About a year ago, maybe more, I discovered the video above and thought it was hilarious. I shared it here, and was surprised that many (most?) of you didn’t see the slightest bit of humor. In fact, it pissed a lot of people off. I recall being confused by the reaction. How could we be so far apart on it? It was really weird.
Just a few days ago I remembered it and went back to see if I still thought it was funny, or if I’d evolved on the issue. And I laughed so hard my stomach muscles were aching. Man, that’s some funny shit!
Why do you think it’s so divisive? It’s not that some people think it’s funny, and others do not. It’s that some people think it’s funny, and others want to start throwing haymakers. It triggers white-hot anger. Please help me understand what’s going on here. Are there any armchair sociologists in the house?
And just so you know… I was EXACTLY like those kids.
A couple of days ago I posted this on Twitter: Whenever you see a Facebook post that starts with “I generally try to steer clear of politics…” prepare yourself for pain. I stand behind it. However… if you’re going to do it, go all-in. Like this guy. Even if you don’t agree with his sentiments, you’ve got to admire his approach. Pass the beer nuts.
I got some new glasses a few days ago. The old ones looked like they were straight out of 1987, and were all messed up. One of the lenses was fine, but the other one was tilted slightly toward the ground. I don’t wear glasses in public, so it wasn’t a high priority. But, I decided to cash in some insurance benefits before January 1, and bring my shit into the modern era.
Indeed, the doctor informed me we have “kick ass” insurance. It bugs me a little when doctors are so casual. Ya know? They should be above me, high above. It’s no good when it feels like we’re on the same level. It’s no good for society, and it’s no good for humanity. My medical doctor is the same way. He greets me with “Hey, man!” What the hell??
Anyway, I checked out all the glasses in their shop for a long, long time. Finally, I had it narrowed down to three pairs, so I asked a spiffy old gay man to help me choose. He works there… it wasn’t just somebody sashaying past. He had me try on each, made an “mmm” sound with the first two, which felt like a lack of approval. Then, when I got to Number Three he shouted, “There you go! Those are the ones.”
So, I feel pretty good about it. I’m a complete dumbass, with no fashion sense. It’s great that they provide a veteran gay for folks like me. Talk about a value-added service. As the doc would say, kick-ass! I should’ve taken a photo of me wearing my new spectacles. Maybe I’ll do that next time. We’ll see.
Finally, I need some advice. I fell on my ass last winter and cracked my phone screen. It started as one straight crack, right across the middle. But it keeps getting worse and worse. At this point I have trouble reading certain numbers and words. I have insurance, but there’s a $100 or $150 deductible. That’s why I’ve just been living with it.
But, it’s gotten ridiculous. And I’m seriously considering treating myself to a new phone. My birthday is in a few days, and that’s how I’ll justify it.
However… my contract is up in March. So, in just four months I could upgrade legitimately. Also, I’ve read a lot of horror stories about that Verizon insurance. Apparently they substitute phones on ya, or send you used versions… That makes me nervous. On the other hand, I’ve heard some good things. That they overnight brand new phones with no hassles whatsoever.
My question to you: have you ever had to use cell phone insurance? I think all the major carriers use the same company: Asurion. What was your experience with them? And… do you think I should hold out for another four months, or plunk down the hunnert now? I use my phone a lot. If I was certain I’d get a brand new one, it would make the decision much easier.
Help me out, won’t you? Use the comments section.
And I’m going to work now. Please remember to use our Amazon links while doing your shopping this holiday season. It costs you nothing extra, but is a big, big deal here at Surf Report Central.
Have a great day, my friends.
Check out Ridiculous Adventures In Suburbia, Volume One for Kindle, Nook, and Kobo. Now also available in paperback!
It’s been a long while now since either of the Things ‘accidentally on purpose’ broke their phone so I can’t remember what the whole scoop is, but I don’t think they send you a new phone – just something similar to what got broken.
Oh, and I don’t really find that milk pranks to be all that knee slapping. My funny bone must be sprained or something.
Lee Harvey Ramone says
I have an undergraduate degree in Sociology, so let me sort this out to the best of my ability. Durkheim’s theory of functionalism informs us that societies seek to maintain equilibrium. Any disruption in the functioning of society as a system, will be responded to in a manner that attempts to regain a stable state. On the other hand, Veblen’s theory of conspicuous consumption emphasized people’s propensity to spend money on and acquire luxury goods and services to publicly display economic power to show off their social status and perhaps even provoke envy in other people.
I don’t think that any of this is informative at all. It may just be that some folks hate to see milk being spilled.
Joe T. says
You lost me at Veblen’s Theory.
Joe T. says
Too bad you don’t have the “kick ass” insurance for your phone. Funny video, funny post, funny thoughts of you getting fitted for your glasses. Did he have to measure your inseam?
Somebodies got to clean that shit up. I don’t want to have to clean up after some jerks joke. Therefore, I hate the action of it.
