove out of bad weather by heading north Friday, which seemed a little backwards. Went to the Detroiter afterwards for a couple of beers Saturday night before heading back to a friends house in St Claire Shores for the evening. Took the long way back to Ohio and stopped by Cabelas in Dundee on Sunday, hard to tell there is a recession based on that place.
Haven’t been able to drive the Subaru out of the driveway for 12 days now due to snow height.
Luckily Her Majesty & I both have 4 wheel drive trucks.
More snow or mixed snow~rain forecast for Tuesday.
Yay?
It’s been like that for weeks here (Morgantown), and in Pittsburgh, and Maryland.
How does Scranton do with the clean-up? It is not really done very well here.
I am curious as to why the boys don’t shovel the snow themselves.
I think when I was about 11 or 12, we began to go around and shovel snow for money.
An online translator (www.freetranslation.com) provides the following translation of Shiny Rod’s post:
“The large question, that never was answered and that I never was able to answer in spite of for thirty years investigation in the feminine soul, is that: What does the woman want? But for this, I go confused away to become and to be surprised. Concentrated on state security, my studies of here are out. “
They do a great job clearing the roads here, Ognir. They have a lot of practice. Not this year, but most other years. I can’t complain about the local snow-removal efforts. They’re all over it.
And the boys don’t shovel the driveway because we usually don’t make them. It’s not really their fault, because we set the precedent.
My God man!
Moe’s Homewrecker: 925calories/38g fat
Oreo Blizzard: 980/36
Salted peanuts (1/2lb): 800/112
Five Guys cheeseburger & fries: 1460/85
Yuengling (6 pack): 768
5,000 calories in 24 hours? And 4 times the recommended daily fat intake?
Respect.
Happy Monday, Surfers!
Well. It was Mr. Knucklehead’s birthday yesterday, so we spent most of the weekend with alcohol of some sort in our mits. Not feeling the love today, no suree…
Went to Cleveland and saw about 10 wrecks en route from Charleston, WV. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Saturday day (not what I’d expected). Then an Avett Brothers show at House of Blues Saturday evening. Sunday spent driving back and recuperating. It was a great weekend.
We had a birthday party for my son who turned 2 yesterday. Elmo cupcakes, chicken nuggets and french fries, now that’s a party!!!
We got 4 inches shy of ya’ll here in Luzerne Co. Jeff.
This winter has been Snowmaggedon for sure.lol
Local road crews didn’t even start plowing the secondary roads here until 4pm on friday…GEEZ!
School’s closing made it a 4 day weekend here. Between the kids, the hubby who took off from work and 3 dogs, I was NEVER so glad to see a Monday morning arrive!!
On the bright side….#2 son made $60 on friday shoveling various driveways in the neighborhood.
I spent a lot of the weekend watching the Olympics wrap up and it ended on a high note with Sid the Kid’s golden goal, go Canada, eh!
The closing ceremonies were good but I was mildly dissapointed with the 100% lip-synching. The inclusion of Simple Plan and Hedley was just sad…but at least Celine Dion didn’t make an appearance.
I’m a few hours north of you and we’ve had almost no snow to speak of this winter. I’ve been housesitting for my parents for a month and I’ve only been able to use the snow blower once. Very dissapointing.
I saw “Dominated” in the title and got all excited!!! Yes that’s all it takes sometimes….
So far my new snow-blower has cost me an average of $600 per use but who’s complaining? The big red bitch in the middle of my chest isn’t, complaining that’s for sure; Whenever I clear the driveway “old school” I feel like I’m a crewman in Alien just before the screaming begins.
Last year 8′ snowbanks.
This year, less than 2′ snowbanks.
I went home this weekend to where I grew up. It is crazy how different everything looks now that I am grown. The house the whole family farm it all got lots smaller.
I live in the very northernmost part of Indiana and I for one am truly tired of the cold and snow allthough we have had a fairly average winter my tolerance for it is diminishing.
Yeah Jeff- my kids don’t do shit either. Bad parents. BAD. Can’t bring myself to work em like slave labor.
I didn’t mean to be rude (I guess that read a little rude).
There is 3 inches of ice on my street, with snow over the top of that.
There is suppose a fine if you don’t shovel, but I don’t see any shoveling going on in the hood.
It is hard to get motivated to shovel when the streets are not cleared by those who are suppose to do so.
