Your Most Hated Vegetables, Domain Names, and a Little Easter Phil

Before we get started today, I’d like to introduce you to our newest sponsor, Josh Kohlbach.  Josh has a new eBook available, a how-to on creating and running a mini website design business, and has chosen to promote it at the Surf Report.  His ads will be running in the sidebar, for at least a month.

I wish Josh all the best, and want to give his project a little added exposure.  So, here ya go.

Please note that I haven’t read the book, and am not making any endorsements or anything.  And please also note that our not-so-humble site is a great (and shockingly cheap) place to promote your book or CD or website, and I’ll do what I can to send folks your way.

Thank you for your consideration.

And since we’re on the subject…  I just purchased yet another domain name.  Well, I guess I didn’t purchase it, I signed a lease.  In any case, I’m now in control of FurtherEvidence dotcom.

I was kind of surprised it was available, so I snagged it.  Roughly 99 percent of domain names I check are already gone.  Oh yeah, I’m a serial domain-checker, from way back.

A few days ago I checked one, and it said YOUR DOMAIN IS AVAILABLE!, and I couldn’t believe it.  It was a really cool and semi-witty name.  But then I started reading the fine print, and it said it was available “from a broker” for $130,000.  And the floor of my ass nearly fell out.

I even placed a bid once on a domain, in some sort of mysterious international auction (my bid was translated into euros), and got blown out of the water by some whistle dick in Germany or somesuch.

Over the years I’ve “owned” many names, and have only actually used a few of them.  What about you?  Do you get into this sort of thing?  Care to tell us what domains you currently or once owned?  Use the comments link below.

JeffKay dotcom will always be mine, even though I’m not currently using it for anything; it just redirects to TheWVSR.  But there are several other Jeff Kays out there, and I don’t want them having it.  The pricks.  I own it, so they cannot.  Pass the beer nuts.

Since Easter is coming up, I thought I’d link to a classic loosely-related Phil Hendrie clip.

Remember, Phil is the host, and also doing the voice of the guest (Clara Bingham).  The caller, a Catholic priest, is real.  The whole thing devolves into laughter near the end, in one of the few times Phil completely lost it.

And now I’m going
to leave you with another question from the Stealing Clive Bull‘s Topics desk.

On last night’s show Clive was asking callers what vegetables they hate the most.  And I’d like to get your feedback on that one, as well.

I’ll start the ball rolling…  I can’t stand asparagus, or okra.  Both are slimy and disgusting.  I’m also not a huge fan of zucchini and squash.  Is squash a vegetable, or fruit?  It doesn’t really matter… it’s kinda musky-tasting, and is like the food version of a house with moisture trouble.

Here’s the list that prompted Clive’s question, and I have a big issue with number four.  I mean, seriously.  Fungus is not a vegetable.  But just so you know, I don’t like number four (fungus) either.

How could someone “hate” celery, though?  I don’t get that one.

In the South (as well as Cracker Barrel) macaroni and cheese is considered a vegetable.  Just thought you should know.

And it’s utter chaos around here.  There was only a half-day of school today, and our house is overrun by 14 year old boys starting every sentence with “Dude.”  One fancies himself a drummer and keeps hammering any solid surface, as if he has no control over his actions.  The music is in him, maaan.

I’ll see you guys next time, whenever that happens to be.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Now playing in the bunker

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71 Responses to “Your Most Hated Vegetables, Domain Names, and a Little Easter Phil”

  1. I still say dude, and drum on things. It’s a man thing.


  2. All vegetables can go take it up the ass. I don’t like them and they’re not food. Food is when something has died a vicious and bloody death.


  3. Top tree.


  4. Cook the asparagus properly, maaaan!


  5. I don’t get eggplant. What lays it?


  6. Having said that though, I would not mind being that celery in the picture.


  7. One other thing: asparagus makes my pee smell funny. Anyone else?


  8. Boy, I don’t hate any of Britain’s top-ten. But I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a parsnip, so who knows, maybe I hate them.

