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A New Website, and What Would You Ask a Man From the Future?

January 24, 2011 By Jeff 52 Comments

I woke up in a foul mood this morning, for no real reason.  Contrary to popular belief, I’m usually in a good mood, but not today.  I think I’m at the end of my rope with all these freaking hours I’m working; I’m exhausted and way past burned-out.  I was irritable and agitated before I’d even separated my heft from the platform

Plus, I’m waiting on several important emails.  And do they arrive?  No, they do not.  That doesn’t help.  I’m highly accomplished in the art of being an impatient nutcase when it comes to waiting.  I start getting all fixated and strange.

So, I wouldn’t be expecting too much today.  Just a heads up.

I get to meet my new boss this afternoon, and I’m a little uneasy about it.  My current boss is leaving the company, and they hired his replacement from the outside.  Clearly, she has the power to make my life a living hell.

There’s no indication that she’ll be so inclined, but it’s a concern.  I’ve worked for some really great people, and a few walkin’ talkin’ prolapsed anuses.  At this point I don’t know if I even possess the energy to deal with an anus.  I really don’t.

Wish me luck.  Hopefully she subscribes to the “if it ain’t broke…” theory.  Time will tell.

For a few weeks I’ve been tinkering with a new website, where I plan to post about creativity, writing, and publishing.  I want to do interviews with writers, and other folks involved in creative endeavors.  It won’t necessarily be about the laughs, although there will certainly be some humor.

Today I’m prepared to give you guys a sneak peek.  Please note that it’s still a work in progress, and some things aren’t fleshed-out yet.  So, there’s no need to point out all the failings, thank you very much.  It’ll get better with time… just give me some time.

Here ya go.

The first post will serve as an introduction, and an edited version will probably be used on the ABOUT page, as well.  Many of you are familiar with the story I tell in that first update.  But I needed to do it again, to get the ball rolling.

Also, most of you didn’t know the title of my novel, and now you do.  For what it’s worth.

Please note that the custom header was created by a guy at fiverr.com.  I love it, and it cost me five bucks.  Well… kinda sorta.  It was actually my fifth go-round with designers from that site, so it cost twenty-five dollars total.

Here are the four rejected headers.  That one on the bottom is really strange, like something you might see on a religious website.  It was created by an argumentative woman in a mysterious country, like Singapore or someplace like that.  She argued with me, in broken English, during the entire process.  Then she rejected my ideas, and sent me that weirdness.  I decided to just let it go.

Anyway, I plan to post two or three times per week at the new site.  It shouldn’t be a problem, because it’s about subjects that interest me.  It’ll be stuff that’s not really appropriate for the Surf Report, so I can just let ‘er rip without feeling guilty.

Some of you might be interested in this new project, and others won’t.  And that’s cool.  If it’s not your cup of tea, don’t sweat it.  The sites will have different audiences, eventually, with a small overlap.  At least that’s the way I see it.

And I need to call it a day
, my friends.  I need to go shake hands with my new overlord.  I’ll leave you now with a Question of the Day that occurred to me while listening to George Noory’s show a few nights ago…

If a man (or woman) entered your life in some way, and claimed to be a time-traveling visitor from fifty years in the future, what questions would you ask him or her?  What would you want to know?

Please tell us about it in the comments section.

And I’ll be back tomorrow.

See ya then!

Now playing in the bunker

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Filed Under: Daily

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lee Harvey Ramone says

    January 24, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Fist!

    Reply
    • Lee Harvey Ramone says

      January 24, 2011 at 1:36 pm

      Because I’m a fister….

      Reply
      • JCIII says

        January 24, 2011 at 1:40 pm

        you know what they say: warm fist, cold heart.

        Reply
        • Lee Harvey Ramone says

          January 24, 2011 at 1:45 pm

          Do they really say that?

          Reply
  2. JCIII says

    January 24, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..

    50 years from now I’ll be 94, so I’d guess I’d ask if I’m still alive.

    Reply
  3. Al says

    January 24, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    crap. missed on first.

    Reply
  4. Jimbo says

    January 24, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    Ha, nice headers. Almost all of them look like a generic template with “Crossroads Road” added. You could have slapped any URL on there, and it would have worked just as well. The exception is the one with some houses and a street sign… you know, since it incorporates “road” concepts.

    I’m not saying you got ripped off though. Looks like pretty decent work for $5 (or even $25). For $5, I would have produced something that looks roughly like a kindergartner’s creation.

    If I met someone from 50 years in the future… I’d probably first ask what companies to invest in. You know, the next Microsoft or Google.

    I’d also ask them whether or not this whole global warming thing has been scientifically proven, or whether it’s considered a load of bullshit.

    Reply
  5. Rick says

    January 24, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    I think if I met someone from 50 years in the future, I’d be happy to know that humans are still around 50 years in the future, and then ask them not to tell me anything… some things are better left unknown!!

