Over the weekend I experienced a flare-up of my continuing midlife crisis. Nothing too serious, though. Metten and I had a phone conversation, during which I engaged in a little more whining than I’m comfortable with. But other than that… it wasn’t as bad as some of the previous flare-ups.
This time only Metten and Toney suffered.
I did, however, book two additional yurt sessions during the coming months. That was the big result of the weekend crisis. I’m going back into my pod in the woods, twice before winter gets here. With Little Debbies, of course.
And remember a few months back when Facebook announced they were going to allow people to choose usernames? So, instead of a long jumble of random letters and numbers, the address to your Facebook pages would look like this: facebook.com/username.
They allowed folks to start choosing at midnight on a Friday (I think), and there was a full-on feeding frenzy. In fact, when I tried to get jeffkay, only a few minutes past midnight, it was already gone. Grrr… Sometimes those Jeff Kays can really piss a guy off.
I was highly irritated, and chose jskay instead. A horrible choice! I should’ve gone with thewvsr. My decision-making skills were hampered by anger and Yuengling, and Facebook said I’d have to live with it for life. You only get one shot, they reminded me again and again.
But I was monkeying around on the site last night, and under SETTINGS found a place where they allow you a second chance. And I successfully changed my address to facebook.com/thewvsr.
I don’t think this option is widely known, but it’s there. So, if you’re like me and made a turd-like choice on feeding-frenzy night, they’re allowing do-overs. Just go to Settings>Account Settings>Username. There’s an option there to change it.
Good god, is this really what it’s come to?
Speaking of so-called social networking, according to this site I have Twitter nuts that weigh 131.38 lbs. Complete with a cartoon illustration! …Twitter nuts?
And since we’re on the subject, I asked you guys to promote the eBook via Twitter while I was in West Virginia last week, and told you I’d choose two promoters at random, and send ’em a free t-shirt.
This morning I pasted all the screen names into a Word document, printed it out, cut them into little Chinese fortune strips, and had both Secrets choose one each from a bowl.
And here are the winners of the Evil Twin leapin’ catfish shirts: iamjasonjordan and phaedrusX. Congratulations guys (or gals)! Let me know the size you prefer, and I’ll get the shirts out to ya.
Thanks to everyone who participated. I appreciate it, sincerely.
I watched Gran Torino over the weekend, and laughed my ass off. Is that wrong? I had to watch the credits at the end, to see if Phil Hendrie had helped out with Eastwood’s dialogue. Some of it reminded me of Phil’s “Lloyd Bonafide” character.
It was a good movie, I thought. And I even approve of the controversial ending. Quite enjoyable.
A few days ago I bought the first two seasons of I Love Lucy — 67 episodes on 12 DVDs — for $14.99. How’s that for a bargain? They also had the first two seasons of Hogan’s Heroes, Everybody Loves Raymond, and South Park, for the same price. Maybe a few other shows, too.
One of the biggest consumer complaints about the music industry is the high price of CDs. The video folks are trying to avoid making the same mistake, and have always offered DVDs at a decent price. Comparably, anyway.
But how are they making ANY money selling twelve discs for fifteen dollars? I’ve heard the tired-ass argument about DVDs only costing pennies to manufacture, but there’s a lot more to it than the physical item. There’s warehousing costs, freight, marketing, royalties, retail mark-up, payroll, whores for the VPs, etc. etc.
Perhaps it’s why I’m no longer working in that industry, and pulling-down outrageous paychecks? Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I was shit-out like yesterday’s breakfast burrito? Along with my boss, and my boss’s boss?
Yeah, at first I was excited about those I Love Lucy sets, but now I’m not so sure… I’m feeling a little depressed. Maybe I’ll give Metten a call?
Have you gotten any remarkable bargains lately? Brag about in the comments section below.
Also, this is the last day of the month. If you were to put together a time capsule to let future generations know about your own personal August 2009, what would you include? We need to know.
And how’s this for a big ol’ mess of an update? Hmm? If I told you what was happening over my right shoulder right now, you wouldn’t believe me…
I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Hey yo!!!
First!
bummer 🙁
Top ten.
FOUR!!!!
Top Ten First Time.
Now what else have I go tto live for!
