By the way, before we get started here… I want to make it clear that I don’t REALLY use a Moleskine notebook. They’re fairly pretentious. Also, they cost about twelve bucks each, versus the ones I buy at Target for a dime.
The only time I used an actual Moleskine was during our trip to England. It fit perfectly in my jacket pocket, and I’d take it to the pub after dinner, have a few Boddington’s (it was only Boddington’s or Stella Artois in the hotel bar), and scribble down the day’s events.
I liked that little notebook, and decided to buy another one for everyday use. But it didn’t take. I felt like a douche whenever I’d break it out, and quickly switched back to the tried and true ten-cent Back to School special. For some reason I don’t feel as self-conscious with a regular notebook.
Also, I’ve been using the Evernote phone app, more and more. It’s starting to take the place of notebooks, and eventually I’ll make the switch completely. It’s a great tool for jotting down insensitive thoughts and observations, and I use it every day. I also have Evernote installed on my two computers, and can view my notes on any of them. Everything goes to a cloud drive, and I love it. Plus, it’s free.
What’s the most pretentious thing in your life? Or, more precisely… what’s something you use (or do) that could be misconstrued as pretentious? Please tell us about it.
I was looking at boxer briefs a few weeks ago. Every pair I own has collapsed, and some should probably be burned or buried. It doesn’t take long… three or four months and they’re shot. I thought I could maybe buy a better quality, and they’d last longer. So, I looked at Macy’s (I think), and almost swallowed my tongue. I checked out Calvin Klein, and that sort of thing… and they cost $25 per pair! I about shat.
There’s simply no way. My wiener would probably start putting on airs, and maybe even take to wearing an ascot and monocle. Talk about pretentious! My scrotum will be seated in only the world’s finest fabrics…
So, like the notebooks, I’ll just stick with the tried and true. If it’s good enough for Michael Jordan, it’s good enough for me. Screw it. Sure, they become distended and misshapen after six or eight washings, but I’m not paying $25 for a single ball sock. Good god!
What do you have on this subject? Is there anything in your life that might cause assholes to snort derisively, and mumble ‘what a pretentious cock’? If so, now’s your chance to confess. Also, have you ever avoided things you might otherwise enjoy, for fear of being perceived as a pretentious cock? You know, like a Moleskine notebook, or up-town britches?
Shit, this was supposed to be a one paragraph disclaimer…
I’ve started watching Freaks and Geeks on Netflix. They just added it to the streaming service, and I don’t think I’ve seen it since it originally aired. What a great show. It, and My So-Called Life, are two of the best TV programs about the challenging middle school and high school experience.
Paul Feig, who created Freaks and Geeks, has written two memoirs. The first is about his pre-teen years, and the second is about high school and beyond. In Superstud, the second book, there’s an excruciating chapter in which he describes the night he almost became a paraplegic, while trying to give himself a blowjob. An entire chapter… with loads of detail.
Yes, it’s quite memorable. I read a lot, and enjoy the offbeat shit, but that particular section of his second book sticks out in my mind. Is there such a thing as too much honesty? Perhaps, but I’m glad some folks don’t recognize society’s rules.
What’s your favorite coming-of-age movie or TV show? And is there a moment in a book you’ve read, which made you think, “Holy shit. If that ever happened to me, I’d never tell a person about it!” What jumps immediately to mind? If someone asked me that question, I’d blurt, PAUL FEIG TRYING TO BLOW HIMSELF!! Without a moment’s hesitation.
Finally, did you ever build model cars, and that sort of thing? Some of you youngsters might not even know what I’m talking about, but the old farts do. I tried to get into it when I was a kid, but it was too much like math. There was only one way of doing it, no room for improvisation, and I don’t do well in those circumstances.
Steve – who is a math professor now – LOVED building models. And I – who sat in the back of every math class and made sarcastic remarks – couldn’t stand it. Why not just buy an already put together car? That’s what I always wanted to know. Why in God’s name would you want to purchase a million parts that can be glued together to create a plastic car?? It made no sense to me. It was a giant hassle in a box.
But every kid back then dabbled in it, so I gave it shot. And it wasn’t for me, so I moved on. Sort of like my experience with the Baptist church… I also couldn’t stand those ridiculous LEGO sets my kids would get when they were younger. Not just regular LEGO sets, but ones that went together to create a pirate ship, or whatever. They made me insane, just like model cars did in the 1970s.
Did you ever mess with those things? There was a store in Dunbar (House of Toys) that had a giant wall of model kits – literally hundreds to choose from – and I don’t think anyone even sells them anymore. What’s your experience with that dubious fad? Steve’s room was filled with them, and I think I had one or two that looked like a monkey with severe head injuries tried to put them together.
I’m calling it a day, my friends. Have yourselves a great weekend!
I’ll see ya soon.