I had a dream a few nights ago that I was driving through a toll plaza, possibly on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. It definitely wasn’t the Dunbar Toll Bridge, where I was a highly-decorated toll collector for many years. Which disappoints me… If a toll plaza is going to appear in one of my dreams, it’s GOTTA be the Dunbar Toll Bridge, right?
In any case, as I slowed and passed through, a young girl — maybe 13 or 14 years old — walked nearby (inexplicably). She was smiling and happy, and practically skipping along. And I thought, “How long has it been since I was that happy? Wonder if I’ll ever be that happy again?” Then I agonized about how my time is running out, and how I’m stuck in some kind of low-grade sadness loop. And it felt like the agonizing lasted for hours.
It’s not good, my friends. I think I need a team of psychiatrists, like George. And that’s not really even a joke. I’m not writing, I’m not responding to emails… nothing is being accomplished. I’m on autopilot, just doing the bare minimum required to not completely destroy my life. For the past month or so I’ve been nothing but a fat sack of melancholy.
Will somebody please drive up here and shoe me in the nuts? Seriously. Some people have real problems. If I was on the outside looking in, I’d say fuck that guy. I’d want to punch him straight in the mouth.
Anyway, let’s move on.
The original Project Petty has now been completed, as of ten minutes ago. I was planning to buy every studio CD (I don’t buy live albums) from the debut through Full Moon Fever. Then I realized I just needed to buy three additional CDs and I’d have the entire catalog. I already have five of his Warner releases, from when I worked there. One still had the shrinkwrap on it. Heh. So, I’m pressing on with a new super-sized version of the Project.
The mustachioed mailman just delivered Full Moon Fever, and next on the list is Into the Great Wide Open. I’m going to order it before I leave for work today. I don’t think it’s a very good record, if memory serves, but I’m required to acquire. Ya know?
The album that surprised me the most was Let Me Up (I’ve Had Enough). That one’s loose and rockin’ and fun. I don’t think it gets much respect, but it sounds great in a car.
After I close out the category, I’m going to need to start a new project. But, I’m having trouble coming up with a target. It has to be an artist that sold a lot of records, or the price of the CDs will be too high. Or they’ll be completely out of print. AC/DC is done, and so is Van Halen. I can’t stand Pink Floyd, so don’t recommend those wankers. But who should it be? Remember: it can’t be obscure. And there has to be a classic rock nostalgia vibe to it. Help me out, won’t you?
Speaking of Pink Floyd, I stepped in dog shit last night. In our kitchen! Andy is getting old (he’ll be 16 on June 1), and if somebody doesn’t let him outside the moment he requests it… he just offloads where he stands. It’s not a huge problem, yet. But he’s erected pyramids in the living room two or three times over the past six months or so, and last night in the kitchen. And I stepped in it, while wearing socks. I threw both of them in the trash, even though only one was soiled. It felt like both needed to go. Am I wrong? One sock was shit-smeared, and the other had been shit-adjacent. Yes, it’s quite a life I’ve carved out for myself.
If the price was closer to $50, instead of $400, I’d be tempted to buy one of these. I don’t know why, really. What would I do with such an item? It’s pretty cool, though. What do you think? And which TV show set replica would you like to see next? I’d like to have the sheriff’s office from The Andy Griffith Show, maybe with Otis sleeping in one of the cells? What do you say?
And I need to go, now. Another day of non-stop fun awaits. I’ll try to snap out of it, and not go so long between updates. I’m also trying to work on this book project, and Andy’s output has been superior to mine so far. I need to go on a vacation, or climb into a sweat lodge, or something. Sheesh. This shit is ridiculous.
I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
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Might I suggest Rush for your next audio odyssey? The soundtrack of my youth. Might surprise.
I’ve never been much of a Rush fan, but I will be the first to admit that “The Spirit of Radio” opens with a seriously kick-ass bass riff. No, really.
I second that.
Some suggestions…Aerosmith, Kansas, Molly Hatchet, REO Speedwagon? Led Zeplin.
Nobody cares about your dreams you damn cloud riding freak.
—–
Maybe a switch of style would do good on the next musical mystery tour. It could also help with the mood situation.
Go for the entire Megadeth catalogue.