    Reply
  6. The Qweezy Mark says

    January 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    If I met a woman from 50 years in the future, I’d ask her “Wanna fuck?”

    Reply
  7. Melissa says

    January 24, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    Good luck with the new boss, Jeff. I am in your situation on that ground. Our new director started earlier this month. She is changing things up, which is a good thing as our last director kept us in a timewarp for 20 years (I’ve only worked here for four of those though). I like our new director, but a lot don’t (I think they are scared of the changes) & it is because of them that my life is a living hell right now. There is massive tension, everyone is backstabbing in hopes to impress & there is a lot of “throwing under the bus” happening. It’s driving me mad & before I never particularly “liked” my job, but it was okay but now I almost cry every Sunday night at the thought of Monday rolling around the corner. I dream of the day when I can work from home (if anyone needs a virtual assistant, let me know!) or unrealistically win the lottery so I can quit altogether. Frustrating drama/madness is taking over my sanity. *Sigh.

    If someone entered my life saying they were from 50 years back or forward, I’d simply ask for them to give me 10 minutes to call the people I needed to call to say Sayonara & I’d meet them at their launchpad so they could take me with them. That would be awesome. I’d find out the important stuff along the way, I’m sure.

    Reply
    • bikerchick says

      January 24, 2011 at 2:34 pm

      Melissa: I know that Sunday into Monday feeling all to well. Never a good transition for me either. I am completely burned out.

      Reply
  8. Dave's not here, man says

    January 24, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    Who wins the superbowl, and what’s the point spread? Duh!

    Reply
    • Son of Sam says

      January 24, 2011 at 2:43 pm

      Steelers by 12 .

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        January 24, 2011 at 2:58 pm

        Knockin’ on Seven’s Door!!!

        Reply
        • WB in OH says

          January 24, 2011 at 3:21 pm

          That’s it I hate Steeler fans too…I just can’t fucking take it. Win win win, thats all you fuckers care about! What about the children for chrissakes? Do you guys ever think about the CHILDREN!

          Reply
          • madz1962 says

            January 24, 2011 at 3:36 pm

            They better line the schools on Monday, February 7 with grief and trauma counselors.

            Reply
            • bikerchick says

              January 24, 2011 at 3:40 pm

              …..for the Packer’s fans…

              Reply
          • Son of Sam says

            January 25, 2011 at 6:54 am

            In the words of George Carlin.”Fuck the children”

            Reply
            • madz1962 says

              January 25, 2011 at 8:27 am

              Thank God for George Carlin.

              Reply
  9. Dave's not here, man says

    January 24, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    I was just thinking… is this a super-intelligent being from the future that knows all, or just some schmuck lab assistant the scientisits sent back to test the new system? Cause I’m not bettin’ the farm on what some nerdy grad student remembers about football history before he was even born.
    Just sayin.
    ‘Nuff said.
    And all those other annoying paragraph enders.
    Pitt Party!

    Reply
  10. Dave's not here, man says

    January 24, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    Oh, and re: the bunker cam – I have no desire to join the Ferris Wheel club. Not that I couldn’t be done in a short time, mind you. But I would likely suffer from stage fright.

    Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      January 24, 2011 at 3:06 pm

      Performance anxiety and fear of heights do not make for a pleasant experience. At this time.

      Reply
  11. tomincola says

    January 24, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Ferris Wheel Club…I like it !! Maybe we can have t-shirts and hats made up .Will we need photos to verify ?

    Reply
    • Dave's not here, man says

      January 24, 2011 at 3:23 pm

      I’m torn on this one – I want to say yes, but I’m also aware that some photos submitted may cause my eyes to explode. I wonder if there will be enough photos of super hot girls to justify having to look at all the photos of what may seem like hippos mating on dry land.

      Reply
  12. Chuck in Belpre says

    January 24, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    Good luck with the new site, Jeff. When you come up with a sure-fire cure for writer’s block be sure to post it. I’ll be there.

    As for new bosses I have worked in places where the foreman changed monthly. We made at least one cry before he left. New bosses do not scare me.

    Reply
  13. Dave's not here, man says

    January 24, 2011 at 3:17 pm

    The new site looks good! I have a few things I’d like to share once the site gets going. Like writer’s block, which I seem to be having today. I can whip out a few anecdotes on some blogs like nobody’s business, but when it comes down to actually reqritingt he introduction for a project at work…

    I finished up the whole thing and passed it off to the boss two weeks ago. He didn’t immediately reply with corrections, so that was good. All in all, he only came back with little changes, the kind that just say, “I’m the boss and I’m gonna find some things in your work to correct.” No sweat – happens all the time and I’m used to it.

