The four of us went to lunch yesterday, at Moe’s, and while I was backing out of my parking space, preparing to leave, a minivan ran into the side of my Camry. An older woman was driving it, and had been parked in a space across from us. I pulled all the way out, was putting my car into DRIVE, and she came straight back and: crunch.
It sounded horrible, and I feared the worst. I’d just spent several hours on Saturday washing the car, inside and out, and it was as close to perfect as it’ll ever get. And now the rear quarter-panel probably looked like a giant pork rind!
But, to my surprise, there was almost no damage. There are a few scuff marks, but I think I’ll be able to buff those out. There’s no dent whatsoever, despite the crunchiness of the sound. Weird. Is my car made of Tupperware, or something? How could there be no dent?
The woman was upset, and apologetic, and I decided to just let it go. Both vehicles were only scuffed a little, so why make a federal case out of it? My brain chemicals were mixing in a way that I asked that very question; on another day I might’ve completely lost it, and began shouting and waving my hands around, and whatnot.
So, it was no big deal. We didn’t even exchange phone numbers, and insurance cards were never produced. And I’m coo’ with that.
What happened the last time you experienced vehicular metal to metal? Did it have a satisfactory ending? I’ve been incredibly lucky (actually, I think I should receive some of the credit), but so far I’ve had few such problems. I hesitate to brag, because I might jinx myself, but I don’t go around crashing cars, thank you very much.
Anyway, what happened the last time you had a fender-bender, or worse? Tell us about it, won’t you?
Also, do you take anything (other than prescription meds) to promote general health? You know, like vitamins, or herbal supplements, or things like that?
A few years ago I went to a doctor for a physical (Dr. Dot), and she asked me to unbuckle my pants, pull my shirt up, and lie back on a table. I was thinking: is this going to be one of these “happy endings” situations? But, thankfully, she just pushed and prodded on my great belly for a while.
Then she took my blood pressure and looked in my ears, and all that stuff. I’d also gone for blood work a couple of weeks before. And after careful consideration of the data collected, she told me to ingest the following on a daily basis, and I should be healthy for a while:
- baby aspirin
- multivitamin
- one banana
I followed her advice for a while, but, like with so many things, it was eventually abandoned. I still take a multivitamin when I think about it, but almost never have a nanner or a baby aspirin. Maybe I should get back on the Dot regimen?
Do you take anything like that? If so, tell us about it in the comments. You know, if you wanna. Also, do you think it helps? Can you tell a difference?
And finally, I’d like to alert you to an obituary that Buck sent in. Right here. As you can see, visitation was timed so as not to “conflict with the West Virginia University Mountaineers game.”
Any opinions on this? Please be respectful of the deceased, this isn’t really about her. And 58 is way too young… But what do you think about her family timing the wake so people wouldn’t be asked to miss the kickoff of a football game? Heh.
And that’s gonna do it for today, boys and girls. If you haven’t voiced your opinion yet about the new REPLY feature in the comments, please do so here.
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a fantastic day.
I feel absurd
I think it’s prety cool they scheduled around the football game.
My last fender bender… A lady ran a stop light, hit me on the passenger side, and flipped my truck on its lid. Not a scratch on me. The bad thing… Only 4 payments left on it.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
One bad accident back in 1993. Hospitalized 6 days in ICU, busted up face, (see yesterday’s comments about the tooth loss), plastic surgery on face(about 150 stitches inside and out), head trauma, busted knee cap.
Yeah, I got pretty fucked up.
The only accident that was my fault I drove into a house. Got a ticket for that one and my insurance went way up. About 5k in damages but the woman who lived there was more upset about the little pine tree I mowed down on my way through the yard.
I haven’t been involved in an accident in many years. But, the way people around here run red lights it’s only a matter of time. In fact I came close to getting t-boned a couple weeks ago when some jack-leg in a pickup truck screamed through a red light at about 40 mph. I was half way through the intersection when I saw him coming. I threw out the anchor on the mighty Chrysler and he passed across my bow. He never even saw me.
Heh. I said ‘boned’.
You said boned. Heh.
Last fender bender happened when I wasn’t even in the car. It wasn’t until I was driving back home 120 miles that I discovered a note tucked under my wiper. A witness had written down the license number of the offending vehicle.
Last fender bender. A guy parked next to me at the grocery store on a very windy day. When he opened the door the wind jerked it out of his hand and crushed the fender on my F150. He was nice enough to wait for me. We traded info and his insurance company cut me a check for $2,800.00.
I have multi-vitamins at home that I rarely take.