Hiya
I got an awesome bargin today. I posted on twitter and won a free WVSR shirt……
I recently bought a gas grill at “The Home Depots” for only $90. It was a display or something, I don’t know. I’ve never had a gas grill because I use a giant smoker instead. So now I have a giant smoker, a regual sized grill fashioned out of a 55 gallon drum, and this thing. I couldn’t help myself. $90? Are you shittin me? Great deal.
Haven’t run across any good deals in a long time, aside from my truck – 2 years ago. 2005 F-150 crew cab / long bed, V8, Texas Edition (XLT with no leather), 19K miles for $14,000.
Seeing that I drive around in a 2005 Earth Destroyer, I’m sensitive to gas prices – what is everybody paying right now for gas?
Austin: $2.36 is the lowest I’ve seen.
Also, I can’t understand how anyone can survive without a truck in the fambly? How in the hell is it done? I mean, you have GOT to at least have an SUV or crossover thingie, right?
Time capsule contribution: dead grass from my lawn
Bargain Brag: My brother and I are flying to Curacao for $54 (each) and staying at our favorite dive resort for under $30 a night (each) and receiving $250 in food/booze credit (each) from the tourism board thanks to the Netherland Antilles Government tourism stimulus. The only thing that beats a Curacao dive trip is a cheap Curacao dive trip. We’ll be staying at our regular haunt, here: http://www.habitatcuracaoresort.com/
…and heres another fine mess you gotten us into Jeff. Just don’t yurt yourself.
I take it those DVDs sets don’t have any bonus stuff – commentary, deleted scenes, etc. And also – usually when something is that cheap, it means the transfer is not going to be that great. That is, the quality of what you are seeing is bad. Or am I wrong?
Purchased TWO 500 capsule bottles of Omega C fish oil for seven dollars. Is that good? No other purchases.
August, 2009- found out I was overweight and near stroke level, so decided to do something about it. Only vegetables I ever eat are potatoes and collard greens. Tried new vegetables over the weekend. Hated them all. Ate a lot of salad. Hated it. Drove to Lakeland for some stupid Disney stage show for my daughter. Got lost in the hood afterwards (Lakeland is 80 percent hood) got the same directions from four different people and locations, like its a tourist type joke or something. Took a sick day from work, which I never do. Endured day after day of 120 degree heat index, with no rain. Not a good month in my opinion.
However- Did you know I lost seven pounds over the weekend?
On IPOD right now- “The Downtown”- Days of the New
Oh yeah, I forgot the good part of August, when I impersonated the Applebee’s manager. Although I posted it here last Thursday, here it is again, just for shits and giggles:
My Five Minute Career as an Applebee’s Manager
So I am sitting in my office and the direct line rings. Usually, when people call for their questions, it passes through the receptionist first, who, in turn, patches the call through to me. However, occasionally, someone knows the direct line number. Sometimes, someone calls by accident. The conversation went something like this:
It’s 9:30 in the morning.
Me: Hello, vault.
Her: Is this Applebee’s? (I clearly said “Hello, vault”, so I knew what I was dealing with)
Me: Yes, it’s a great day in the neighborhood for Applebee’s, but we do not open until 11:00.
Her: No, no, no, I don’t want to order. You see, I was in there last night and left my husband’s credit card on the bar. Could you see if someone turned it in. My name is Leigh Thomas. The name on the card is Andrew Thomas.
Me: What did you order?
Her: What does it matter? I just want to know if the card is there.
Me: I can look up your order in the computer and maybe trace it back to the wait staff that might have it. You don’t want a starving waitress running up your husband’s credit card, do you?
Her: I guess not, it just had drinks on it. We were at the bar. There are probably several rum and cokes and a couple of Jack and cokes on there.
Me: Did you drink all of these yourself?
Her: No, no, no, I took some friends out after work and bought them drinks.
Me: I’m sure your husband appreciated that.
Her: What’s with all the smarmy criticism? I just want to get my card back. (I can’t recall the last time I heard someone actually use the word “smarmy”.)
Me: How many of these drinks were yours?
Her: What the fuck does that matter?
Me: Because people who leave their husbands credit card on the bar are usually drunks, or stupid bitches, such as yourself.
Her: What the fuck? You have a lot of nerve….
Me: So are you a stupid bitch, or a drunk?
Her: Fuck you, asshole!
Me: Now you’ll never get your husband’s card back, stupid, drunk bitch!
A co-worker walks in at this point and is shocked, thinking I am speaking with an actual client of our company.
Her: Fuck off! Andy, come talk to this asshole.