    But then he said, “I hate the introduction. Try something else.” And I’ve been stewing over that for about a week now. Thursday he asked how it was coming along, and I told him I just got started. He was OK with that, but the next time he asks about it I am going to be totally out of excuses. So I really should write it up. But it just won’t come. Besides, I am way too busy writing important articles for the WVSR.

    heh. I’m not really a writer anyway, I just fake it well enough to get by.

    Reply
  14. madz1962 says

    January 24, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    I would want to know who wins every Kentucky Derby and will there be a Triple Crown winner within that 50 year time span?.

    I would also lik to know if gasoline will be $87.89 9/10 per gallon in 50 years

    Reply
  15. bikerchick says

    January 24, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Good luck with the new website. I have no doubt it will be just as popular in time as this one.

    Sometimes I have doubts about ANYTHING being around in 50 years. Shit rolls down hill and it seems as though that turd gets bigger and bigger every day. But I would probably ask about music, movies and TV. I can’t imagine what could possible be next after they have reality TV’d us to death. And with 3D movies AND TV now…what’s next?

    Reply
  16. Lee Harvey Ramone says

    January 24, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    When do we get the flying cars?

    Reply
  17. Alice in WV says

    January 24, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    Hey future person, has anyone cured cancer yet? Alzheimers? Are the Rolling Stones still touring?

    Hey bikerchick – here’s an app for when you go to Paris: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/keys-to-the-fleas/id380432477?mt=8

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      January 24, 2011 at 4:26 pm

      LOL @ “Are the Rolling Stones still touring!” I have a feeling they will!

      Of coure, in 50 years, the ticket pices will be about $4,750.00 and that’s just for the nosebleed territory seats!

      Reply
    • bikerchick says

      January 25, 2011 at 11:56 am

      Alice: Thanks bunches!! That is cool as hell!!!

      Reply
  18. icecycle66 says

    January 24, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    I hate waiting for emails. More often than not I initiate the communication with the person to extend a helping hand and they take for fucking ever to reply. Do you have any idea how hard it is to give a person money? I know most of you will say, “Just give it to me, I’ll take it.” But that’s bullshit. I know, I’ve tried. People get very hesitant and worried when somebody tries to give them cash, so what do they do, they sit on emails forever.

    I’ve even tried to hire people to do stuff, like album artwork, to no avail. I’m a struggling artist, they’re a struggling artist, you’d figure it would be match made in heaven. I usually offer money and they always bail out right when time to make an agreement comes around. What a bunch of asshats.

    I like the “I am terrified.” header. It’s exactly how I feel anytime I start trying to push my music and essays.

    Questions for “Fifty-years-into-the-future-man”

    What are the next jackpot lotto numbers that no one else will choose so that I can get the jackpot?
    How much money will the jackpot be required to be for me to accomplish the responses of my next questions, that’s the jackpot I want to hit? (Don’t worry future guy, I’ll give you a cut)

    What country should I move to right now?
    Where in that country?
    What will be necessary for awesome survival?

    Reply
  19. CADude says

    January 24, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Re: questions for Future Dude:

    Any information that could be used to better mankind could effect the space/time continuum with which Doc Brown was justifiably concerned, and is to be avoided. So much for altruism…

    And I’m not sure I’d want to know what is going to happen purely for informational purposes. Kinda takes the fun out of this whole living thing.

    So…given the conventional wisdom that money is the root of all pleasure (I’m not sure how “evil” got top billing in the saying, but I think that’s just wrong), I’d use my questions to Future Dude to increase my financial holdings. In order to live in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed, I’d have to double my current holdings about 16 times (I raised and supported 2 kids, and am still raising and supporting a wife. I’m not starting with a whole lot), so I’d need information about various occurrences over a period of several years (the sooner the better, obviously. I ain’t gettin’ any younger). The first few doublings could be the result of bets on sporting events, but at some point the amount of the next bet would be prohibitively great, so another avenue of doubling money would be needed. Shorting the stock market one way or the other would probably be the most efficient way–if a put or a call was a lock to pay off, the rewards could be quite great in a short amount of time. So I guess the identity of he next Apple, or the next Google, would be the most valuable to have, from a purely greed-based perspective.

    If it’s a Dudette, I’m with Queezy.

    Reply
  20. Buck says

    January 24, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    Am I the only one that nearly dropped a rectal plate upon reading a sentence that contained the phrase “not appropriate for the WVSR”. I honestly never thought that would happen

    Reply
    • Alice in WV says

      January 24, 2011 at 7:00 pm

      that made me pause, too. will the new site be too smart for us? too sophisticated (pinky held in the air as he types it)? no cursing allowed?

      Reply
  21. Alex says

    January 24, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    New site looks good. Header is decent.
    But yeah, wtf with the Rio Jesus statue rip off?