“crunch” may have been deformable foam/plastic elements below the bumper cover. They probably gave up their little lives for you.
i take multivitamins but only when i remember which is like 2/3 days. my doctor even told me i should be taking 3x the amount of calcium im taking but i havent been able to make myself swallow three pills as a daily routine…i dont like icky routines like that even if i know it would help.
The baby aspirin is good for your heart. The multi-vitamin is questionable. Food should contain all the nutrients you need. If your diet is mostly processed food then it’s a good idea. the nanner is good for potassium but it does get old eating one every day.
Much vitamins every day. What I do with the banana is none of you business.
My last accident was very similar to yours, Jeff. About a year ago a coworker & I were leaving a restaurant we had lunch at & as I was backing out (I was already WAY out, not just starting), some young chick decided it was her turn & promptly hit the back side of my car. I immediately got out & watched as she giggled with her twat friend then sped off. We got her plates & my coworker noticed a cop car sitting in the parking lot, facing our way with the cop right inside! I walked over, he looked agitated but did say he saw what happened. (Notice he wasn’t going after her). I asked what to do since I had a sizeable dent and scratches & she TOOK OFF & he sighed & said, “well, really you both hit each other” & proceeded to do nothing.
I went back to work, called the local PD, gave the guy’s name & talked to his superior who apologized & told me that the cop shouldn’t have been in that area, as he was supposed to be on the other side of town that day. That was probably why he didn’t want to write a report, because it would’ve busted him.
Now I still have a dent in my car, nothing ever came of me giving over her plates & I ain’t payin’ for it.
As for vitamins, I don’t take anything, which is probably why I am home sick today. Heh!
Wow.
“Officer, are you telling me that ‘hit and run’ is not a crime here? Or are you saying that you’ve witnessed a crime but don’t care to do anything about it?”
This kind of thing pisses me off. Giggling Chick and Twat Friend need to face some consequences, and from their behavior it doesn’t seem like Daddy’s Wrath is likely to happen. Goddamn kids, get off my lawn!
.
Never hit anything with my vehicle except my brother, and his stupid ass should have gotten out of the way. I take a vitamin every now and then, but don’t think it makes a difference. People schedule weddings around football why not funerals. Shes dead whats it matter to her?
I had a Miata that was wrecked 4 times and I was only actually IN the car once.
1. Valet had to back the car up 8 feet. He didn’t close the driver’s door completely, put it in reverse, hit the gas, the door flew open and wiped out the side of a 911 Turbo. I drove my date home with the door tied in the trunk.
2. Mom backed out of her garage, forgot I was parked there and “scratched” the car. New nose, hood, door, quarter panel and rear bumper
3. Miata parked between two full sized trucks. Distracted woman in Suburban thought she saw an open spot and pulled in about 30mph. Pushed my Miata into a brick wall. EVERY exterior panel needed replacement.
Good thing it was leased.
No comment on your accident?
Sounds like a hit and run incident to me. 😉
I have only been in one wreck up to this point. It did not end satisfactorily. It happened in that $1 truck I mentioned before. Some old codger was parker in the street, like in the damn right hand lane not the parking area, so I couldn’t see around him. I waited until the light for oncoming traffic was red and until the car flow stopped. Then I pulled out and was promptly hit by some Trust Fund Baby in an Escalade, or some such bullshit. So it was my fault for pulling out in front of the guy, but it should have been Trust Fund Baby’s fault because he had a can of beer on his breath, and it was really the old codgers fault for being a damn fool (he quickly sped away after the collision between me and Richie Rich). So I ended up having to pay $300 and my insurance paid about another $700 to what amounted to cutting of ¼ of my front bumper. My truck had a snaggle tooth until I got a new one 5 years later.
Your $1 truck is jinxed. but I like that. 🙂
Last crunch I was in a Hummer hit my little Ford Escort ZX2–my car had $2500 in damage and she tried to say her hummer had $500–she lost of course–no damage whatsoever
I take chondroitin/glucosamin and fish oil but haven’t really noticed any difference…
I fill a shotglass with non-stick cooking spray and gulp it down every morning. Every night I eat 1/4 cup of cane sugar before bed. I take vitamin D and a B complex daily.
Last fender bender I had was my fault. I came around the corner to go home and I smashed into the back of my neighbor’s Mustang while he was pulling out of his driveway. I just gave him the cash rather than go through my insurance.