Maybe try all the collected works of George Strait.
you could work your way through the entire Funkadelic/Parliment discography. That’s not bu 27 studio records.
All three of those are something I want to do.
If not, then the Beatles have a shit ton of stuff and you probably own a lot already.
There are a tone of Led Zepplin box sets that have everything in one go.
I have not really listened to the last two TP albums so I don’t know about them. The album Wildflowers is a great TP and THB album. There may be a some sort of deluxe release coming out this year. The first Mudcrutch album is great. The second one I don’t care for much. She’s The One soundtrack is one the great unknown TP albums. I take it you skipping the box set along with the live releases.
Maybe try collecting all of the TMBG records or something like that. Just don’t go out and buy all of the Bob Seger albums.
Led Zepplin pops into mind immediately.
I like the suggestion of delving into something completely different, maybe a bit of Motorhead. 2nd on Megadeath. Or way to the other end of the spectrum, some Hank Williams, the 1st one. Or maybe Dolly Parton will shake up your feathers. =-)
Led Zeppelin = bunch of wankers singing about orcs and fairies.
TMBG is a good suggestion.
Aerosmith’s a good one. Plenty prolific, and some of their old stuff was amazing.
BTW: it sounds like you have a good, old-fashioned case of SAD. I got it every winter when I lived in NJ, which is the same neighborhood as PA. From what I’ve seen on the news, you guys have had a rough winter. Take precautions! A couple of years ago, I wound up in the ER with a full-blown freakout, complete with chest pains, because of SAD.
http://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/emotional-health/winter-blues
Thin Lizzy.
I’m a ‘put yourself in perspective person’. That might sound arrogant but it’s not to me. I live and will always continue to live in remote places always to put myself back to what I should appreciate. I’m no ‘Hippy’ but learn from other people. Anthony Bourdain, Bear Gyllis & Hazen Audel, Mike Rowe are my favorite people.
Whoops forgot Chris Hatfield. Plus Justin Trudeau does not have a leadership bone in his body. He is an embarrassment to our country – dingbat.
Mr. Hadfield is also a hero of mine: a national treasure. Actually, an international treasure.
jtb
Solar Systemnal treasure?
Thanks for the spelling correction. Then there is Mr Suzuki…. 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo
And when you have 18 minutes, you should really check out Chris Hadfield’s TED talk . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo62S0ulqhA
I’d like the golden girls kitchen set. Or living.g room.
The Steve miller band has a great library.
Good choice!
I was going to suggest the space cowboy
Bet you weren’t ready for that.
To be fair, some call him the gangster of love.
jtb
I have never actually heard anyone call him Maurice.
Chill, I think that’s because you rarely speak of the pompitous of love.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/972/in-steve-millers-the-joker-what-is-the-pompatus-of-love
Chill,
As a lifelong (well, since 1980 or so) reader of The Straight Dope, I remember when Cecil and J K Fabian cracked the case. And, by coincidence, I was briefly an epismetology major back in the good old college days. I ended up with something more prosaic, but, late at night I still occasionally whisper sweet words of pizmotality just to keep my hand in.
Wankers reference Wikipedia or the Britannica, but serious scholars know the final arbiter of all things on heaven and earth is the Straight Dope.
You, sir, are a scholar. Thanks.
John
Roy Orbison for music.
I agree with Thin Lizzy, though they were never a super group, I had no problem getting their whole library. EBay had some great deals under $2.
You need an adventure.
Agreed.
I find myself in the same sort of funk as you. Still waiting for Vol 2 of your “Best of” anthology to snap me out of it…
I gasped when I saw the Seinfeld set. I don’t remember a little home office area, though.
Speaking of stepping in dog shit… a neighborhood St Bernard set a trap for me one night as I was walking home from watching our small town Christmas parade. My foot nearly disappeared as the shit squished around and over my shoe. I threw away the shoes.
Maybe going to a good concert would help you get out of your funk, or a quick trip to NYC.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFKThNh5Vqk
jtb/cub
Great song. Everyone’s your friend. Well, except for that kid who tried to take my bike when I was 11.
Music anthology suggestions:
-Slim Whitman
-Sonny and Cher
-any song containing the word “boogie”
-John Denver
-Jethro Tull
-Olivia Newton-John
Models of TV show sets: The Brady Bunch or maybe Star Trek!
