There’s some kind of wicked stench in my car, and I can’t find the source of it. It smells like rotting flesh. I have a feeling there’s a gone-rogue chicken nugget wedged somewhere, and it’s slowly decomposing. Last night, as I was leaving work, I found myself stretched across my backseat, shining the flashlight on my phone underneath the seats and alongside the console. And I can’t locate the troublesome tender. I just had to move my car, so the older boy could get out, and the stink was still hale and hearty this morning. I guess it’ll eventually just disappear, right?
On a related note, I’m thinking about trading that car for something newer. I probably should wait a few weeks now. But I run up the miles on vehicles, on account of my long commute. Three or four years ago I attended a management training course (super-valuable experience for sure) with another guy at work. It was in Rhode Island, and we rented a Chevy Cruze to drive up there. We loved the car so much we each bought one when we returned. I’m not kidding. So, we purchased them at roughly the same time, and yesterday I asked him how many miles his has on it. He said about 44K. Mine? Pushing 100K.
So, I want to dump that thing. There’s nothing wrong with it, I just want to trade it before it has zero value. Plus… the new car fever launch sequence has now been activated, and it’s hard to pull out of one of those situations. Stay tuned. Maybe I’ll post one of those duck-face gang-signal photos of me standing beside it? …Yeah, probably not.
Speaking of that, what in the hell is this “fam” shit that people are suddenly inserting into their sentences? I used to think it meant family, or maybe good friends (like family). But now it just seems to be inserted randomly into conversation. And it’s sometimes used in place of “Oh, man!” or “Holy shit!” Somebody will say something outrageous, and another person will exclaim, “Fam!” What in the everlasting hell?? I walk through life confused a good percentage of the time.
The Cincinnati Reds announced they’re going to allow 30% capacity at their stadium this year, and hopefully increase that number as the season progresses. That’s good news. Last year they had those weird cardboard cutouts in the stands. So there might be a golden retriever sitting beside an operations manager from Dayton sitting beside Edgar Allen Poe, etc. Plus, they used fake piped-in crowd noises for the TV and radio broadcasts. Getting back to good old fashioned dipshit humans is great progress. I’m looking forward to baseball. Spring Training games start this weekend, and opening day is April 1. Bring it on!
My friend Steve gave me a bootleg DVD of the Beatles “Let It Be” documentary. That thing has been out of print since, what, the 1980s? Something like that? It was never released on DVD, and was only on VHS briefly. I think Paul McCartney hates it, because it makes him look like a tyrant and an asshole. Whenever somebody posts it on YouTube it’s immediately removed. Somebody doesn’t want us to see it. Also… Peter Jackson was commissioned to make an alternative movie using the same raw footage. That will be called “Get Back,” and comes out this summer. I’ll wager that Paul comes across in a more positive light in that film. Just a hunch.
Somebody at work was telling me how “great” Smashburger is. I’ve never been to one, ’cause there are none around here. However… I’m going to be Smashburger-adjacent on Saturday. Any good? Or am I receiving faulty intel? What do you know about this important situation? How should I proceed?
And finally, I’m going to follow up on something I was talking about in a recent podcast episode. I was down here in the bunker, around midnight or so, and needed some food. I’d had a few craft beers that evening, and a hunger was taking hold. Then I remembered: there’s Chinese leftovers in the fridge! I think I literally squealed with excitement. For a question I’d like to know your favorite “midnight snack.” It could be leftovers, or any other thing. What do you go for, during a late night hunger attack? I also like a big bowl of cornflakes with bananas. That always hits the spot. But… Chinese leftovers might be at the very top of the pyramid. What do you have on this? Please share in the comments.
And I’m calling it a day, my friends. I’m going to launch the Friday email momentarily, then head off to work.
Have yourselves a great, great weekend!
I’ll be back soon.
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I’m thinking of the Bob’s Burgers episode where he has been shrunk down and is interacting with stuff in his car. That version of Let It Be may have come from a Japanese laserdisc release.
I have a digital copy of Let It Be that says it was released by 20th Century Fox. It’s not from a VHS.
I’m sure the Peter Jackson’s version will be higher quality. Check out his They Shall Not Grow Old if you haven’t already.
