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A Surf Report Roll Call, and Shameless Panhandling

April 21, 2010 By Jeff 429 Comments

My computer was acting kinda wonky earlier in the day.  For about an hour I couldn’t access Gmail through Firefox, yet it was working just fine in Internet Explorer.   My FTP program was doing strange things as well, and I couldn’t get a picture to upload to the server.

Then everything was OK again… all at the same time.  Who the hell knows?  Maybe the internet needed to lie down on its side and engage its blowhole?  That’s my technical analysis of the situation, anyway…

Hey, I hate to bring this up, but occasionally I’m going to ask you guys for money.  Yes, it’s come to this.  And today is one of those days.

Lots of sites offer premium sections that cost $5.95 per month for access, etc.  And I’m not going to do anything like that.  I’m just going to, you know, ask for a small contribution every once in a while.  It goes against my nature, and my sphincter is winking as I type this, but something’s gotta give.  It’s inevitable.

And what I’m talking about is… a second job for me.  Which, of course, will dominate my days off, and seriously eat into writing time.  I worry that the book won’t get finished, the site won’t be updated regularly, and everything will go circling down the ol’ crap catcher.

Oh, I don’t mind working.  I’ve done it all my life, and still bust my ass every day.  If you only knew…  But I care about all this ridiculousness we’ve got going on here, as well.  In fact, I’ve been accused of caring about it too much.  Ahem.

So, anyway.  There are three main ways you can support the Surf Report monetarily.  They are:

Buy our t-shirts.  I know I go on and on about it, but these things are pretty kick-ass and cheap… and everybody wins.  I owe a few to folks right now, as a matter of fact, and will be making another post office run tomorrow.  So, buy today, and it’ll go out tomorrow.  Dat’s right.

Buy me a beer.  This is basically a small monetary contribution, wrapped-up in an appealing beery theme.  There are thousands of you guys reading this, and if half of you sent a buck or two every month, I could forget all the second job nonsense.  Please consider buying me a beer today.  The weekend is coming.  And if you’d like to send some amount not on the beer page, my PayPal email is jeff@thewvsr.com

Buy all your Amazon stuff through our links.  It costs you nothing extra, and I’ll get at least four percent of what you spend.  There are Amazon ads all over TheWVSR, and if you click through any of them before shopping, I’ll get the commission.  So please, don’t forget.

And that’s that.  I really appreciate your support, and like I say… this goes counter to my nature.  I hate this kind of stuff (it feels like an NPR telethon), but I’m gonna end up doing salad bar maintenance at Ruby Tuesday, working for a 22 year old “supervisor,” and probably landing in jail for the stabbing of a 22 year old “supervisor,” after he talks down to me about my cucumber-slicing technique, or whatever.

Good god… the downward spiral has begun.

I’m going to leave you now with something a little more uplifting:  a Surf Report roll call.

We did this once before, and it was a lot of fun.  In the comments section please tell us where you currently live, city and state, or city and country, whatever.  And hopefully we’ll have representation from all fifty US states.

Last time, a year or so ago, I think we came up a Dakota short.  I can’t remember if it was Norf or Souf Dakota, but I believe it was the only state without a Surf Reporter.  Hopefully that’s no longer the case.

And I love to hear from you folks outside the country.  In fact, it blows my mind a little.

Please don’t cheat, I’d like for this to be accurate info.  And if you’d like to tell us how long you’ve been reading, how you discovered the site, etc. that’ll also be cool.  Also, if someone wants to volunteer to keep track of the states, I won’t turn you down.

And there you go.  I have an early meeting today at my job, so I need to sign off now, gobble down a Marlene Catheter frozen meal, and get the hell outta here.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about something exciting that’s going to happen on Friday.

See ya then!

Now playing in the bunker

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Filed Under: Daily

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. WV.Hillbilly says

    April 23, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    St Albans WV, formerly 18th St in Dunbar.

    Reply
  2. sunshine_in_va says

    April 24, 2010 at 12:12 am

    Ashburn, Virginny

    I’ve been reading this for about 2 years. The “Princess” put me on to it. She lives in Harpers Ferry, WV but she’ll be living here soon as we’re getting married in August.

    Reply
  3. Mark Eichholz says

    April 24, 2010 at 4:31 am

    Waterloo, Iowa home of John Deere tractor works. Been reading for about 5 years now

    Reply
  4. hotshoe says

    April 24, 2010 at 7:55 am

    Huber Heights, OH

    I’ve bought the t-shirts, and display/post the “Smoking’ Fish.”

    OK. I’ll buy you a beer, if you promise not to get one that you have to put a lime in to drink it.

    Reply
  5. WB in OH says

    April 24, 2010 at 10:55 am

    Morning all, based on my figuring we are missing 4 states, both Dakotas, Hawaii and the Nutmeg State.

    Doing this with a hangover and ADD was not as easy as I thought. I googled a number of towns whose names sounded familiar or interesting, so I was side tracked fairly often while compiling my numbers, so don’t yell if I missed you, just point out the error of my ways.