I think Rusty was onto something mentioning SAD. Seasonal Affective Disorder is one of the reasons I think humans should hibernate for the winter!
Up yours, Punxsutawney Phil!
Tull is an excellent choice! Great catalog and every one different from the others (except the flute of course).
Really don’t mind if you sit this one out.
I’ve had “Thick as a Brick” playing in my head for the last several days. Thanks, John. And I’m not really being all that sarcastic; it could be much, much worse. Excuse me while I look for the sheet music.
Yeah, I somehow assumed this was the Trump administration’s theme song, but then I remembered that none of them is close to cool enough to get into Tull:
So you ride yourselves over the fields
And you make all your animal deals
And your wise men don’t know how it feels
To be thick as a brick
.
jtb
It’s been awhile brothers and sisters, and sometimes I just can’t hep mysef.
Ever since that album came out, I always figured “thick as a brick” was a Britishism meaning “dumb as a rock.”
And not to worry – we, the cats, shall hep ya.
I can’t help but wonder if quitting drinking has had an affect on your well-being. Just a thought.
. . . or on your homonym differentiation.
Effective humour there
I even looked it up while posting, so I wouldn’t screw-up. I should’ve just written it out first.
Nads, I hope you understand I was just having fun. I screw up all the time when I’m commenting here. And your thesis was interesting.
John
You may want to take up mindfulness and then buy a yoga mat. That way, Andy would have a place to shit that is easier to clean up, which should improve your mood.
I clicked on that link (Seinfeld set) and now ads for that appear all over everything I look at online.
As much as I’d prefer to recommend Canned Heat or the Fugs for your completist jag (completism is one of the few mental health problems I haven’t acquired: damn, I need that one for my collection) I’m going to recommend Steely Dan. After the guffaws subside, I’ll point out that Dan has only nine studio albums (only seven during their primary career) and that after you scoff at each one, you’ll likely enjoy the shit out of it.
From Kings to Rikki to Deacon Blues, Dan is too smooth, but so was my first girlfriend, and sometimes at night I miss her. I suspect that bringing these albums home will feel a little like bringing yourself home, and that might make you feel better.
John
I think most of our first girlfriends were too smooth.
I have tried several times to like Steely Dan, and no, it just won’t take. They are in the same folder as the Grateful Dead, to me inexplicably popular.
I’ll second the motion for Steely Dan. The first four albums, at least, are a must. I loved the songs from Katy Lied when they appeared on the radio, and quickly bought that and the two-album back catalog. Doctor Wu introduced me to “jazz,” which soon led to harder drugs like Anthony Braxton. And I really enjoy the horns on My Old School; shades of the big band era.
But even as pop music, the Dan’s stuff is generally well-written, well-produced and smart. They have a (great) song about a little kid exploring prehistoric cave paintings. Another one about panicky drug dealers trying to hide the evidence and get out. Another about a hostage situation. And so on.
And of course Jeff “Skunk” Baxter has one of the more interesting rock-n-roll stories, in addition to swinging a mean axe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGdyVnW86SY
I really think that Steely Dan is Jeff in band form. Smart, insightful, but sarcastic and cynical as hell. You’ve got alot of votes for the Dan including mine.
I’ve provided this link once before in another context, but it’s relevant to this conversation. Here are Jeff “Skunk” Baxter and twenty-two of his closest friends recreating the final mixed recording of “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number” from 1974, at the 2016 NAMM Show. You can’t see all the strings clearly, and a couple of the guitarists and percussion guys are in the shadows, but you can hear them. The singer is Kipp Lennon, the youngest brother of the Lennon Sisters?!?! He and Skunk and the whole gang do right by a very good song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xN0hmNS_IU
John
Excellent rendition of this song! I love Steely Dan’s music even if most of the folks here don’t. In fact, I have two boxed sets; one is Marvin Gaye and the other is Steely Dan. Thanks for posting this link, John!
Steely Dan is awesome, but not a recommendable band. You either like them already, or won’t ever.
Nads, you might be right. I guess you can’t buy a thrill.
jtb
jtb, they say that the pun is the basest form of humor. Which is no doubt why I love them so much. WTG.
