Toney and I made our triumphant return to one of our favorite watering holes on Sunday. Here I am enjoying a Wallenpaupack Largemouth IPA at Backyard Ale House in Scranton. We had to make reservations online, and were allotted a one-hour block o’ time to eat, drink and be merry. It was great to be out and about again. It had been three months and one day, according to our calculations.
We had the 4 pm to 5 pm block, and enjoyed two beers each and an order of their fantastic homemade chips and sour cream and onion dip. We love that place and are sincerely glad they’re back. I took a picture there a few months ago, before the world turned upside down, that is one of my all-time favorites. Check it out. That dude was out there enjoying a smoke. We could see out, but he couldn’t see in. It’s like something out of a DEVO video.
Anyway, we might eventually be able to just drop in and leave when we want. Imagine that level of luxury! Have you been able to return to any favorite bars or restaurants? Our section of Pennsylvania is slow to reopen, so most of you are probably way ahead of us.
Yesterday I was reading some crap on Reddit about what people wear to bed. That website is a giant time-suck and sometimes I wish I’d never discovered it. It’s destroying my life. In any case, there’s a page on there where people ask questions, very similar to our Question o’ the Day, and thousands and thousands of people weigh in. On this one, people were talking about what they sleep in, and there’s a large percentage of people who claim to sleep nude. I find that to be ridiculous, but whatever. This comment made me laugh, and I thought I’d share.
By the way, Reddit has pages — known as subreddits — for nearly every subject you can think of, and lots that you’d never consider even if you were in the throes of Typhoid Fever. Like any of these, for instance. It’s fantastic, really. But it’ll ruin your life. What are your favorite subreddits? I keep up with baseball news there, read comments about TV shows I’m watching and podcasts I’m listening to, and also cool shit like this. It’s a bottomless pit. Great! And extremely dangerous.
Speaking of TV shows I’m watching, are you a fan of Alone? Season 7 just started and the first episode was craziness. The premise, in case you don’t know, is they leave 10 people in some godforsaken area of the world completely alone. They film themselves, there are no camera crews or anything of the sort. They’re usually dropped 10 miles apart, or thereabouts, so they never encounter each other. And whoever survives the longest wins a half million bucks. This year is a little different, but not much. It’s brutal, and fascinating. I’ve watched every episode and here’s generally how it goes:
- Vicious predators are curious and drop in to “visit.” Eventually they just accept the humans as part of the community and leave them alone.
- Food becomes an issue and some of the people begin to starve.
- The ones who endure the first two phases start to lose their everlovin’ shit because they’re alone and tired and undernourished.
Oh, it’s great TV! And you know how long I’d last? That’s right, zero minutes. Because I wouldn’t get off the boat. Funk dat. Some guy quit during Season 2 (I think) on the first day, and he made it longer than I would’ve. Here’s a shot from the first episode of the new season. Dude found half-a-boat in the woods and turned it into a hot tub. No way I’d submerge my goods in that tepid basin of filth. It’s a good way to pick up one of those peehole parasites I read about on Reddit. Know what I’m sayin’? Do you have any thoughts on Alone? Please share.
And what streaming services do you subscribe to? There are dozens of them now, and we still only have the original three (?): Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime. Do you have any of the others? I don’t need more, but am always intrigued.
I suffered the granddaddy of all leg cramps last week. Oh, I’ve had plenty of them during my ridiculous life. But this one was in a different category, and my leg was sore for several days afterward. It was impossible pain, and would not subside for a long time. I was hurtled, with no advance warning, into a world of pure anguish. It was bullshit. And whenever I tell somebody about it they say, “Yeah, I’ve had those.” It’s highly unsatisfactory.
Also, there’s this, which makes my soul ache. <sigh>
And I need to go to work now. How’s it so freaking late so early in the day??
Have a great one, my friends.
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You need to rename the Question o’ the Day to the Question o’ the Month!
I sleep naked, in fact I have trouble sleeping if I’m not. I find it odd that some people get to the end of day, then, before going to sleep, get changed into a new outfit. What the heck is that? I also think it must be good for the equipment to be set free for 8 hours.
I’ve always been a nudie. None of the shameless hussies I tend to run with seem to think anything of it. Thank God for shameless hussies!!!
I follow various British subreddits, Old School Cool, Today I Learned, Pirates baseball, some TV show subreddits, WV, and Morgantown. I’ve been on there over 6 years now. I can get lost in Ask Reddit. There are some amazing stories on there sometimes.
Netflix and Amazon Prime. HBO Max comes free with my phone plan. Tried Apple TV for a while but found it weakly populated with things I liked.
