OK, I have about an hour before I have to leave for work. Let’s see what we can do here. Sweet sainted mother of Buster Bloodvessel!
The older boy is home sick today. Says he has the flu. Needless to say, I’m skeptical. I’m always skeptical when people tell me they have the flu. It’s become a catch-all diagnosis for every sniffle and sore throat.
Years ago, when I lived in Atlanta, I had the actual flu, and thought I was going to die. It was sustained misery for nearly two weeks. I didn’t go to work, didn’t eat, barely slept, and every trip to the bathroom was like climbing Mount Everest. I was living alone, and finally called my parents and asked them for help. I didn’t know if I was going to survive, literally; it just kept going and going and going.
And for the record: my folks didn’t come, for some reason. Yes, it’s important to have a strong support network. By the end I looked like Alice Cooper, and lost about twenty pounds. I was so weak blinking was starting to take its toll.
So, when people wipe their nose with a Wendy’s napkin, or stifle a cough or two, and say they’re coming down with flu, it annoys me. They can take their fake flu and ram it deep, and on a slant.
Of course, if it turns out he REALLY does have the flu… I guess I’ll be the asshole. Again. Oh well, it’s something I’ve learned to live with.
Last week at work I told ’em I was going to take both Saturday and Sunday off this week. They’re supposed to be my normal off-days, but I’ve worked the last two Saturdays, and if I’m not careful… it’ll become expected. I need some downtime. I’m burnt to a goddamn crisp.
Yeah, everything was fine until Saturday got a little closer. Now I’m getting some mild passive/aggressive pressure to work again. But, unless mild turns into something more overt, I’m not doing it. I’m working my regular, already-ridiculous schedule. Because I am a hero.
Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get to experience that great feeling when I wake up, growl “fuuuuuck,” and realize I’m actually free for a couple of days. Man, is there a better feeling in this world? I don’t get to experience it very often these days, but that only heightens the pleasure when it does happen.
And since we’re on the subject… Please don’t tell me how crazy-busy you are, and proceed to talk about the ten TV shows you watch religiously. I don’t even know what a TV show looks like at this point. Is Melrose Place still the hot thing?
On a more positive note, I think I’ve finally trained myself to stop using two spaces after a period. Thank you… thank you very much. It was something that was drilled into my head during typing class in high school, back when you still had to hand-crank cars.
However, it’s out of fashion now. I’ve been trying to kick the habit, but it’s hard-wired in my brain. And there’s a crazy muscle-memory that kicks in. It’s been tough, my friends, but I think I’ve finally done it. Only rarely do I backslide at this point. I believe I’ve successfully beaten back an ancient disposition, which ain’t easy.
Have you ever broken any long-term habits? I’m not very good with it. I have plenty of things I’d like to change (God knows), and sometimes make an effort. But it almost always ends in failure. What deep-seated habits have you successfully killed-off during your life? Big ones, or small ones — like my single-space victory. Use the comments link below to tell us about it.
And I’m going back to work, boys and girls.
Have yourselves a fantastic day.
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!
I’m also trying to break the habit of two spaces after a period. My daughter told me five years ago that it was out of style, and I yelled my head off at her, but I realize it’s true. Especially now that Jeff said it.
I also had the experience of having the flu (25 years ago) and having to call my mother to come over and make me some soup. She only lived a block away, and she did it, but I later found out that she made fun of me with her friends. Ouch.
The Qweezy Mark says
I’ve been getting more boners than usual lately. And farting more.
Joe T. says
Are you still losing big bills in bars?
Who decided that we stop using two spaces? I’m not doing it. I stopped smoking cigarettes. I started back when you didn’t even have to be 18 to buy them. And now I’m cigarette free. I started using cocaine instead. And I’m a lot better off, I think.
T. Farty McAppleass says
Do you still put out even though you stopped smoking?
Any woman that buys me two drinks is going to get lucky. That’s a reliable fact.
lori from cbus says
shit. let me get my purse
You’re not even my Facebook friend.
lori from cbus says
made you look! haha
Not busy at all. Been unemployed for 3 weeks.
TV shows walking dead modern family brooklyn 99 the middle maron but im through those episodes.
The only habits I’ve ever broken are rampant drinking/drug abuse 25 years ago, and smoking cigarettes about 20 years ago. The first because I got kinda tired of going to jail, the second because the price kept going up. I was pissed when a pack of smokes went from 27 cents to 32 cents in the PX. So by the time they hit about $2.50 I was fed up, and just quit buying the damn things. Two spaces after a period, I don’t remember that from typing class, but then I don’t remember much at all about high school.
I quit drinking pop over a year ago. I use to chug at least a 2 Liter a day. Now I drink water. That was real hard to get use to at first. I also cut out junk food. I have to say that apples are just not as tasty as say Tastykake brand Tasty Klair Pies.
