THESE THINGS have been around for a while now, and (needless to say) I’ve been intrigued. I was fired up and ready to go all-in on ’em during the week they were released. But a guy at work took the wind out of my sails a bit. He got to them before I did and offered up a lukewarm review. He didn’t completely trash the things but was obviously underwhelmed. If I were a person who used the phrase “meh,” that might be how I’d characterize his review. And who wants meh? Not meh.
But today, on a whim, I announced to the family I was going to Burger King and buying up a sack of those bastards. “Who wants in?!” I shouted. Toney and the older boy politely declined, and the younger boy said, “Are you serious? You’re going to eat one of those terrible things?” I corrected him and let him know I was going to eat FOUR of those terrible things. He shook his head in disgust, got in his car and drove away. We haven’t seen him since.
For the record… the ride to BK and back was harrowing, my friends. I don’t think anyone is at home this Saturday before Christmas. They’re all out there stimulating the economy with fervor and gusto, and gumming up the works. Sweet sainted mother of Oil Can Boyd! I was away from the safety of my home for roughly 14 minutes and almost suffered an emotional collapse.
In any case, the tacos are much thinner than the advertisements portray them. In fact, they’re smashed flat. When I removed the first one from its holster I was not impressed. I mean look at that sad and flaccid thing. There couldn’t be much meat or fixin’s in there, right? And the tortilla or taco shell or whatever you want to call it felt tough, not crispy. The first bite didn’t do much to dispel my concerns, either. It was nothing but tortilla and taco sauce. “OK, this is bullshit,” I mumbled. But I got a hit o’ meat with the next bite, and some lettuce too. Huh, not bad. They’re kind of tasty, in fact. The sauce is fairly mild but has a small amount of kick. And when you get everything together in a single bite, I’d go so far as to say they’re pretty damn good.
I polished off all four of them with no problem and could’ve taken down one more. Heck, they’re only a dollar each. So I’ll keep that in mind next time: five is the magic number.
Let’s not get carried away and proclaim the Burger King taco “good stuff.” But it looks much worse than the ads and tastes a lot better than the reality. I rate it a respectable 6 out of 10.
What are your thoughts on this latest delicacy? Please share ’em in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys again soon!
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Jeremy Wiley says
Looks like a Jack in the Box taco.
In the second picture there is provocative evidence that the -um- taco was manufactured in 2018. There’s yer problem. By the way, there’s no sodium in that flapjack is there?
I think your rating was a bit high but the review is spot on.
Yes, even before I saw your comment I was thinking I rated it too high. I’ve changed it to 6/10. I believe that’s more accurate.
I’d say 6/10 is accurate. My local BK makes slightly better looking ones but they aren’t poster worthy that’s for sure
Could they possibly be worse than the Jack In the Box tacos with the dollop of greasy meat paste?
John in the Gump says
I’m right with ya on the number. Not nearly the nasty youd expect from a burger joint. Tasty is a good word. I think far to many people expect a Michelin quality confection. ITS FAST FOOD, if it tastes decent and doesnt come out liquid, you’ve got a winner.
A Michelin quality confection would be a dessert that catches on fire, either accidentally or intentionally. I don’t delight in either, nor do Michelin stars draw me to a restaurant — quite the opposite, but there’s a huge distance between American corporate fast food and good down-home commercial cooking — fresh vs frozen (or partially frozen), tasty vs salty with MSG, authentic ingredients vs preassembled, prepackaged, pre-shaped food look-alikes.
Diarrhea or lack thereof strikes me as an unsuitably low standard for the food we consume and pay damn good money for. Well-prepared quality food at a fair price with a little ambience and good service beats the hell out of fast food, which is fat food with little nutritional value and tastes more like the tires than the guide.
Johnthebasket, your comments always confuse me, but bring me back to read them a second, third and even fourth time until i figure out what you are saying. Keep it up! You keep my 58 year old brain active, much like a crossword puzzle.Merry Christmas! And not “Happy Holidays “
I reread my comment, and found I could have been a hell of a lot clearer and still achieved my objective of disagreeing with J in the G and, probably, just about everybody who posts out here. I appreciate your comments and wish you a delightful Christmas and all other applicable holidays. We gotta keep the Druids covered.
I worked on a fast food commercial for a all you can eat buffet pizza place and they had a 18 foot box truck just for the tools for the food artists. they spray that shit with silicone and use some strange crap for cheese too. they had to have a guard over the prop food so none of the extras would eat it by mistake
A Different Jeff says
Silicone spray, as you undoubtedly know, is also a very effective lubricant. Which may explain why their buffet pizza always exits my bowels so easily …
Ahem.. keeping it vague. I currently work for one of the largest owner operators of burger kings competition. The golden boys in case you’re wondering. So no bk products have passed my lips in a while.
Our family calls them shitty tacos, and we love them dearly. We all love them so much that we ignore the lower intestinal distress that they generate. We are sick people.
No-one in our household has tried one of these $1 tacos yet, but our kids do like BK’s chicken nuggets. Recently, while heading to the local BK drive thru for chicken nuggets, my 9 yr old daughter says “tacos!! Why would anyone want a TACO from Burger King??!!”… me, “I have NO IDEA!!” Honestly they sound awful, look awful and I can only imagine they are also awful! If BK is trying something new/different to keep or bring customers in, tacos aren’t it! I’d say customer service, staff, quality, cleanliness, professional etc is really what they need.