This is funny like seeing someone fall off a ladder is funny (which is fucking hilarious).
The milk thing is funny. I don’t know why it would piss off anyone ’round here.
It may be the mom (or cheapskate) in me, but the milk throwing video makes my brain scream, “Wasteful Jerk!” Then again, if the kid(s) bought the milk, cleaned it up AND didn’t sue the the store, well…
I still don’t find it funny. I’m not much for nut-punch (Jackass*) humor.
My 15 year old daughter says that Gay Compliments / Fashion Advice is the ultimate reward. (“Girls are fake, and straight boys usually want something. But the Gays? If THEY say you look good? They MEAN IT. On the flip side, if you look like a boated carp trollop, they’ll tell you that, too. Just take both under advisement.”
Rat Bastard says
I have verizon and have used my phone insurance recently. Got a new, unused phone. No refurb. I get drunk. A lot. Phones suffer.
Dashiell Hammett. Best American writer. Wrote like that. Nice comment.
Rat Bastard says
i’ve had a rough week and my sentences have suffered. Cheers to funerals and hangovers.
It was a compliment. No ironic twist. Just good writing. Sorry for your loss.
A few more syllables and he would have had a great haiku.
I used the insurance once quite a while ago. I don’t recall being disappointed with what they sent me.
I don’t think the milk video is funny but it doesn’t piss me off. Maybe it did a year ago.
I need to get new glasses, my current pair doesn’t want to stay on my face.
I laughed hard at the video. I do feel bad for the minimum wage people who have to clear that up, but it didn’t stop me laughing.
Amazon delivered my copy of Volume 1 a few days ago (I don’t e-read if I can help). Looks good. I will schedule some Mexican food so I get time to read it.
It took me about 15 seconds to get the Mexican food reference. Then I laughed my ass off!
Perhaps there were too many of the milk things – the first ones I thought were interesting, but then I just felt they were tedious. And then I thought about the bystanders that were seriously trying to help those guys, the folks having to clean up, and the store management thinking they might get sued. I was hoping to see the after effect where the store pulled out the store cam videos and charged the kids for the damage they caused. Nobody recorded THAT! Also, I would have been really pissed off if I had been there and my clothes splattered with detritus.
So not a fan now or when I first saw them. Maybe my funny bone is not so humerus.
Anyways, it seems that some of these kids have been charged per Wikipedia:
Humerus. I see what you did there.
We had AT&T insurance for my somewhat responsibility-impaired teenaged secret. They replaced (at least) two phones with minimal hassle.
Not funny at all. These two should stand on a street corner and film each other picking their nose and eating their boogers while capturing the public’s reaction. A pratfall is out of their league. Booger picking fits them well.
I’m honestly a little torn in regards to the video.
I don’t like the wastefulness. Around here we’re always hearing about food banks needing donations, neighbors who aren’t getting enough to eat, and local hospitals collecting millions (literally) of servings of donated breakfast cereal to cover kids who aren’t getting fed when schools let out. So destroying food kind of bugs me. Gallagher and his sledge hammer bother me for the same reason.
And as others have pointed out, some poor bastard has to clean up, someone else has to write some kind of incident report and God knows what else. Why make someones’ day any harder than it needs to be?
Also, I’m fat, so I might have wanted whatever they were wasting.
At the same time, the slipping and sliding in the spilled liquids cracked me up a little. But I think the same effect could have been had if those kids had “slipped” where someone had, for example, recently mopped.
When I met my wife she had a gay best friend. When she told me he’d seen my photo before and said I was cute, I’ll admit that some of my insecurities about my appearance were a little relieved. Women might try and spare your feelings, a gay guy is just going to say what he’s thinking.
I think the video is hilarious. I watched it with and without the volume on. It’s better with sound. As much as I hate wasting food, I found myself laughing at the people trying to help the kid stand.
I need new glasses. These are about 3 years old now and there is a slight crack in the corner of one of the lenses. It will have to wait until I get employed. My eyes are so messed up, I need a bunch of shit done to the lenses so I’m not walking around with a windshield on my head. Cheapest (Costco) still come out to $400. But, I am not a candidate for any kind of corrective surgery. Contacts don’t help either so eyeglasses it is.
Not one bit funny. I watched that and hoped each of those little punks actually hurt themselves.
Now that is funny!
John in tha gump says
Yea, the video is funny to people who like to prank. To the rest of society, them some dikheads. For me, a couple are kinda funny. Phone insurance, a year in, busted the screen proper. Called, had a remained phone in my hand the next afternoon. Had that one for a year and a half. No problems.
Shiny Rod says
Milk pranks, blargh…
So you’re going for Kate Spade look…
Fix the damn phone. You buy a screen off eBay and replace it yourself for cheap or pay one of the local shops a few more to replace it for you. Best advice, spend a couple dollars and get an otter box. Protect your tool…
Peace our for now folks… Brynhildr, still miss ya… 😉
Shiny Rod says
Think they would have that damn auto correct thing fixed by now…. blargh
It’s a rare pleasure to see a Shiny comment. I believe Mr. Rod was a regular commenter when I started lurking in the late Holocene epoch.
