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A Review of My Most Recent Trip to Sonic

November 10, 2011 By Jeff 118 Comments

This past weekend we decided to visit the new Sonic drive-in, which just opened across from Scranton High School.  It’s the first one in the area, and it was a big, big deal.  During the opening week there were genuine traffic jams, and the local media treated it like a major news event.  Which caused me to instinctively say, “Funk dat.”

I’d been to Sonic before, in other states, and there’s nothing wrong with it.  I like it OK, but I’m not sure it merits all the ass-over-tits excitement.  I mean, seriously.

But, by Saturday most of the initial hubbub had died down and I began thinking about their footlong Coney Island dogs.  I asked Toney if she wanted to go there for lunch, and she had no objection.  So, we went.

We pulled into one of their parking spots, and held a freaking Manhattan Project within the Camry, trying to decide what everybody wanted.  I was prepared in advance (as is the custom), but Toney and the boys needed to consult the menu.  Finally we had it nailed down, so I pushed the button.  Which kicked off an adventure…

A female voice welcomed us to Sonic, and asked if it could take our order.  I told her I’d have the #8 combo with onion rings and a small Dr. Pepper.

“OK, that’s a #8, footlong Coney Island dog.  What side would you like with that?  We have french fries, onion rings, tater tots, goulash, cob of corn, chow chow, souse, and poutine.” (I’m working from memory.)

“Um, onion rings,” I said, for the second time.

OK, so that’s a #8, footlong Coney Island dog with onion rings.  Would you care for a Sonic Blast or one of our real ice cream shakes to go with that?”

“No, I just want Dr. Pepper to drink.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Dr. Pepper, a small Dr. Pepper.”

“Hold on.”

There was two minutes of radio silence.  Then someone finally came on the line again and said, “Hello, welcome to Sonic.  Can I take your order?”  I’m almost certain it was the same person.

“Are we starting over?”  I answered.

“You wanted the cheeseburger, no lettuce?”

WTF?

It was a total cluster-copulation.  And every time I FINALLY finished with one combo meal, she’d launch into her wrap-up spiel, offering a Sonic Blast (whatever that is), and repeating the order.  It felt like she was willing it to be over.

“Hang on, I’m still ordering,” I’d have to say, and we’d free-fall into a bottomless pit of confusion.  All four meals were a major chore for both of us, but we finally got ‘er done, and she repeated the order correctly.

“OK, that’ll be $28.37,” she replied.  “Your food will be right out.”

$28.37?  Holy crap!  For a sack of hotdogs and congealed grease?  It felt like a lot to me.  We could’ve gone to the Chinese place for that, with real plates and silverware and tablecloths.

“Do we have to tip these people?” I asked Toney.

“It’s fast food,” she answered.

“But they’re on roller skates, and shit.  I think they expect a tip for all that rolling around and novelty tray work.”

“I wouldn’t tip them,” she shrugged.

A few minutes later I saw someone who looked like Macy Gray skating toward our car, with a tray piled up with food.  She didn’t look very sure of herself on those wheels, and I hoped she’d be able to stop when she reached us.  I was mildly concerned she’d rocket straight into my rolled-down window, and cause thirty skin-melting onion rings to go airborne amongst my family.

But she managed the offload well, and I tipped her five bucks on the $28.37.  Toney rolled her eyes at that, and we started tearing into our food.  And when I unsheathed the hyper-extended hotdog, I saw that it had nothing on it.  It was just naked:  a wiener on a bun.  Grrr…

I saw Macy go rolling through my peripheral vision, and tried to flag her down.  But she just coasted on by…  So, I had to move all the food that was piled up on my legs, and kick open the door.  I went over to the command center, and some super-eager guy asked if there was a problem.

I told him the sad tale, and he said he’d make me a replacement right away.  “Just throw some chili and stuff on this one,” I said.  But he backed away from it, like it was a loaded gun.  “We’re not allowed,” he replied.  “I’ll bring you a new one.”

What the shit?  I walked back to my car with a really, really long hotdog with no toppings, and climbed back in beneath my lunch.