Ian in Scotland says
Ain’t no ‘tacos’ near me!
I’m off to polish off my haggis, if you’ll excuse the euphemism!
Have a cracking Christmas folks!
I do love a nice haggis, but they’re hard to come by over here.
I don’t want to be Debra F. Downer, but I’m on a cardio diet and I had to check out the nutrition facts about the BKT. Don’t let me piss on your parade; obviously you’re an adult and you get to eat what you want. But some others out here might be on a cardio diet, or gearing up for heart bypass surgery so they can get on one. Close your eyes now if you’re over 16 . . .
First, amazingly, it looks like you can’t buy one BKT: every nutrition sight gives the serving size as 2. It’s almost like BK is concerned that if you eat one you might not come back for number 2, or you might be busy undertaking a number 2.
I won’t give you all the numbers because I’m not that kind of asshole — I’m a different kind of asshole. Two BKTs have just under 400 calories, which isn’t bad for lunch as long as you get full from two of those tasty morsels. One serving (2 tacos) contains 16 grams of fat, not bad, but nearly half the fat is saturated fat which isn’t terrific news if you have a vascular system. The good news for those who are hoping for a heart attack to get them out of the next presidential election is that one serving contains 710 mg of sodium. That means that, on my not-so-restrictive diet, I could eat four BKT and still be able to chow down on a Ritz cracker for dinner.
There’s more, but it’s Christmastime and you’re going to live forever. The thing that pisses me off about corporate fast food is that these companies think that as long as they salt the hell out of whatever they serve, people will be pleased, or at least not displeased, with the flavor. They have a corporate jet and I don’t, so they might be right.
I’d say, in summary, that if you go for hard cardio, say running five miles three times a week, you could eat a couple of BKTs a week and plan on continuing to live vigorously until at least 70. After that, you’re on your own.
Merry Christmas. I’ve been posting my favorite Christmas poem out here for about 10 years, and here it goes again. It’s an Italian Sonnet (meaning form ABBA ABBA CDE CDE, not that it’s from Italy) about a businessman who makes a business deal that puts a friend of his out of business and ruins him. Fortunately, the businessman finds redemption of a sort at Christmastime. Again, Merry Christmas. And it’s nice to be able to say Happy New Year again. . . John
by Edwin Arlington Robinson
Christmas was in the air and all was well
With him, but for a few confusing flaws
In divers of God’s images. Because
A friend of his would neither buy nor sell,
Was he to answer for the axe that fell?
He pondered; and the reason for it was,
Partly, a slowly freezing Santa Claus
Upon the corner, with his beard and bell.
Acknowledging an improvident surprise,
He magnified a fancy that he wished
The friend whom he had wrecked were here again.
Not sure of that, he found a compromise;
And from the fulness of his heart he fished
A dime for Jesus who had died for men.
In Hoc Anno Domini
This editorial was written in 1949 by the late Vermont Royster
When Saul of Tarsus set out on his journey to Damascus the whole of the known world lay in bondage. There was one state, and it was Rome. There was one master for it all, and he was Tiberius Caesar.
Everywhere there was civil order, for the arm of the Roman law was long. Everywhere there was stability, in government and in society, for the centurions saw that it was so.
But everywhere there was something else, too. There was oppression—for those who were not the friends of Tiberius Caesar. There was the tax gatherer to take the grain from the fields and the flax from the spindle to feed the legions or to fill the hungry treasury from which divine Caesar gave largess to the people. There was the impressor to find recruits for the circuses. There were executioners to quiet those whom the Emperor proscribed. What was a man for but to serve Caesar?
There was the persecution of men who dared think differently, who heard strange voices or read strange manuscripts. There was enslavement of men whose tribes came not from Rome, disdain for those who did not have the familiar visage. And most of all, there was everywhere a contempt for human life. What, to the strong, was one man more or less in a crowded world?
Then, of a sudden, there was a light in the world, and a man from Galilee saying, Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.
And the voice from Galilee, which would defy Caesar, offered a new Kingdom in which each man could walk upright and bow to none but his God. Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. And he sent this gospel of the Kingdom of Man into the uttermost ends of the earth.
So the light came into the world and the men who lived in darkness were afraid, and they tried to lower a curtain so that man would still believe salvation lay with the leaders.
But it came to pass for a while in divers places that the truth did set man free, although the men of darkness were offended and they tried to put out the light. The voice said, Haste ye. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness come upon you, for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.
Along the road to Damascus the light shone brightly. But afterward Paul of Tarsus, too, was sore afraid. He feared that other Caesars, other prophets, might one day persuade men that man was nothing save a servant unto them, that men might yield up their birthright from God for pottage and walk no more in freedom.
Then might it come to pass that darkness would settle again over the lands and there would be a burning of books and men would think only of what they should eat and what they should wear, and would give heed only to new Caesars and to false prophets. Then might it come to pass that men would not look upward to see even a winter’s star in the East, and once more, there would be no light at all in the darkness.
And so Paul, the apostle of the Son of Man, spoke to his brethren, the Galatians, the words he would have us remember afterward in each of the years of his Lord:
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ has made us free and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.