    –And I wrote this whole post before I reached Jeff’s sentence “And how could someone ‘hate’ celery? I don’t get it.” So the below paragraph was written independently of Jeff’s comment. And I swear, my “I don’t get it” was written before I read the same sentence by Jeff.–

    But celery at number one? Why would someone hate celery? Why would so SO MANY people hate celery? I don’t get it. Celery seems like a pretty innocuous vegetable — it doesn’t have a nasty taste, in fact it barely has any taste at all. And it’s crunchy and has a nice groove in the middle for dips or for spreading cheese or peanut butter. Perhaps there are celery-hating Surf Reporters who can fill me in on why anyone would hate celery. (And by the way, I LOVE mushrooms! (Or “fungus,” if you prefer.)


  9. Oh, by the way I think that I “own” and
    Does that make me an internet presence?


  10. Parsnips are actually pretty good if cooked right. They’re sort of turnip-tasting in a carrot shape.

    Domain name that made me laugh the hardest when I saw it (don’t know if it’s still active or not, but it was NSFW): eatmyfarts dot com


  11. Most hated vegetable: PEAS. To this day, they make me gag. Jeff, you should try fresh asparagus – it bears absolutely NO resemblance to the slimy stuff that comes out of cans! It is wonderful, I promise. Grill it sometime… you will change your mind. I agree with okra – I have lived in the South most of my adult life, and I have YET to eat one bite of okra that wasn’t the slimiest, most disgusting thing ever! It has to be one of those foods that caught on during a time when there was NO OTHER FOOD to be had. Like collard greens.

    Oh, and I hate lettuce, too.

    I know only one other person who likes celery, other than myself, and that is my mother. Everyone else hates it (unless it is thrown in with the holy trinity of cajun foods).


  12. I hate most vegetables but broccoli is the worst, The smell is enough to make me gag. Peas are horrible with beans right behind. Asparagus and okra should be eliminated from the face of the earth… and don’t get me started on fruits…


  13. I’m not a fan of lima beans, nor brussels sprouts.


  14. Tomatoes are fruit and, therefore, have no place on a hated “vegetables” list. So there.

    No mention of beets? They’re like eating a fistful of dirt, ferchrissakes. Nasty, nasty beets.

    Roast your asparagus w/some parmesan cheese on them. Mmmmmmmmm.
    CADude, that only happens to about 50% of us, and I am one, also. Sweet asparagus. Always reminding me I ate you.

    Happy Thursday, Surfers!


  15. Hey Swami B – Celery is only good if you grout the groove with Cheeze whiz. Cheeze whiz itself is barely food and when in contact with Celery, actually turns kinda watery – that tells you something. I have no idea what it tells you but it must be important information. (I know, I know, osmosis…)

    Mushrooms? In the name of all things Easter (bunnies, eggs, hot cross buns) why why why? Would you eat the fuzzy black shit that grows in the shower that takes all manner of foaming acids to remove? Hey mushroom lovers, try this new mushroom pate!!!! Here, use it as celery grout!!!! I’ll tell you what – That’s go-oo-od eatin’!!!

    Did I casually mention my slight distaste for veggies? OK, back to staring at Barbie with the celery.


  16. Parsnips and Fennel.


  17. BTW, how can you guys hate peas? You must be eating the canned variety which, I will admit, suck. Fresh frozen peas are delish! But then, I never really met a vegetable I didn’t like. Except for you, beets. You’re nasty.



  18. Dude; is gravel a vegetable? I don’t like to eat gravel, dude.

    I do, however, enjoy drumming on things, dude. Dude; especially drums.


  19. Brussels Sprouts and cabbage.

    You should try grillin asparagus.

    And yes, asparagus does give your pee a nasty stench. I looked it up once and I think it had something to do with the chlorofil. But I’m probably wrong, Dude.


  20. I suspect a bunch of you have based your tastes on non-fresh examples of food. Peas? They’re great, back in the “old days” when we had a garden I would eat them raw outta the pod. Of course, having said that, heres my list of disliked veg, and its not for lack of trying them. I used to make betting money in college by eating things others wouldn’t try.