And within seconds ol’ Eager Beaver was there thrusting a fully-dressed Coney Island at me.  Then he stuck his head inside the car, and told us in a conspiratorial voice that the girl who took our order is new and has been making a few mistakes.  His entire head and neck were in front of my steering wheel, and I was pressed back as far as I could go.

“It’s OK,” I said, my skull crushed into the upholstery, attempting to get away from the guy’s face.  He continued to apologize, for a few beats too long, and finally left us.  Good god.

Yeah, and the dog was pretty good, but the onion rings were, perhaps, the worst I’ve ever eaten.  They had some kind of weird, musky aftertaste.  It was like the flavor version of a basement with moisture trouble.  Ketchup and barbecue sauce couldn’t even knock it down, so I just gave up.  And you know it’s a bad situation when I leave uneaten rings in the sack…

In the future I might go there alone, but I can’t see me taking the family again.  There are just too many superior options for $33.37.  I can envision me craving a hotdog with a load of toppings some day, and going over there by myself.  But not for a fambly lunch.  Never again.  And those onion rings are off the docket forever.

After we left Sonic, we went to the Steamtown Mall.  Toney wanted to go to a store there, and I took advantage of the post office inside, which stays open on Saturdays until 6 pm.  I needed to mail a DVD box set to some guy in Michigan, and this worked out perfectly.

And once we were finished, we backed out of our parking space and it felt like the front passenger wheel spun-out on something for a split-second.  The heck?  As we continued to back up, I saw that one of the Secrets had dumped the naked hotdog on the floor of the parking garage, and I’d just run over it.  Two-thirds of it was mashed, and the remaining third was pristine.

“You threw trash out of the car?” I hollered.

“I didn’t know what to do with it,” the younger boy confessed.  “Look how long it is.”

And for some reason that satisfied me, and I didn’t say anything else about it.

I’d give the whole experience a C-.  The Coney Island dog was good, and I didn’t hear any complaints from Toney, or the backseat.  But I think it was a little too expensive, and the rings were horrible.  In fact, I think I can still taste them.

Thank you for reading.  This is Jeff Kay reporting.

Further fast food shenanigans

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Comments

  1. --Steve says

    November 10, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    2:30am!!

    Reply
    • --Steve says

      November 10, 2011 at 2:59 pm

      (that was my first First!)

      Reply
      • Miss Q says

        November 10, 2011 at 3:10 pm

        Yay, Steve! I’ve reconciled myself to the fact that I will never, in fact, be first. But I heartily congratulate those who make it.

        Reply
    • Jamie Renee says

      June 21, 2012 at 4:46 am

      Okay I was looking for the disgusting “secret” ingredient to Sonic onion rings and found your blog. Its 3:34 am CST in Texas, and Im delirious and tired. But to make a list for my own blog of disgusting “secret” ingredients from fast food places, I did a google search and found your blog.
      I laughed SO hard. The sleeping dog and cat we’re ticked.
      I just passed a Sonic on my way home this evening from work. I was with my mother (yes I am 31 and capable of driving myself, but we all have car trouble) She asked if she should have stopped at Sonic, since it was on the way. HAHA!!!! I opted to just NOT EAT dinner, than to eat Sonic. Rarely, and I mean RARELY will I eat it, considering this IS Texas, with the next food around. 😀
      But just like I find myself writing blog entries, upon which I do use spell and grammar check unlike here, it was quite refreshing to see someone, whomever you may be, write a hilarious, serious, sarcastic, and witty entry about what COULD HAVE been a mundane topic.
      Now mind you as a Native Texan, (yes that goes in capital letters) I lived in Tennessee for 13 years. Traveled all over the South, SE, and North and East of all of that. I guess I’ve never heard such terms as “corn of cob” – we call it “corn ON the cob,” the last time I ate goulash I was 7 and I think my best friends parents were broke and fed us dog food, and I have no clue what “souse” and “poutine” are but I will now go Google those. They sound vulgar, and not in a, disgusting food way. HAHAHAHA
      So I’m not the only one who writes funny blogs, (well I think they are funny) about simple things. THANK YOU! I have inspiration, whoever you might be, from whenever this was written.
      But, KUDOS TO YOU for ordering a Dr. Pepper!!!!! Texas born and bread!!!!!!! WOOOOO!!!!!!!
      PS: Here, anything carbonated and brown its a coke, then someone says “What kind of coke do you want?” So By all means, in no way do I find Y’all odd…. 🙂 We have quirks too. But just that one.
      I wonder if on my blog I linked to is the explanation of how “you guys” versus “y’all” is totally wrong and completely right though…….

