Hello Surf Reporters! I hope your weekends were pleasant. Mine was OK. Thanks for asking. I got to spend most of Saturday with the older boy, and that was good. And nothing bad happened, but I didn’t sleep very well. I rarely sleep through the night these days. I have a lot of stuff on my mind — some positive and some negative — and can’t seem to turn off the IMAX movie playing inside my tiny Duke head. IT NEVER STOPS!!
But, we don’t need to go into that. We all have our burdens, right? I don’t need to dump my crap on you guys; I’m no Dave Matthews.
However, I am going to need your help with something in October. It’s a very important month for me, and you folks play a part in it. For reasons I’ll share with you later, the page views at this website need to be high next month. Higher than normal.
So… if you read something that you especially enjoy here, please share it at Facebook or Twitter. Or even Reddit or StumbleUpon. Most of this is on me, of course, and I’m planning to work my riffled ass off in October. But I also need for you guys to help spread my updates (and bunker pics) around the internet, as much as possible. It’s super-important, and could even lead to me sleeping through the night someday soon. As always, I appreciate you guys, and your continued support.
And speaking of that, I will have an update on the t-shirts soon. It’s one of the many problems in my life at the moment. I’ve had two places refuse the job, and it’s all become a big cluster fornication. But everybody will receive their shirts, and they’ll be a thing of beauty. I’m sorry it’s gone this way, and will never do them again. I thought it was a good idea, and was WAAAAY off. God, how I miss the late, great T-Shirt Lady…
Well, actually she’s not dead, I don’t think. She’s just not doing shirts anymore. Wonder if I could coax her out of retirement, for one final score? Like a master criminal who’s trying to go straight, in one of those old movies? “You’re the best, Louie! The best!!”
Fukkit, let’s move on.
On Saturday the older boy and I visited a college an hour or so from here. Toney was planning to also go, but felt the youngling and I needed to spend the day together. We had some talking to do, and got ‘er done.
The campus we toured was really pretty, and they offer everything he’s looking for. And, comparatively speaking, it’s inexpensive. You know, but still A LOT of money. Holy shit. I’ll probably end up with a bay window in the side of my stomach, before it’s all over.
While there, I coined a new phrase — inspired by a professor we spoke with: gaysian. Thank you, I’m very proud of my accomplishments… However, when I got home I Googled it, and learned many other people thought of it before me. It was a sad moment.
Later the same night I was pontificating about some sort of ridiculousness, while standing in the middle of the living room. And I thought I’d really done it this time. While spewing my nonsense, I came up with the phrase “disastrophe.” That HAD to be a new one, I thought. Unfortunately… not. What’s the story, man? I’m inventing phrases all willy-nilly, but getting cock-blocked again and again.
Have you ever successfully invented a new word or phrase? Please share. I think I’ve come up with a few, but who knows? Urban Dictionary is a full-blown dream crusher.
I think I’m going to visit my parents during the last week of October. I haven’t been to West Virginia in way too long, and only see my folks about once a year. I need to make more of an effort; my dad turned 72 last week, and they (and I) won’t be around forever.
So, I took a cuppa two tree vacation days, and plan to drive to the greater Dunbar area alone. It’ll do me some good, I think, to have all that time with my thoughts and Van Halen CDs. It’ll be therapy, as much as anything else. So, at least I have a road trip on the docket. I like having something to look forward to, something to break up the daily slog.
Before I call it a day here… one of our neighbors told Toney that bears have been spotted around here, rooting through trashcans. Bears! What in the pearl-handled hell?! We don’t live in a wildlife refuge; Mutual of Omaha doesn’t sponsor our world. There’s a Taco Bell right over there.
What unusual animals have you encountered near your house, through the years? Anything extra-strange? If so, please tell us about it in the comments section below.
And I gotta go, my friends. I’ll see you again tomorrow — October 1. Let’s do this thing!
Have yourselves a great day.
Now playing in the bunker
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Who stole my belly?
There were two Deer in our front yard and the nearest park is quite a way down the street and down the hill. I think they were rooting in the flower bed.
…you mean to look something up on Google later in the day and then when you are in front of the computer, you can’t remember what it was you wanted to look up.
So, I thought I came up with the term Googleheimers…I found out I did not.
Ah Tennent’s Super, Nectar of the Homeless Alcoholic Scots Who Smell of Piss.
We have a semi-pet groundhog. He comes up on our deck for a snack and to annoy our indoor cats.
Put up my goddamn Smoking Fish pictures and I’ll share your links around the world!
Unusual animal: we caught a black widow spider in our front yard. Kept her in a jar until she had a hundred babies who could all escape through the little air holes we put in the lid… then they all died!
Coyotes. Holy hopping Christ on a cracker these little bastards are getting bolder and bolder. Sure I’ve heard them howling for years but now I have two sunning themselves right past the driveway. Now that it’s getting darker earlier, I’m going to get home after work one night only to have my jugular ambushed.
One day we had an enormous snapping turtle meandering across the back field.
Another time a box turtle got into the barn. The shell was gorgeous. I named it “Box Car Willie”.
Oh and I spotted a bobcat and a fox one day. Turkeys, possums, rabbits, deer, skunks.
But those friggin’ coyotes… gotta send the packing.