I don’t think college football should be involved in funerals in any way. I went to one recently where the family had paid a florist to make a giant red “A” (University of Alabama) out of flowers to sit above his casket during the funeral. He didn’t attend the University of Alabama, but he was apparently a fan. Absurd.
I had attended this same man’s wedding years before. It was in their back yard and the song that was sung as they stood at the alter was, “One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus”. I thought that was an odd choice.
Sometimes I pop a B-12 if I’m feeling run-down. It may be a placebo, but it seems to help.
My old landlord, Big Dick, backed his antique junked up truck into a rental van I had just brought home. Before he backed down the driveway I said, “watch out for that rental van.” He never listens to anybody. American Express handled the whole thing for me and they were awesome, like a team of telephone assassins.
If the deceased was a fan then it is cool they scheduled around the game, If she wasn’t then I’d say that is not too cool.
Thanks for asking,
I take a Flintstones vitamin and a glucosamine supplement. I have a banana everyday as part of lunch to keep my wife from bitching that I never eat fruit. Isn’t that what gay guys are for, to eat fruit? Or do they just savor it?
I can’t tell a health difference, but I am afraid as shit circling the drain that I’ll get arthritis in the hands and not be able to play bass anymore. I take the vitamins because I don’t eat fruit or vegetables very much, so I feel like I should get the nutrition of life from somewhere other than my daily Reese’s Puffs cereal intake. I can’t tell a difference in the vitamins either. It’s all a big scam.
About herbs, I used to make my own kava kava a lot. There was once a time where I probably drank a quart of kava tea a day for about 6 months.
kava kava is the shit. Now it’s hard to get because it supposedly distroys your liver or somesuch. My reply is, “So?”
ASPIRIN KEEPS YOUR BLOOD THIN, AND VITAMIN E KEEPS YOU ARERIES FELXIBLE AND HEALTHY. TWO THINGS TO AVOID A MASSIVE HA . AND LIVE TO SEE YOUR KIDS GROW.
What do you do for hearing loss?
I JUST HAD SOME CHEETOS AND 6% OF MY NEEDED VITAMIN E!
Good one Chuck.
Chuck: LMAO!!
That’s not surprising, as almost everyone goes nuts for football around here. I don’t care for it myself. For me, it just means a lot of noise and destruction. Where I live the mailboxes were torn apart during the night of the first game, and then someone burned some mattresses around here last weekend.
My husband takes a couple of fistfuls of vitamins and supplements everyday. He looks and feels fantastic. (he’s 62 and I’m 48- he’s going to outlive me!) I have to get back on track. They make a difference.
I htink my last accident had to do with blinding sun glare and the lady in front of me who stopped to let a goose cross the raod. I never saw her brake lights. She had some huge tank of a pickup that didn’t have a scratch on it – not even a busrted tailpipe – but the wench had to exchange insurance info. She looked like th type who may have gotten backhanded by her old man if she didn’t. She kept shaking as if I just crushed her Ferrari or soemthing.
Sorry for the typos. I split my finger open over the weekend. At least I was opening a bottle of wine at the time.
Oh and as for the deceased and football, she may have been very active and they were going to honor her at the game.
Never had a wreck that was my fault.
I take a multivitamin daily. Not because I’m a health nut but because I don’t eat very nutritiously. I hate fruit. Wish I didn’t but I do.
Nothing wrong with scheduling a funeral around a Mountaineer game. If I’m an acquaintance of the deceased and I have to choose between watching WVU play or going to a funeral, I’m watching WVU play.
My wife scheduled our wedding on a Saturday evening when WVU was playing away and at noon. We tailgated in the hotel parking lot and the game ended right when it was time to start getting ready for the wedding.
My sis-in-law is getting married in a few weeks and was smart enough to schedule it on a WVU bye week. People take their football seriously around here.
Chuck that was just TOO FUCKING FUNNY. I’ve got my window open at home and my neighbor wanted to know what the joke was… Thanks Chuck – that was awesome
I should be ashamed of myself for being a sarcastic bastard…but I’m not.
No, you made a good call. The last thing I come here for is the scary truth. Jeesh.
I take a vitamin D every morning as it was touted as the latest wonder drug recently. And vitamin C because they’re chewable and they taste like Sweet Tarts candy.
I eat a fair bit of fruit and whole grains but too much slaughtered meat. Bloody, juicy, delicious slaughtered flesh from a formerly living animal….. (drool)…
I read some bothersome news about Glucosamine having more of a placebo effect than an actual pain reduction effect (crap, did I just blow it for some of you?). I don’t take it as I already am on 8 prescriptions now (diabesity, hypertension, cholesterol – the trifecta of being undertall; and one little pill that keeps me from wanting to go up to the clock tower to polish my guns).