I was tickled to find myself mentioned positively in a sub-reddit years ago, listing people in my field who give great lectures to students.
Have not watched Alone. Currently the fam is big into How to Get Away With Murder, but I can’t get into it.
I sleep nekkid, with underwear, with underwear and T-shirt, or full force PJ’s, even flannels, depending on the temperature, which I long ago stopped arguing about where to set in my own damn house. Too many fights and to go through that horseshit just before bed is cruel and unusual punishment indeed. So I simply adjust and catch the Z’s.
Brixx is a popular pizza chain here in NC with good beer choices and often great beer specials. We returned to our local one last week for the first time since mid-March. No time limit. We sat outside, sharing a sammich and downing pint after pint. There was a nice warm breeze and we wound up staying for three hours it was so refreshing.
Naked. Hanging by my ankles in an inversion rack. Like a bat. Except 6′ tall, 215 lbs and my junk dead center in prime viewing area.
I just watched Community first time since it was on TV (And Yahoo TV). Hilarious show – although Season 6 was not so great. Oddly enough I had one of those leg cramps this morning. I only have Netflix and Amazon.
I’ve been back to my old watering hole twice now. They have some rules: outdoor seating only; every other picnic table; 90 minute time limit; probably some others. But it’s good to see my peeps again.
I have Amazon Prime and my buddy’s Netflix password. Not much TV-watching going on around here.
My favorite reddit these days is https://www.reddit.com/r/AVNightmares/ – it’s pictures of installations gone horribly wrong. Hanging projectors with baling wire, that sort of thing.
And your guy at the Backyard Ale House is a plausible middle-aged Booji Boy.
About time you got back to your primary job of entertaining me.
Early in life underwear, Later during my prime naked. Now underwear.
You pervert for asking.
I understand that I don’t get to complain about not seeing an update for a lunar month, then complaining about the Questions in the update that finally comes. So I hope nobody confuses my Bad Attitudes with complaints about the Questions. I’m Old and Grouchy. Sad.
I’ve been paying for Prime since it was in its prime. Free shipping. Run the numbers. Now it turns out that they have some TV programs. Not Justified. Not Deadwood. Cocksuckers.
I have five to ten years left on my body’s warranty — I hope for the latter but it’s unlikely. So I spend a small amount of time thinking about how I want to spend that amount of time. There are ocean beaches and easy-to-scale hills and sunsets and card games and lots of laughter on the list, but watching TV is way down toward the bottom. They don’t hand out tombstones to people who want their ashes spread with a compressed air cannon, but if they did I wouldn’t want mine to say, “He liked to watch.” Nonetheless, I’d make time for Justified or Deadwood were they on Prime. Cocksuckers.
When I was young and looked like a middleweight with out-of-state plates, and had a body worth seeing nekked, I slept nekked. When that 25 minute chapter of my life was exhausted I was too, so I switched to sleeping shorts, which I still wear, and old oversize Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen concert t-shirts. Sleeping shorts are very soft cotton shorts (with a drawstring) that end up around your ankles if you try to run or walk fast, which is handy because the Lasix I take requires me to head for the head every hour or so, and it’s handy to have the shorts in the right position when I get there. But I want my money back on the t-shirts: they’re no longer oversize.
And I stopped collecting the Dylan shirts when he hit his Christian period: not because the music sucked, although it did, but because Mike Bloomfield became unavailable (see also: Tombstone Blues).
I guess you gotta serve SOMEBODY.
John
“middleweight with out-of-state plates” – I hope you don’t mind if I steal that one.
Malcolm, I keep forgetting that I’m older than dirt. I lifted that language from a Dylan song from 1976, assuming everybody would recognize it and associate it with the other three Dylan references in my comment. I keep forgetting that most of the population wasn’t even born then. Anyway, you’re sort of in the intellectual property business so you’ll understand you’ll either have to say “Copyright 1975 by Ram’s Horn Music” every time you use it or risk the vengeance of Dylan’s phalanx of attorneys. Cave seminiverbius . . . jtb
Alfred Bello had a partner and he had a rap for the cops
Him and Arthur Dexter Bradley were just out prowlin’ around
He said, “I saw two men runnin’ out, they looked like middleweights
They jumped into a white car with out-of-state plates”
Copyright © 1975 by Ram’s Horn Music; renewed 2003 by Ram’s Horn Music
PS – Sorry about my rusty Latin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm6xCwNKtnQ
It seems that many of us are at least old-adjacent, so it didn’t occur to me that anyone wouldn’t get the reference. I guess I’m only a little younger than dirt.
Latin… the first class I ever failed. Fond memories, ‘n’ shit.
