crap in a Bundt pan...
Due to the
recent well-publicized shortage of
amateur websites produced by assholes who consider themselves to be
have been called into action. My name is Jeff Kay, and Iím an
Ugly American living
on the cusp of a mid-life crisis, near Scranton, PA. And Iím here to
State of My Fat Ass A journal of
sorts, updated every once in a while.
My cell phone rang while I was at work yesterday, and it was a
California bigshot acting all flustered and frantic. He asked if I could
join him for breakfast at 7 am on Tuesday, and I said sure. But why, and
where? He'd go over the why when I got there, he said, and the where is
the Radisson in Scranton.
I immediately called my boss, to see what in the cafeteria-style hell
was going on, and didn't get a good feeling from the conversation. In
fact, my stomach almost came out of my ass. Big changes are afoot, he
said, and there's a possibility I'll be a "casualty." Casualty??
He told me he didn't know for sure what had been decided, but I should
hope for the best and prepare for the worst. To tell you the truth, I'm
not really a fan of any of it.
So, I went down to Scranton this morning, sat in the upscale restaurant
at the Radisson there, and was informed that my job is being eliminated.
Over coffee and croissants. I was then taken into a small conference
room, and spoke with a human resources person via speakerphone. He
discussed the severance package, and answered the two or three questions I
Then I shook hands with the guy who came to give me the news, and that
was that. Effective April 1 I'll no longer have a job. Nothing personal,
mind you, purely a business decision. I walked out to my car, got in,
and drove home in a daze. I listened to a local talk radio show, but
couldn't tell what they were "outraged" about today.
I'm still in shock and, deep down, don't think I really believe it yet.
I've been with that company (formerly my company) for more than
seventeen years. I started in Atlanta, moved to Burbank, then to
Scranton -- all with them. It's been the foundation of nearly my entire
adult life. I haven't had to interview for a job since I was 27, way
back during a previous lifetime.
But I'm not going to sit around stewing about it, or badmouth the
company, or anything like that. They've been nothing but fair to me, and
I have no ill feelings toward them. Except, you know, for the firing
So there you go. I don't know what the next few months will bring. I'm
embarking on a voyage into the unknown, and it's damn scary. At this
point I don't even want any beer nuts.
I'll try to be funny next time, but I'm not making any promises.