Him: (Andy, the husband) What’s the problem, guy?
Me: My name is not Guy.
Him: Do you have my card, or not?
Me: Is that your wife I was talking to?
Him: Yeah, do you have my card?
Me: I’ve gotta give you credit sir, I don’t think I could be married to a stupid, drunk bitch like that….losing my credit cards, buying drinks for everyone at the bar.
Him (speaking to her) Who did you buy drinks for? (Then to me) That doesn’t fucking matter. What is your name?
Me: Are you coming down here?
Him: Yeah, I want to see you in person…or your boss.
Me: Come to the bar and ask for me, I will be in the back. My name is Mr. Jabloemi, that’s J-A-B-L-O-E-M-I.
Him: (Still having no clue, and writing it down) Okay, got it. I’m on the way. You’d better be there.
Me: Ask for Heywood.
Him: Heywood?
Me: My father was a black man, my mother was Polish.
Him: So what if I start calling you a fucking porchmonkey?
Me: I wish you wouldn’t, sir.
Him: You called my wife a dumb bitch.
Me: It was “stupid bitch”, sir.
Him: Fuck you, porchmonkey!!
Me: I’m afraid I may have to cap your ass when I see you, sir.
Him: (Still no clue) I’ll be there in ten minutes. (Hangs up phone)
I sincerely hope these two have not breeded. The best part would have to be if he went to the bar and asked some unsuspecting waitress for “Heywood Jabloemi”.
No, Ognir, they’re the regular box sets, shrinkwrapped together. These are no truck stop knock-offs. They’re the real deal, for an incredibly low price.
This is exactly the same one I bought, along with the second season, for $14.99.
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Lucy-Complete-First-Season/dp/B0007TKH16/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1251741531&sr=1-1
i bought a dell inspiron 1525 laptop off craigslist for 100 bucks. damn thing is nice duo core 2 ghz,380 gig hd,battery upgrade,hdmi port etc what a deal.
“dive resort”…that’s funny! A very cool, albeit, unintentional oxymoron….well done Adam.
Last year was my best bargain. I bought a 2005 Fully loaded Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited, leather seats, butt warmers (for those cold NC mornings), DVD player, Sirius, GPS mapping, V8 5.7 liter gas suckin power house haulin ass machine with 30K on the odo and I only paid a measly 14K for it.
Barely made the top 20. Gah!
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
AngryWhiteGuy –
That was most excellent! Not many opportunities to mess with people, you took advantage of the situation. Too damn funny..
As far as great bargains, the Missus (She Who Must Be Obeyed) found a pair of Adidas golf shoes for me for $20, brand new in the box.
Here they are > http://www.golfdiscount.com/system/0000/3643/37602_large.jpg
I turned 50 in Aug. 2009. Can’t imagine how I made it this far.
Best bargin in the same month purchased a 1961 John Deere 1010 bulldozer for $1600.00 in great shape. Thats right a bulldozer stumps beware.
Bargins?…caught some Coltrane and some Monk (no ..not the TV Monk) in the “Nobody listens to this shit” bin at Best Buy. Dog was free. Beer’s on sale.
AWG – awesome job with the weight loss! Keep trying new veggies. I’m sure you’ll find something you like.
Haven’t found any bargains lately, unless you want to count buy-one-get-one-free dental floss.
August time capsule: Can you put heat in a time capsule? How about ants?
Gas price in Phoenix: around $2.57 for the 87 octane.
Here’s a recap of My Personal August 2009: forgot my brother’s birthday on the 6th. He’s 46, for Christ’s sake, who cares? My mother retaliated by “forgetting” my husband’s birthday on the 25th. Item for time capsule: a sealed, unmailed birthday card.
Got free admission to a Gwinnett Braves game on the 11th. Was sweating profusely before the national anthem was sung. So F-ing hot, I couldn’t peel my jeans down to pee. Left in second inning. Item for time capsule: wet ticket stub.
Went to High Museum on the 17th. Turns out stupid museum is closed on Mondays. WTF?? Item for time capsule: parking garage stub for $10 for approximately 10 minutes. Nice.
Husband’s birthday on the 25th. He wanted to grill steaks at home instead of going out to dinner. Fine with me. He burnt them. Item for time capsule: chunk of hardened steak gristle.
