Your Favorite Burgers, and a Few Other Things

Thanks to everyone who participated in our Blues Singers in the Kitchen! project yesterday.  It’s important work we do here… and I appreciate your superior efforts.

The Surf Report is blocked at my job (99% of the internet is clamped-down), but I receive an email every time there’s a new comment.  And I was reading the names of your “singers” last night, and giggling like a fat mama’s boy who’s just been handed a tray of Cinnabon.

Stay tuned for the next room.  This is going well, I think.

Speaking of work, it’s been kicking my ass from here to there.  We’re extremely busy, as well as short-handed.  And that’s a perfect storm that leads to me waking up with lower back pain every morning.  Today I felt like that agony of defeat skier, the day after.  Sweet sainted mother of Funky Winkerbean!

But today is my Friday, and if I can make it through the night without encountering some life-changing tragedy, I’ll be free until Sunday afternoon.

Tomorrow I have a full docket.  The T-Shirt Lady sent me an email this morning letting me know the M.I.A. shirts are ready for pick-up.  So, I’ll be driving to her workshop (elves work there), and picking up the last ten shirts.

Then I’m gonna buy a giant tankard of McDonald’s sweet tea, park in the shade somewhere, and put shirts into envelopes.  I will then proceed to the post office and mail every shirt still owed, along with a couple of new Evil Twin orders.  Once again, I’m sorry for the delay.  It was, as they say, beyond my control.

After the shirt task is completed, I will be heading to Scranton to have our propane tank filled.  I forgot to turn off our grill a few weeks ago, and ran every bit of gas out of the thing.  Heh.  It’s a wonder something didn’t go awry, and the rear of our house wasn’t incinerated.

Stupid grills…  Shouldn’t they have an automatic shut-off, in case they’re being used by a guy who’s been drinking Yuengling Lager all evening?  Wotta rip-off.  I think I’m going to hire a lawyer and file a boxer brief in superior court, or whatever.

Friday will be devoted to the “book,” and Saturday I hope to spend some time with the family.  I think I still remember what they look like…  I have a very good memory.

Today the mailman (Mr. Mehlman) brought me a DVD containing 768 episodes of Fibber McGee and Molly.  768!  And the thing cost me $4.74, including shipping and handling.  Pretty cool, huh?

Slowly but surely I’m building a massive old time radio archive.  Most of it’s available for free on the internet, I know, but I prefer to buy giant collections from reputable dealers.  They usually have every episode still in existence, and offer the best sound quality.  I also like having it all in one convenient place, and it’s always shockingly cheap.

Next on my want list:  Fred Allen.  Pass the beer nuts.

And speaking of stuff I really like.  Have you ever used a Pilot “Dr. Grip” pen?  Someone gave me two for Christmas (if you can dig it), and I resisted using them for a long time.  You know, because they’re ridiculously… pudgy.  But now I’m a complete convert.

Am I the only one who really loves office supplies?  I’ve always been strangely fond of notebooks and pens and stuff like that.  When I go to Target I always make a point of looking at the DVDs, the CDs, the books, and office supplies.  Right now it’s really cool, because they have all their back to school stuff out.

Is that unusual?  Somehow I suspect it is.  Oh well.

Finally, according to Zagat the best fast food burger is served by… Five Guys.  As you can probably guess, I’m not going to argue with their findings.  I’m a long-time fan of Five Guys.

Here’s the link to the full survey.  Do you have any thoughts on the results?  I think In-N-Out has terrible fries, and don’t believe they should even appear on the fries list.  And I’m happy to see Wendy’s receiving some respect.  I don’t care if their restaurants are everywhere, their burgers are fantastic.

In place of an actual Question, please let us know what you think of the survey.  Also, where did you have the best burger of your life?  Make this a restaurant, please, not a cookout at your Uncle Carl’s house in 1987.  The rest of us can’t really relate to Carl and all his mental problems.

And, of course, your comments on anything else are welcome, as always.

I’ll see you guys again on Sunday.

Have a great weekend!

Now playing in the bunker

Visit the Surf Report Souvenir Shop!

255 Responses to “Your Favorite Burgers, and a Few Other Things”

  1. First?

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  2. top 5?

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  3. hey-oh!

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  4. Because of you, I have been watching and waiting for the first Five Guys to open here — reportedly coming by the fall – so this survey just iced the cake. However, I have to disagree with Zagat, and you, when it comes to Wendy’s. At least down here, Wendy’s is the most poorly managed group of surly employees I have ever seen, and their food is absolutely inedible. They actually wait till the food is cold, then they flatten the life out of it, before putting it out there before an unsuspecting public.

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  5. I’m obsessive about pens. I’m a nurse, and I work in a unit that actually still does paper charting, so a good pen makes my day go by faster. I never loan my good pens to others, especially doctors. They are notorious pen thieves.

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  6. I also like office supplies. Tricky notebooks and pens. I like the G2 pens…they write real nice. Speaking of notebooks does anyone remember the Nifty notebooks that closed at the top with a magnetic closure? My teachers would have a fit because the paper for them had the holes at the top and wouldn’t fit into their regular old-fashioned side-loading notebooks.