Limey, The best I can tell, the film was last released in any official capacity in 1981 on VHS/Betamax, and in 1982 on Laserdisc. The Laserdisc version is the source of most of the less-than-official copies out there. That’s the source of my copy, and it looks pretty decent.
A neighbor has free EV charging at work. She charges her car during the day, rather than overnight at home. She doesn’t pay a penny in fuel for her commute. (as a cheap bastard) I like this. Is an EV viable? Bolts and previous gen Leafs (Leaves?) have precipitous initial depreciation, I’ve considered a used one.
Smashburger is good. Not something I would go way out of my way for, but they make some good burgers.
In&out is the finest. All other burger places can die
I used to think that. I used to eat at In-N-Out weekly. Last time I had one it was excellent but not as good as I remembered. The competition has caught up. At that price level I’d choose Freddies most often.
eta: 2 posts from me about burgers, must be lunch time
With freddys I’ve never ordered anything but the double cheeseburger and it’s really great. I’ve never been to a smash burger but I saw the creator demonstrating it on tv. I don’t understand.
Late at night by go to is shredded wheat cereal with a handful of blueberries tossed in. This may give some the impression that I eat healthy but the opposite is true.
I like Smashburger, wouldn’t drive hours for it or wait in one of those New-Chik-Fil-A, backed-up-down-the-highway lines for it, but yeah I’d go for sure. Give us your thoughts Jeff!
I would rate Smashburger as not quite as good as Freddies, but both very good.
We just bought a car from a vending machine – – you know the one. It was fun and not too painful. It’s 4 years old and has about 30K miles on it; with the amount I drive anymore it’ll probably get to 40K in the next 5 years.
Fam? Wha? Not in those use cases.
Munchie food – anything cheese related. Or Indian. Or just a bag of tortilla chips.
Just read this: “In the throes of fatigue, laziness, or late-night inebriation, there are few better meals than pasta with eggs, cheese, and a little crispy pork.” That guy has my vote.
My nearest In-n-out is about a 20 hour drive from here, so it is not in the lunch rotation.
Smashburger is horrible here, unless you like a dried out burger. Rare, med rare, medium….forget it.
Our local Smashburger didn’t last long. Maybe 5 years. Burgers were ok. Onion rings were good. We went once and never went back. Better places to grab a burger. Freddie’s is good. Late night snack would be peanut butter cup ice cream.
In-n-Out, Slashburger and Freddy’s each has over 300 drive-in locations. I looked it up. Pick-Quick has three locations, which is two more than I’m comfortable with, but the family has three generations working now and needs jobs for all of them, so what the hell: live and be well.
The in crowd knows damn well that when someone says Pick-Quick they mean the original 1948 location on Highway 99, with its own park and picnic tables along the creek. Hand-cut french fries prepared perfectly and milkshakes with real fruit. Terrific burgers. I would not be comforted to know that someone in St. Louis could have exactly the same food and experience I do when I eat there. They should have a St. Louis experience. Think global, eat local.
Fast food is discussed regularly out here (I’d say on a 9-1 ratio to music) and I swear I’m the only Reporter who advocates locally owned and family operated businesses. (No sir, none of the three food giants mentioned above is solely a franchise operation).I guess the corporatization of food isn’t a fad. I think that’s sad and robs us of a sense of place in our lives. When McLuhan talked about global communications inevitably creating a global village he didn’t imagine that every village would look the same and taste the same. Alas, he was wrong.
You’re not the only one, John. When I eat that sort of thing it will be at the Westover Beer Garden or maybe Weenie Beenie. Once in a while I hit the Tastee 29 Diner, which has been featured in a Zippy comic strip. Each of these establishments has one location. I’ve long believed in “support your local.”
As the world moved from the industrial economy into the digital economy and now into the bio economy, replication became less and less useful and innovation replaced it as the primary global economic driver.
I flew all over the country in the ’80s and ’90s, and I can’t tell you how many times the locals offered to take me out to dinner at their Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. Sometimes I just went along, and sometimes I asked if they had something with some local flavor. I must say I never had a bad steak or a new experience at Ruth’s.
