Hello Surf Reporters! I hope your day is going well. I’m returning to work in an hour or so, but had two full days away from that place. And man, it was nice. Usually my work/home balance is: I work all the time, and sleep at home. But I resisted social pressure, and took two days off in a row. It was fantastic.
Today’s update is going to be questionable, at best. But I do have a few quick items for you guys.
First of all… I’ve started raiding the archives of the late, not-so-great Suggestaholic site, and moving the stuff I think is worthy to the Surf Report. The first one is an old post about Jean Shepherd. I updated it a bit, and you can read it here.
There were a few other halfway decent things there, and I’ll move them over as time permits.
I completely lost the Suggestaholic domain name a few years ago, and GoDaddy was trying to charge me hundreds of dollars to get it back. But I waited them out, pretended not to be interested, and eventually snagged it again for nine bucks. Hell yeah. The site itself, however, is long-gone. I’ll repost the so-called good stuff at TheWVSR.
Next on my domain name wishlist: mockable dotcom. Oh, I can be verrrrrry patient. I’d also like to have wvsr dotcom, but that one is in use, and probably out of my reach. Oh well.
A few days ago I was looking at the site stats. I used to be fully obsessed with checking them, and would do it multiple times per day. Now? I don’t even think about it. I’m not sure why, but it’s not something that interests me all that much anymore.
But I looked at them recently, and there are some interesting things going on.
Ads vs. Reality is still the most popular page on the site, except for the homepage. But two relatively new pages receive an inordinate amount of traffic, month after month. This one, and this one. Both receive a semi-shitload of visitors, as a result of Google searches. The Bill Burr piece also gets a fair number of comments.
I had no idea. Apparently I need to start putting more names of celebrities in my headlines? Those two updates are among the most popular pages on the entire Surf Report site, and have been for months. Crazy.
Over the past few days I’ve been answering interview questions from my friend Mark Maynard. He’s doing a series at his blog called The Untold History of Zines, and has interviewed three of us old-school zinesters so far. It’s a great idea, and I look forward to reading more of them.
My interview was posted last night, and I think it turned out fairly well. There are some embarrassing photos, along with some embarrassing stories. Please check it out. It’s a long, detailed interview. And if you’re interested in zine history, you’ll want to read the two previous entries, as well.
Finally, I’d like to get some reports from the motherland, about the chemical spill. Holy shitknuckles! Days on end with no water? Tell us what’s going on down there. How are you holding up? It seems like things are finally improving a bit. What was the most surprising pain in the ass? Please bring us up to date. And good luck, my friends! Hopefully it will be over soon.
For a Question, I’d like to know what sounds drive you up the wall. I hate any unnecessary mouth sounds: lip-smacking, teeth-sucking, teeth-clacking, etc. But what about you? What sounds cause your whole body to go rigid? Use the comments link below.
And I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!
Bill in WV says
Freedom Industries is screwed. WV American Water might be as well. Let’s all get lawyer’d up and drink this Jaegermeister-tasting water !!
The water situation sucks. It’s quite a stink . . the water and us. Probably the worst part are all the tough guys bragging about how they’ve been drinking and showering and nothing’s fallen off yet, so what’s the matter with the rest of you?? That and once the crisis ends, I’m certain things will go back to business as usual, that is to say Business Can Do No Wrong and anyone who says different hates America. It’s been a long week.
Keep up not working on your days off.
The reason they always seem to need you when you should be off is because they’ve grown accustomed to having you available.
Keep taking your natural days off and they will grow accustomed to waiting for your standard work hours.
Ha! I live in St Albans.
I’ve filled and emptied my pool three times in the past week.
The ambulance chasers are already running ads in the paper.
I have read that nearly 200, 000 people left WV between 1985-1990.
Richard Brautigan was born in, and spent his youth in my home town of Tacoma, Washington, and included stories of Tacoma in several of his books, most prominently “Revenge of the Lawn”. As I pivot my chair to the right, I can see seven or eight first editions of Brautigan works. I read them all in the 70s, and a few like, “A Confederate General from Big Sur” have stayed with me as a pleasant early-life memory. Some of his writing seems a little sappy now (although much of it holds up), but at the time it was real as a dime.
Steve in WV says
Nearly everyone that I know in the “zone” have largely ignored the water ban. They won’t drink the water, but then again, they wouldn’t drink tap water before the ban.
Things are improving. However, Erin Brockovich is in town. She has some kind of meeting tonight at the auditorium in Charleston. She’s going to stir the pot and who the hell knows what’ll happen after she gets everyone fired up about nothing.
The “water crisis” was, as is the norm, waaayy over hyped.
The chemical that leaked is used to “wash” coal. According to EPA regs it can then be dumped, simply dumped.
Water around these parts generally tastes and smells crappy anyway, so tap water is fer washin’ and that’s it.
It also should be mentioned that I am one of those total nut job survivalists, so I had plenty of water already in my sooper secret tactical bunker right next to the LAWS rockets, grenades and 800 pound stash of gummy bears.
The only inconvenience is filling the tub with buckets for bathing. That didn’t effect me personally though as I had already had my January bath before all the fun started.
I hate the lip smacking too. Earlier on some shitty morning news program a guy cooked up some devil bugs and risotto and the guy was eating it and miked. Bleah.
Also the sound they decided beer sound like when it pours on tv and radio. I can’t stand it.
I hate the sound of Steve Miller and Bonjovi.
I’m not a fan of ANY unnecessary noise. Don’t moan when you yawn, don’t tap on shit, don’t clap for no fucking reason. Just be quiet around me.
I can’t stand excessive throat clearing.