      Reply
  2. WB in OH says

    November 10, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Oh the irony!!

    Reply
  3. JCIII says

    November 10, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Good Afternoon Surf Reporters!!

    Reply
  4. dogberryjr says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:01 pm

    A Chick-Fil-A opened here in Chucktown last week and it was the same insane scene. Both drive-through lanes were clogged going out into the service road and people were parking at Sam’s across the road and hoofing it over. You KNOW it’s serious when people are walking from more than four spaces away.

    Reply
  5. t-storm says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    I love sonic but hate drive thru’s and that shit. In downtown OKC there is a walk in sonic that is ok by me but it is next to a far suprerior italian joint. Dilemons.

    Reply
  6. JCIII says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Never been to a Sonic. I’m not even sure where the closest one is located.

    Reply
  7. Miss Q says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:09 pm

    Oh, I see! 2:30 AM meant 2:00 PM in the afternoon. I got it now!

    I just had to point that out.

    Reply
  8. Miss Q says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    Why DO people get so excited when I new chain restaurant opens up? I don’t understand it myself.

    Reply
    • Miss Q says

      November 10, 2011 at 3:11 pm

      *gasp!!!* I typo-ed!!

      a new chain restaurant, not “I” new chain restaurant.

      Reply
    • Henderson says

      November 11, 2011 at 11:26 am

      I’m with you on that bit of bewilderment. I live in an admittedly small town, half of which stood in line to get into the new Olive Garden. Seriously?!

      I wouldn’t stand in line anywhere for more that 10 minutes even if they were giving away free blow and hookers.

      Reply
  9. doctorright says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    I think I’ll get in semi-early in the comments.

    Reply
    • doctorright says

      November 10, 2011 at 3:12 pm

      It appears my hesitation cost me a top 10. I needed those points. Shitdamn.

      Reply
  10. WB in OH says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    They built a Sonic around here in every town that had over 15k in population. Most of them are closed. The one they built here in Sidney is still open but I’ve never bothered to try it out. If it gets a C- from a fast food conoisseur/critic such as yourself I think I’ll pass.

    Of course I had to google Macy Gray, now I’ll be stuck listening to everything I can find from her trying to decide if I love her voice or find it grating.

    Jeff, I’m sendind you some money to offset the cost of your meal, you hit it out of the park with this one!

    Reply
  11. Uncle_Wedgie says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    So do they roller skate during the Upper Perogie Belt winter?

    Reply
    • Rick says

      November 10, 2011 at 3:58 pm

      High speed on ice! Haha!

      Reply
  12. Phil Jett says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    We have two Sonics that are 1 1/2 miles apart. They have been open for 2 years or so and I never see more than three or four cars in the lots.

    I tried it once and it was a hassle and a cluster. The food was okay but not worth a return visit. I’m not sure how they both stay open.

    Reply
  13. Jason says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Sonic is a real crap shoot. There’s one near us that does a decent job, but there’s another one where you never know what you’ll get. Sometimes I go there and order 3 corndogs (.99 each) and they shove a huge bag in front of me and ask for $40. Sonic is a bit expensive, I think.

    Their onion rings, I’ve been ranting about that forever. It taste like they mix some ice cream powder in with the batter or something. I agree with you, fucking gross.

    Last time I ate there I got a hotdog with tomato, peppers, and I don’t know what else on it. I was shooting for the foot long, but somehow ended up with this thing.

    I always tip the girls too. Just seems like the right thing to do. But one of the ones near me has a proper drive-thru and I’ll go there during their “happy hour” and get 1/2 priced drinks.

    Reply
    • Bill in WV says

      November 10, 2011 at 3:45 pm

      I tried that pepper dog or whatever the hell they call it and I can now say that I’ve happily marked that one off the ‘ol bucket list. Never again.

      Reply
  14. --Steve says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    I think “And you know it’s a bad situation when I leave uneaten rings in the sack” and ““I didn’t know what to do with it, Look how long it is.” should be entered into the Best of the WSVR register.