I’m actually racking up more bad habits. Mind you, it’s not a goal or anything, just the price of not giving a rat’s ass.
Buzz in Wheeling says
Quit smoking in 1980. [2 spaces]. [1 space]. Yeah, 1 space between sentences is enough. 2 spaces is a waste of space. Or spaces.
Anyway, any habit is easy to let go of – WHEN YOU ARE READY.
OK, when are you ready? Easy, you are ready when you hurt enough and when you are angry enough. Not angry at yourself – angry at the habit that owns you.
Start thinking along those lines. Then get off your ass and get to work.
I concur; quit smoking 40 years ago this month because I decided I was in charge, not the cigarettes.
WB in OH says
I’m on Day 12 of my latest smoking cessation program. Good times.
Stick with it –
You’ll feel much better as time goes on.
Good luck, WB. I’m afraid I need to be next. It’s half-past time and I think I’m a-fixin’ to die. I’m a situational spacer. That first sentence ended with a capital B, and one space would have been crowded. The second sentence ended with a lower-case t and looked OK, so I just left one. I know that’s not very Strunk and White of me; it must be a transitional phase.
Bill in WV says
We’re right in the middle of a chemically contaminated water crisis here in Jeff’s old stomping grounds, so I’ve vowed not to bath for a while. I also won’t worry about drining water, as long as Go-Mart has a beer supply.
Saw that on the news last night. Holy Shit! Good luck, Bill. Let me know if the beer supply gets slow and I’ll send a shipment from New York.
LOW dammit LOW
I quit sucking my thumb about 4 months ago!
Seriously, and I’m not sure if this is considered a habit, but about a year ago I stopped washing my hair every day and switched to every other day. The girl who cuts it said it would be so much healthier. At first I thought “Oh! ICK” but damn if she wasn’t right.
“Wipe their nose on a Wendy’s napkin” LMAO!
Definitely having a hard time with the two spaces thing too…Thank God I never started smoking!
Phil Jett says
Just started my seven day off period. I cram 168 hours of work into three weeks, then have 4, 8 hour days for training then seven days off.(a five team modified DuPont schedule)
I complete my training in April then it’s three weeks of work and two weeks off the rest of the year.
In March I will have two years of breaking my habit of eating like a pig and sitting on my ass all the time when I’m not working.
Billy Joel says
Well, it looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Ha! God bless the Bridges
The iphone types a period when you hit the space bar twice, so it ends up correct, but it also keeps you in two space mode when you are typing.
so I leave it at that.
Rick in the UK now says
+1 to this. If you compare my texting to my typing, you’d think I was some kind of bipolar.
What’s the deal with the background of this site being in dark grey and words in black?!? I’m going fucking blind reading this! All “reply’s” to an original comment are in a white background. Going from black to white is like looking into the goddamn sun!
Fucking phone. Ever since it auto-updated the other day, its been this way. Wait….unless Jeff changed his background
Color. In that case, I’ll just keep my pie hole shut and squint..
It’s your goddamn phone.
Use one space after periods when texting but still use two when writing letters. Or comments.
And not too terribly busy as I only work part-part-time. Age has its privileges. That and being married to a slightly younger man who’s too young to retire yet.
My old phone did that so I couldn’t read the site on my phone.
I stopped biting my nails many years ago. Still smoke.
I’ve only ever used “two spaces” if I’m using an actual typewriter, which doesn’t happen much these days. I learned about the “two spaces” from somewhere, but never took a typing class, so it wasn’t beaten into me.
And judging by the comments already posted, it doesn’t seem to matter if you type one space or two around here; the site changes it to one space anyway when you click Submit Comment. Like how the regular old quote marks you type get turned into “smart quotes” (a loathsome name BTW).
I’ve had heart failure, pneumonia (twice!) and the flu (twice). There’s no question–the flu was the absolute WORST! No matter that with the first 2 I definitely could’ve died, the flu was the worst in that I actually ASKED to die. Thankfully, my mother didn’t get the rifle and take me up on it…
Otis Day says
I’m not giving up the 2 spaces after a period dammit!
and I’m not giving up drinking.
If I could only give up spanking the monkey every day!
I like 2 spaces.
I can’t get used to a possessive ” ‘s ” after a name ending in a “s” – Otis’s apples, rather than Otis’ apples. I was taught Otis’ apples and it just looks correct.
Practical Parsimony says
I gave up biting my nails and putting two spaces after a period. For an English major that is heresy. I gave up a couple of friends, too.
I stop sneaking a pinch of chew in July. The only time I miss it is when I work in the yard or on long drives in the car. I also caught the flu years ago and prayed for death. When I went to the doctors I fell asleep in the waiting room and they thought I died after calling my name and I did not respond.
Had the flu this despite a flu shot. It only lasted 2 days instead of 10 . Although it sucks it sucks for less time.