I was never a big Steely Dan fan but went to see them live at Walnut Creek in Raleigh circa 1997/98, part of a graduation gift to a friend. The only song I really like is Hey Nineteen, and they didn’t play it. The only redeeming feature of the evening was the group of rednecks on the lawn next to us who happily passed their blunts along our entire row…
Steely Dan — specifically Walter Becker and Donald Fagen — is a compositional band. If you want to see a performance band, you probably need to select one that doesn’t demand fifteen or twenty takes for every song segment, much less every song. You might, for example, prefer this . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhTCYqJsfqs
Although, to be fair, only James Cotton is still available, and he’s not feeling well.
jtb
Steely Dan is one of my all time favorites. When I got into radio and could listen to all their albums for free there was no turning back. A few years ago I had the chance to see them at the AMP but it was 100 degrees that day. More proof I’m getting old, too hot to go to a show.
Last week – well, maybe it was 15 years ago – I went to see Herbie Hancock and Wayne Shorter at an outdoor amphitheater. It was about 100 degrees and wicked humid. Then the rain started. It was a good show anyway. A certain segment of the audience was hollering for them to perform Rockit, and Herbie said “you may not have noticed, but I don’t have the rock band with me tonight.” It was very visibly just Herbie with his piano and Wayne with his horn.
Yes, free records was a huge perk. I may or may not have some LPs with white labels.
How about a complete movie collection? I’d like to have a complete Coen Brothers collection. I almost do. They are all worth watching more than once. Some are worth seeing a dozen times or more. Like great songs, they don’t get old. Some that didn’t get that much attention, like The Man Who Wasn’t There or Burn After Reading, are fucking outstanding.
I am in the business of programming and integrating commercial audiovisual systems. This is mostly stuff like video conference rooms, boardrooms etc. for corporations and government agencies. Very often these systems include a Blu-ray player. To test the Blu-ray player, I carry around a disc; for a few years that was O Brother. The problem with O Brother was that people (client’s employees) would stop in the doorway and watch the movie. Before that it was Lebowski, but there were complaints about the Anglo-Saxon monosyllables.
Every Coen Brothers film I’ve seen has been outstanding, but I still haven’t seen all of them.
You know – for the kids.
“Larry, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.” Hey, corporations and government agencies need to learn these things.
jtb
Corporations can also take a cue from “Shut the fuck up, Donny.”
I heartily endorse this comment – those two movies in particular are highly underappreciated.
I get a kick out of O Brother Where Art Thou every time – the lead up to the final concert sequence (fake beards and all) is masterful screenwriting and filmmaking. I am swept up every time and I laugh just as hard each time when I see the beards…
The entire Doors, Ramones, Replacements, Husker Du and Iggy Pop catalogs would be great.
Get a Bada Bing replica set or maybe a Breaking Bad Winnebago (I think they sell that one).
I second the Doors
Also see Iggy Pop and Tom Waits here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49tTzEifY6M
I know your love of all things British. I am almost 50 myself, and fell in love with this early 2000’s pop band called Atomic kitten. Have a look at https://youtu.be/mpIsPjiIXNk . Check out “whole again” if you liked that one. I watched a concert video, and it was packed with teenage girls. As you would say, what of it?
Usually a country music fan. Greg
They were good, but lately I’ve been enjoying Babymetal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvD3CHA48pA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIKqgE4BwAY
How about ELO.
ELO is so underrated. They have never disappointed me. Even Disco very was a good recording. No one I know personally agrees but I think Jeff would. But have known Jeff personally. I meant no one in my neck of the woods now. Florida sucks. Need a change with job and housing benefits somewhere else. NOW!
AWG you can come here and start a new life. Employment is great and housing is relatively inexpensive. Would love for you to come here and start a new life.
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff.
You could have avoided that whole throwing out both socks thing with my system. Once a year I replace all my socks and buy 12 pair of white, which I were the most, and 6 pair of gray, which go with anything.
If you loose 1 sock you have a spare. If you loose another you have a pair. And you don’t have to look at them in blinding light to match them up. You just throw them all in one drawer.
And once a year, your birthday or Christmas you get new socks and donate the old ones to Goodwill and take a tax deduction.
How about the Kinks for the CD project – though it may be hard to get the original catalog with all the reissues.