    As for our foreign friends the Canadians had a good turnout with 5 of the 10 provinces reporting in. Scotland, England, Austrailia, South Africa, New Zealand, Japan, South Korea and Mexico also reported in.

    I was hoping to put this in a spreadsheet with quantities based on states/countries but I’ve run out of time. The weather is supposed to be crap here tomorrow so maybe I ‘ll get around to it then.

    Peace out ya’ll!

    Reply
  6. CitizenX says

    April 24, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Way to step up to the plate WB in OH

    Reply
  7. junkfood says

    April 24, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    Crap I’m late on this! I read in Illinois and have been ever since the old buttafly.com site sent me to the Rules of Thumb page back in 2004. I was jobless at the time (“funemployed!”) so I had plenty of time to get caught up. Now, like many others, I start to manifest withdrawal symptoms if Jeff doesn’t post on a given day. We won’t even mention the weekends.

    Thanks for keeping it going Jeff! Get plastered on my dime (just sent).

    Reply
  8. Cas G in Knoxpatch, TN says

    April 24, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    Knoxville, TN

    Been reading the site since 2001. Found a link to it while searching for info on a Jesco White dancin tour.

    Big fan of Nancy and Nostrils stories. The Alli article was a hoot. Actually have a drug rep pal who used to sell Alli. He always called it a “behaviour modification program”. Hell yeah, it is….if you shat brown oil down your leg it’ll damn sure change your behaviour around the dining room.

    Reply
  9. Theresa says

    April 24, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    Lehighton, PA

    Found your site while reading your rules of thumb. Hilarious!

    Reply
  10. Austin says

    April 25, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    Louisville, KY
    Great stuff there, Jeff.

    Reply
  11. nads says

    April 25, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    belated…

    Atkinson, NH

    1st saw ads vs. reality, then the wal-mart game, and that got me to checkout the site, about 2 years ago.

    Reply
  12. Wisey in Ttown says

    April 25, 2010 at 10:13 pm

    Tulsa Oklahoma here.

    I googled “thick piss” and walla!

    i could use a WVSR mug!

    Reply
  13. aunt henrietta says

    April 25, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    Casper Wyoming, home of Dick Cheney, but don’t hold that against me. I’m originally from NY State, and lived in Huntington for a while back in the 80’s. Found you years ago, either the Alli article or the fast food one.
    BTW, I signed up years ago to be on your email list, but that never happened, so I signed up again. bye bye.

    Reply
  14. aunt henrietta says

    April 25, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    Oh yeah, I’d also buy a mug, so get right on that, Jeff!

    Reply
  15. aunt henrietta says

    April 25, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    Oh, one more thing. I read the Alli article, but bought it anyway out of curiosity. Ate a big ass cheeseburger and fries. Next day: orange oily farts. Worst part? Holy shit, they smell like dead fermented hamsters. Now I take it to see what will pass the next day. I need to get a life.

    Reply
  16. Sue-Z-Q says

    April 26, 2010 at 8:55 am

    Buford, Georgia. It’s part of “Metro Atlanta” now, though it wasn’t when I first moved here.

    Don’t recall exactly when I started reading the WVSR, but I know I was already reading it when I started my job here in September 2002 because they put me in a cube on a high-traffic lane and I used to go to great pains to hide what I was reading. 🙂

    Reply
  17. Tony_Sinn says

    April 26, 2010 at 10:07 am

    Shelbyville, Indiana and Westside Cleveland Ohio.. thanks to Tilly, the White Trash Barbie and I are regular readers and occasional posters.

    What is the fish smoking???

    always wondered that.

    probably answered in the archives somewhere.

    Thanks Mr. K
    TS

    Reply
  18. Cosgrove says

    April 26, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    Virginia over here, and my brother reads this website when he gets the chance, he is in school and the marine reserves, so I’ll answer for him too in case he doesn’t get the chance. He is in West Virginia.

    Reply
  19. Fat Secretary says

    April 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    Been tuning in since 2005, courtesy of my real estate agent. You are strangely addictive….
    Euless, TX, for now. We move about every 3 years.

    Reply
  20. Dave-O says

    April 26, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Surf reporter Dave checking in from Batesville, Arkansas.
    Pretty sure I’m the only one around Hillbilly Land with a faded WVSR shirt.

    Reply
  21. currage says

    April 27, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Jacksonville, FL

    Reply
  22. Greg R. says

    April 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

    Louisville, KY

    First visit was a link to the fast food ads vs. reality. That was several years ago…been here ever sense!

    Reply
  23. another Jeff ... alienjeff says

    April 27, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Greetings from northwestern Connecticut (CT for you abbreviation-heads).

    I keep track of visitors to my website and for the longest time the record sat at 49 of 50, with Wyoming being the last one. For whatever reason, after the 50th checked in, I couldn’t bear to remove the state names listed alphabetically one-by-one.

