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19th Century Personal Ad: What Are Your Feelings About Gertrude?

March 13, 2014 By Jeff 31 Comments

19th century personal ad (1)

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Filed Under: Daily

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Comments

  1. johnthebasket says

    March 13, 2014 at 5:07 am

    Nor am I a “singing angel” so that makes about two of us.

    jtb

    Reply
  2. Putski says

    March 13, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Too bad I’m on the other side of the planet…. and the wrong century. What a catch!

    Reply
  3. Wisey in TTown says

    March 13, 2014 at 6:35 am

    Hideous

    Reply
  4. Miketheripper says

    March 13, 2014 at 7:52 am

    If not feather beds, what’s a man supposed to do with the feathers from all the chickens and turkeys he is apparently going to be eating?

    Reply
  5. WB in OH says

    March 13, 2014 at 8:32 am

    “but understand about the music of the pudding slice” WTF Gertrude speaka da english.

    Reply
  6. DaveF says

    March 13, 2014 at 8:39 am

    She had me up until the no mutton.

    Reply
    • Shawn says

      March 13, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Would choose the sheep over the girl?

      Reply
  7. Phantom Railfan says

    March 13, 2014 at 11:20 am

    I think that bit about “understanding the music of the pudding slice” is a poetic manner of saying she’s fat…

    Reply
  8. Billy Joel says

    March 13, 2014 at 11:26 am

    Gertrude is such a pretty name

    Reply
  9. icecycle66 says

    March 13, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Sounds like George Costanza.

    Reply
  10. madz1962 says

    March 13, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    Fast forward to the 21st century and her “handsome” remark will probably get her a wife.

    Reply
  11. hardoxdan says

    March 13, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    Can she cook?
    Does she have a job?
    Is she kinky?
    Does she tolerate drunks?

    Everything else is a distant 5th place.

    Reply
  12. sunshine_in_va says

    March 13, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Pudding slice? Sounds to me like a euphemism for her quivering, silky nether region.

    Reply
  13. CW says

    March 13, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    Definitely DTF , a lots of words to get the message out but definitely DTF

    Reply
  14. WB in OH says

    March 13, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    Off topic but…

    Headline on MSN: Have searchers been looking in the wrong place for missing jet? Um, pretty sure when they look in the right spot they’ll find a big friggin’ jet.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      March 13, 2014 at 4:32 pm

      I am less troubled that MSN said “place” when they meant “sea” than by the fact that you’re getting your news from MSN.

      Just flippin a little shit on a sunny day in the Great Pacific Northwest.

      jtb

      Reply
      • Clueless says

        March 13, 2014 at 10:38 pm

        What, he should get his news from FOX? I get mine neither.

        Reply
        • Clueless says

          March 13, 2014 at 10:39 pm

          from*

          Reply
          • johnthebasket says

            March 14, 2014 at 1:08 am

            As weakass and useless a television network as CNN is, CNN dot com is pretty darn good. They update 7X24 and have no obvious political axe to grind.

            The Daily Beast has thoughtful pieces about current events and newsblasts as new events unfold.

            Maybe MSN has improved. When I was in the biz, the MSN news setting was for people who hadn’t bothered to change the default settings on their browsers.

            In any case, I was mostly fucking around.

            But I am interested in where people get their news online. I don’t watch TV news. I get some from NPR and the rest from online sources. Suggestions?

            jtb

            Reply
            • chill says

              March 14, 2014 at 6:50 am

              Online: cnn .com, theguardian. co.uk and Dave Farber’s mailing list. On air: NPR and the local news+traffic station, WTOP. I don’t normally watch TV news.
              .

              Reply
            • Clueless says

              March 14, 2014 at 11:33 am

              Certainly not from television, and lost faith in NPR a few years back. Not the news junkie I used to be as my focus has changed, so Huff Post is okay for not-in-depth news. Guardian is good, so is Al Jazeera.

              Reply
            • Miketheripper says

              March 14, 2014 at 1:17 pm

              CNN shows their bias by the stories they fail to report much like ABC, CBS and NBC. Sometimes you have to read between the lines….

              Reply
  15. Sponge says

    March 13, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    Mated phrenologically? Conk her on the head and drag her to the cave?

    Reply
  16. johnthebasket says

    March 13, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    I might take her over Gaga. This is from yesterday’s Sports Illustrated Online….
    .

    Good Guy/Bad Girl Alert

    Cristiano Ronaldo donated $83,000 to the family of a 10-year-old boy with cortical dysplasia – a rare brain disorder that causes dozens of daily seizures – so that he could have a vital operation to treat the disease. Ronaldo was initially asked to donate a shirt and pair of boots to help raise funds, but instead decided to pay for the entire procedure. In a somewhat related story, Lady Gaga‘s Born This Way Foundation reportedly took in $2.65 million in revenue in 2012 yet paid out one $5,000 grant for the entire year.

    Reply
  17. johnthebasket says

    March 13, 2014 at 4:28 pm

    Sorry, Jeff…I keep losing my static information (undoubtedly I’m accidently clearing my cookies – not your problem) and I can’t type. Turns out that none of the things I can’t do are your problem. Small consolation in the midst of a busy week, but take it where you can get it.

    best….jtb

    Reply
  18. chill says

    March 13, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    Just as well I’m outside of Gertrude’s age window.
    .

    Reply
  19. Airandee says

    March 13, 2014 at 8:12 pm

    My Dearest Gertrude,
    I am but a solitary man whom is oft favorably compared to the bottom half of a happy mule. And I shant soon want to knock the singing angel from your heart with a hardy approach for hence South whilst whistling Dixie. I fancy myself practical and quite professional with a gun and homemade jelly and soon will a calling on yours truest. Meet me at Ford’s Theater Washington, D.C. On 14th of April.

    Sincerely,
    J. W. Booth

    Reply
  20. Joe T. says

    March 13, 2014 at 10:04 pm

    Gertrude ought to shut her trap.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      March 14, 2014 at 1:10 am

      Perhaps, but I suspect she left her back door ajar.

      jtb

      Reply
  21. ob-negative says

    March 15, 2014 at 12:41 pm

    Reminds me of this…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spGFdXGMw58

    Reply
    • Wisey in Ttown says

      March 18, 2014 at 8:28 am

      If “pudding slice” is another name for harmonica then I think you nailed it. Good tune!

      Reply

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