    I’ve had real good burgers at Shoney’s. Probably many would disagree but I really like them. Wendy’s are good too considering they are a big chain. Much better than Mickey’s anyway, which is a left handed comment I guess.

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  7. Top Ten-ish? at least while i’m typing.

    Best burger ever is the Kobe beef burger at the Issaquah Brewhouse her in greater Pugetropolis. It is large, cooked to perfection, and the epitome of what a great burger should be. It is also consistent, i know every time that it will be the best burger. So i got that going for me.

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  8. That survey is a gigantic bucket of fail. Burger King fries? Please. And IHOP coffee? Awful.

    yuck yuck yuck

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  9. One of the best burgers I ever had was at a place on the Jersey Shore called “Maggies”. We were drawn to the place because they had 2 Happy Hours, the first being 6:00 – 10:00 AM YES AM – for the local fishermen.

    Another fantastic burger place is a little hole in the wall in Purdys, NY called The Blazer. One guy used to land his helicopter there! Awesome fries, too.

    Chain places? I like Wendy’s but haven’t been to a fast fod place in a while.

    And I LOVE those pens, Jeff. I love office supplies and can spend hours in a stationery store.

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  10. I love me some office supplies. I might have some sort of fetish. I could just roll around in bins of paperclips, thumb tacks, and rubber bands al day. I like seeing how I can build erector set types of thins with tape and pen holders. .

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  11. I love the Pilot G2 pens, they’re the only ones I buy.

    The best burgers I’ve had in Cincinnati are at Quatman’s Cafe. I can’t remember burgers from anywhere else though I do enjoy Five Guys.

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  12. I LOVE office supplies!!! or school supplies–whatever! a new book of fresh paper, new pens, love it!!! and I love the Dr. Grip. Someone left one here after our spring reception and it’s MINE NOW!!!! Thanks!!!

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  13. In-N-Out has great fries if you order them right. Get them cooked extra and have them put a slice of cheese in the middle of the stack and on top of the stack. Then have them put grilled onions on top of it all. I get my burgers “Flying Dutchman” style at In-n-Out. Man I might have to go into Tucson this afternoon to get me some.

    I like McDonalds cheese burgers, those little bite size ones that come in happy meals. They aren’t my favorite though. As far as chain places go I would have to say “Steak and Shake” and “Wendy’s” are tied for my first place. I like Jack in the Box too though.

    The best burger I’ve ever had was some fancy uppity place in Los Angeles. It was connected to the Lobby of the Hotel Roosevelt on Hollywood Blvd. Its name was “Restaurant 21” or some such dumb shit. It had fully customizable burgers. I got a ribeye/sirloin burger, cooked medium, on a sesame seed potato bun. I kept the toppings simple; sweet onions sautéed into almost an onion paste, sun dried tomatoes, and smoked mozzarella. Oh man I am drooling over my keyboard like a retard on a bus window.

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  14. I hate places that try to doll up fries just so they can charge 7 bucks for them. There is a place in Tucson or Phoenix, I can’t remember which, that puts truffle oil on their fries, and instead of good ol’ Hunts they give you some sort of parmesan aioli. I hate all that. Truffles taste like ivory soap to me, and aioli is just warm mayonnaise with shit in it. The fries tasted like a soapy turd-tube. But not a clean soapy turd-tube, as you would imagine. One that somehow is covered in soap but still has crusty butt-pudding caked all about the inside of the cheeks.

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  15. @icecycle66 – I can heave just THINKING about truffle oil. I also hate when you’re perusing a menu and you come across LOBSTER Mac & Cheese. Why F up a perfectly good mac & cheese by adding lobster? There is no room for lobster in any decent Mac & Cheese. Let the noodles and cheese sauce speak for themselves and stand ont heir own merit.

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  16. This is gonna ruin Hot Fuzz’ diet, people!

    I second the Five Guys vote. And the best fast food fries will always be McDonald’s; Burger King should not have made that list. I just got some with a shake over the weekend. I guess it’s been a long time since I’ve gotten McDonald’s, because the shake was all fancified. There was a flippin’ cherry in it plus whipped cream. I think I like my shakes old school. thank you very much.

    On a side note, the eatery I really miss is Olga’s Kitchen. I understand they’re solely in Michigan now. Great pita wrap sandwiches, excellent curly fries, and a delicious lemonade. Bring it back to PA!

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  17. Jeff,

    The burger @ your yuppie bar, medium rare with bacon and blue cheese, is one of the best I’ve ever had. Other than that, ZinBurger in Tucson can be pretty bitchin’. Fast food = Carl’s Jr $6 Quacamole burger.

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  18. Not a burger but I was driving through State College this weekend and noticed they were building a Chick-Fil-A there. I’m sure it’s been reported before but figured I’d pass it along if not.

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  19. I have never had 5 guys but in light of it’s overwhelming popularity I will have to get me some! I just asked the new girlfriend out to dinner tonight so I think I’m gonna suggest 5 guys. If she says yes, then I know she’s a keeper. If she wants something fancy, like Sizzler, then she gots ta go!

    Oh the best burger I ever had was at the waffle house in St Roberts MO…. After completing BCT and getting our first off post pass. