Holy crap in a Bundt pan... Due to the recent well-publicized shortage of
amateur websites produced by assholes who consider themselves to be clever, I
have been called into action. My name is Jeff Kay, and Iím an Ugly American living
on the cusp of a mid-life crisis, near Scranton, PA. And Iím here to serve, baby.

The State of My Fat Ass
A journal of sorts, updated every once in a while.

What in the sweet fancy crap??

February 27, 2007

-- My cell phone rang while I was at work yesterday, and it was a California bigshot acting all flustered and frantic. He asked if I could join him for breakfast at 7 am on Tuesday, and I said sure. But why, and where? He'd go over the why when I got there, he said, and the where is the Radisson in Scranton.


I immediately called my boss, to see what in the cafeteria-style hell was going on, and didn't get a good feeling from the conversation. In fact, my stomach almost came out of my ass. Big changes are afoot, he said, and there's a possibility I'll be a "casualty." Casualty?? He told me he didn't know for sure what had been decided, but I should hope for the best and prepare for the worst. To tell you the truth, I'm not really a fan of any of it.

So, I went down to Scranton this morning, sat in the upscale restaurant at the Radisson there, and was informed that my job is being eliminated. Over coffee and croissants. I was then taken into a small conference room, and spoke with a human resources person via speakerphone. He discussed the severance package, and answered the two or three questions I could muster.

Then I shook hands with the guy who came to give me the news, and that was that. Effective April 1 I'll no longer have a job. Nothing personal, mind you, purely a business decision. I walked out to my car, got in, and drove home in a daze. I listened to a local talk radio show, but couldn't tell what they were "outraged" about today.

I'm still in shock and, deep down, don't think I really believe it yet. I've been with that company (formerly my company) for more than seventeen years. I started in Atlanta, moved to Burbank, then to Scranton -- all with them. It's been the foundation of nearly my entire adult life. I haven't had to interview for a job since I was 27, way back during a previous lifetime.

But I'm not going to sit around stewing about it, or badmouth the company, or anything like that. They've been nothing but fair to me, and I have no ill feelings toward them. Except, you know, for the firing part....

So there you go. I don't know what the next few months will bring. I'm embarking on a voyage into the unknown, and it's damn scary. At this point I don't even want any beer nuts.

I'll try to be funny next time, but I'm not making any promises.

See ya 'round.


Last updated
01/17/12 12:11 PM

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