So of the 1000 plus videos I’ve posted, few are as divisive as pranks. Someone is always thinking about the implications and they usually project their own baggage onto the bystanders. A lot of times I’d debrief with the people and they’d laugh their ass off. Then the Internet comes to their defense like I kicked the Internet’a grandma in the crotch. Hogwash I day. Poppycock.
This is especially true when animals are involved. You’d think my “hamster on a leash” video was me slaughtering lambs. That hamster had the best day of its life.
As for glasses, I just got my first prescription and I’ve been having luck with Zenni optical if you don’t mind waiting a couple weeks. $15 bucks for prescription pairs (compared to hundreds at the chains or, even worse, those ragamuffin eye doctors). The whole marketplace is a dagnabbit monopoly with the stores, frames and even insurance being owned by the same smarmy company. Fiddlesticks I say. Rubbish.
Btw nothing is funnier than pratfalls and the people cleaning the mess probably laughed harder than us.
Nalts, I’ve watched some of your vids; the ones I’ve seen are entertaining and well made. Some are calculated to blow people’s minds a little; but I’ve not seen any that result in cleaning bills for people who might or might not be able to afford them, nor have I seen any that create an unsafe walking environment in a facility frequented by people who are occasionally challenged to stay on their feet under the best of circumstances. Maybe I just haven’t tapped the good stuff yet, but I’ve not seen you throwing multiple eight pound objects randomly in a public space. Maybe you’re just not trying hard enough, or maybe I need to upgrade my humorator.
It is probably a good thing that cellphone video was not available during some of my youthful jackassery. It would have likely lead to some criminal charges.
Not that funny, and I bet they didn’t clean up after themselves or pay for the jugs of milk they destroyed.
I haven’t looked into it yet but my friend said he insures his phone with his homeowners insurance. Its a fraction of the cost with the only drawback being he has to buy the phone full price then homeowners reimburses him. If this is true you would be assured that you are getting a new phone.
When I was young I was into – shall we say – certain mischief. Now, I would call the cops on such kids doing things. That is called growing old I think.
Get the hell off my lawn. Damn kids.
The squeaky shoes is the clincher for me.
I HATE humour that derives from:
“Help me, I’m hurt.”
“Oh my, are you okay?”
“Sucker! I’m not hurt at all!! Ha ha ha!!!”
So many pranksters rely on the kindness of strangers as a source of laughter.
Those pranks don’t make you a prankster, they make you a jerk.
A couple of years ago my phone just up and died, mid-call. I had it replaced under warranty – not the so-called insurance – and they sent me a “refurbished” one of the same make and model. It ended up being fine, but it feels like I bought a new phone and ended up with a used one. This was Verizon.
The video just makes me wonder what type of cleaning product you would use for mopping up 150 pounds of douchebag.
cross lanes curmudgeon says
Though I wasn’t a hater, I didn’t think the milk-slinging video was outrageously funny. Now the political Facebook rant on Syrian refugees by Gin & Tacos — that was seriously funny.
Here’s why the milk thing bothers me: someone else has clean that shit up, someone else could get seriously injured, and it’s wasteful. Falling to make yourself look like a dumbass can be funny, but in this instance, it is not.
Joey Jo Jo says
I remember you posting that video originally, and I remember being surprised that you liked it. Those kids are cocks, just straight-up bitch-ass cocks, and they need an ass-kicking. I work hard for mediocre pay managing a store, and I very well might have to clean that shit up. Even if it’s not me, some poor sap has to. And the waste, while small, is still fucking waste. I much prefer the video (can’t find it on YouTube, for some reason) of the kid doing this and breaking his jaw when landing.
Seriously, fuck them. Deep and, as you say, on a slant.
The Divine Miss E says
Verizon doesn’t have contracts or the free upgrades anymore. If you want a new phone you have to pay full price. I used to have New Every Two with them, but I just went to the store a couple weeks ago and they said that’s done. So I’m holding onto my phone until it dies. Those things are a fortune, goddamn.
Verizon contracts are grandfathered, so when I got a new phone earlier this month I didn’t have to pay full price. You either sign on for another two years or pay full price for a new phone with monthly installments.
Root 66 says
I would only enjoy that milk smashing video if the people standing around them gave them a good swift kick in the pants while they’re laying there–now THAT would be funny! Not to be a negative Nellie, but having worked in retail for a number of years, I know who gets the pleasure of cleaning up someone else’s mess and trust me, it’s no picnic. I worked in a toy store and people would change their kid’s diaper right in the middle of the aisle and just leave it. Puke was always a treat to clean up, too.
However, I’d rather do that than clean up after some wasteful jerk trying to be “funny!”
Jeez, I sound just like my dad…