Up here, sports at all levels doesn’t have that kind of a hold on people and certainly not enough that weddings and funerals are scheduled around it. Although, at one of my sister-in-laws wedding, the guys made quite a few trips to the bar where the hockey game was on – I think it was the finals…But for a funeral? I just don’t see that as being respectful but that’s just me.
Chuck – I keep telling people… repeat after me…. I apologize for nothing.
I’m still laughing
🙂
My daily supplement regimen………Multivitamin, fish oil, low dose aspirin, Niacin, Red Yeast Rice, vitamin D and magnesium. I also eat 2 bananas every day. Must be working. I am 47, in what I consider, pretty good shape and can bench over 400 pounds.
I can put 400 pounds on a bench too, who gives a shit.
but can you lift a 250 pound man off you, while surrounded by fire and screaming, after a helicopter crash? That would be neat.
Damn, icecycle! Who took a dump in your corn flakes? Let’s just say that I served my country very well and leave it at that. What I expericenced would probably make you soil your diaper.
I’m not a cruel person by nature. I try to (but don’t always) catch myself before I make fun of a specific individual. There may be some issues here with her and it’s probably cruel to offer this up but no one forced her to make this and post it… I got through about 2 lines of lyrics before i stopped it. It’s like..like….shit I don’t know what it’s like….
http://www.beachcreeps.com/sweet-home-alabama/#comments
I feel kinda sorry for her lol. Pretty weird!!!!!
All of the sterotypical elements are in place – lynerd Skynerd song, Richard Petty portrait, Waffle House teeth, etc., etc., and yet it’s undoubtedly real. What a find.
I eat three severed heads from tree squirrels every day so that I can stay in the kind of shape that I need to be in to enjoy my hobby: Extreme ironing.
I expect that all vitamins and whatnot are BS. No shit I have seen a child go an entire year eating only Aunt Jamima pancake syrup, fried chicken legs, and diet dr. pepper. He turned out fine. And there is no way he got all the vitamins and minerals the medical and pharmaceutical establishment says he “needed” from that crap. It’s all bullshit. I just figure that at least it can’t hurt too bad.
Jerry and Icy – I weigh 235 and have a female friend who’s 53 and weighs about 105 lbs. She used to be a body builder and is now a weight lifter. She could bench press my weight no issue but I might struggle to lift her’s. 🙂
Chuck: I’m still laughing just thinking about it.
I get a hair up my ass every now and then and start taking vits, eating healthy and working out. Then in about 3 weeks I say “fukkit” and start my old habits again. I seriously need to stay on track though. Need much motivation….as if looking at my fat ass in the mirror isn’t enough.
Every time I think I’ve lost weight I seem to look in the mirror at my ass and find it again.
I think that the only thing multivitamins are good for is making your piss nuclear yellow. I took them for a while, but I think that any positive effect they might have had on me was immediately negated by the bad shit that I put into my system.
The last accident I was in was when some friends and I were off roading, at night, half drunk so that one doesn’t count. My friend was driving and took an old Bronco II woods buggy down a hill that was a little steeper than we thought. One broken windshield on a $200 4×4 beater was the only casualty.
Personally I think it’s kind of shitty that they scheduled it around the game…pretty disrespectful actually. There will be other kick offs, that lady will be gone forever. I would be upset if that was my family planning my funeral around a football game. On the other hand, if the lady was a big football fan, maybe she would have laughed about it. I guess it just depends really.
Anyway, I take Flinstone gummies once in awhile, I didn’t really notice anything different.
I also got into an accident once in an ex’s car. I was driving it home in the wee hours of the windy, rainy, dark as sin morning on some back roads, and upon reaching for a cd that fell on the floor, I hit a massive pothole and veered off the road. I would have been fine had there not been an irrigation drain in this particular part of the ditch (or a metal pipe that they insert through a ditch) sticking out. The front right tire caught the pipe and flipped the car back over front into some old guys yard. Of course he was awake, and slowly walked over to inspect what was going on. I climbed out the crushed passenger window and called the police. The kicker? After all said and done, the old guy demanded that I come over and ‘patch up’ the areas where the tires had dug through the grass (in the ditch), not even in his yard. So I had to shamefully go over there one day and lay grass seed and what not. Pretty humiliating. My ex’s parents were very religious and always hating on me for anything they could think of…so after this happened they just assumed I was the Debil. They were assholes. Good riddance.