The aftermath is going to make those do rain gutters and roofs pretty wealthy this spring.
Also, the roads are now full of pot holes.
well philly was ok this go around but boy you should have seen the idiot convention on the last 28 incher.
people mashing the gas and smoking tires trying to get out of an unplowed street. I saw one guy rip the front bumper clear off his toyota. I think he forgot he didnt buy the plowing package on his camry.
I’ve helped push more stuck cars in the last few weeks then I care to do in a lifetime.
We didn’t get it too bad this time, maybe 7-8 inches? Pisser was that on a regular Saturday, I’d let that stuff sit and hope for sun (which did come on Saturday). Naturally, this time I had to go somewhere, so I got to shovel all that mess first. I suppose all the effort cleared the my noggin for the test I had to take, but all things considered, I think I’d prefer a fuzzy head to lower back strain.
It’s just aggravating here. Couple inches at a time…maybe four a couple other times. Then a warmer day to turn it all into a gray stew then freeze solid overnight. And you might know that the heater fan in the Mighty Chrysler would scream like a 12 year old girl at a John Maher concert and then die completely.
So no shoveling…spent the weekend reading the new T. Jefferson Parker. No Olympics. To me it’s Holidays on Ice for really fast people. Can’t do it.
Cracked a cuppa tree Sierra Nevada Torpedoes, grilled a couple steaks and played some Putt-Putt golf. We had snow last Tuesday, gone by Wednesday, sunny and 65 on Sunday.
Life in the People’s Republic of Austin.
Happy will be the day I’m able to drag the Char-Griller back out of the garage, put a cuppa two tree racks of ribs on it and sip on some ridiculously hopped adult beverage with a good book in my hands.
All after completing 18-holes of golf.
“Cracked a cuppa tree Sierra Nevada Torpedoes . . .”
I bought a six of these Saturday. Darned good as long as you don’t mind eye-waterin’ hops. I had the first one and said, “THAT’S an IPA!” I may have to spring for another few very soon.
I rained about 1/4″ here on the left coast. Winter by appointment only is the way to go.
The wife and I spent the weekend camping. No shit, camping. Take off and struggle your way through the snow to get to a place in the “Deliverance” section of the WV mountains and stay the weekend in a 12×16 cabin with a small wood stove. Great weekend!
Happily, I’ve picked up a little freelance graphic design job so I was hunkered over the computer all weekend. My boys shoveled snow and played for a little while. As we were leaving for school/work this morning, we found that some neighborhood punks had knocked off our snowman’s head! Bastards!
Mid-60’s and sunny here in Sacramento. Went to the nursery to see what we want to do in the yard this spring/summer. Gotta love the West Coast
Spent a rainy Saturday assembling & installing shelves in our tiny storage room. Sunday the sun came out, so I cleaned carpets in the early afternoon, then hit the sundeck with a six-pack of buddies. Only got up to 64 degrees, but it sure felt good.
@dogberryjr
See if you can track down Breckenridge Small Batch 471 Double IPA….super hoppy and ~9% ABV
@WB in OH
For “some ridiculously hopped adult beverage”, see above.
We’re a couple hours west of you, had about 3 inches. Today it has been raining, melting that little bit, and my daffodills are up about 3 inches.
Animals crack me up when psycho weather is afoot.
I moved my dog from south Arizona to middle of Missouri last June. He didn’t know what the hell snow was. We hardly got rain before and now the whole damn sky falls out in giant chunks.
The first “big” snow we had this year ended up being about 6 inches. It reached about level with the bottom of the three steps going down into the back yard. When i let the beagle out to prop his leg up on nothing he couldn’t figure out the snow. He sniffed it and couldn’t figure it out. He tried to step on it, fell through, the came screaming back into the house like holy armageddon was coming to get him. He was hiding under the bed terrified that the earth was hollow and he was going to fall through to Korea.
Now he just walks down the steps until he is about level with whatever snow is there and and tends to business right there on the step. Its’ pretty funny that he drops dog sausages into a bunch of snow then when it melts there is a pile of pleasentries waiting to get stepped in.
I’m about 20 minutes south of scranton, and we got whacked with the snow pretty bad too. I usually get to work, “no matter what weather”………but Friday, I went out to my truck, complete with it’s fancy studded snow tires, looked at how the local snow removal jockeys had done a great job of clearing the snow from the streets by piling it up against, under, on top of…. the truck…………..