I once saw a pair of bobcats in my back yard. I wouldn’t have noticed except that the cat was staring out and window and I looked to see what she was looking at. I went outside and took a couple of photos, but once I got about 1/3 of the way across the yard toward them, I realized they’re pretty darned big, so I made sure I didn’t do anything alarming for them. They hung out for several hours, but I’ve never seen them since.
I live in the woods so we have all the typical wildlife. Deer, turkey, coyote, bobcat, skunks, squirrels, possums, rabbits, squirrels, chimpunks, etc. I like the chipmunks best, they make the dog go ape-shit, it is quite amusing.
Our current neighborhood wild animal is a fox.
At previous locations (bear in mind I haven’t lived outside the city limits at any time) I’ve seen, in reverse order:
Opossums and deer
An emu
A snake, another opossum, and a prairie dog
Emu?
Possums, squirrels and the occassional racoon all striving to drive my hounds batshit crazy.
I thought I came up with the phrase “First!”, but then I found that it had already been used here.
Wildlife? Been seeing a lot of children around the neighborhood lately, flying up and down the street on scooters and generally whooping it up, which is new. Some of them are pretty strange but at least they keep the grand kidlets occupied. Thank God for that.
Go give the ALL UPPER CASE GUY a shot. He might actually be good at t-shirts, which means he’ll be inept at other things, like proper typing etiquette.
We live in an apartment complex but there is a little wooded area behind us and one day we were driving through the parking lot and there at the edge of the woods was a giant red fox, he was just lounging on his side without a care in the world. We even stopped the car and rolled the windows down looking at him, he just looked back at us like “dafuq you looking at?” We went home and never saw him again.
The strangest animals I’ve encountered around my house are Scientologists, a handful of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and a few pair or Mormons. Or would that be Mormii?
Deer, turkey, rabbits, raccoon and once a black bear. He was spotted by five or six other people in town that week . We also have a set of red tail hawks that built a nest in one of the trees in our back yard a few years back.
Sunday while watching football I caught something in the corner of my eye cruise across the deck and then heard a loud bang. I looked out to see the male tearing at a dove. A couple of seconds later he was sunning himself on the railing when mama flashed by, picked up the dove and cruised up to the nest.
I live in a built-up area in northern Virginia near DC. It’s an “independent city” with a mayor, police force etc. There are sidewalks, traffic lights, cars, the whole 9.
In early 2001 I heard, then saw, a deer crashing around in my back yard. I started to head out the back door with a 3-foot piece of copper pipe in my hand, but before it was too late the ol’ brain piped up with “What. The fuck. Are you thinking.” I went back inside and a moment later it had leapt into the neighbors’ yard. Problem solved.
Another time I was walking up the driveway and saw one of the neighborhood cats “loafing” on top of the fence, facing away from me. When I got close enough I said “hey kitty” and gave it a pet on the haunch. When it turned around, I saw that it was actually a possum. Woops, sorry.
On at least two separate occasions there have been red foxes strolling down my street.
.
We lived in the same area a mile from the DC line but in 1990. Wolftrap was in listening distance. We noticed the creek was overflowing and found a beaver dam and 2 dens!!
Now we are in NW Arkansas and the daughters Jr high was in lock down because a family of raccoons fell out of the ceiling.
Elizabeth! I’m comin’!
The most interesting animal I’ve seen is a bald eagle. I had to do an actual Three Stooges double take, but yes, it was indeed an actual bald eagle. Then I remembered that we’re actually only a couple of miles from the river (where they actually are…)
Other than that, the usual–foxes, deer, owls, and smarter than the average bear raccoons.
Was driving on kind of a back road last week when an animal I had never seen before sort of lopes across the street in front of me. I googled it and it turned out to be a fisher. Kinda cool. Later realized the road I was on is named Fisher St.
Saw a peacock hanging out with a bunch of turkey’s earlier in the year.
I once saw a dingo by my baby. I curb stomped it.
We live about 20 miles outside Seattle. Have bears and bobcats this year in the neighborhood. Always lots of deer
We have these in the San Antonio / Austin area. I don’t care how tight you think the bottom seal on your front door is, because they sure as hell don’t give a shit.
http://easyscienceforkids.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/giant-centipede.jpg
I’m guessing that the Meat Puppets’ appearance in the “Now Playing in the Bunker” link is somehow related to Marc Maron’s interview with Curt Kirkwood last night. Good interview of a fairly interesting guy; fine music for thirty years.
jtb
We have deer in our yard constantly. Almost close enough to fuck. Either I need to speed up or they need to accept their fate. Try chasing a deer with a boner through the woods. It’s not easy.
The other day I saw a lady walking down the street in a safety vest. She was a strange animal.
Our yard is a spider mecca. I don’t think we have anything dangerous just creepy and some pretty big-ish. I’m trying to get the half secret to stop being such a pussy and not be as afraid of them.
Me and my friend Bryan are the kings of making up words but they probably already exist.
When we lived on Fosdick St in Cincinnati we kept our food away from the other 4 roommates by keeping it on the porch roof which we called the rooferater (winter quarter at school).
And on a similar note I have left fast food in my car for days in the winter time only to determine it still edible (Carby’s).
I used to claim “cock-holster” as my own original creation, but not sure if that’s 100% accurate. I used to participate in a website chat board where the admin, upon my sharing the gem of cockholster with them, set it up so that anytime someones post contained the word mouth, it was automatically replaced with the newer version.
No weird or wild animals near our house, however saw a coyote dodging golf balls at the driving range recently.