    My psychiatrist could probably explain that …

    Reply
  24. ashton says

    April 27, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    new orleans.. still

    Reply
  25. Becca says

    April 27, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Philadelphia PA

    Not new or exciting but I didn’t want to be left out.

    Reply
  26. Jim Adams says

    April 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Oak Harbor, WA

    Reply
  27. She who shall not be named says

    April 27, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    I’ve been following the surf report here in the dark and damp Northwest non-religiously for about 4 years now I guess. I torture my kids with my shameless renditions of “sweet-sainted-mother-of” comments, and they LOVE the fast food reviews. They haven’t asked for fast food in months, and my daughter calls the KFC Kentucky Fried Ducks “because there’s no way that’s chicken in there.”

    Reply
  28. Poppajugs says

    April 27, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Catonsville, Maryland.

    Someone sent me a link to the Macaroni & Beef story in 2002 or 2003, and I’ve been a daily reader ever since.

    Reply
  29. goughar says

    April 27, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    well….I’ve lived in Raleigh, NC for 6 years, but spent the first 23 years of my life in South Dakota…….There is laughter…just limited

    Reply
  30. Rick says

    April 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm

    Put me down for Atlanta, GA.

    I’ve been reading the WVSR since finding the Beef and Macaroni story a few years ago.

    Reply
  31. wvwoody says

    April 27, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    Mt. Hope, WV
    Too poor to buy you and me both a beer so I will just drink one of mine for you in absentia!

    Reply
  32. Turner says

    April 27, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    Nashville, Tennessee

    The earliest memory that I have of the WVSR was the Alli Special. I think I may have already been a reader by then though and come through the Ads vs. Reality. Jeff I’m a huge fan and appreciate all that you put into entertaining me. I even have a T-Shirt to prove it. Keep up the good work.

    Reply
  33. Mike says

    April 27, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    Wheeling IL. It’s a suburb of Chicago, which is a suburb of Wisconsin.

    Reply
  34. dorothy says

    April 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    new wilmington, pa. home of the amish dutch. about 2000 people. assorted sheep, goats, dogs and cats.
    i found you thru my (male) secret, who also turned me on to “it’s always sunny in philadelphia.” can you spell PETER PAN?
    as a pharmacist, i especially loved the alli discussion as did all of my pharmacist relatives.

    Reply
  35. The Mole says

    April 27, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Clifton,NJ
    The Gargoyle Letters about 2002, I guess.

    Reply
  36. Keith says

    April 27, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    Etters, PA – moving to Austin, TX in 3 weeks.

    I’ve been a Surf Reporter for a long damn time now – almost 10 years?

    Reply
  37. cassandra says

    April 27, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Akron, Ohio!

    Reply
  38. Keith says

    April 27, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    Paden City, WV

    I am the parental unit of Jason who contributed the “American man stops washing his hair” I have been a fan for about 6 years.

    Reply
  39. Erik Yater says

    April 27, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    2 Years and counting in Follansbee, Wild Wonderful West Virginia. (Thank God we don’t sound desperate anymore)

    Reply
  40. Jen says

    April 28, 2010 at 7:36 am

    Hershey PA here!

    Reply
  41. wntermoon says

    April 28, 2010 at 8:24 am

    Edinburg, VA. Present and accounted for…

    Reply
  42. Mike says

    April 28, 2010 at 10:04 am

    Mike here from Lubbock, TX

    Reply
  43. Momof4kids says

    April 28, 2010 at 11:59 am

    You’re coming in load and clear, Clarks Green..

    Reply
  44. Alana says

    April 28, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Spring, TX!!!

    Reply
  45. Jersey Scott's says

    April 28, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    Jersey … Beachwood, New Jersey

    Reply
  46. Jersey Scott's says

    April 28, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    … and I think I got hip to the WVSR via Mark Maynard’s famous zine, CRIMEWAVE. As I recall, Jeff wrote some stuff for that excellent publication and the website was mentioned … and the rest is history.

    Reply
  47. Sam says

    April 28, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    Des Moines, Iowa checking in. Hope I’m not too late to be counted. I’ve been reading the blog for about six months now.

    Reply
  48. Peter says

    April 28, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    Richmond, VA via London, England
    Vacation in Wisconsin (don’t ask)

    Reply
  49. Fester Bestertester says

    April 29, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    From Lee, Massachusetts, a little of the south up north. Lots of guns in pickup trucks. 99.9% white.

    No idea how i wound up here – followed a link from somewhere.

    I like bacon.

    Reply
  50. Kicking Puppies says

    April 29, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.

    I have been following this site for a few years now, and devoured many many beers reading you’re diatribes. I found this site through google, Due to the fast food reviews!

    do you accept our funny coloured money? I can certainly afford a couple Loonies or Toonies… Ohhhh wait! Seeing as how our dollar is at parity or higher lately, perhaps ask that all payments be in Canadian!!!

    G.

    Reply
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