    Reply
  15. Tipsey McChugney says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    I am not sure what this means, but Sonic spelled backwards is cinos.

    Reply
  16. rob says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Sonic is ok if you’re starving and there’s NOTHING else around. I think it is expensive for what it is, but the Sonic Blast with crumbled Oreos is fairly awesome. Also, the Route 44 cherry limeade is great on a hot summer day. Yeah, the onion rings are horrible.

    Reply
  17. Tammie says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    Never been to a Sonic before. Apparently there is one around here someplace but I doubt I’ll bother to go.
    If I do happen to end up there I’ll probably just have an ice cream based something or other.
    I like big wieners and I like them plain, but I prefer to enjoy them in the privacy of my own home where I can prepare them to my liking.

    Reply
    • Bill in WV says

      November 10, 2011 at 3:47 pm

      St. Albans, just west of the bridge.

      Reply
    • madz1962 says

      November 10, 2011 at 4:24 pm

      Tammie, I like big wieners in the privacy of my own home too.

      We are talking about hot dogs, arent we? (hee hee)

      Reply
      • Tammie says

        November 12, 2011 at 12:36 am

        Hot dogs, bratwursts, kielbasas…all of them are delicious, mouth-watering experiences if they’re prepared correctly and then slowly savored before being devoured.

        🙂

        Reply
    • icecycle66 says

      November 10, 2011 at 5:48 pm

      Raw dawg, hell yeah.

      Reply
  18. T. Farty McAppleass says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    New update on the disgusting onion rings: apparently they fry them in the same oil that they use for french toast sticks. That’s why they have that disgusting taste. Same thing with the fried pickles, and to a lesser extent, the cheddar peppers.

    Others theorize that they use pancake batter to dip the onion rings in.

    More news as it develops.

    Reply
    • Nezrite says

      November 12, 2011 at 2:13 am

      OMG, the only time I’ve been to Sonic, I had the onion rings and was sick all afternoon. I told my husband that I SWORE it tasted like they’d added vanilla to the batter – it was way too sweet. I figured it was because it was a new Sonic and they hadn’t worked the bugs out.

      Thank you for letting me know I wasn’t out of my mind.

      Reply
  19. T. Farty McAppleass says

    November 10, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Ah ha! Here’s a little whore that used to work at Sonic, had to make onion rings every day. This is a “copy cat” recipe. One of the ingredients (she calls it the “secret ingredient”) is “melted vanilla ice milk”. I knew it BITCHES!

    http://www.copykat.com/2009/05/19/original-sonic-onion-ring-recipe/

    Reply
  20. icecycle66 says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    With my luck, I could dive into a bucket of tits and come out sucking my own crank.

    Reply
    • sunshine_in_va says

      November 10, 2011 at 6:45 pm

      LOLWUT?

      Reply
  21. WB in OH says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    I think Frisch’s Big Boy has the best onion rings you’re ever going to find. Of course it’s a regional chain so some of you probably haven’t tried them.

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      November 11, 2011 at 10:15 pm

      WB, I’m from the Left Coast, but went to military training in the MidWest. YEAH…anything Frisch’s absolutely rocks!!!!!!

      Reply
  22. icecycle66 says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    I too would back away if you pointed your bare weenie at me.

    Reply
  23. Vicki says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    The only thing I really love at Sonic is Ocean Water –but must have lime wedges. I’ll start thinking about that taste every now and then and can’t sit still until I have one. I mean, please, it’s just Sprite with some blue coloring and fake coconut flavored chemical, right? I think they put nicotine or cocaine in there.

    Reply
    • Food dude says

      August 4, 2013 at 10:37 pm

      Yeah, you’re right. It’s good.

      Reply
  24. T. Farty McAppleass says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    You bastards ever have Burger King onion rings with their “dipping sauce”? Not bad, not bad at all.

    Reply
    • WB in OH says

      November 10, 2011 at 4:45 pm

      Burger King onion rings are extruded, child please!

      Reply
      • T. Farty McAppleass says

        November 10, 2011 at 5:10 pm

        Well the batter doesn’t contain ice cream, for fucksake.