    -Mushrooms. Hate the texture. Fresh, canned, whatever.
    -Asparagus. Fresh wild asparagus, home grown, store bought, no matter, theres a funky odor right from the start.
    -Lima Beans.
    -Brussel Sprouts. Always seem bitter. Regardless of who prepared them.


  21. you folks are nuts. I like every single vegetable mentioned here. What the hell do you eat if not vegetables? Its official i will henceforth only cook for knucklehead.


  22. Good Afternoon Surf Reporters….

    Brussel Sprouts are Cabbage testicles.

    Only a few vegetables I can’t handle. Cooked spinach. Raw spinach in salads is fine, but cooked is like you grabbed a handful of mulched grass out of the lawnmower bag and wetted it down. Yurk.

    Eggplant. Something about the consistency turns me off.
    Don’t dig the squash, but can handle zucchini if it’s fresh.

    Tomatoes are good as long as they’re not soft and mushy. Then it’s no freakin’ way.

    Onions. Love them cooked or sauteed, will not eat them raw.


  23. I hate most root vegetables except peanuts and taters. Well carrots are OK. Okra blows dead bears (I’m trying to bring that saying back). The only thing worse is eggplant.

    Celery and carrots are really good in stew and celery is good with peanut butter. Otherwise celery is kinda bitter.
    Corn and baby limas are good together.

    I ‘rent’ cwahart dot com, you should go there and read stuff…although all of it has been on mockable. (RIP)


  24. First off I agree with TQM, you have to cook it right, which also means you have to buy fresh asparagus. If your only experience is with canned it might explain your dislike. Last night while my chicken was on the grill I took a large skillet and sauteed a big heaping mound of the green spears in olive oil, salt, pepper and just a squeeze of fresh lemon right before I plated it. Absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. Of course it was all washed down with Flying Dog’s 20th Anniversary beer “Raging Bitch” which is my new favorite of all time.

    I also love mushrooms and feel sorry for people who don’t.

    How can the British not like celery, I thought they boiled everything which would lead me to believe that they would use the classic french vegetable combo mierpiox for stews and such. Maybe they don’t like the French much, maybe I’m just an ignorant American.

    I thought by now I would have a vegetable that I hate but I think I like them all. I have not had okra but I did watch Alton Browns show on okra and it looks like it’s pretty good if you know how to cook it. I would eat it if Paula Deen made it.


  25. In order of revulsion:

    BEETS (the antichrist of vegetables) there is no form I would find them palatable or acceptable.
    Lima Beans (unless baked)
    Brussel Sprouts (unless wrapped in bacon and cheese)

    The rest of them I pretty much enjoy. With spinach, asparagus & broccoli as my faves


  26. WB in Ohio,
    I also watch the Food Network. I try to watch Giada De Laurentiis’ cleavage cook whenever I can. I think she’s cuter than a speckled pup.

    …at this time.


  27. I just can’t understand how anyone could dislike shrooms! (of course I’ll be the first one to admit I don’t understand a lot of things). I’ll take them in any form….fired, fresh, baked, magic(after I ETS of course), etc…


  28. @ sidney- ETS???


  29. @TILLY…ETS is Expiration Term of Service from the military. Two more years and freeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!


  30. Okra and eggplant are only acceptable if they are double deep-fried to within an inch of their lives and smothered with some unhealthy variety of sauce. Other than that, veggies rock, dude! My colon loves me.

    I’m off to eat my braised red cabbage with apples and, of course, BACON.


  31. How can brussel sprouts not be on that list?! Or anyone’s list?!


  32. I have no respect for parsnips, turnips, or okra. That’s probably because my mom didn’t serve them much when I was growing up, but I like all the rest, even the dreaded celery. How can you make chicken salad without a few slices of celery? Serve brussels sprouts with a creamy blue cheese salad dressing, like Marie’s. Delicious!