    Reply
    • Alice in WV says

      January 24, 2011 at 7:02 pm

      Rio Jesus — or Michael Jackson.

      Reply
    • chill says

      January 24, 2011 at 7:47 pm

      Blame it on Rio Jesus.
      .

      Reply
  22. Ed says

    January 24, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    I’m definitely gonna check out the new site every day. The stuff about the book, and writing in general, is some of my favorite material on this site.

    I do thnk the header that is 3rd down is the best of the five, overall.

    Reply
    • Gretchen says

      January 25, 2011 at 10:17 am

      I also think the third header down is the best.

      For Future Man: Where are my box scores??!!

      Reply
  23. dto says

    January 25, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Question to the 50 future preson…Is my book still selling?

    I visit a few writers web sites. I like that you sound like you’re taking a nuts and bolts approach. I got a great (I think and so do three other people) 58,000 words sitting here because I’m afarid to plunge to the finish. Afraid I’ll fuck it up. I have three or four endings but that’s cheap and was only cool in the movie, “Clue”.
    I’ve got one stuck at 13,000 words. No block. Know where I want it to go but again…afarid I’ll fuck it up. Short stories, memes seem to work for me…dunno? Catch ya over there.

    …and yeah TheQueezyMark…we need to know if things have changed. Is there still a good old fashoined shagging? A fun fuck? A grudge fuck? A so…wudya wanna do…fuck? We need to get the next generation prepared. THINK ABOUT THE CHILDERN.

    Reply
  24. squawvalleyskip says

    January 25, 2011 at 12:58 am

    For the Future Guy, not sure how almost 50 year old stock market tips would pan out unless he was a student of history. Because I’m pretty sure I won’t be around at 105 to cash in on his idea of current events. On the prolapsed anus bosses, let me remind you I work for the post office. Where anyone in “management” can be promoted into any position, no matter how unqualified. And no one wants to promote anyone smarter than themselves, for fear of losing there job to the last person they promoted. And a large number of the aforementioned promoted, being put in positions for which they are uniquely unqualified, don’t understand the first rule of taking over a new department/crew. The first guys to run to you, kiss your ass and tell you everything they can do for you are never the guys that will actually do anything productive. because all the productive guys are too busy being productive to run to you and kiss your ass.

    Reply
  25. Jim says

    January 25, 2011 at 6:28 am

    The shot is a little blurry, but I think the guy in the bunkercam picture is wearing a WVSR shirt. I think it should be added to the collection.

    Reply
  26. Skully says

    January 25, 2011 at 8:41 am

    The new site is going to kick ass!
    Future person, were there any penny stocks that went to a hundred bucks per share in 2011; which one(s)?

    Reply
  27. icecycle66 says

    January 25, 2011 at 11:19 am

    I feel like helping, does anyone need help? FIrst come first serve.

    Reply
    • icecycle66 says

      January 25, 2011 at 11:25 am

      Action at my discretion.

      Reply
  28. johnthebasket says

    January 25, 2011 at 11:39 am

    I suspect the clock in the pic above is a fibonacci clock. I thought I invented same; perhaps someone got there first.

    jtb

    Reply
    • Tyrosine says

      January 25, 2011 at 1:16 pm

      Yes and no. Here is a Fibonacci clock:

      http://www.cafepress.ca/+fibonacci_wall_clock,17933008

      However, since the clock above does resemble a shell, it does appear to have the geometric progression of a Fibonacci sequence:

      http://www.maths.surrey.ac.uk/hosted-sites/R.Knott/Fibonacci/fibnat.html#spirala

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        January 25, 2011 at 1:56 pm

        The clock from cafepress is a Fibonacci digital/analog clock. What I had in mind was a Fibonacci analog/analog clock.

        Since the human perception of the passage of time roughly (or maybe exactly) progresses in a Fibonacci sequence throughout life, the cafepress version doesn’t convey any more information than a standard clock. The analog/analog version shows that, to a young person, time passes very slowly, to a middle-aged person time passes quite quickly, and to an older person time hurries on. And the leaves that are green turn to brown.

        I can’t prove my assertion. but there is ample anecdotal evidence that such a relationship might exist.

        jtb

        Reply
  29. fryguy says

    January 25, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    wtf? do none of the designers understand what a crossroad is? am I missing something?

    The Classic video is disgusting… things you can’t unsee

    As for the question for the man from the future it would have to be something that would allow me to make money and lots of it… maybe I would want to know if I died enjoying hookers and cocaine or if I was shot by a jealous husband like my friends predict.

    Reply
  30. CardMagik says

    January 25, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    For the folks looking for the lottery numbers from future guy, you’d have to make sure you get the numbers for one winner, because if there were no winners, you can’t be the winner. Due to the pair-a-docs of course. (probably Dr Emmett Brown is one of em).

    Reply

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