So, how’s 2014 treating you so far? I’d give it a B-. Nothing too horrible, but I’m tired. I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn this morning to take the younger boy to the orthodontist, and the morning hours don’t agree with us night people. I’d love to call off from work, climb back into bed, and snooze for another four hours or so.
But, of course, that won’t happen. I have a strange habit of showing up when I’m expected. There’s snow on the way, too. A few days ago “they” were saying we might get as much as 16 inches of the stuff, but now the prediction has been cut down to 5 inches, or so. Still, the drive home tonight could be an eventful one. Something else to worry about…
School is closed (once again!) in anticipation of the snowstorm. Nothing is happening out there, but everything is shut down. I don’t think our kids have been to class since late October. It feels like it, anyway.
I have no doubt there will be a few call-offs at the job too, and we’ll be bobbing for apples in an open sewer all evening. It never stops, literally.
But I don’t fault people for staying home if they feel unsafe. Some people truly freak out at the prospect of driving on slick roads, and I understand and accept that. But I’d like to know about the LAME excuses you’ve heard for not showing up. Please tell us about them in the comments section below.
One of my all-time favorites: a person called off at one of my former jobs because he’d been contacted by an aggressive bill collector who upset him so badly he wasn’t able to report to work. Ha! I also like the ones that can’t come in because their roommate is stressed out. Not them, their roommate. Stoopid.
Do you have anything on this subject? If so, please share.
And before I call it day… you might have noticed a few small changes to the site? I (somebody else, who knows what he’s doing) removed the Essential Daily Links box in the sidebar, where Bunker Cam and Further Evidence used to be housed. And I’m going to start posting those things directly to the site, instead. I don’t think too many people were clicking the links — my own wife didn’t even know they were there.
Also, the way my life is going, I’m not able to write actual updates as often as I once did. This new format will keep the site from becoming stale. I’m going to attempt to post something every day — seven days per week. It might be a Bunker Cam photo, a Further Evidence link, an actual update, or any combination thereof.
It’ll be an adjustment for long-timers, but I think it will ultimately be a positive. If you come across any wacked-out photos, websites, or news articles that you think are Surf Report-worthy, please send them my way. The internet is the gift that keeps on giving, and I’m gonna try to curate a small cross-section of it. Help me out, won’t you?
And I’m going to work now. I hope you guys have a great day, and the snow doesn’t cause too many problems for any of us. Sheesh. It’s already been a ball-masher of a winter, and it’s just gotten started.
See ya next time!
Now playing in the bunker
Buy yourself something cool at Amazon!
Never Mind the Bollocks says
First .. Ha! 2014 is starting off great!
I like the idea of saving the Cam and Evidence links for the days you’re not able to do a full update. I assume that stuff can be written in advance & kept in reserve until needed? Not sure how WordPress works.
Also what was the news with the October (? so long ago…) pageviews push? Anything come of that?
Phantom Railfan says
Excuses I’ve heard, most from my retail and food service jobs:
–I can’t come in because its raining.
–I can’t come in because my third cousin got shot.
–I’m not coming in tonight because it’s the series finale of “Family Ties.”
–I have to leave early because my wife’s hubcaps got stolen and now she’s scared to be alone.
–I have to quit because my husband says there’s too many Mexican customers at this mall.
–I don’t feel comfortable working in a store that sells satanic novels by Stephen King.
–I’m staying home because the pattern on the office carpet makes me dizzy.
–I cant come in because there’s a bat sleeping in my carport.
Average Jane says
My favorite excuse was a woman who said she couldn’t come in because she’d gotten one of those round hairbrushes stuck in her hair and she couldn’t get it out.
Billy Joel says
I’m going to call off from work tomorrow because I’m so upset from the changes made to THEWVSR. I just can’t possibly function at work until this stress subsides. It might take a few days.
I hear ya. I still miss the eggplant.
Billy Joel says
…….and that bowl of corn………..
Is that an erection I smell?
What ever happened to the lightbulb counter? Did it burn out and I missed it?
Surly Shawn says
Most any calling off of work excuse is great, especially if you know the person it comes from and double especially if they are known for lame excuses.
That said, I know some of mine could end up on here, if I ever worked for any of you, but they were all legit. I swear. I was once told to bring in ‘funeral proof’ when my aunt passed away. I almost quit on the spot.
Now that I am older and wiser (in my mind, anyway), I just go with the classic ‘upset stomach’, aka diarrhea. No one questions that.
Omg, my husband worked for a warehouse for a huge national chain of hardware stores and my grandmother passed away and I was a mess. They made him bring in a memorial card from the funeral. Needless to say, he is no longer with that company. They were awful to work for.
