Here’s a short play I wrote this morning:
Husband: What? A man’s not allowed to take a dump in his own house?!
Wife: Not in the foyer!
Copyright © 2015 Jeffrey S. Kay
Don’t steal it! If I see this little gem receiving a Tony Award next year, I’m gonna go full-Geragos on humanity.
I have an enormous amount of PTO that I need to use up before the end o’ the year. Well… it’s not quite as enormous as it was a month ago. But, it’s still a considerable amount.
Also: once November gets here, it’ll be somewhere between difficult and impossible to take time off. So, the clock is ticking. My boss told me to take Thursday, Friday, and Monday this week, and enjoy a big honkin’ five-day weekend. That’s not exactly how she put it, but it’s what I heard.
Then, she quickly rescinded Monday. But I’m approaching the midway point on a four-day weekend, and that ain’t too shabby.
I was talking to my mom on Wednesday, while driving to work. She knows I’m taking a lot of time off, and asked if I had anything scheduled for this upcoming weekend. I told her I’m off Thursday and Friday. And she said, in a semi-panicked tone, “You weren’t thinking about coming down here, were you?!”
Wow! That’s the kind of thing that could hurt a person’s feelings. You know, if they weren’t mostly dead inside.
Of course she didn’t mean anything by it; my parents are extremely nice and thoughtful people. I hit the parental lottery with my mom and dad. But, she’s getting to the point where she doesn’t always craft her sentences in a way that takes the other person’s feelings into account. Ya know?
Turns out, another couple is coming for a visit and staying at their house for a few days. That’s why she was concerned I might have plans for a visit. Not a problem. More power to ’em. Pass the beer nuts.
What’s your vacation time situation? Are you allowed to roll it over into the next year? Is there a limit? Do you ever get yourself into a situation where you’re forced to take a shitload of time off, for no other reason than to burn a bunch of hours? It’s crazy.
When I left Warner Home Video I had 500 hours of PTO. That’s where it capped-out. I probably had 700, in reality. Maybe 1000. Who the hell knows? They ended up paying me for all those hours. Then it got all screwed up and we found ourselves in trouble with the IRS, and had to make monthly payments for years on end. Good stuff.
A few minutes ago my phone lit up, all by itself, and there was a message on there about it being One Hit Wonder Day. What the? I’ve never heard of this, in my entire life. And I’m really old.
But it got me to thinking about so-called one hit wonders. People always say “My Sharona,” even though The Knack had another massive hit: “Good Girls Don’t.” Get your facts straight, people! Also, it pisses me off that Warren Zevon is a bonafide one hit wonder, even though he’s one of the greatest songwriters of all time. And that one hit was a novelty song that can sometimes be annoying, depending on how my brain chemicals are mixing when I hear it.
Anyway, I don’t want to get too deep into this thing. What I will do, however, is link to three songs from “one hit wonders” (mildly offensive) that don’t get mentioned too often. These are songs that were played on Top 40 radio, by bands that never had similar success with other songs. And they’re fairly obscure, from deep within the scar tissue of my brain. Check ’em out! You’ll dig them.
A few days ago I received a birthday notification from Facebook for a man who passed away a year or so ago. He was a guy I sorta knew from my hometown, a nice dude, a little older than me.
I clicked through to his page, to see what people were writing. And there were a couple dozen “Happy birthday!! I hope you have an awesome day!” kinds of messages. Obviously, they don’t know he’s gone. It made me feel sad. In fact, Facebook pages of dead people stir some kind of emotion in me, in general. They’re just super-sad. Probably because you can see them joking around and having fun there, and being just like you and me. And now they’re DEAD.
Any thoughts on this subject? I know it’s a little macabre, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.
And I think I’m going to call it a day here, my friends. I have a to-do list that’s formidable. So, I’ll see you again on Monday.
Questions To Choose From: Feel free to write your own short plays and share them, tell us about your PTO situation, list your favorite one hit wonders, or let us know what you think about Facebook pages of the deceased.
And have yourselves a fine, fine weekend!