Before we get started on this dubious exercise, I want to alert you to a fresh-baked episode of the Jeff Kay Show podcast, right here. This time ’round I discuss an eavesdropping session at a breakfast buffet, the Circle of Life at a McDonald’s drive-through, and my pain-in-the-ass Lenovo computer. Please check it out and give me your… gentle feedback. And if you missed the first one, here it is.
I have a dude who does a super-light touch production on the podcast. I told him, even before the first episode was recorded, that I wanted it to remain rough. I don’t want some shiny polish on it; it should be more Ramones than Steely Dan. But he has free reign to clean up any major issues and is doing a bang-up job as far as I can tell. However, he told me he’s going to be on vacation in a couple of weeks, so I’m going to have to send him two episodes next week. We’ll see how that goes. Already the rhythm is being interrupted. And I’m not sure how many ums one person can generate in a single week. But we’ll find out.
Yesterday I opened the drawer in our kitchen where we keep the aluminum foil ‘n’ shit. I was getting ready to “cook” some mini tacos for lunch and needed some foil. But I was surprised to find a pack of wieners in there. They were opened, and four remained. Nathan’s in case you were wondering. And somebody put them in the foil drawer. WTF? I asked Toney about it and she said the older boy grilled some hotdogs the night before, and must’ve done it. How? I sometimes catch myself almost putting a half-gallon of ice cream in the pantry, or whatever, but never go all the way with it and just walk away. Are you familiar with this phenomenon? If so, please tell us about it in the comments. I don’t know for sure, and might be slandering the boy, but there is a small chance… just a tiny chance… that alcohol might have played a part in this. I’m just spitballing.
We’re completely out of cell phone data, the whole family, and it doesn’t refresh until 6/16. Man, that really boils my cabbage. Additional gigs cost an enormous amount, on top of the regular enormous amount we pay monthly. We almost never run out, but the Myrtle Beach trip killed us, I think. Plus, I listen to the Reds at work sometimes, so that doesn’t help. Grrr… Any idea how much unlimited data costs through Verizon? I could look myself, but I’m disgracefully lazy. I might have to give that Paul a call, over at Sprint. He seems like good people.
On Saturday Toney and I did a Costco run, where the mini tacos were procured (fukkin yum), and there was some dude in the parking lot doing a breathalyzer test for a passel of not-amused cops. This was at 1 pm or thereabouts. In a Costco parking lot. Wotta douche. All my breathalyzers have taken place after dark. I’m very proud of that fact. Actually, that’s a joke of sorts. I don’t think I’ve ever actually taken a breathalyzer test. I have, however, on several occasions been forced to touch my nose and walk a line, etc. Always after dark, thank you very much. And no DUIs. In fact, the last time it happened I was on my way home from work — at my current job — and the guy was CONVINCED I was drunk. Or he wanted me to be, or something. He put me through a whole battery o’ tests and I was stone cold sober. Until I got home, of course. Anything to share on this subject? Use the comments.
And I need to wrap it up, boys and girls. I put a couple of Questions in there, but I’ll leave you with another one. In the comments, if you’re so inclined, please tell us how you met your significant other. Or your ex, or whatever. I met Toney at work, at WEA Atlanta. Dating people from work probably isn’t the best idea, but we’re coming up on our 25th wedding anniversary. So, sometimes it pans out. What about you? Tell us all about it, if you want.
And I’ll be back on Monday with some more of this quality material.
See ya then!
Now playing in the bunker
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Last winter when I was tossing a bag of trash from work in the dumpster I ended up tossing a jacket also. I didn’t notice it the next day when I was looking for it. I was carrying it home to wash. At least it had nothing in the pockets.
Anyone ever sign up for Classmates or whatever it is called? I still get spam email from them 20 years after I first signed up.
Can’t say I actually feel bad for Classmates.com, but they were completely rendered moot by Facebook.
They still exist. I wonder who actually uses the service.
