This is bullshit already. I’m starting to get this crap from every direction. At some point I’m just going to throw in the towel and embrace it. But not yet. It’s still new enough to piss me off and ruin my day. Everybody tells me not to worry about it and “just enjoy the discount.” I think that’s the exact wrong advice. Once you stop being offended it’s over. At some point my parents surrendered to it, but they fought valiantly for years. They didn’t just roll over at the first sign of trouble and start adding up their 40 cent discounts. No, “don’t worry about it” is horseshit. And Sue can pack it.
Also, check this out. This is the person Great Clips has on their website representing a senior citizen. Look at that guy! He makes my blood boil. Can’t you just see him at the block party talking about his investments, European golf vacations and extreme home improvements? And anyway, below is what people in their 20s actually see when they encounter anyone over the age of 45. Not Mr. Jauntily Glancing Over His Shoulder Douchebuckle Jones. Man, I’m getting all fired up.
As you might be able to tell, I’m working through some things. Heh. As mentioned last time, I’m now publishing a monthly column about various aspects of aging, from my particular point of view. Check it out at Substack. You can subscribe to receive each new column in your email, just visit the site every month, or ignore the whole thing altogether. It’s up to you. …Senior Haircut! Boy, that really smokes my halibut.
— Check out these photos taken by a dude with a cell phone, following the recent tornado devastation in Kentucky. That top one inside the theater, with the screen gone, is one of the best photographs I’ve seen in a while. That is amazing. Unforgettable, really.
I’m fairly terrified of tornadoes, always have been. I was in some kind of storm as a youngling, at Pirateland Campground in Myrtle Beach, where some campers were turned over and awnings were ripped clean off others, and sent sailing deep into North Carolina or somesuch. Scary! And when I was 9 the city of Xenia, Ohio was basically wiped off the map. It was in the news for days, and nobody could stop talking about it. All of that adds up to a deep-seated possibly irrational fear. Do you have anything like that?
— Have you read Larry David’s new piece about Christmas? Check it out. Man, that guy’s grumpier and more curmudgeonly than I am. Love it! I laughed out loud at the part about buying gifts (never without resentment). Hilarious. Reminds me of this all-time classic of misanthropy and bitterness. It’s one of the funniest books ever.
— Here’s a holiday classic from the Surf Report archives. The Terrifying Twenty: Santa Edition!
— And here are some photos I took while visiting the Christmas Story house in Cleveland a few years ago. This is a then and now comparison. To tell you the truth, I wouldn’t recommend a pilgrimage to that place. It takes roughly seven minutes to tour the house, and the neighborhood is shabby and fairly run down. There’s a big-ass gift shop though, if you’re into that kind of thing. Steve bought a full-sized leg lamp for something like $200. I think I purchased a postcard. Have you been there? What did you think?
I need to call it day, my friends. I hope you guys have a wonderful holiday. I’m just looking to get it into the rearview mirror, and push on toward Spring Training (if there is such a thing this year). In any case, I hope it’s pleasant for all of us.
I’ll see you again soon!
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I was just in CVS and the girl behind the counter kept calling me sir.
Yeah – growing up in Cincy in the 70’s – the tornado outbreak in Spring ’74 pretty much fkd me up for life. Thing is – if I saw one coming I’d probably try to get it on video instead of taking shelter. Hell – when one went by my house in June 1980 (like 1/4-mile away), I tried to get it on film!
https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/50872793_10215777627006447_4575157832676016128_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=cdbe9c&_nc_ohc=7ccE_cRoq38AX_xLruw&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&oh=00_AT_r8bLPfEPZ0ZOy62RnZvWCWQrMSKe8W0a_REAp8vC8Aw&oe=61E77386
The only hell I’ve gotten since I turned 59 three weeks ago is from my wife. She made some crack calling me “old man”. I honestly did not care for it.
Jaunty McDouchebuckle looks more like a high school senior than an actual “senior,” as they’re called nowadays. OK, maybe college.
Merry Christmas Jeff. I guess we’re not supposed to say that nowadays, but what the heck.
It’s Christmas Day. You’re not required to say “Merry Christmas” as some parts of Judaism understandably don’t, but Merry Christmas makes a lot more sense today than Happy Easter. What the hell?
jtb
Sorry Jack,
I was never schooled in Esparanto. However, an appropriate reply to your German salute would be a good old Southern bless your heart!
Happy Boxing Day.
I don’t think they give discount haircuts to women. This needs a full blown investigation.
Hope it’s not too late for a holiday hint: leave the decorations in the attic where they belong and Christmas clean up will go way faster. I think turning 74 has instilled me with new wisdom, but no senior discount at the hair salon.
Clue, it’s never too late for a holiday hint. I store my (fake) jewel-encrusted decorations in the basement in case it rains. Some of them have been in the family for the better part of a generation.
And I am reluctant to ask the lady who’s been cutting my hair for a decade and a half whether she charges me less or more than her younger swinging clientele. I’m afraid she’ll refer me to the grouch clause in my clipping agreement. Ah, c’mon. I have fewer hairs to cut than I did during the second Bush administration.
John
I was in the hospital yesterday with my mum (90). It seemed like the ‘doctors’ were only there to get their boy scout badges for orthopedic surgery. Surreal experience. Felt like David Lynch was filming it! Kept on wanting to ask the kid to get a real doctor. Bit my tongue though.
It’s healing up.
Guid luck tae yer mum. Mines learned sassenach fae a glaswegian ‘n’ ah lassy her.
John
When we die we’ll be surprised that we were ever afraid of it. Remember me saying this, when you die.
I use the same hot young hair girl for years now. There’s no senior discounts or talk of me being old, at least not while I’m around. I get “sir” a lot but that’s probably because of the pistol on my side, I’m thinking.