        Reply
        • WB in OH says

          November 10, 2011 at 5:22 pm

          Well, I suppose you got a point there. I had a Whopper for lunch, can still taste the onions. I’ll try the rings next time through, please don’t hate me.

          Reply
          • T. Farty McAppleass says

            November 10, 2011 at 5:41 pm

            They have some kind of California burger that’s smeared in Wack-a-mole sauce. I think I’m going to try it. I don’t ever get their onions on my hamburg-sandwich. Never! They’re so strong!

            Reply
            • WB in OH says

              November 10, 2011 at 6:26 pm

              I’ll pass on the wack-a-mole sauce.

              Reply
              • AngryWhiteGuy says

                November 14, 2011 at 8:28 am

                Never order the jack sauce at Jack-In-The-Box. Pepe can’t keep up with the orders and there is usually a 20 minute wait.

                Reply
            • icecycle66 says

              November 10, 2011 at 6:42 pm

              Strong like the embrace of a crying man.

              Reply
  25. Sluggy says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    ““I didn’t know what to do with it,” the younger boy confessed. “Look how long it is.””

    That’s what she said…..

    Reply
  26. madz1962 says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:42 pm

    I’m still lauging thinking of this kid ramming his entire head and neck into your car. Did he say “Hi dee ho, Neighbor!”?

    I don’t have a Sonic by me. But, on one corner of Rte 6 and another roadway we have: McDonalds, Wendys, Friendlys, KFC, 3 pizza places, 2 Chinese places (and a partridge in a pair tree!) and 2 Italian delis. Wendys burnt down a number of years ago and the whole town had a freaking pall over it.

    Pall – reminds me of Pall Mall. I wouldn’t wa to shop at the Pall Mall.

    Oh God stop me – I need sleep.

    Reply
    • WB in OH says

      November 10, 2011 at 4:48 pm

      My friends father (RIP), used to smoke the unfiltered Pall Malls, when we couldn’t find anything else to smoke we’d steal a few sticks from good ol’ Gene. Harsh!

      Reply
      • clintcurtis says

        November 11, 2011 at 10:20 pm

        Heck with Pall Mall. I used to smoke a lot when I worked on a boat. I occasionally bummed a smoke from this old guy in the engine room who smoked Chesterfield straights (unfiltered). Yikes, it was equivalent to the finest maijuana I ever smoked. I swear, 3 puffs and the room was spinning!

        Reply
  27. bikerchick says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    “I didn’t know what to do with it, Look how long it is”…
    I’ve had that very same problem. But I figured it out.

    Reply
    • Tammie says

      November 11, 2011 at 1:08 pm

      HAHAHAHA! How I love your comments Bikerchick!

      Reply
  28. m says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    I hate Sonic onion rings, and I love onion rings in general. Dairy Queen has pretty good onion rings. I go to Sonic when I’m craving a corn dog or for cherry limeade. I hate their hamburgers, their fries aren’t good, and I’m not a fan of tater tots in general. I used to love the fried pickles, but neither of our Sonics serve them now. They serve breakfast now, but I cannot even begin to imagine what sort of breakfast one might get at Sonic.

    Reply
  29. Darktech Kelly says

    November 10, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    You’re right. Sonic is unnecessarily expensive. My last experience: Two cheeseburgers, a large coke and tots = 10 bucks…?! Holy overpriced hell!!!!

    Reply
  30. kristin says

    November 10, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    I was completely OFFENDED by today’s further evidence link. Right after I was done laughing my ass off.

    Reply
    • bikerchick says

      November 10, 2011 at 5:09 pm

      Fucked up, isn’t it?? Unbelievable irony. The Penn State scandal is the ONLY thing in the news here in Pittsburgh. Sad. How the mighty have fallen.

      Reply
  31. madz1962 says

    November 10, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Further Evidence – I am definitely getting mine in “leather Bound”.

    Reply
  32. bikerchick says

    November 10, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    I’ve never had Sonic food. Sounds like I’m not missing much.

    When IHOP opened it’s first restaurant in the area, people were waiting over 2 hours to be seated!!! TWO hours!! Retarded.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      November 10, 2011 at 5:39 pm

      2 HOURS for pancakes with an ice cream scoop of butter on top? Jeez, no thanks.

      If they ever put a Sonic or Taco Bell in around here they better break out the riot gear.