Surly Shawn says
Yeah, that’s what I took to work and threw on my boss’s desk. I hope she got a paper cut from reading it.
I am also no longer with that place. It was a huge relief to be let go. Hint: it was a giant insurance company whose name rhymed with Blue Cross Blue Shield of Chicago.
Phil Jett says
We had an IT support guy call in sick today because he is out of vacation days. We earn vacation hours every two weeks, so unless you carried some over from last year you have none until the 15th of Jan. They allow us to carry over 80 hours from one year to the next.
“I can’t come into work because I haven’t washed clothes.”
“The new season of (whatever) starts today on TV at 3:00, so if I DO come in, I’ll have to leave early.”
“My wife has a toothache.”
“Burns when I pee.”
“There’s potato salad all over my carpet in the living room.”
On and on it goes.
Stephanie C says
Eighth (maid of milking), here!
I like the new idea for the site. I look forward to it.
T. Farty McAppleass says
I used to click the buttons first thing, and then come back and read the article, but I like the new idea.
I used to work with a guy in his mid 20’s who’s wife was confined to a wheelchair. They had two healthy kids, smoked like fiends, and used their inordinately large yearly tax returns to take vactions the rest of us couldn’t afford. When he called in one day because they had car trouble, all I could think was, “you mean Bobby couldn’t find another set of wheels…”
I worked with the QUEEN of lame excuses. Let’s see:
I can’t come in because my garage door is frozen shut.
I can’t some in because my mom tied a rubber band around the dog’s tail and it cut off circulation… (1/2 hour later) the mobile vet’s van has a flat tire in my driveway….
I can’t come in because the Governor declared my street a state of emergency…. yep, that’s right, just my street.
I can’t come in because my mother/aunt/husband/scarecrow just fell down a flight of stairs.
I can’t come in because I accidentally stabbed myself in the eye with the fake Christmas tree bough.
I can’t come in because my car felt like it was pulling to the left.
Oh there are more. Let me consult my files (yeah, I saved this shit).
I CAN’T KEEP UP!
2014 pretty good so far
Won $100. in WV Powerball last nite
I’m good with the changes. Doesn’t really change anything other than where the extras end up.
I worked at an OB/gyne office many years ago. The lady who was the office manager always called off with crazy shit……
“I fell and ripped my pantyhose.”
“The heel broke off of my shoe.”
“The doors are frozen shut on my car…all four of them.”
I ran out of windshield wiper fluid.”
…..and the best:
“The door blew off my car while going down the highway”
This weather blows. We’ve already accumulated the entire amount that was predicted and the storm hasn’t hit yet. It’s colder than a brass monkey.
Meh–the year’s going well so far (employment’s always a good thing!) but the fact that I now have to get up at 4:40 to get to work by 6 am is something to get used to!
The weather’s promising to be a mess this weekend, but I’m not worried about it. It’s St. Louis–it gets cold. It snows. Why are we not used to this yet?!!
I see John Bolaris, the most interesting weatherman in the world, is back in the saddle.
Winter hasn’t started yet in the sunny San Joaquin. It was almost 70 degrees yesterday, and so far our annual rainfall is about 1/4″. If we don’t start having “winter” soon, it’s really going to suck water-wise around the middle of summer out here. I grew up in the upper Midwest, and kind of wish I was out there in the real winter with ya’all. Years like this I miss having actual seasons. Maybe in retirement, if I can talk my wife into it.
On the subject of call-offs, we used to have this drunk jackass at work who came in after not showing up for a week and told the boss he was abducted by aliens. Another time he said he was kidnapped by a couple, who drove him to his own house. There, they made him watch them have sex, then after they were finished they cleaned his house and left. On top of that, he managed to get promoted to way above his intelligence and ability level. He claimed he was a better technician than anyone else, but any time something actually broke he “got a headache and had to go home”. Me, I think I broke the last joint of my left index finger with a 24 oz framing hammer messing around in the garage yesterday, and I’ll tape it up, take a couple aspirin and go to work tonight. No sissy stuff like doctors or calling off here.
The Qweezy Mark says
I’ve been extremely regular so far in 2014 !
I like the change to the site. I knew the bunker cam existed, but hardly ever clicked it. And it does seem like extra content, so that’s great.
Sorry to hear there will be fewer updates, but understandable.
damn driveway is finally plowed and shoveled, cars are cleaned off, mailbox now accessible and the access to the garbage won’t cause anyone to go on their ass. And thus ends Snowageddon Hercules up here in the Northeast.