John
“Support your local” reminds me of something I don’t understand about myself. As a straight man, why do I find James Garner so damned attractive? I grew up when Maverick was in first run, and there were four Mavericks (Bret, Beau, Bart and Brent) on the show. Because they produced 26 shows a year and did most of their own stunts, the weekly grind got to be a bit much, so the actors, particularly Bret and Bart, would rotate weeks, taking a week off to let their bruises and muscle strains heal, and to learn their lines for their next episode. If I turned on the TV and Bret (James Garner) wasn’t on that week’s show, I’d turn the TV off. Jack Kelly and Roger Moore (and even Robert Colbert) were perfectly good actors, and the writing and direction were always competent, but no Garner, no watch.
I’ve seen every episode of the Rockford Files and both the “support your local” movies.
Has anyone else had a non-sexual attraction to James Garner that makes you want to go have a beer with him every Saturday night for the rest of your life? As with Admiral Halsey, the world wonders . . .
jtb
I’ve seen a wretched copy of “Let It Be” where everyone was all stretchy and had green faces. “Get Back” should be tons better, and I can’t wait to see it. I will go to an actual theater.
“Duck-face gang-signal photos”. Well said.
Here’s a “sneak peek” of “Get Back,” in case you haven’t seen it: https://youtu.be/UocEGvQ10OE
Wow, nice! Now I really want to see the movie. It’s great to see The Boys when they were young and the music was new. I extra-love all the 1960s (and 50s!) recording studio electronics we see in passing.
And look who had the first comment on the youtube page.
Despite living near Smashburger and Freddy’s locations for several years, I’ve never happened to have either. Every time I have 5 Guys I’m impressed and it seems better than expected. My new thing, though, is Shake Shack double SmokeShack Burger with added cherry peppers + spicy cheese fries. They also have a decent Shackmeister Ale and I’ve noticed a local craft at the few locations I’ve visited. The Shack just added a Korean Fried Chicken sandwich that may get some play if my current craving lasts into tonight. Never understood the In&Out phenom despite having tried it 3 or so times.
No smash burger or in and outs near me but I did enjoy a,shake shack burger and fries.
I bought a leftover 2020 Hyundai elantra in October. I wanted the sonata but it didn’t justify the extra money. Not too many bells and whistles but when I gas up I can go 450 miles. That’s about a months worth of going to and from work.
Jeff, I gotta say, I’m loving the weekly email. I’m obsessed with the weekly weird headlines. Keep them coming!!
Late night is chips and salsa, popcorn, or nuts. Usually nuts since chips will spike my blood sugar and my glucose monitor will be screaming at me for an hour until the insulin kicks in.
I have had the new car launch in progress for about a year. My 2015 car just hit 26k miles and my 2018 truck just hit 17k miles (oil change #3 was last week. I heard Ford is coming out with a Raptor R next year which will be a necessity… I don’t like my 201& Raptor because it doesn’t feel right having a truck with a V6 even if it is strong as a cocked up ox. I’ve avoided buying a new car because I keep thinking I’m going to have enough money to buy a dream car, but every time I do have a windfall I am too chickenshit to spend it on a car again, so I buy commercial realestate instead. I may have come out better buying the car given everyone going out of business.
I sometimes think of myself as a little reckless, but not even I would hang around if I came across a cocked up ox. How does an ox even get cocked up? Nevermind… I don’t think I want to know.
madz,
I’ve spent a little time down in ox country, and it was once explained to me by a guy in a big hat. It has something to do with the eyes of Texas. They wander like a heard of oxes, and burn but are not consumed.
And I remain among the minority that never understood the popularity of that Nirvana album, even though the boys are from my extended neighborhood. You ought to see their hometown. Makes the Dallas metroplex look like Central Park.
jtb
Adam,
In these dark times, I’m too chickenshit to buy commercial real estate.
I will not read them with a fox, I will not read them in a box. If this is the new normal kill me now.
Killing you would be the worst
Since climate change might get you first
And if that isn’t up to task
Just walk outside without a mask
But if that doesn’t fit the bill
Moving to Texas surely will
(Apologies to Theodor and any any cringing purists for the missing syllable in the first line; it wasn’t worth the effort to amend.)
Who knew normal could be so surreal?