      Reply
    • icecycle66 says

      November 10, 2011 at 5:47 pm

      Yeah, fuhg ‘dat.

      We just had an IHOP open in town.
      When I drove by to try it out, I saw people standing in line out the door.

      There is no way I would wait longer than zero minutes to eat at a French Denny’s.

      Reply
      • Henderson says

        November 11, 2011 at 11:31 am

        I knew a girl that worked at IHOP. She had one leg shorter than the other and her name was Eileen.

        I knew a girl that worked at IHOP in Japan. She had one leg shorter than the other and her name was Irene.

        Reply
        • madz1962 says

          November 11, 2011 at 2:38 pm

          This mad eme LOL! Thanks, Henderson!

          Reply
  33. CADude says

    November 10, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    A Sonic opened up in my neck of the woods (South OC) a couple of years ago, and you’d have thought they were giving away money with the crowds they drew. They were directing cars to a staging area in a Target parking lot across the street from which you can’t even see the Sonic, and using walkie-talkies to communicate re: the availability of the precious roll-up spaces. The drive-thru line just backed up onto the street. After a couple of months it all died down, and I haven’t seen it full recently.

    I can think of better ways to get bad calories, so I’ve never been to Sonic.

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      November 11, 2011 at 3:52 am

      Wow…all for Sonic? Out in Washingto, there were lines half a mile long for the first Krispy Creme. Local burger joint, Dick’s Drive-In opened a new store (the 4th after 50-some years) and had people waiting in line for at least 2 hours on opening day, Hey, it’s a great burger, but I’d rather just drive 20 minutes south to the original location and be served within minutes!

      Reply
      • FirstNations says

        November 11, 2011 at 11:39 am

        Yes! I remember that! It was all over the local news and everything! Good Gravy Marie people it’s a goddamn DONUT SHOP.
        Dicks, on the other hand, is fast food Nirvana. My old local up on Capitol Hill used to host Bill Gates. But the ultimate Seattle stoner burger heaven is DAGS, baby. Five bucks used to buy you an actual grocery sack full…a cheapo Franz bun with a 60-40 burger, a slice of chemical cheese, a squirt of ketchup and a neon green pickle. Grab a bag o’ Dags!

        Reply
        • clintcurtis says

          November 11, 2011 at 10:26 pm

          Oh yeah, a Dagillac!!!!! But since they closed down, it’s Dick’s or a trip over the bridge to Burgermaster. And if your not in a burger mood, Spud Fish and Chips, for sure! (since Skippers kind went sorta outta biz)
          . But Spud has been aroud forever.

          Reply
      • m says

        November 13, 2011 at 10:32 pm

        Well, all the hoopla is justified for Krispy Kreme. Ours got destroyed in the April tornado, and I will probably be standing in line when it reopens.

        Reply
      • Marshall says

        November 13, 2012 at 9:28 am

        In my opinion the best meal you can get in Washington, for a teenage boy, that is, would be a deluxe, fries, and then you have to go fast and get a chili dog from A&W, when you have all the parts, your meal is complete. Return home and enjoy.

        Reply
  34. madz1962 says

    November 10, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    Speaking of food… today I brought in a bowl of stew for lunch. I couldn’t eat it – I am sick of it from eating it for days when our power was out.

    It has been such a horrendous day, I am actually thinking of dumping it in the toilet and walking out without flushing.

    It will look like the Picasso of asslsions!

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      November 10, 2011 at 6:05 pm

      I swear I typed “assplosions”.

      Reply
    • icecycle66 says

      November 10, 2011 at 6:44 pm

      Ass lesions…kinky.

      Reply
      • madz1962 says

        November 11, 2011 at 11:52 am

        The third stage of assplosions.

        Reply
  35. sunshine_in_va says

    November 10, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    It’s these kind of reports that I live for from you, Jeff! Shit is ALWAYS happening to you!

    Reply
    • WB in OH says

      November 10, 2011 at 6:29 pm

      Yep, any time Jeff interacts with the great unwashed, comedy rolls off the keyboard.