Which brings me to today, August 31st. Typical Atlanta summer day: wet, sticky, unbearably warm. Air conditioning not sufficient in this office. Miserable. Item for time capsule: my wet bra.
AWG that was great. I had an obscene phone call at 2 am one morning. He must of thought I was a girl when I answered. He went on his tirade about what he wanted to do to me. I waited till he finished and I let him have it with the worst obscene stuff I could think of. I think I set him back on his heels as he stammered and strained to say something. Nothing came out. I went silent and he went silent. After a few long seconds I said…nana ..ne..nana… I won… He said ya you did win and hung up. I laughed for a while on that one. Never heard from again…
AWG – keep everyone posted on the results of the Fish Oil. Sounds like a damn good price to me.
is there a circus?
august 2009? i’d put a box of rubbers and a bottle of jack…..
A yurt? What’s next…a journey to Burning Man?
AWG…how do you find out you are overweight? Isn’t that like finding out you are white? BTW…excellent phone prank.
Bargains? Bought some shirts from Gabriel Brothers…$4 each…cheep. Could be because one of them had a big shoe print on the back. Size 10 Reebok from what I can make out. You gotta check that shit out close I guess.
Coming to the end of yard-sale season otherwise known as Non-Working Portable Electronics season. Sigh…unending weeks of slush/frozen mud just around the corner.
Bargains???? Hey, we were jumping for joy last month when the pice of a gallon of gas dropped from $4.99 to a mere $4.80!
My other “bargain” was sort of a scam. I’m 52, and the clerk at the grocery store asked, “Senior discount?” I mumbled, “yeah, sure.” So I got the discount 3 years early…but I did save 5% on a 12 ounce bag of potato chips that carried a full retail price of $6.99. As we used to say in St. Marys, WV, I was “shittin’ in high cotton!”
Bargins,
Newbalance tennis shoes for $20.00
August time capsule at our house.
1. An American flag. The hubby just finished his deployment and there are once again man drawers in the laundry.
2. Weedeater line, it has been a really mild summer and its greener then normal here.
3. A bottle of Sam Adams Boston Lager.
4. Copy of “Toes” from Zac Brown Bands, The Foundation CD
5. a sunburn. Lost almost 50lbs in the last year and am confident enough in my new 130lb body to take it to the lake a little more often!
I got the first season DVD set. of Curb Your Enthusiasm on eBay for $3 plus free shipping because the guy misspelled “Enthusiasm”. There is a site called typobay.com you can go to and type in what you are looking for on eBay and it will look for a bunch of variations on spelling. I had the utmost respect for the seller for honoring my winning bid.
….Ooooops, forgot to mention that these are prices in Nome, Alaska.
Wish I were as clever as AWG. My home number is nearly the same as a home health care service in Georgia, and I’m surprised at the number of people who get the area code wrong, thus reaching me in California at all hours of the day, night. I really should think of something clever to say just to screw with them. However, I do need to be careful that some dumbass doesn’t take me seriously and inadvertently kill grandma. Any suggestions?
Bargains: A cashmere sweater at a thrift store for $12. My size. No moth holes. I was there on 50% off Friday, which means I actually only paid $6 for the sweater, but then there was the additional $6 at the dry cleaner to properly fumigate it.
Things I got for free off Freecycle.org: silver chafing dish; full set of Crate & Barrel dishes; a dog house; a limited edition Barbie (still in the box) for my niece; and a copy of Genuine Value: The John Deere Journey, which was an added bonus that someone threw in at the last minute. As it turns out, it’s a very cool coffee table book.
Bargains: I don’t mean to sound too highfalutin’ here on the ol’ WVSR, but lately I’ve been on a big Shakespeare kick (yeah, what of it?), intent on reading all the plays and watching them either live or on film. Anyway, the BBC filmed (or video’d, I’m not sure which) every Shakespeare play (37 of ’em) back in the late-’70s / early-’80s, and they are available on DVD for the princely sum of $1,500 (www.ambrosevideo.com/items.cfm?id=812). Well, a few months ago I happened to come across the whole set being sold on Ebay, brand-spankin’-new, for a hundred bucks. The only catch was, the DVDs were formatted for Australian DVD players, and supposedly wouldn’t play on U.S. players. Well, I couldn’t pass up a bargain, so I bought ’em, and figured I’d think of a way to play ’em somehow or other. Turns out they play just fine on my computer’s DVD drive, so I can just hook my computer up to my big-ass TV, and watch ’em no problem. So there ya go, I saved $1,400 simply because there doesn’t seem to be much demand for Shakespeare in Australia (I suppose because they’re a bunch of descendants of robbers, murderers, and thieves, so aren’t too cultured down under. (Just joshing, Aussy-boys.) (Hey, that almost looks like “Pussy-boys.”)
