Holy crap in a Bundt pan... Due to the recent well-publicized shortage of
amateur websites produced by assholes who consider themselves to be clever, I
have been called into action. My name is Jeff Kay, and Iím an Ugly American living
on the cusp of a mid-life crisis, near Scranton, PA. And Iím here to serve, baby.

The View From Down Here
A journal of sorts, updated every once in a while.

A Surf Report Friday Flashback

August 17, 2007

-- Toney bought me a new computer chair today. For the past couple of years Iíd been using an old dining room chair with the back broken-off, and she hated it. It was just four legs and an ass-platform, and I donít even know what happened to the part youíre supposed to lean against. I have a feeling itís in the basement somewhere, or maybe the garage.

Anyway, she took it upon herself to buy me a new chair, and itís going to take some getting used to. Right now I feel like Iím typing uphill, if you know what I mean. This deal is slightly lower than the old ass-scaffolding (ass-scaff), and Iím not sure I care for it.

And how much you want to bet the previous ďchairĒ is already in the trash? Iím getting a sick feeling in my stomach, and this time it has nothing to do with the 40 ounces (or so) of Dunkin Donuts coffee sloshing around in thereÖ

-- Iím also having trouble with email. For some reason Comcast is flagging everything addressed to thewvsr as spam, and wonít allow it to drop into my inbox. And this makes me go grrrr... I appreciate their spam-filtering efforts, I really do, but theyíre getting a tad overzealous. Ya know?

This happened once before, and I had to have my webhost contact my internet provider; my people talked to their people, and got everything straightened out. 

At that time I also set it up so every Surf Report email is sent to a second destination, as back-up. But Iím still not convinced everything is making it to me.

Itís political correctness gone mad! Or something.

-- Any opinions on folks visiting England for the first time in late March? Thatís what weíre considering, but Iím mildly concerned about the weather. Not so much the temperatures, mind you, but the rain. 

Iíve done a little research, and it looks kinda moist in March. But I donít want to go over there when itís hot, and I donít want to go when school is out either. Iím looking for jacket weather, and small crowds. 

Any opinions on London in late March? Let me know, wonít you? I crave information, the same way Iím craving Dairy Queen slaw dogs.

-- Check this out. Thereís a definite mocking tone to the piece, but I donít care. Laugh all you want, shitlips, as long as you get the URL correct! I think Teddy Roosevelt said that.

-- Steve and I are going to see New York play Detroit at Yankee Stadium on Sunday, and weíre traveling by bus.

Supposedly, this will be the view from our seats.

Originally we were to board in the Sears parking lot, near the automotive center. But yesterday I received an email with a lot of bold red lettering inside, informing me the location has changed. Now itís at K-Mart, a mile or so away.

Why? Why would the pick-up point change? Itís not as if the stores will be open at that godforsaken hour of the morning. I think theyíre just screwing with us. I suspect they oversold the tour, and are messing around hoping somebody misses the bus, so as to avoid a ďscene.Ē

Does that sound paranoid? Well, itís the way I roll.

Something else in the literature that I found to be a bit curious, is a note about the so-called tailgate party. They plead, in all caps, for us to be patient and allow a few minutes for the grills to be set-up, and for the food to cook.

The fact they felt compelled to put that sentence in there, indicates that people have a tendency to get all belligerent and start hollering for their free hotdogs on these trips. 

What are we getting ourselves into?! What kind of people get all worked-up and abusive about hamburgers cooked by bus drivers? It doesnít exactly give me a warm and fuzzy, know what Iím sayiní?

Iím having visions of the warehouse workers at my old job in Atlanta
. Several times each month the company would bring in pizza for everyone, and some of the warehouse people would go into a full-blown frenzy. 

Theyíd turn aggressive and fights would sometimes break out. I saw a guy load his backpack with pizza slices one day. And it wasnít unusual for folks to take off with a full pie, and try to wedge it into their lockers.

Iím concerned our bus will be loaded with locker-wedgers on Sunday. Locker-wedgers in novelty caps.

-- I have a metric shitload of fresh Smoking Fish photos, but wasnít able to get them ready for today. Sorry about that, but Iíll have them for you on Monday. Thanks to everyone who sent Ďem in!

Before I turn it over to Brad, I have a few links, as required by the Bloggerís Union
, Local 563. Iím way low on my monthly quota for AugustÖ

This is a really good interview with Nick Lowe, over at the Whisperiní Liberals Radio Network. If youíre a Nick fan, you donít want to miss it. He talks about the birth of his first child, the death of his parents, and also does a little singing. Good stuff.

Hereís a list (with mp3s!) of the best beer songs. Did they miss any? I donít think they did.

This is a collection of amazing Google Earth photos. The Oprah maze makes my brain hurt.

And here are a few pictures I meant to highlight when Barry Bonds stole, I mean broke, the home run record last week. Better late than neverÖ

-- Now hereís Brad, to tell you about his own personal Elvis Year. 

Iíll see you guys on Monday, and probably even sooner if you subscribe to the mailing list.

Have a great weekend, folks.

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01/17/12 12:14 PM

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