      Reply
      • sunshine_in_va says

        November 10, 2011 at 6:49 pm

        Well we all know it could happen to any one of us. So when it happens to Jeff, I just think of it as his “taking one for the team”. Besides, it spawns some of his best (i.e. bitchy) writing!

        Reply
  36. mi2tall says

    November 10, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    Sonic’s Super Sonic Jalapeno Cheeseburger is frickin’ perfection on a bun.
    Just sayin’

    Reply
  37. WV.Hillbilly says

    November 10, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Here’s what pisses me off about Sonic. It’s a drive in. You eat in your car.
    What don’t they give you?
    A FRICKING TRAY.
    Like those kind that hang on your window. So you don’t have to set your burger in your crotch.

    Reply
  38. chill says

    November 10, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    I think there’s a Sonic “near” me, like Culpeper or Camp Hill. I’ve never eaten at one, but it sounds expensive and bad. That’s an unappealing combination.
    .

    Reply
  39. Mike says

    November 10, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    Never been to a Sonic. I think the closest one is about 90 miles away or so. Now I think I won’t ever bother. Thank you for saving me the hassle of learning all of this myself.

    Reply
  40. clintcurtis says

    November 11, 2011 at 12:46 am

    Drove cross country several years ago and stopped at a Sonic in Rapid City, Soth Dakota. Pretty good food…actually would have been really good had I got back t the car from the restroom when it was delivered to my friend in the passenger seat,
    Good onion rings, no Great onion rings…wait til Red Robobin moves into your area, Burgers are great , fish and chips awesome. The only thing I stay away from now is their nachos ever since they started putting chili on them instead of taco meat, Still a good place to eat,

    Reply
    • Phil Jett says

      November 11, 2011 at 8:56 am

      Red Robin onion rings are the best of any restaurants in our area. I also really like the Red Robin Royal burger…the bacon and egg…perfect.

      Reply
  41. doctorright says

    November 11, 2011 at 1:15 am

    On a light note, eleven eleven eleven.

    More importantly, happy Veterans Day. Many thanks.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      November 11, 2011 at 11:53 am

      Ditto – Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

      Reply
  42. dto says

    November 11, 2011 at 8:35 am

    Sonic once. Ten or so years ago in Taos. We ordered off the “Drunk & Hungry” menu. No roller skating beauties as I recall. We had an old lady walk over complaining about her bunions.

    Reply
  43. johnthebasket says

    November 11, 2011 at 10:07 am

    There must be a dozen independent burger joints within half an hour of my house that have better food and service than Sonic. Why would I spend my money at a corporate fast-food outlet?

    In other news of everybody wanting to act and eat and play exactly the same, John Daly ran out of golf balls, but never, ever runs out of balls….

    http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/blog/devil_ball_golf/post/John-Daly-runs-out-of-balls-during-tournament-w?urn=golf-wp6786

    .
    Go, Johnny, go go…

    jtb

    Reply
    • Lee Harvey Ramone says

      November 11, 2011 at 12:49 pm

      I used to drop by the Pick Quick in Fife back when I lived in Oly, typically when I was enroute to or from Sea-Tac. A great little throw-back to a different era.

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        November 11, 2011 at 3:32 pm

        Lee Harvey…

        Pick Quick is still in business and still thriving. They still use fresh fruit in their shakes, still cut their own fries, and still make burgers that no chain can touch. Also, they still have their picnic area with funky wood tables and lots of trees.

        It’s just about 15 minutes from my house. I frequently have to remind myself to stop going there for lunch.

        When did you live in Oly? Maybe whilst Kurt and Mary Lou were hanging there?

        jtb

        Reply
    • CADude says

      November 11, 2011 at 4:02 pm

      I watched several episodes of “Being John Daly” on the golf channel a while back. He was fairly well-behaved, but it was still a lot like watching a train wreck.

      Yeah, the golf channel. Shit. That’s depressing when put in writing.