  33. Most hated vegetables: onions, and any vegetable that comes in a can. I will pretty much eat any other veggie if it’s fresh, but I’m not overly fond of brussel sprouts or beets.

    Domain names/websites that we own:

    The VHSPS website is for our new business. The second one is my husband’s blog, and the last two are not active yet. (I’ve tried to link the retrollama domain name to my Tumblr site, but have had no luck with that).

    PS: Squash and zucchini are fruits


  34. Asparagas — marinate it in italian dressing and grill it — awesome! I have never eaten a brussel sprout on acounta I’m pretty confident I wouldn’t like it. HATE beets.


  35. If we’re getting technical, I believe okra, eggplant, avocados, peppers, cucumbers, and green beans are botanical fruits as well.

    I’m no scientist and it’s been YEARS since I’ve seen the inside of a classroom, so don’t quote me on that.


  36. I can’t stand beets, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, boiled okra or fiddleheads [They're baby ferns, people, and taste like swamp and sweaty tail...]

    My most hated vegetable, however, is CORN. I HATE IT. I don’t care if it’s canned, boiled, baked, deep fried or right on the frigging cob. I HATE IT.

    I eat it, but I hate it.


  37. Raw broccoli can go to hell. Navy beans, Lima beans, and Butter beans can go to hell. I like okra if it’s fried or pickled. I also like pickled beets. Oh, and of course brussel sprouts are bullshit.

    I guess my favorite vegetable is popcorn.


  38. At least three entries on that list aren’t vegetables. What a bunch of fuckwits.

    I wasn’t aware that you could buy canned asparagus. Why? Fresh asparagus, drizzle with olive oil, a little salt, a little white pepper, toss to coat, bake for 8 to 10 mins depending on thickness (of the asparagus, not yourself) at 400F, drizzle with balsamic vinegar, devour.

    Parsnips would be my #1, beets in my top 5.

    Cooked spinach is like eating grass.


  39. cooked spinach is gross

    grilled asparagus is awesome.

    mushrooms can blow yogi after he dies.

    eggplant, tried it recently, not a fan.

    I don’t love brockly but I can eat it. In stir fry I kill it first just to get it out of the way.

    Iceberg lettuce is the devil.

    And of course, Terry Schiavo.


  40. I hate celery not so much for the taste but because of the strings.
    Brussel sprouts are nasty little foul smelling bastards and the flavor isn’t any better. Not a fan of cabbage unless it’s been turned into sauerkraut or cole slaw. Everyone I know hates okra though I saw some okra pickles that didn’t look bad but I’d hate to be stuck with the whole jar if it turns out they sucked.


  41. Broccoli, carrots and asparagus are delectable when steamed on the stovetop briefly. Firm, sweet and yummy. A little butter on top for those whose low-density lipoprotein levels are under 120 or under 200 if nobody’s looking. If you want to blanch first, plunge on in if it’s OK with Blanch.

    Corn and peas are my favorite vegetables, at this time (that’s code for “cracker” isn’t it?).

    Eat healthy, act healthy, masturbate often.

    I think that’s Birdseye Foods’ slogan, but I might have part of that wrong.

    best as always…jtb


  42. Beets: a red stain on the vegetable fambly
    Brussel Sprouts: full body shivers just seeing them in a bowl
    Spaghetti Squash: it’s NOT Pasta Dude!


  43. and I pee asparagus stench no matter HOW they’re cooked


  44. And it would be a kick in the pants and a soul booster for everyone involved if not Oprah came back from Nunavut at this time, or soon and often.

    I despair of seeing her and the sled team again. Also, I despair of ever getting out of second place on West Virginia’s Most Wanted. Cummon Lee Harvey…just three shots in five seconds and you’ll catch up.



  45. Down in Dallas, down in Dallas,
    Where the sirens shred the night,
    Lee Oswald nailed Jack Kennedy up
    On the cross of a rifle sight.