Airborne is good for when you’re getting sick. I recommend it. Turns your pee neon yellow.
I just realized I said that I would be upset if my family was planning my funeral around a football game, which didn’t make sense…Ah screw it…you know what I meant.
Atkins worked very well for me. I lost 14 pounds in under 2 weeks and 30 altogether. But Sara Lee is a little whore and its all back now and a touch more.
People are starting to yell ‘Hey, just one man to a pair of pants’, so I think it’s that time again. MMMMM…pork and cheese in mass quantities.
But no beer, always my downfall, well that and chips, bread, sketty, mashed taters, hash browns…you know what I mean.
Mmm…cheese. (Homer drool)
hashbrowns!!
I feel dirty and unworthy after I use the reply feature. Like I am cheating on my own morals.
So do I.
I think I’ll write into my will that if I die during football season, the funeral home needs to keep me on ice till a Wednesday. I’d hate for my BiL to miss my wake.
I take Ala and turmeric daily. turmeric is supposed to be cancer’s nemesis or some shit, so what the hell!! I also try to eat Rye bread and sneak a grapefruit in here and there. I might not be skinny yet, but I am in my old before baby jeans. just a little more junk in the trunk. but guys like that, right???
Yes, to a point. If your ass looks like 2 sacks of cats on the way to the river its time to do some lunges. Or something.
nope. not that much junk. 😉 thanks for the reference though I had to go check. I think I look fair to middlin for having 3 boys in 5 years 🙂
By the way Casey J (rhymes),
You said you take Ala and turmeric daily. What is Ala?
We love it. More than you girls seem to know.
I know its not funny she passed but it is funny they scheduled her showing around the game. But that’s what going to happen to Bill. It’s actually done more than we know just not advertised!
My drug list…. to long to type!
Last 3 car wrecks not my fault, but I do remember demolishing that 197 Mustang with a 302 Boss engine when I was in high school. Remember that car Jeff? I sure wish I had it back!
Time to go make supper, or as most people call it, dinner. Pork and cheesy hash browns perhaps???
After two years this shit still fucks me up.
http://candyandcrap.blogspot.com/2008/06/swisslion-takovo-choco-banana-tribal.html
A few years ago I was turning right on a green arrow when a woman (not “lady”) appeared from nowhere and hit me. After we stopped she shouted “I had a green light!”. It turns out she was making a U-turn – which IS legal here – but she decided it would be a good idea to take all the lanes in the process. I had to go find the cops, and they refused to do anything. My insurance wrote me a check for $8.00 after the deductible; I never cashed it.
Supplements? Nothing beyond the daily 81mg aspirin that Dr. Johnson told me to take. I said “johnson”.
I truly despise the taste of bananas, and will not eat them.
.
just this last May 10th, I was sitting at a red light and noticed a blue toyota tundra stopped behind me.. then all of sudden, WHAM! he pounded me in the rear (and not in a good way!).. He got out of his car and started yammering about how his dog jumped on his leg and he hit the gas.. needless to say, my car was not safe to drive due to the trunk being smashed like an accordian (i drive a rollerskate) and I ended up going to the ER and than chiropractic treatment for 3 months. I got a lawyer after I could not get a response from the guys insurance.. should be hearing about a settlement anytime now.. fucker
Is there ever a “good way” to get pounded in the rear???
You bet there is a good way!!
Damn straight there’s a good way! hahaha
Yes. Schedule funerals and weddings around Mountaineer games. If I die during football season and someone has my wake or funeral during a game, I will come back and haunt their ass. My wife’s grandfather passed away a few years ago and the obituary discussed the recent departure of a coach as part of the reason. In a joking way of course. But funny as shit. He would have loved it. And, Country Roads was the last song sung (?) for his departure.
Last wreck I was in I purposely rear ended my friend at a stoplight. We both had shitty cars and a buzz. He laughed and put his car in reverse and hit me back. Everyone else at the stoplight laughed their ass off. I still chuckle.
The “reply” feature is the work of Beelzebub and the Order of the Fly, and I think the Knights Templar have something to do with it. However…
Chuck and WB have managed to turn “reply” into an art form. The feature has somehow transformed them into Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show. Twice today they gave a comment the old Ohio one-two and left a wounded but hilarious Reporter in the ditch somewhere outside Sandusky.
I can’t use the feature because my mother told me never to talk back, but if WB and Chuck want to take their act on The Golden Road (To Unlimited Devotion), I change my vote. Their ages might add up to three or more digits, but their minds are sharp and snappy.
jtb