AWG: Simply fantastic.
Aug 2009 time capsule: our fambly wrist bands from our visits to Idlewild & SplashZone, the Science Center and the Aquarium in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor.
@Carla – very happy that your man’s underwear is back in the laundry rotation.
I found some killer bargain bookcases at a yard sale a few weekends ago. I thought their seller’s children had priced them, but, no, the prices were real! $1 + $1 + $5! They were beautiful and in nearly perfect shape so I snagged ’em. I love it when people move or downsize and have to get all organized n’shit. The irony is that we have no place to put them in our house yet so they’re in our clunker 2000 Ford Windstar mobile storage container.
My only recent bargain was snagging silicon spray at Crappy Tire for 70% off this weekend-hopefully its not 70% empty…
AWG – hilarious!
Bargains?: I bought my van (new 2008 Dodge Caravan) for $10K a few weeks ago….
August Time Capsule: This month has been one never ending fucking bitch from day one, and I want no memories or reminders of it.
AWG, that was totally priceless! My only thing remotely comparable is that my home phone number used to be similar to a halfway house. It got very annoying, very quickly, as most of the drug addicts and sex offenders had friends/relatives that liked to call at 2 o’clock in the morning. After awhile, my standard response was, “No, I’m sorry, “Joe” can’t come to the phone…he died of a drug overdose late last night.” Hehe…didn’t take the halfway house long to change their number.
Tyrosine – August Time Capsule: I second that one. Can I get a do over? Actually, can we do July over too? I need to go back and make some serious changes in what I said and did. I don’t like losing good friends.
I’m on the great used car deal bandwagon. I got a 2000 Ford Escort ZX2, with 60k miles on it, minor body damage, $400. That POS gets 25/35MPG, way better than my 2003 Blazer. I put new tires on it, for another $280. So, for just over $700 after plating it, I have a commuter that’ll last me easily the next 10 years.
I’m driving the same car I bought brand new in January 2001.
And I’ll continue driving it until some uninsured asshole hits me and totals it.
I love my car.
Boy, my last comment sounded like some fucked up haiku!
My time capsule would have several handfulls of dirt and a note in it that says:
“Use this money wisely. Use it to help the poor and build hospitals.”
And then they’d think that someone stole the money.
I told Jeff himself the tragedy of losing my Smoking Fish Hat with Bona Fide scribbles. My Insurance agent will almost certainly not believe the hat was priceless. I am hurt, lost and confused. I got a semi-acceptable replacement hat.
Go Bearcats!
4-3 Reds! Suck it, Pirate.
Greg in Cincinnati.
@AWG…. I used to take orders for Gino’s Pizza in Dunbar. Thier phone number was 0091 and ours was 0991 or 0911, or visa versa, who remembers. I took so many orders it’s not even funny. One night when we went and picked up our order I mentioned it to the manager she wasn’t very pleasent and said I was being unkind that they would get cussed out one a week for lost orders. we’d even give them deliery times. Some of the names and address I knew but never said a word. Hay, not my problem people can’t dial a phone correct or listen how it’s answered.
Time Capsule….nothing worth saving.
Hot deal? Last year I got an an 08 F-350 on a 22″ lift kit from the owner of local hair salon that was going out of business. Loaded, fully chromed, bored-out 6.5 liter, straight pipes, 7000 miles on it. 10 mpg to show them A-rabs who’s the boss. It’s a crew cab with a full bed so plenty of room for men in my behind like most non-laborer pickup drivers.
My August time capsule would contain that surreal feeling I had as I walked out to my car after taking my last college final. God that felt good. In a few weeks I’ll take state boards and officially be a registered nurse, so I’m sure September’s time capsule will have an equally surreal feeling. Too bad I can’t find a fucking job around here. Anybody want to buy a house in Northern Indiana so I can move?
I haven’t bought any bargains in quite a long while. I buy the same shit week after week…gas, groceries, blah blah blah. Although, when I do find a job I’m looking forward to bargain shopping for one hell of a nice LCD tv.