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A Few Quick Things, vol. 49

November 15, 2013 By Jeff 29 Comments

BuzzcocksSo, I’m reportedly an “influencer” on Twitter now. And because of this, companies are offering me things. I’ve received two $5 gift cards from McDonald’s so far, and was also invited to watch the first three episodes of a new TV show that hasn’t aired yet. I’m not sure how I achieved influencer status, but I’ll take it.

McDonald’s wanted me to try stuff from their new dollar menu, which I did. I had some sort of double cheeseburger with bacon ($2), and a McChicken samblich ($1). Both were good. If I was healthy and 17, and not worried about my heart seizing up, I’d go to town on that dollar menu. But I just can’t do it at this point. At least not consistently.

They want me to use my other gift card for some new version of the McWrap. I like those things, and feel a little less guilty when I eat one. I won’t watch the TV show episodes, though. I’ve got a life to lead, and low-cost bacon burgers to load into my mouth with the heel of my hand.

Speaking of fast food… Last night, while I was driving home from work, all the interior lights at Wendy’s went off as I passed. This is a rare thing to witness; it’s like a shooting star for fatties. I made a wish.

I’m working all the time, and it eats it from the ass-in. Last night I requested the whole week of Thanksgiving off, and will find out tomorrow if it was approved. I need to get some sleep, and reconnect with the civilian world.

I have 73 hours of vacation left, and can only carry-over 40. So, I have to burn some of ‘em up before the end of the year. And it’s going to be difficult to take time off in December.

When I left Warner Bros., I had 500 hours of vacation time saved up. It would’ve been more, but the thing capped-out. I hear stories about people who save up a ton of vacation, and take every Friday (or whatever) off for an entire year. Have you ever done anything like that? Also, have you ever amassed more than 500 hours? Please tell me your stories of extreme PTO.

I was talking with Steve yesterday, while driving to work. We were discussing our Beatles fixation, during the Jr. High/early High School years, and how we got a lot of shit from the Kiss/Aerosmith kids. They said the Beatles were old news, a throwback to a different era.

But this was in 1976, or thereabouts. Abbey Road came out in 1969. Rubber Soul and Revolver were only about ten years old at that point. Ten years! It felt like a generation. Yet 2003 was a couple of weeks ago. Why??

In 1976, my parents listened to a lot of ‘50s music: The Platters, The Coasters, Elvis, etc. And man… that was some old-ass stuff; I felt like I was walking around the Smithsonian when they cranked up those records. They were 20 year old recordings! The equivalent of something released in 1993.

Heck, when Steve called me yesterday, I was listening to Singles Going Steady by the Buzzocks in my car. It came out in 1979, 34 years ago. And it doesn’t seem old and moldy to me, not at all. This is all quite disturbing, which is why I choose not to dwell on it too much. Pass the beer nuts.

I’m sure I’ve asked this question before, but how do you put on your shoes and socks? In what order? I’m strictly a left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe kinda guy. What about you?

I don’t really trust people who put on one sock, one shoe, one sock, one shoe. That’s simply too messed up for words. I also can’t start with my right foot. It throws me off for a while. I think there should be a sticker on heavy machinery that says, “Do Not Operate If You Started With Your Right Shoe This Morning.” Right? Right.

I’m going to call it a day, my friends. I have more, but it’s late and I’ve committed to cooking dinner. I’m nervous. I have no idea what I’m doing… We’ll probably be revisiting that dollar menu at McDonald’s soon, and eating from a paper sack inside a cloud of black soot.

Wish me luck. I’ll be back soon.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker
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Comments

  1. Billy Joel says

    November 15, 2013 at 6:56 pm

    Right compression stocking right birkenstock sandal; then left compression stocking, left birkenstock sandal.

    Then I eat a box of low fat donuts and go back to bed.

    Reply
  2. johnthebasket says

    November 15, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    I jump into my shoes simultaneously, like a fireman.

    jtb

    Reply
  3. ADubb says

    November 15, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Right shoe, left sock. Left shoe, right sock.
    Bacon mcdouble…..extra dollar for half a piece of bacon, great deal:-| McD’s will be rolling out quite the few new products soon. So keep influencing people!

    Reply
  4. Westersteve says

    November 15, 2013 at 8:41 pm

    I have never heard of such weird sock and shoe arrangement . It’s sock sock shoe shoe no fancy ass two step involved
    Plus a baconator or for you bean sprout eaters a son of baconator.

    Reply
  5. Nads says

    November 15, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Makes me think of the classic All in the Family, when Archie and meathead were arguing about sock sock shoe shoe, vs sock shoe sock shoe. Something about escaping the house in various emergencies, like a fire or flood.

    Reply
    • Ozzie Bucco says

      November 16, 2013 at 12:50 am

      i was thinking of posting about this before I saw yours. it’s a classic. something like if you’re a sock/shoe sock/shoe you’d have a dry foot, but you have to hop.

      Reply
    • bikerchick says

      November 16, 2013 at 10:12 am

      And Archie’s nickname was “Shoe-Booty” or something like that.

      Reply
  6. TR says

    November 15, 2013 at 8:53 pm

    I put my socks on first than my shoes, Im pretty sure I start with my right foot. I dont think about it too much though. Best value menu item is the double cheeseburger from BK, I think its like $1.30 but its very good and filling, also their $1 spicy chicken sandwich is yummy.