Twiddling with a pin while recording a podcast sounds like a good way to prick yourself.
Limey, it might be a slow news day, or maybe I’m just suffering from a bout of Ludditeism brought on by the fact that, as a guy who packs a John McCain commemorative flip-phone, I don’t know what “being out of data” means, but I just rearranged your sentence four ways, and all of them were dirty. Thankfully, I’m too old to engage in an excess of twiddling: hell, arteries have to go around corners, and you don’t want ’em washing up a red tide of plaque on your SAFER barriers, to use a NASCAR colloquialism.
. . . and I’ll just be damned if “Wieners In a Drawer” doesn’t sound like a Wes Craven drive-in horror movie.
Crying here… LOL!
Good one jtb actually great one.
Verizon’s unlimited data was always too much of a price bump, until this year, when they came out with two “unlimited” plans. Logically, it’s not possible for two different plans to both be unlimited, but Verizon now has “Go Unlimited”, which is unlimited (with limits), and then the REAL (expensive) unlimited. The Go Unlimited is the same price as my old plan, and I don’t mind the lack of a firehose-sized data stream.
Just before online dating was a thing. I met my wife through the local personals, where you’d call into a voicemail box, listen to her pre-recorded message, and then nervously leave a live reply for her. But it worked.
Things in the wrong place: more than once, I’ve cracked an egg into the sink and then put the shell in a bowl.
The wiener of choice these days is Zweigle’s White Hots. They taste like a more flavorful version of weisswurst, and are structured like a proper hot dog, like a Sabrett’s. Wegman’s has them. I keep them in the fridge, not a kitchen drawer. It just seems better that way.
I met my most recent SO through an introduction by mutual friends. Not a very interesting story, but it lasted many years. The relationship, not the story.
Using cellular data as one’s everyday internet seems like using Duracells as one’s everyday electricity: the most expensive possible way to purchase that thing. Not a sermon, just a thought.
Correct brand, wrong product! You want the Red Pop Opens.
I too keep them in the fridge, next to the dish soap.
Perhaps I misunderstand your comment, Chill, but do you think we use cell phone data as our primary internet source? That’s not the case. We pay Comcast another enormous amount for internet service. On our trip to MB, we just used Google Maps a lot for navigation, and the WiFi at the hotel sucked. So, we burned up the data this month. And I’ve gotten into the habit of listening to Reds games at work, where the WiFi also sucks. That’s all.
No, Jeff, I totally misunderstood what you were saying, and I apologize.
The carriers do indeed charge outrageous amounts for going over the arbitrary limit. But it seems like you’d still come out ahead with keeping a modest data plan, with the occasional “anal rape with a fire extinguisher,” versus paying hundreds per month for some huge amount of data which will almost never be needed.
Phil Jett says
We have 6 gig of data on Verizon with 5 phones and have never used over 3 gig. The rule is Wifi only if you are playing games or watching shit on your phone. We also get by with cheap samsung phones, presently 4 of us use the J3v which originally cost $100 but was either free with promotions or $50. They do pretty much everything the $800 S8 version my artsy daughter had to have.
Met my wife when I was home on leave in the Navy. She was on a date with my best friend at the time at his weekly work related beer softball game that he dragged me to that night. We all went to the bar that sponsored his team after and me and her just hit it off. She went on one more date with him and then we started writing letters to each other when I got back to Hawaii. 9 months later I was transfering to Florida for shore duty, flew her to California to meet me when I picked up my Jeep in Long Beach and we spent a week driving across the country site-seeing. Six months later we were engaged and have been married for 31 years.
My friend is still my friend and we vacation every year together with our families at the beach in North Carolina.
I was stationed at Long Beach.
that is a goddamned great story!!!!
Phil Jett says
Thanks AWG. That first week on the road from Long Beach to Saratoga Springs made it easy to know we were compatible.
I used to work for Sprint (before I made a welcome and rewarding career change) and have a sort of ex-employee plan that’s just about unlimited everything for a really good price.