Billy Joel says
Most things bug me.
Joey Jo Jo says
That Bill Burr clip is maybe the funniest short snippet of standup I’ve ever seen, so I understand that. The Johnny Wadd visitors just like big cocks.
lew in bama says
Teeth scraping on a fork
Gum popping or smacking
candy wrappers in church
soup, or any other hot liquid, sipping
grunting at the gym (ewww)
high pitch girly talk
These are a few of my LEAST favorite things.
Anyone sniffling snot up their booger chute. For the love of God, get a tissue and blow.
A baby crying in distress. Not hunger as is a normal sound but really shrieking in pain or sickness. You may as well just go ahead and stab me repeatedly in the heart it is that sad.
The goddamn coyotes at 4:00 AM when they’re going in for the kill. First the low groan, then the howl, then the high pitched yipping PLUS the sound of whatever it is they are slaughtering.
That BEEP BEEP BEEP sound of a truck backing up. Fuck it, just take a chance and hope whatever it is you’re alerting just moves the hell out of the way so you don’t run it over.
The sound of TV – or your shitty music – while I’m trying to work.
The mouth-sound that gets me is crunching. It doesn’t set me on edge- it all but pushes me over the edge. I simply can-NOT stand/tolerate it. I have mentally threatened to get a ballpeen hammer and/or pair of Visegrip pliers to remove the teeth of crunchers so they can never torture anyone else (especially me) ever again.
You were in great form in that interview, Jeff…well done. 🙂
I cannot stand to hear people chew. Any eating noises drive me nuts. That Kit Kat commercial with lots of crunching and “mmm”ing just sends me over the edge.
After years as a nurse, I also can’t stand the sound when someone uses suction on a patients airway. The suck followed by the rattle of phlegm in the tube just gives me a full body shiver. I can’t take the sound of surgical scissors in tissue, either. Hearing an episiotomy (and it does make a noise) just about makes me faint.
John Holmes would not only drink and bath with West Virginia water he would stir gallons of kool-aid without using his hands as a public service during this time of crisis.
“Bath” as a verb – is that a WV thing? Because I’ve only ever heard it in north central Pennsylvania. Just wondering.
There was a water shortage in Charleston …. starting to come back on but not at my location yet. Showers in chemical water have happened but I am immune since I grew up in Dunbar in the 1960’s. At that time the water came from Nitro and got all the crap from Dupont all the way down to Institute before hitting the water plant. Chemicals are in my blood already.
IMPORTANT – There has never been a beer shortage during the four days.
Gov. Earl Bob says things are getting better.
Well I can’t read. But based on the images on popular posts, I’d say this blog is about angry blurry comedians, fast food, and a guy who has a package everyone wants to touch. Close enough?
Dead on. Welcome aboard.
The worst thing for me were the news reports of bad behavior on Thursday when the “Do Not Use” order went out. Cheese and Rice people this ain’t a Katrina.
By Saturday the valley was awash in bottled water. My dogs had rain water and I brushed my teeth with Mt. Dew big deal.
Kudos to the National Guard, FEMA and the local Retailers for their quick response.
Only 87% of us!?
I have horrible ringing in both ears and have become very sensitive to loud sounds. We were at a crowded restaurant/diner for lunch Sunday. A teenage girl and her parents were sitting in a booth right next to our table. Parents on one side, teen on the other. She was making herself at home with her feet up on the booth bench, reclining against the wall, reading a book to her parents in a voice that would break the sound barrier. They had finished their meals and casually sat there listening to this little freak while a two dozen people were waiting for tables. I honestly thought we were going to have to leave because her voice was piercing my eardrum. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. For chrissakes!!! Go home for your home school reading lesson. And by the way, u spoiled little ingrate, other people will be sitting in that booth. Get your goddamn feet off the seat and sit up like a human being!
The one noise I cannot tolerate is a licking dog. Not incredibly loud but incredibly maddening.
Miss Q says
This has nothing to do with any question, but holy shit! at that picture.
Very talented indeed!
Billy Joel says
I don’t get it. There’s no paper in that typewriter!
Miss Q says
Astute observation! What does it say about me that I hadn’t noticed?
I, for one, try at all times to maintain a low center of gravity. Of course, this includes a certain amount of weight training. Gotta keep those old thighs bulged out.
Jersey Scott says
Really liked your interview with Mark ( after I post this I’m going back to his site to read the first 2 parts. ) I got into zines just as they were peaking, I suppose. Never did one of my own but often contributed to others, including one of your faves, “Scaredy Cat Stalker”. I’ve even got copies of most of Mark’s “:Crimewave”. I don’t know how I managed to miss out on the print version of WVSR back in the day but I’ve been with you online for years now — like to think I’m one of the few, the proud, the 87%.
cross lanes curmudgeon says
I learned a few survival tricks from the Watergeddon episode here in the Kanawha (grossly mis-pronounced by many cable news talking heads) Valley.
1. Those 2-3 gallon spray tanks that you use for killing bugs or sealing your deck, when filled with FEMA water heated up on your stove, made excellent shower substitutes.
2. You can keep a supply of hot water always at the ready by pouring a half-dozen bottles of bottled water in the crock pot.
3. Both local and national newsies have an uncanny ability to ask the same questions over and over again at press conferences.(Do we have a timeline yet for when water service will be restored?)
4. Caps from discarded half-liter water bottles hurt like hell when you step on the while walking barefoot.
Cranky in Charleston says
Took my first shower in three days in the very strong cherry cough syrup smelling water. It’s a horrible situation and has really opened my eyes. I can tell you that everyone I’ve talked to reports they will not be drinking that water anytime soon.