Yeah, I’m basically going to need you guys to write this update. I hope that’s OK? I have to be at work an hour early, got up an hour late, and if you need more excuses just email me, and I can provide ’em. And so, for today’s descent into absurdity, please tell us about the people you know — or have known — named Kevin. That’s it. Today it’s ALL about the Kevins: the good Kevins, the bad Kevins, and all the Kevins in between.
How’s that for a topic? Pass the beer nuts.
I’ll see you guys again tomorrow!
Now playing in the bunker
Use the Surf Report’s webhost: HostGator!
How strange. Just yesterday someone was telling me a story about a Kevin who tripped on ‘shrooms for thirty days straight, just to see if it could be done.
The only one that springs to mind is a childhood neighbor named Kevin that is a chiropractor that is SUPER touchy about not being a real doctor. But I repeat myself.
Matt in Florence says
My brother’s named Kevin. Growing up, think of Wayne from the Wonder Years. That was essentially him at that time. He may have mellowed since then, however.
I work in the IT department for a certain county in Florida. My Director of the department is named Kevin. He wanted to eliminate mice in a new bulk computer order to save money. Said that people can use the computer without a mouse. Just Tab everywhere he said. I really wanted to fart in his face when he said that.
Your Director is consuming perfectly good oxygen that should be used for a better purpose.
How much does a damn mouse cost?
Patty in Cleveland says
Had a good friend in high school named Kevin. He was a great friend and now he is a Police Officer in an Canine unit.
I went to school with Kevin C. whose laugh sounded like a kid imitating the sound of a machine gun.
JQ Brat says
My sister dated a guy named Kevin who was also her boss and who was also WAY older than her. She ws unrelenting in her pursuit of him and when he finally relented she didn’t want him anymore because he was boring. After she dumped him, he spent a lot of time in the bars trying to pick up younger chicks.
My daughter also has a step-brother named Kevin, he’s 6.
Skippy in WV says
I have a cousin named Kevin, that’s about all I have on the subject. On a different note, we found out yesterday I’m gonna be a daddy again. No specifics other than a guestimated May/ June birfday. Oh…top ten!
Congratulations, Skippy! Good luck to Mrs. Skippy.
Way to go Skipster….. You fertile turtle you!!
My ex had an employee named Kevin who removed the vowels from his name and wanted to be called “Kvn” for some reason.
That kevin is an asshole. I can tell.
Kevin angrammed is KNIVE
Brenda Love says
Well, there was Kevin from the ‘hood, I think he’s like a crackhead now.
And there’s Kevin a.k.a. “Shoes” who I have been friends with many years, he’s really funny and he listens out for me when I decide to venture out late at night….all I have to do is text him if my car were to break down! That’s a true friend for you!
There is a Kevin from my childhood that I always wondered about.
He was the son of one of my Dad’s friends. He was younger than me but did impressions that all of the drunk adults loved.
His Dad would whip him out for entertainment purposes and he never failed to have them roaring with drunken laughter. They also had a pool.
I use to think Kevins were like Garys and Butchs – automatically a bully or a dickhead. But – I think that has changed over the years.
I have a younger brother named Kevin and an older brother named Gary they weren’t bullies but they were a hell of a pair of co-conspirators.
I’m checking in, what would you like to know?
Fun Kevin Fact: I once raced a car with a Smoking Fish on it but that didn’t end so well.
Miss Q says
You should let other people tell you if your facts are fun.
WB in OH says
Miss Q, why are you being mean to me? To play devil’s advocate: if you need others to tell you that your facts are fun, you are trying too hard. In this case, it just so happens that Jeff told me it was excellent: http://thewvsr.com/temporary-classroom-paralysis-and-more/
It was a fun fact.
I remember that Kevindust.. You took one for the team. That picture is on here somewhere. Well done sir.
My ex- husband is named Kevin. He’s kind of an asshole. My son is named Kevin, he is turning into a great man, in no small part because he has 3 sisters that kept his butt in line growing up.
Miss Q says
A Kevin from my old ‘hood wrapped his motorcycle around a sign post while drunk and tore his leg off. For real, the whole leg from just above the knee down got torn right off. He used the prosthetic to hide money and drugs.
Another Kevin I worked with for awhile was a much more boring character. He sent his kids to Christian school so they wouldn’t have to interact with “the blacks”. Gotta love the religious types.
Frank Black’s kids?
My high school sweetheart’s name is Kevin, we dated from age 13-18, we grew apart and went our seperate ways but I still have a spot in my heart for him.
