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A Few Random Things, and the Bad Habits We’ve Successfully Broken

January 10, 2014 By Jeff 39 Comments

bad habitsOK, I have about an hour before I have to leave for work. Let’s see what we can do here. Sweet sainted mother of Buster Bloodvessel!

The older boy is home sick today. Says he has the flu. Needless to say, I’m skeptical. I’m always skeptical when people tell me they have the flu. It’s become a catch-all diagnosis for every sniffle and sore throat.

Years ago, when I lived in Atlanta, I had the actual flu, and thought I was going to die. It was sustained misery for nearly two weeks. I didn’t go to work, didn’t eat, barely slept, and every trip to the bathroom was like climbing Mount Everest. I was living alone, and finally called my parents and asked them for help. I didn’t know if I was going to survive, literally; it just kept going and going and going.

And for the record: my folks didn’t come, for some reason. Yes, it’s important to have a strong support network. By the end I looked like Alice Cooper, and lost about twenty pounds. I was so weak blinking was starting to take its toll.

So, when people wipe their nose with a Wendy’s napkin, or stifle a cough or two, and say they’re coming down with flu, it annoys me. They can take their fake flu and ram it deep, and on a slant.

Of course, if it turns out he REALLY does have the flu… I guess I’ll be the asshole. Again. Oh well, it’s something I’ve learned to live with.

Last week at work I told ’em I was going to take both Saturday and Sunday off this week. They’re supposed to be my normal off-days, but I’ve worked the last two Saturdays, and if I’m not careful… it’ll become expected. I need some downtime. I’m burnt to a goddamn crisp.

Yeah, everything was fine until Saturday got a little closer. Now I’m getting some mild passive/aggressive pressure to work again. But, unless mild turns into something more overt, I’m not doing it. I’m working my regular, already-ridiculous schedule. Because I am a hero.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get to experience that great feeling when I wake up, growl “fuuuuuck,” and realize I’m actually free for a couple of days. Man, is there a better feeling in this world? I don’t get to experience it very often these days, but that only heightens the pleasure when it does happen.

And since we’re on the subject… Please don’t tell me how crazy-busy you are, and proceed to talk about the ten TV shows you watch religiously. I don’t even know what a TV show looks like at this point. Is Melrose Place still the hot thing?

On a more positive note, I think I’ve finally trained myself to stop using two spaces after a period. Thank you… thank you very much. It was something that was drilled into my head during typing class in high school, back when you still had to hand-crank cars.

However, it’s out of fashion now. I’ve been trying to kick the habit, but it’s hard-wired in my brain. And there’s a crazy muscle-memory that kicks in. It’s been tough, my friends, but I think I’ve finally done it. Only rarely do I backslide at this point. I believe I’ve successfully beaten back an ancient disposition, which ain’t easy.

Have you ever broken any long-term habits? I’m not very good with it. I have plenty of things I’d like to change (God knows), and sometimes make an effort. But it almost always ends in failure. What deep-seated habits have you successfully killed-off during your life? Big ones, or small ones — like my single-space victory. Use the comments link below to tell us about it.

And I’m going back to work, boys and girls.

Have yourselves a fantastic day.

Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!

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Comments

  1. LInda says

    January 10, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    I’m also trying to break the habit of two spaces after a period. My daughter told me five years ago that it was out of style, and I yelled my head off at her, but I realize it’s true. Especially now that Jeff said it.

    I also had the experience of having the flu (25 years ago) and having to call my mother to come over and make me some soup. She only lived a block away, and she did it, but I later found out that she made fun of me with her friends. Ouch.

    Reply
  2. The Qweezy Mark says

    January 10, 2014 at 2:17 pm

    I’ve been getting more boners than usual lately. And farting more.

    Reply
    • Joe T. says

      January 11, 2014 at 11:31 am

      Are you still losing big bills in bars?

      Reply
  3. Jason says

    January 10, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    Who decided that we stop using two spaces? I’m not doing it. I stopped smoking cigarettes. I started back when you didn’t even have to be 18 to buy them. And now I’m cigarette free. I started using cocaine instead. And I’m a lot better off, I think.