    Reply
  7. Sam R Rye says

    November 15, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    I just leave my shoes and socks on all the time. I’m fat and its too hard to bend over and tie the laces.

    I think the last time they were off was 2001.

    Reply
  8. Miss Q says

    November 15, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    Right sock, left sock, right shoe (do not tie), left shoe (tie), tie right shoe.

    What?

    Reply
  9. aminnev says

    November 16, 2013 at 12:32 am

    Right sock, left sock, right shoe, left shoe. I remember the episode from All in the Family. Big ol’ discussion on the order of putting on things. Too funny.

    Reply
  10. Phil Jett says

    November 16, 2013 at 9:38 am

    We keep out shoes in shoe pukas at the entry between the house and the garage. We each have our own so everyone puts on their socks before stepping to the passage to the garage. For me it’s left-right socks and then left-right shoes.

    Reply
  11. bikerchick says

    November 16, 2013 at 10:16 am

    Right/Left for both.

    What did you wish for the night the lights went out in Wendy’s?

    Reply
  12. Ognir says

    November 16, 2013 at 10:27 am

    For me it is 180 hours – and then the time is taken away. I think I am up to about 160 right now. I did take every Friday off for a whole summer once. This was due to overtime I had acquired.

    Reply
  13. Gretchen says

    November 16, 2013 at 10:46 am

    I have a serious question for you, Jeff, and this isn’t meant as snark. Why do you repeat the same jokes and observations on Twitter?

    Reply
  14. tiff says

    November 16, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Socks?

    Reply
  15. Limey says

    November 16, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    I’m waiting for the Official Review of the new Burger King Big King.

    Reply
  16. Alex says

    November 16, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    left shoe, right shoe, right sock, left sock…

    While I don’t take fridays off, with 5 weeks of vacation to burn each year, I take mondays off. Much more relaxing than taking fridays off I find.
    Lieu time, I accumulate at an alarming rate. It also affords me the oppertunity to practically come and go as I please from the job.

    Reply
  17. madz1962 says

    November 16, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    Left sock, right sock. Shoes get jammed on all Willy nilly. The gal I work with we both decided on Friday’s we are alternating leaving early. Friday’s leaving at 4:00 sounds good.

    Reply
  18. ron says

    November 16, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    I had 8 weeks of vakay , co workers hated me calling it that, saved up, the max allowed to carry over
    So when I was allowed to retire, I took all 8 weeks in a row
    That made AMF day 2 months earlier than accual retirement date
    The hint i gave coworkers, on my last day as to what AMF stood for on the calender was, ”The A stands for Adios, up to you to figgure out rest”
    They were not amused, I never been back there since

    Reply
  19. Clueless says

    November 16, 2013 at 8:02 pm

    Same answer as last time. No pattern, however the spirit moves me. Sock, sock, shoe, shoe. Sock, shoe, sock, shoe. Right, left. Left, right. (Have never tried the fireman thing tho, jtb.)

    But the more important question is: do your socks match your clothes? And how about your underwear? I always choose clothing first, then underwear and socks. Maybe it’s just a female issue, but color matters.

    Reply
  20. Vegasrandall says

    November 16, 2013 at 10:26 pm

    I used to navigate oil survey boats. for every week at sea you got three paid days off . guys used to save up six months off with pay.

    Reply
  21. suz says

    November 17, 2013 at 3:27 am

    I put my foot on the opposite knee to put socks and shoes on, so it’s sock, shoe, sock, shoe. That way I only have to lift each foot once…because I’m that lazy.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      November 18, 2013 at 3:27 am

      If you’re going to put your foot on your knee at all, it’s best to put it on the opposite knee.

      jtb

      Reply
  22. T-STORM says

    November 18, 2013 at 6:49 am

    Sock, then shoe, what else is left? – Daniel Day Lewis from My Left Foot

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      November 18, 2013 at 11:39 am

      shit! I just snorted! LMAO!!!

      Reply
  23. Rachael Smith says

    November 18, 2013 at 7:04 am

    Oh wow! Hate socks and shoes. I live in flip flops and am barefoot at home. I have some comfy slip on shoes if its really cold. Of course,when i lived in Reno you had to wear boots to get around in the snow,etc.

    Reply
  24. John Smith says

    November 18, 2013 at 10:42 am

    At my age, getting a leg bent and a foot close enough to actually touch it is a feat! (pun intended) Get both the sock and the shoe on that sucker while you have a chance!

    It’s not footwear where I get a little OCD, it nail clipping. Left hand first, thumb to pinkie. Then right hand, thumb to pinkie. Left foot big toe to little, right foot big toe to little. Or just sit back and relax while the little Vietnamese lady takes of all of it.

    Reply
  25. Gretchen in WV says

    November 18, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Having 3 teenagers, I am becoming quite the expert on the Value Menu at Mickey’D’s.
    What you need to try is a McGangBang. It is the smooshing together of a McDouble and a McChicken and eaten as one sammich. The oldest swears by them. And for a change, you can try a Spicy McChicken with it.
    I couldn’t believe they exist (and they are most certainly not on the menu) but they do, and can almost always be ordered but it is recommended you don’t ask the 60 year old manager for a McGangBang, it is recommended you ask the youngsters.

    Reply

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