MiniPeds in NOLA says
My first boyfriend ever was Kevin. He now is in a metal band with a big long red beard. His day job is an engineer in some important place at MIT. How did your Kevin fare?
John Smith says
I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a woman, who knows a guy, who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon.
I hadn’t thought about this recently, but I know a guy who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon. I’m only 3 degrees from Kevin Bacon.
I worked with 2 Kevin’s. One is a great guy, hilarious, generous and well respected. The other had a higher title but was a drunken asshole. He told his secretary “My wife is so ugly the dog won’t even look at her.” Dead serious. That soured me on the sonofabitch ever since.
Phantom Railfan says
I’ve known a few Kevins. One ran off with his boss’ wife, breaking up what appeared to be a happy marriage. Another is currently doing 25 years for sexual assault of a minor. The third was a kid I knew in grade school who could fart pretty much on command. There was also one I knew when I was about 5 who used to come into our backyard and play with my Big Wheel and other outdoor toys without being invited. He also once told my Mom to kiss his ass, or so I’ve been told…
Lee Harvey Ramone says
It appears that Kevins can be real ass-hats. At least they’re not as bad as Brents as a whole.
I went to HS with Kevin W.
I was really looking forward to seeing him at our 10 year reunion.
He didn’t attend because he had passed away from cancer a couple of years earlier. I hadn’t heard.
I’m still sad I never got to say goodbye.
He was a good guy and funny guy and I suspect he’d be one of the well-thought-of-kevins today.
So Kevins are real and not just stories my parents told to keep us from misbehaving? All I know is neither the kid who sat in the corner and picked his nose all through kindergarten nor the boy who wore the same shirt every day in high school were named Kevin. But maybe they should have been?
The Kuban says
I know two. One works his ass off to provide for his stay-at-home wife (with expensive taste) and his four kids. The other is a gGod fearing man who loves his wife and pronounces his name “Kee-vin”. But it’s spelled Kevin.
The Kuban says
Jeff – Please play this game again with the name Michael or Mike. I promise, those answers will be much more interesting. I have a theory about that name. Have yet to be proven wrong. Ever.
We’re all nice guys and/or saints. –
Use Bruce instead. Everybody knows a Bruce that deserves to be ripped on.
Dated a Kevin. A bigger prick with a smaller dick could not be found anywhere on earth.
We called him Big Dick Kevin. It was ironic and appropriate at the same time.
I work with two. Both are management. One is very OCD and very into micromanaging the herd. His last name is Hosler, and no one calls him Kevin when he’s not around, but rather, the much more catchy “Adolph Hosler”. Does have a nice ring to it…………………
the only kevin i know got busted for dui when he was 15 yrs old. he was driving up and down his street in the middle of the night on a LAWNMOWER. a fifth of rum bouncing around in the grass catcher. good times.
John Smith says
My brother got a DUI on a lawn mower. But it wasn’t a riding mower, it was just a self propelled mower. The jackass was standing on the thing with a rag tied around the lever that made it go.
It was the middle of the night, there was massive quantities of alcohol involved, but his name isn’t Kevin.
I work with a Kevin. Worlds biggest prick!
Friends of my daughter have a cat named Kevin, apparently Kevin rules the roost!
I know two Kevins. Both fall on the good side of the fence. I don’t recall knowing, or hearing the anyone named Kevin before I hit the workforce.
WB in OH says
My older brother is a Kevin. I have a HS friend named Kevin.
Last week I was dealing with three Kevin’s at work, that was way too many Kevin’s to keep straight.
WB in OH says
Oh, has anyone hear read the Thomas Covenant series? One of the main characters was named Kevin, I thought it was a strange name for the character.
i didn’t remember that. guess i’ll have to go back and reread—it’s been a looooong time.
WB in OH says
Kevin The Landwaster, he came to the land before Thomas. And yes I think he was referred to as High Lord Kevin as well as Skully points out.
High Lord Kevin?
Good reading though.
The last one just came out.
I had a “Kevin” in 5th grade who bullied me relentlessly. I was forced to pay tribute and endure a weekly beating. Sad to say, we kinda lost touch after 5th grade.
Another “Kevin” I knew from church during my teens. Kinda goofy, always super cool to everyone. He’s now a tattoo artist with a gnarly beard and a beer gut. Real swell guy!
Phil Jett says
I don’t believe I’ve ever known a Kevin other than someone saying, “Phil, this is Kevin, Kevin, Phil”.