    …………from “Down in Dallas” by X J Kennedy


  46. I worked in a produce distribution warehouse for a major Canadian grocery chain for four years, even fresh asparagus stinks and a lot of you are nuts.

    How can anyone hate iceburg lettuce? What I hate is that you can’t get a regular salad in restaurants anymore…nowadays all chef salads are based on spring mix instead of iceburg or green leaf lettuce…no thanks, keep your fucking dandelion’s off my plate.

    Mushrooms have little taste, other than hint of dirt. I feel sorry for people that consider them a food.

    KoRn is a band, not a food.

    Vegetables are what food eats.


  47. The asparagus thing got me thinking so I turned to the experts at Wikipedia for this tidbit:

    “…it is now believed that most people produce the odorous compounds after eating asparagus, but only about 22% of the population have the autosomal genes required to smell them.”

    Unfortunately, I am among the 22% and wish I weren’t. Blech!


  48. Never met a veg I didn’t like, eventually as long as it isn’t overcooked. When I was a kid, mashed turnips were a standard at large family dinners, they were in the root cellar so we ate them. Hated them then, like them now. Same with parsnips.

    Oh, one exception… Canned peas. I’ve always hated canned peas. Fresh or frozen? Love them. But I will never eat canned peas.


    I’ve had others that I thought might be useful but let expire…


  49. Thanks for the extra plug Jeff! And yes, your advertising is great value, I’d encourage anyone else to sign up for it!

    And Bitter Melon is a vegie (or fruit? I’m not even sure) that can goto hell.

    It’s among the top 3 most disgusting things I’ve eaten, and I’ve eaten a witchetty grub. Mmm.. Australian delicacy ;)


  50. Technically speaking any part of the plant that is derived from the ovaries is considered fruit, so tomatoes, corn, cucumber, peppers, beans, and grains such as wheat are all fruit. That being said, I’ll go by common usage to avoid arguments.

    I like most vegetables, the exceptions being squash and cabbage, which I can tolerate in small doses. Enjoyment is all in the preparation. Most are better raw, but if you are going to cook them don’t over do it. Also, fresh is preferred with frozen being the best second choice. Very few can well, especially peas. The only canned vegetables I use are corn, beans, and tomatoes. For the record the English delicacy known as “mush peas” is an abomination.

    An interesting bit of trivia: Cabbage, kale, broccoli, cauliflower, brocoflower, collard greens, brussels sprouts, and kohlrabi are all different cultivars of the same species (Wild Cabbage, aka Brassica oleracea). These all arose from the feral Wild Cabbage by human cultivation and breeding.


  51. Lima beans and rutabagas (is that how you spell those nasty things?)

    Anyway- I need surf reporter support tonight- I’ve decided to quit my job and I’ll be giving 30 days notice tomorrow. I need some good juju to find another job. I think this site is good luck!


  52. tadpo, I assume you are in the legal industry?

    Good thoughts your way. Maybe you should buy the book jeff is shilling and start your own web biz.

    What kind of work do you do?


  53. Fucking peas. Oh how I hate fucking peas. In fact, I never use the single word “pea” it’s always “fucking peas”. They ruin any dish they’re added to. That fucking pea taste permeates everything. They’ve fucked up more pot pies and stews than I even care to contemplate. Fucking peas.

    Don’t even get me started on goddamed celery.


  54. @Tyrosine – it’s mushy peas. Real ones are made with bone marrow (mmmm, bone marrow [/Homer]) and are delicious – especially when formed into patties, battered then deep fried.


  55. LOL @ t-storm… now what possessed you to taste her in the first place?


  56. Chuck-Her girls can cook, dude.

    t-storm/Alex-Man that ain’t right, man.

    tadpolegal-Good luck and let us know how it works out.

    Kevindust-I appreciate your sympathy.

    I don’t know why, but I’ve always liked canned peas.


  57. i don’t know what’s wrong with you people! i absolutely love all veggies and fruits. tilly can cook for me any day—i suspect we are kindred spirits. yum. also john the basket. he’d be in danger from me if i were single.