    Reply
    • T. Farty McAppleass says

      January 10, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      Do you still put out even though you stopped smoking?

      Reply
      • Jason says

        January 10, 2014 at 2:28 pm

        Any woman that buys me two drinks is going to get lucky. That’s a reliable fact.

        Reply
        • lori from cbus says

          January 10, 2014 at 7:22 pm

          shit. let me get my purse

          Reply
          • Jason says

            January 10, 2014 at 7:46 pm

            !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
            You’re not even my Facebook friend.

            Reply
            • lori from cbus says

              January 11, 2014 at 9:32 am

              made you look! haha

              Reply
  4. t-storm says

    January 10, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    Not busy at all. Been unemployed for 3 weeks.

    TV shows walking dead modern family brooklyn 99 the middle maron but im through those episodes.

    Reply
  5. squawvalleyskip says

    January 10, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    The only habits I’ve ever broken are rampant drinking/drug abuse 25 years ago, and smoking cigarettes about 20 years ago. The first because I got kinda tired of going to jail, the second because the price kept going up. I was pissed when a pack of smokes went from 27 cents to 32 cents in the PX. So by the time they hit about $2.50 I was fed up, and just quit buying the damn things. Two spaces after a period, I don’t remember that from typing class, but then I don’t remember much at all about high school.

    Reply
  6. Ognir says

    January 10, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    I quit drinking pop over a year ago. I use to chug at least a 2 Liter a day. Now I drink water. That was real hard to get use to at first. I also cut out junk food. I have to say that apples are just not as tasty as say Tastykake brand Tasty Klair Pies.

    Reply
  7. Doug says

    January 10, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    I’m actually racking up more bad habits. Mind you, it’s not a goal or anything, just the price of not giving a rat’s ass.

    Reply
  8. Buzz in Wheeling says

    January 10, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    Quit smoking in 1980. [2 spaces]. [1 space]. Yeah, 1 space between sentences is enough. 2 spaces is a waste of space. Or spaces.

    Anyway, any habit is easy to let go of – WHEN YOU ARE READY.

    OK, when are you ready? Easy, you are ready when you hurt enough and when you are angry enough. Not angry at yourself – angry at the habit that owns you.

    Start thinking along those lines. Then get off your ass and get to work.

    Reply
    • Clueless says

      January 10, 2014 at 7:09 pm

      I concur; quit smoking 40 years ago this month because I decided I was in charge, not the cigarettes.

      Reply
  9. WB in OH says

    January 10, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    I’m on Day 12 of my latest smoking cessation program. Good times.

    Reply
  10. Ognir says

    January 10, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    Stick with it –

    You’ll feel much better as time goes on.

    Reply
  11. johnthebasket says

    January 10, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    Good luck, WB. I’m afraid I need to be next. It’s half-past time and I think I’m a-fixin’ to die. I’m a situational spacer. That first sentence ended with a capital B, and one space would have been crowded. The second sentence ended with a lower-case t and looked OK, so I just left one. I know that’s not very Strunk and White of me; it must be a transitional phase.

    jtb

    Reply
  12. Bill in WV says

    January 10, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    We’re right in the middle of a chemically contaminated water crisis here in Jeff’s old stomping grounds, so I’ve vowed not to bath for a while. I also won’t worry about drining water, as long as Go-Mart has a beer supply.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      January 10, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      Saw that on the news last night. Holy Shit! Good luck, Bill. Let me know if the beer supply gets slow and I’ll send a shipment from New York.

      Reply
      • madz1962 says

        January 10, 2014 at 4:14 pm

        LOW dammit LOW

        Reply
  13. madz1962 says

    January 10, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    I quit sucking my thumb about 4 months ago!

    Seriously, and I’m not sure if this is considered a habit, but about a year ago I stopped washing my hair every day and switched to every other day. The girl who cuts it said it would be so much healthier. At first I thought “Oh! ICK” but damn if she wasn’t right.

    “Wipe their nose on a Wendy’s napkin” LMAO!

    Reply
  14. Sponge says

    January 10, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    Definitely having a hard time with the two spaces thing too…Thank God I never started smoking!

    Reply
  15. Phil Jett says

    January 10, 2014 at 4:46 pm

    Just started my seven day off period. I cram 168 hours of work into three weeks, then have 4, 8 hour days for training then seven days off.(a five team modified DuPont schedule)

    I complete my training in April then it’s three weeks of work and two weeks off the rest of the year.

    In March I will have two years of breaking my habit of eating like a pig and sitting on my ass all the time when I’m not working.

    Reply
  16. Billy Joel says

    January 10, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    Well, it looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      January 10, 2014 at 7:49 pm

      Ha! God bless the Bridges

      Reply
  17. ashton says

    January 10, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    The iphone types a period when you hit the space bar twice, so it ends up correct, but it also keeps you in two space mode when you are typing.

    so I leave it at that.

    Reply
    • Rick in the UK now says

      January 12, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      +1 to this. If you compare my texting to my typing, you’d think I was some kind of bipolar.

      Reply
  18. bikerchick says

    January 10, 2014 at 7:07 pm

    What’s the deal with the background of this site being in dark grey and words in black?!? I’m going fucking blind reading this! All “reply’s” to an original comment are in a white background. Going from black to white is like looking into the goddamn sun!

    Fucking phone. Ever since it auto-updated the other day, its been this way. Wait….unless Jeff changed his background
    Color. In that case, I’ll just keep my pie hole shut and squint..
    Shit!!

    Reply
    • Jason says

      January 10, 2014 at 7:47 pm

      It’s your goddamn phone.

      Reply
  19. Clueless says

    January 10, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    Use one space after periods when texting but still use two when writing letters. Or comments.

    And not too terribly busy as I only work part-part-time. Age has its privileges. That and being married to a slightly younger man who’s too young to retire yet.

    Reply
  20. t-storm says

    January 10, 2014 at 7:59 pm

    My old phone did that so I couldn’t read the site on my phone.

    Reply
  21. chill says

    January 10, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    I stopped biting my nails many years ago. Still smoke.

    I’ve only ever used “two spaces” if I’m using an actual typewriter, which doesn’t happen much these days. I learned about the “two spaces” from somewhere, but never took a typing class, so it wasn’t beaten into me.

    And judging by the comments already posted, it doesn’t seem to matter if you type one space or two around here; the site changes it to one space anyway when you click Submit Comment. Like how the regular old quote marks you type get turned into “smart quotes” (a loathsome name BTW).
    .

    Reply
  22. The4thStooge says

    January 10, 2014 at 8:24 pm

    I’ve had heart failure, pneumonia (twice!) and the flu (twice). There’s no question–the flu was the absolute WORST! No matter that with the first 2 I definitely could’ve died, the flu was the worst in that I actually ASKED to die. Thankfully, my mother didn’t get the rifle and take me up on it…

    Reply
  23. Otis Day says

    January 11, 2014 at 12:22 am

    I’m not giving up the 2 spaces after a period dammit!

    and I’m not giving up drinking.

    If I could only give up spanking the monkey every day!

    Reply
  24. Limey says

    January 11, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    I like 2 spaces.

    I can’t get used to a possessive ” ‘s ” after a name ending in a “s” – Otis’s apples, rather than Otis’ apples. I was taught Otis’ apples and it just looks correct.

    Reply
  25. Practical Parsimony says

    January 12, 2014 at 2:08 am

    I gave up biting my nails and putting two spaces after a period. For an English major that is heresy. I gave up a couple of friends, too.

    Reply
  26. Airandee says

    January 12, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    I stop sneaking a pinch of chew in July. The only time I miss it is when I work in the yard or on long drives in the car. I also caught the flu years ago and prayed for death. When I went to the doctors I fell asleep in the waiting room and they thought I died after calling my name and I did not respond.

    Reply
  27. Westersteve says

    January 12, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    Had the flu this despite a flu shot. It only lasted 2 days instead of 10 . Although it sucks it sucks for less time.

    Reply

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