My wife and I met on eHarmony. 13 years of marriage and 3 kids later here we are. A major newspaper once did a feature on us and how we met. We have a framed copy of the article still.
As for eHarmony, i highly recommend it to those who are in the market. Not only did it work for me and my wife, it also worked for my brother and his wife, our cousin and his wife, my wife’s cousin and her husband, my wife’s friend and his wife, and two of my brothers buddies and their wives. All still married and, as far as I know, happy.
Speaking of marriage, I learned today that someone I work for was caught making out in her office with a man who is not her husband. She met her husband (with whom I also used to work) and her paramour at work.
I find the whole thing disturbing (I’m not a cheater and my exposure to cheating spouses had always been ex post facto). I’m pretty relaxed usually about anything two consenting adults choose to do in private, but this case has really shown me that I have a solid moral boundary in this regard. I find the situation upsetting.
Never had a drunk test, but working in the Emergency Department we frequently have the police bring in people who are beyond hammered in he midmorning or afternoon. One guy recently parked his car in the left turn lane on a four lane road and took a nap. I routinely see blood alcohol levels of .240 to .380 on folks who are walking and taking without a hint of intoxication. There are some stealth major leaguers out there.
Very cool. Met my wife on match.com back in ’04 (after both of us had been divorced from our POS cheating ex’s for a few years)…. married for 12 years now. Nice to hear success stories from dating websites.
Yep. Dr. Warren rocks. Met my wife 11 years ago on eHarmony. So far so good.
Not Oprah says
RIP Anthony 🙁 . Rarely does the death of a celebrity phase me but this makes me very sad.
Me too. What a loss.
Surreal Killer says
The story about how I met my significant other makes me sound way cooler than I actually am, but here goes: I met my wife while I was sitting in on drums for a band that had a gig in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn. I invited a friend from college that lived in the neighborhood to meet me down there. He brought my future wife with him, as she also lived in the neighborhood. The rest is history, and we have been married for 18 years now.
“More Ramones than Steely Dan”. You’re a goddamn genius. First wife….met at work…divorced after 15 years. Second wife…22 years…divorce still pending. Future third wife…met at work…we know where this shit is going.
Set the Wayback Machine to 1999. I started a 6-month subscription on Match.com. I dated a couple of men but nothing long term. So I re-upped. My future husband was strongly encouraged by his friend to sign up. He came across my profile along with some others however I was the only one to reply. One or two months of fun emailing, one month of hilarious phone conversations, and then a fantastic first date. We’re coming up on 19 years together and 17 years married. Love is grand.
Wow, I cannot believe how many people were able to meet and marry via eHarmony and match.com! I thought that was all advertising hype. Learn something new every day. Against ALL odds I met my wife in a bar. I was there with a friend and my eventual wife was down from upstate visiting a friend, who my friend happened to know because she worked at the 7-11 in town. So they came over and sat by us, he talked to the friend and my wife and I just happened to hit it off. Been married 20 years now and couldn’t be happier. Of course it helps that it’s both of our 2nd go-’round. It’s always easier when you get all those mistakes out of the way when your young and you can actually have some idea of what it is you’re looking for.
And Jeff, I’d have some serious money to put down on the alcohol involvement in the wiener fiasco. Just speaking from experience…
I am happy for all the people who are happy, but this is a pretty clear case of selection bias. I personally know a half dozen younger couples who met on info dating sites, and they form a pretty good standard deviation line from time to Timbuktu — from misery to company. Long term intimacy consists of considerably more than mutual interests, shared perceptions, and joint biases, and the relationships that “work” are more likely based on common experiences in the first six years of life than in the most recent six years. Clinging to a common life raft is one way to share, but there are others.
Having said that, if you are happy in a life that is, by nature, short and brutal, you have beaten the odds. Live and be well.
Not Oprah says
Divorced now almost 20 years. Sad sack of potatoes here. Wish I cared more… I don’t have cats and just keep moving.