And it was just too easy to say efff dat, turn my ass around and call off “due to weather”. Funny how your perspectives make a 180 degree turn-around when you just take the day off.
I never left the “hermitage” the entire day. Tank gawd fer da innernet, man.
I’m in the middle of Southern Ontario, right on the southern end of what is locally referred to as the “snow belt” and we barely have 6 inches on the ground. Last year by this point over 7 feet had fallen, so I’m missing winter in a big way.
In February of 78 we had a huge blizzard. The power was out for 10 days, school was closed for 2 full weeks, and the army was called out to help rescue people stranded in their cars and at work. We had friends who lived in a cottage along lake Erie. The drifts were so bad their one floor bungalow was completely covered over. I remember going down there to dig them out and the only part of the house you could see was the chimney.
MI2Tall-No luck in tracking down the SN Torpedo’s, I tried a while back when they were mentioned here. I’ve had the 471’s, pretty good but I didn’t think they were worth the premium over Dogfish 60 minute, Stone IPA or Bell’s two heart ale, for that kind of coin I just go with the Dogfish 90, just my opinion, but I think every one should try everything at least once! So many beers so little time!
Jeff,
Any clues which team Nancy and Nostrils rooted for in the US vs. Canada matchup? Or did they even know the Olympics were being held?
Cussed out the 20something that drove right into my path resulting in vehicular impact. The only good part of it was that it was the slippery friday night so speeds where slower and it probably allowed my car to push his sideways.
Damage to me: One scratched up rubber strip on the bumper and a chip of paint gone from the bumper filler strip.
Him: Dented door and front fender in the shape of a grand marquis steel bumper.
Naturally, its my truck that could use some work, so naturally I was in the car when hit… Never fails.
Was off Thurs and Fri only to be sick the whole time. A reoccuring cold keeps biting my ass. Really took a turn for the worst. Never got out of the house until Saturday night when we went to the Meadows Casino and preceded to loose $300 is less than a half hour. The place was a zoo. Parked so far away we had to take a shuttle to get to the place. Never again. No restaurant to be had and each round of 2 drinks was 12 bucks. That was for a beer and a mixed drink in a friggin juice glass. I’d rather go to the River’s Casino downtown Pittsburgh. At least you can sit down at a restaurant and enjoy a meal and regroup to go sink more sheckels in the slots.
Sunday…watched the kick-ass hockey game. A bittersweet ending. Sucks the US lost the gold, but cool as hell Syd the Kid got the winning goal.
loose…”lose”….snot still clouding my head
Hey, Jeff, can we see some pictures of the snow next update?
Wow, “the Fever” really inspires you to write, doesn’t it! Good for us!
Your terrible, snow-bound weekend sounds like a pleasure cruise to me. I am currently experiencing the WORST cold of my life, since last Thursday, and it is still going strong. It was sunny here in North Texas, but I couldn’t enjoy it… just sat in the bed or on my couch and absolutely HATED the world. HATE and ANGER seems to have mutated into this strain of cold…
Love your descriptions of Andy vs. the snow!
Swami – That is why I don’t use translators. They don’t get the correct diction and syntax and even I’m not perfect when I write it. I only use an online dictinary to get the word spelled correctly. But it was fairly close.
The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?” But for this, I am mildly suprised and amazed. On Homeland Security, from here on, my studies I will concentrate . “
Hm. I am out west where we WANT the snow but aren’t getting it. This week-end I took a sleigh ride throuhg the elk refuge, skied, and drove 8 hours.
Blizzard of ’78…. spent the week shoveling sidewalks and driveways! made enough money every day to buy beer for the night for the household. 30″+ of snow and wind… we had a houseful cause people got stranded and couldn’t get home out in the country. great times!
been snowed in twice for 4 days here this winter. 1st one was fun but now it’s getting old.
Not fun.
Sympathy.
But not too much.
I live in Chicago.
HOLY shit, the ‘WVSR Classic’ link is scary!!
Almost 5 inches of rain Thursday. No snow. We’ve had one 2 hour delay for work and one day off (which should have been on – anticipating the big snow which never was) this winter. Been here four winters now and haven’t been able to build a snowman. My 5 year keeps waiting. Guess we’ll have to go back to WV to do that. Planning a trip in April. Mom says it will still be snowing then.