Erik in WV says
One was a preacher, one was a partner in crime back in high school, the other is the sidekick to Dr. Alphonse Mephesto (South Park)
In grade school, my best friend was a Kevin. My nephew’s name is Kevin; I suspect he might be named after another uncle whose name, oddly, is also Kevin. And I used to work with a Kevin. None of these people are (or were) particularly douchebags.
I’m a Kevin. I’m a long time lurker here. I know me. I’ve been told I’m a pretty good person. What do those people know anyway? Go Kings!
WB in OH says
Welcome hockeykevin, check in more often and they’re will be plenty of us here to determine if you are a good person! 🙂
A Kevin J. lived down the block from during school years from ’66 to ’78. Nice guy but don’t know what happened to him after high school.
I’m now married to a Kevin . . . awesome guy!
No Kevin’s in these parts…..just keep moving along….
Ozzie Bucco says
I never knew any Kevins that stood out for their prickishness.
I did, however, know a Cliff and a Wayne from high school. They used to cruise the Jr. High school to pick up girls.
Back in the day, a few of us girls from the office ended up staying long after happy hour ended at our local lounge; by this time, the younger crowd has started showing up. One of the older ladies in the group was on the dance floor and seemed to be having a grand time with some guy. As she began to weave her way back to our table, I remember her saying “When a guy asks you to dance and tells you his name is Kevin, it’s time to go home. My son is Kevin’s age.” This is the one and only time I remember crossing paths with a Kevin and, hopefully, the last.
My oldest son is a Kevin. He was born during the time REO Speedwagon’s Hi-Infidelity was all over the radio when I was 19. My husband wanted to name him Michael. He was working out-of-state at the time and I told him that if he was home when the baby was born, we’d go with Michael. Kevin was 5 weeks old by the time his dad got back. Whenever a REO song comes on the radio he says, “I know. I know. That’s the dude I was named after.” His nickname when he was a kid was Cave-In and he uses “Vin” for some of his online user names. He’s never actually said he doesn’t like his name…
Poetry Kevin in St. Louis. He’s an alright guy, way into poetry though. One night we went back to his house and his roommate Thad had drank all the gin.
“Who drank all the gin, Thad?!!!!”
It was a fun night.
English Teacher Kevin who hangs out in Newport, KY who I got into an argument one night because I said a square is a rectangle but a rectangle isn’t always a square. Geeze.
My cousin has an uncle named kevin. I saw his daughter a few years ago and she was hottttttt!
The Kevin I know is a really good guy. Bummer is he has Ewing Sarcoma and it isn’t looking to good. He is 28 years old.
The Kevin that I knew from high school went to jail for a while for armed robbery… not a real winner.
The other Kevin was working at the gas station, the last time I saw him. Not great outcomes for either Kevin.
Hung out with a local band in the 90’s in Cincinnati called “My Friend Kevin”. They were pretty good, I still have one of their CD’s.
Do you remember Spaceman Spiff?
No, were they in Cincy too? Cool name though, Calvin’s super hero name. Clever.
They were. I used to see them at some play in Reading and I believe the old J Hall and a few other places. The lead singer was adorable.
And the Calvin reference is why I went and saw them in the first place.
The Dave says
I had a roommate named Kevin, and had many an adventure with him. Once we stole a car to go to a Motley Crue concert. In 2000. Another time I got home from work and he had drunkenly shattered the tank on our toilet. I’m pretty sure that now he’s in the CIA.
Dirty Frank says
I had a neighbor in the last house i lived in who came over to meet me shortly after i moved in. I opened the door and i’m pretty sure the smoke came billowing out of the front door like on a Cheech and Chong movie. He introduced himself as Kevin and all i could think to was ask him what his trade was. (wtf?) We chatted about whatever his trade was and he left. Over the next couple of months there was a few “Hi Kevins:” Then one day i asked if i could borrow his lawn fertilizer dispenser. When i went to return the dispenser i say “thanks Kevin”…. “Name’s Gary”…. Again, WTF!?!? I had been calling this guy Kevin for about 4 months before he had the courage to tell me his name was Gary. He said it was no problem because he didn’t remember my name either.
Rick in the UK now says
I used to work with a Kevin, thought he was alright, but turns out he was just a management puppet. Douche.
I still listen to podcasts of my favorite DJs’ morning show from southern California (http://kroq.cbslocal.com/category/kevin-bean/), and one of them is named Kevin. A continuing bit of theirs is giving him a ration of shit for his general inability to speak, and when you add alcohol at after-hour events his tweets become magical:
He himself says that all Kevins are bad.