I once dated a rusty Latin. Also fond memories . . . jtb
. . . and I want to know how madz is doing. Do any Reporters know her IRL? She’s a fine woman and deserves to avoid this shit-disease.
John
I’m here! I’m here! Thank you for asking – I’m doing just dandy. Seriously, Beloved and I are fine.
Jeff – very nice photo!
Funny, I just bought a brand new set of pajamas. I haven’t washed them yet so I can’t give you a full report if I like them or not. In the winter I wear flannel PJs. Summer, I switch to cotton or just a huge t-shirt.
Now to delve into Reddit. My Lord, why have I never done this before???
Everyone stay safe.
I’m not letting this Jeffpost die until he posts again. I’m just going to keep fishing the deep water and trying to entice you to join me. Jeff is a treasure; his interest has waned, but not his talent as a writer when he digs deep.
In the context of a Dylan motif, here is a link to the Rolling Stone review of Dylan’s first album of new material in eight years. I’ve not heard most of the cuts, and as a ’60s era Dylan fan I try to steer clear of the growling, gasping voice and just listen again to Highway 61 Revisited or Blond on Blond, or even Freewheelin’, but at 79 the man is still out there working and will be back on the Neverending Tour when pandemic permits.
San Francisco statute requires Rolling Stone to give Dylan favorable reviews for whatever he records. Exceptions like “What is this shit” just highlight the norm. Nonetheless, not reading a Rolling Stone Dylan album review violates every precept the survivors of the 60s hold dear. So here it is. If anybody has actually listened to the album I’d really be interested in your thoughts. I think others might be too. Yeah, maybe not, but I am.
John
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/bob-dylan-rough-rowdy-ways-1015086/
So I missed what the media people call the demo. Here, for your reading pleasure is the Rolling Stone 2019 review of the first album by Billie Eilish, technically Billie Eilish Pirate Baird O’Connell.
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/review-billie-eilish-when-we-all-fall-asleep-where-do-we-go-814754/
I don’t have anything to say about this fine album, only partly because I’ve not heard a single note of it; I do wish her well — I understand the music business eats people alive and spits out their shoes. I have no idea whether Ms/Mrs/Mr/Doc Eilish wears shoes. Dylan wears shoes, but he’s 61 years older than Billie. Live and be well . . . jtb
Aiming to be comment #21 because it’s divisible by 3 and 7 and those are two of my favorite numbers.
Simple joys because we moved to Texas recently, Covid numbers are rising here, I need a haircut, etc.
Clue,
You omitted to say that 21 is the 9th number in the standard Fibonacci Sequence with seeds (0,1). In short, 21 is a “Fibonacci number” and 22 ain’t. You also failed to note that when the metadata becomes more interesting than the data, it’s time to reexamine the value of the data.
Also, I have moved on in my hair styling from Harpo Marx to Karl Marx:
https://www.google.com/search?q=karl+marx&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj-3P-yrZvqAhWYrp4KHWMsArEQ_AUoAXoECBgQAw&biw=1920&bih=935#imgrc=5dk-fo_45QCwXM
Unfortunately I couldn’t find any decent album reviews for Karl.
jtb
So now, with my mask and gloves, instead of looking like a physical comedian about to rob a convenience store, I look like a communist about to rob a convenience store.
All hail Marx and Lennon.
Lest anyone think my life isn’t full of excitement even though I don’t watch much TV, I’ve found myself tempted lately by the clickbait at the bottom of both shipwrecked sites (e.g., The Straight Dope) and semi-active sites (e.g., CNN).
So far I’ve been able to resist clicking; even “How to reduce sagging jowls” (I’ve had a beard for nearly 50 years; how the hell would I know if I have them or whether they were reduced?) and “25 Celebs who are gay that you probably didn’t know” (with the siren-like call of its multiple dangling modifiers) haven’t tempted me seriously. But recently a “new” clickbait mousetrap has appeared, i.e., “Try this if you have an enlarged prostate.” It shows an ineptly drawn young! man seemingly writhing on the floor holding his ankles and exhibiting what appears to be a grimace. I’m unclear on whether the mousetrappers are intending to depict the “cure” for an enlarged prostate or the cause, but my real question is How the hell do you know whether you have an enlarged prostate? Nobody sees a doc these days without a compound fracture of a fairly important bone unless you have a dry cough and just flew in from Nicaragua.
Does prostate enlargement have symptoms? Do my testicles begin to feel heavy? Does my ass sag more than usual? How do I know whether I should undertake this cure (or cause)? But nope, I’m not clicking.
By the way, what is the important message that clairvoyant lady from the 16th century has for me and how did the website I’m not visiting get a color photograph of her?
jtb
Try This 1 Weird Old Trick Of A Flat Belly.
clickbait . . .