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        November 11, 2011 at 10:54 pm

        My love for John Daly is based on the not-too-esoteric notion that we are all train wrecks. Most of us wreck in slow motion — John exits the tracks at superspeed, again and again and again. I admire him for being human and for being entirely unapologetic about it.

        jtb

        Reply
        • clintcurtis says

          November 12, 2011 at 3:05 am

          Jon, Washington has great, great independents. Snohomish has the Pilchuck Drive-In. Rt. 9 between Snohomish and Arlington it’s King Charlies, out on Highy 2 it’s always Zekes. Just watch the traffic there…I think Harborview should station a helicopter there because of all the accidents getting in and out. Oh, and if you ever get over to Spokane, the Longhorn on Highway 2 several mile east of the Air Force base is incredible!

          Reply
  44. FirstNations says

    November 11, 2011 at 11:48 am

    Sonic is someplace I’ll never go to again. I went into the driveup only wanting a medium Pepsi and had to endure five fucking minutes of confirmation and upsell. Isn’t this supposed to be FAST food? If I wanted slow food I’d hang around the Farmers damn Market. Thats why I like Mickey D’s. You order your food, you get your food, dont’ let the door hit you in the ass, farewell. It’s the skeezy car date of the fast food world.

    Reply
  45. T. Farty McAppleass says

    November 11, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    I’m more fond of Wendy’s now that they have toasted buns. Dave’s hot and juicy, or whatever, they’re good. I don’t like regular Wendy’s hamburgers beacuase the buns are cold and the pickles taste like they’ve been dipped in perfume.

    I saw Dave on tv before his heart exploded, he was shoving a burger in his mouth, going on and on about how magnificent it was. There was onion sliding down his neck. Filthy bastard.

    Reply
  46. Brittney says

    November 11, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    I’ve never really been a big fan of onion rings in general, so this story made me really not a fan of them. On the other hand, I have eaten a few before from BK and they were alright. I prefer the southwest sauce with everything else and not just the onion rings.

    I have never eaten at a Sonic before, but by the sounds of it, I’m not missing much. When I was in Wisconsin a few years back, we went to a Dog N’ Suds drive-in that had really good root beer floats, I was a kid though, so I don’t really remember what my lunch of choice was, I just remember having a root beer float and recording conversations with my cousin on his TalkBoy and practically choking on it as we giggled hysterically in the back seat.

    Has anyone ever had Portillos hot dogs or even heard of it? I’m not sure if it’s just a Midwest chain or countrywide, but they have really good steamed hot dogs and just as good food in general.

    Reply
  47. TMM says

    November 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Love Dog N’ Suds!

    Reply
  48. madz1962 says

    November 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    I’m waiting for the Northeast to get an In ‘N Out burger joint.

    And we only have one Checkers all the way out on Long Island that I only go to if I head to the beach. (it’s a must stop fo a Big Buford).

    And nary a Chik Fil Let to be found.

    No Sonic, no Dairy Queen and the closest Taco Bell is 15 miles of backroads. Shit, even the closest Burger King became a bank.

    Reply
    • m says

      November 13, 2011 at 10:37 pm

      I’m waiting for the South to get In N Out, too. We have a Chic Fil A right across the street from Dairy Queen. An In N Out would just round it out perfectly.

      Reply
  49. Greg says

    November 11, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    madz, you’re so deprived! you live in New York, and don’t have any of those? I’ve got everything you mentioned and lots more, and I live in WV! Of course, they’re all crap to begin with, but I’ll to give a thumbs up to the Checkers fries. I don’t know how they’re flavored, but they’re really good.

    Reply
  50. dto says

    November 11, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    Been home a day and the local buzz is there’s a Subway coming here in my little village. Fast food joints are 85 miles to the south. There is a Mickey D’s and a Pizza Hut 50 miles to the north. The tourists will flock to the Subway I’m sure. The locals will be judgmental.

    Reply
    • Greg says

      November 11, 2011 at 10:34 pm

      Well, at least, it’s a little healthier than those other two.

      Reply
      • dto says

        November 12, 2011 at 2:47 am

        Agreed. I’m not a food prude by any means but I am a fresh fruits,veggies,nuts and grains kinda guy. No fast food drive thur bill of fare for me. Here in New Mexico there’s a ‘chain’ named “Blake’s Lota Burger” I do bow at their alter.. We just call ’em Blake’s and they’ve been around about 60 years. Killer food. Breakfast burrito to double green chile cheeseburger….killer! And by the way…the onion rings?….YUM….

        Reply
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