  58. Dorothy,

    It’s great to hear from you. Should the hubby run off with a chorus girl (he’d be crazy to do so, but these things happen), I would place myself at your disposal.

    It really is good to see your comment. I was worried that YOU had run off with a chorus girl or one of those lounge singers.

    Welcome back…jtb


  59. Somebody, prolly me, forgot to renew our work site domain name a few years back. It was relatively cheap to buy back, though–$40,000 as I recall. We said fukkit cause we we in the middle of changing our name anyway. Thai ass-turds.

    Every now and then I type the old address in if I’m at somebody’s else computer and it still pulls up the same old search site. They should’ve taken the $200 I offered and been happy.


  60. After a little wiki research (Yes I’m stuck at work, bored as hell) Jeff is indeed correct fungi are not vegetables, in fact they do not belong to either the plant or animal kingdom. BUT before you pick on fungi, let it be known that YEAST is a member of the fungi family. Yes my friends without the eukaryotic micro organisms known as yeast beer, bread and wine would not exist as we know it. ALL HAIL FUNGI!!!


  61. Respect to fungi!


  62. Alex,
    It wasn’t like she was saying no.


  63. @djb – bigfuckingrobotpunchingthingsinthehead, i am intriged am off to check it out not.

    I looked up ‘’ in a ‘brilliant’ idea i had for a webside years ago but someone nabbed it but was not using it.

    Long live fungi!!!

    I haven’t been on here in awhile. Gawd you clowns are funny.

    Love most vegies except those of the turnip/parsnip type. Beets – only in borscht.

    Yes Jeff, if your asparagus is mushy, you are not cooking it right.


  64. lol – ‘now’ not ‘not’.


  65. Oh…and Duke sucks.
    At this time.


  66. Great Googly Moogly – that is EXACTLY my feeling about peas. Fresh, frozen, canned, doesn’t matter. Instant gag reflex.

    Am I the only one who loves brussels sprouts? I love them!

    And edamame. I could live forever on edamame.


    A true vegetable story.

    I almost never eat beets, hadn’t eaten any beets in years.

    Several years ago, I took the plunge & ate a fair amount. The next day I produced a bright red BM.

    What’s your first thought? Me too!

    The next thing I know, I’m in the hospital with a TV camera being shoved up my tailpipe. Naturally, they found nothing out of whack.

    Lesson learned: do NOT eat beets; beets are OUT TO GET YOU!

    Today’s quote(s):

    “Most vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children. A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussels sprouts never do.”
    P. J. O’Rourke (The Bachelor’s Home Companion)

    “McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know, they fatten them up and then kill them. You know, the same thing they do to their customers, right?” Jay Leno


  68. I am a big fan of brussel sprouts, as well as the rest of the cruciferous vegetable family (Cabbage, kale, broccoli, cauliflower, brocoflower, collard greens, brussels sprouts, and kohlrabi; Wild Cabbages of all sorts, aka Brassica oleracea – thanks Tyrosine). Now I understand why the wod-root ‘kohl’ is found in the German word for most of these veggies.

    I actually learn a thing or two from reading these comments from time to time.

    A good brussel sprout recipe:

    The few times that I have cooked brussel sprouts this way, I have cooked the bacon first, then left them aside and added them at the last minute so that it remains crisp.

    A bowl of corn indeed.


  69. wod-root?!? lets try word-root


  70. I ate too many chocolate bunnies.


  71. zucchini is good if you slice it and marinate it and grill it along with mushrooms, onions, and meat on a shish-kebob skewer.


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Thanks for stopping by! My name is Jeff Kay, I was born while JFK was president, and it's all very embarrassing and corny. Today I'm a suburban husband and father, who is sometimes accused of being a bit tightly-wound. The West Virginia Surf Report! is my creative outlet, and insurance policy against completely losing my shit. I hope you'll stick around and participate in the lively community of geniuses and curmudgeons who hang out here every day. I love a full 87% of them! And while you're at it, please follow me at Twitter and Facebook.

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