“If you can recognize these 10 movie stars from their high school yearbook photos, you have an IQ of 140”
“This is Janis Joplin at 20 — you should see her now”
“These are the 20 credit cards you should be carrying if you have excellent credit”
Fuck it, Dude. If this is the Last Column, I’m gonna jump in the pool and splash a little.
I stumbled across a piece of clickbait that I had to read three or four times to understand. OK, maybe everybody else in the known universe will understand it as intended right out of the gate, but I’m a little slow. The lure has a fair lass shot from below and at three quarters holding (and speaking into) what turns out to be a WWE microphone. The bold text reads, “What Are Your Favorite Wrestlers Up to Now?”
My brain misfired on the first word, and I read the question as, “Name your favorite WWE performers so far.” Obviously, had the WWE wanted to ask that, they’d have used the word “who” instead of the word “what”, but clickbait has its own lexicon and grammar (and evidently capitalization rules). In any case, I had just been reading a webpage about how gravity moves through quantum space (for amateurs) and QM always gets me a little high. So I was thinking, “Are you asking me to compare the phony-baloney “wrestlers” I’ve seen so far with the p-b-w I’ve yet to see? How the hell should I know?”
So, yeah, I finally figured out that they were luring gossip on “performers” featured on WWE telecasts. But I like the other question better. Who are your favorite rasslers? I know it’s not hip to believe in only two genders these days, but I kinda do, so, it seems to me that most females think “professional wrestling” is the bunk, and many males, especially of the generation that came after mine (the “WWF” generation) at least enjoyed it as a kid.
And I think that’s the key. People like me who identify male and will never understand the concepts associated with gender fluidity, like and remember the wrestlers we watched when we were 14 (if we have any opinion about rasslin’). I can’t think of anything else that happens at 14, so rasslin’ must be it (there’s something just outside the edge of my mind about 14, but it’s probably just my confirmation Bible).
My favorite was good-guy rassler Billy White Wolf, a genuine American Indian, who utilized the “tomahawk chop” to bring his opponents to their knees, but only after they had somehow disoriented the referee and caused him to look into the darkness of the 15th row of seats while the bastard pulled a bullwhip or 12″ sap out of his wrestling shorts and pounded on the noble Indian. When Billy was really pissed he used the “double tomahawk chop”. It was a thing to behold. I somehow knew then that girls probably couldn’t understand the pantomime, and 55 years later I still think that, knowing also that exceptions abound.
Forty years later, I discovered that Billy White Wolf’s birth name was Adnan Bin Abdul Kareem Ahmed Alkaissy El Farthie, that he was born in Baghdad, and that he was a school chum of Saddam Hussein. For a minute I wondered what an American Indian tribe was doing in Baghdad. Then I remembered that professional wrestling is theater, and Rule One is that nothing is as it seems. In fact, I learned that Billy White Wolfe had left the Great Pacific Northwest (we were told he’d retired to a sweat lodge) and moved back east and become Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissey, bad-guy rassler and manager of Sgt. Slaughter and Col. Mustafa. For a guy whose people prevailed at Greasy Grass, the man was peculiarly attracted to military rank.
When you’re a kid, people are either kids or adults, and it never occurred to me that when I was an old man, Billy White Wolf might still walk the Earth, hunting birds on the wing and sampling berries and fruit from virgin forests, but damn, he’s still with us. In fact, he’s only eleven years older than me, and living in Hopkins, Minnesota. The son of a bitch is going to outlive me. Nonetheless, it’s somehow a little comforting to know that with all the electile disfunction in this country now, Billy White Wolf is only a two-day drive away, waiting, silently, to unleash his double tomahawk chop on the bad guys.
John
Fun subReddits
r/abandonedporn
r/aww
r/assholedesign
r/askahistorian
r/beamazed
r/bettereveryloop
r/cringe
r/densegifs
r/expectationsvsreality
r/funny
r/gifsthatkeepongiving
r/hmmm
r/holdmybeer
r/holdmycosmo
r/holdmyfries
r/lifeprotips
r/mildlyinfuriating
r/mildlyinteresting
r/mildlyvandalized
r/oldschoolcool
r/therewasanattempt
r/thewaywewere
r/thisismylifenow
r/todayilearned
r/wellthatsucks
r/whitepeopletwitter
r/whyweretheyfilming
r/youshouldknow
Jeez, I need to spend less time on Reddit :o\
As I walk through this wicked world
Searchin’ for light in the darkness of insanity
I ask myself, “Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred and misery?”
And each time I feel like this inside
There’s one thing I wanna know . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy3LpV0THB0
Stay well,
jtb