A few days ago Toney and I were talking about the cable channels we watch. I think we receive roughly six million, but only actually tune in to a handful of them.
I watch Nickelodeon (it’s continuously running at all times), Fox News, NBC (Friday Night Lights only), ABC (LOST only), and that’s about it. In fact, I barely watch TV at all. I see less of it now, than at any time in my life – and have more choices than ever before.
Funny how that works, huh? Back when we had twelve channels (nothing was ever on 1), and were forced to turn a hand-crank to switch from one to another, I logged many daily hours in front of the flickering light. And now that we have 500, or whatever, I rarely watch.
In addition to my “favorites,” Toney only watches two or three additional stations, and the boys are partial to Discovery and the History Channel.
They watch MythBusters, and some show featuring a Brit with a pronounced underbite, who escapes from ridiculous situations. I’ve seen him wearing a jumpsuit of bees, and hanging upside-down with his head inside a clothes hamper full of water (I think).
Whenever he’s not on fire, or nailing his forearm to a porch railing, the dude looks like a cash register with the drawer open. And I find that to be distracting.
The History Channel, as far as I can tell, should have a little Hitler mustache in the bottom right-hand corner of the screen. It should be their logo, because World War II is the only thing they cover. Hasn’t there been other history?
The Secrets also watch a lot of shows with titles such as Air Shows Gone Horribly Wrong, Assholes Under Arrest, and When Shit Flies Apart. But I don’t know who broadcasts those gems.
I’m not exaggerating when I say we watch less than fifteen channels, out of the hundreds we’re paying for. In fact, I can only tell you, without cheating, the channel numbers for Fox News (64), NBC (is it always 3, everywhere in the country?), and possibly ABC (2?). And that’s it. Nickelodeon is never off, so it’s not necessary for me to ever go looking for it… And I don’t watch anything else.
What about you? How many channels can you name by number, off the top of your head?
Occasionally I read where some grandstanding politician suggests a new government regulation, which would force cable providers to allow customers to only pay for the channels they watch.
It would be an a la carte situation, and I don’t know how I feel about it. At first it seems like a good idea. But many channels would instantly disappear, like that weird stuff way up in the 200s, I think, and we’d have a lot less available to us.
And yeah, I know it’s survival of the fittest, and all that. Believe me, I agree. But I also like channel surfing every once in a while, and maybe discovering something freaky and mind-blowing on a channel I’ll never be able to locate again. I don’t take advantage of the choices too often, but I’m glad they’re there. For some reason…
How much TV do you watch? Are you like me, and see less today than at any time in history? What channels do you frequent, and can you name their number off the top of your head?
Any opinions on the a la carte scheme? If it cost $5.00 per month to subscribe to a channel, and you didn’t want to go over $25.00, which ones would you choose? What would be your essential five?
And this is a quickie, typed like a freakin’ email. They’re usually longer, and a little better crafted. But I’m running radically short of time here.
I’ll do better tomorrow, I promise.
See ya then.