No Floyd….I dindnt know you were a Nazi…………
Maybe you might consider collecting the entire collection of Wilco records. At least the first 8/10 of their discography is very worthwhile.
The Allman Brothers, or for a little glam how about Mott the Hoople?
Send out the hounds! Where the fuck is my friend Jeff K? Need some humor to get me through difficult times right now.
2 weeks
How about My Bloody Valentine? They went silent for 20+ years between albums. You might like them 😉
One word: Roxy Music.
Nice
Ohhh yeahhhhh. ~wistful sigh~
For a completist, The Vapours might be attractive, since they issued only two studio albums. I know how lame their music is, and how much more lame their vids are, and I recall with some clarity how lame the ’80s were, but when Turning Japanese plays on my car radio, I tend to roll down the windows and sing along for the listening pleasure of whatever traffic jam I’m in. Other drivers see my handicap placard, issued after three back operations and all-way coronary bypass surgery, and assume the parking permit is for either mental lapses or bad taste. Fuck ’em.
John
I think I read somewhere recently they were reforming.
I think you’re talking about the symptoms including: “certain mental or physical states, such as hysteria, mania, clinical depression, bipolar disorder, lightheadedness, fainting, flush, withdrawal syndrome, mood swings, or PMS, where a sufferer lost mental focus” that kicked in about November 8.
On the other hand, in a universe that operates largely by chance, both could happen.
jtb
One has to be careful of post hoc ergo propter hoc, but on November 4, 2016 (four days before the election) live at Dingwalls this happened. . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sxNHbXgdBM
coincidence or cause and effect?
jtb
Traffic or Stoneground
Four words: Three Doors Down.
13th Floor: Elevators
and Clementine Hall for good measure
The percentage you’re paying is too high a price
While you’re living beyond all your means
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
From the profit he’s made on your dreams
But today you just read that the man was shot dead
By a gun that didn’t make any noise
But it wasn’t the bullet that laid him to rest was
The low spark of high-heeled boys
1972 or thereabouts. Wore out a couple copies of that Traffic album.
Yeah, I played that album and the previous one, John Barleycorn Must Die, so many times with a needle that was less than audiophile quality that it eventually sounded like Steve Winwood was just singing, “Paul’s dead, Paul’s dead” over and over.
And Paul wasn’t actually dead. He just married Linda Eastman who was, by all accounts a good person, but who couldn’t find the right keys on a keyboard with a telescope and a guide dog.
John
Light up or leave me alone. ~wistful sigh~
Anyone know what the all time record is for comments on a WVSR post? We getting close?
I also wore out several copies of Low Spark and John Barleycorn
458. But, to be fair, that was a census.
Now it came about in those days that a request went out from Jeff that a census be taken of all the inhabited WVSR cities. This was the first census taken while Obama was inaugurated President of America and things were rational.
jtb
Nope….I was #500 back when Jeff went to England. It went past 500 actually. In fact…I used to be Dave the Other and when I nailed #500 in a race with me-o-my-o, someone (I’ll remember her name around 3am) dubbed me dto and I’ve stuck with that. It’s in the archives somewhere I’m sure. Got a truck to drive tomorrow (I’m 60 miles east of Atlanta on I-85) to Colorado Springs and don’t wanna look it up.
dto, my brother, thanks for the correction. Looks like you (and we) have many a mile to freedom, many a smile to tell.
jtb
Has this been the longest Jeff has been away from the Surf Report before? Daaaaaaamn.
Not even close.
I like Traffic – great band.
Do you suppose there’s any chance that Dave Mason’s girlfriend told him to “Go play in traffic” and he took her literally?
11 words: Iggy Pop
I hope everything is ok with Jeff. Been lurking for many months here, the extremely long delay is concerning, especially since he admits to being a bit depressed. Any one got any news on where our friend is???
Rene and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After the War. I’m just saying . . .
Jeff, are you still alive????!?!?!?!?
I’m not really a fan of separate vacations we were forced into that situation because of work schedules. While being restful it was not very memorable without my other half. Steely Dan is a good choice also Lyle Lovett and Chris Rhea. This last week we saw Styx and Dennis DeYoung on the same weekend. I know it’s bizarre but I liked each and between the two I heard the best of the Styx catalog…live.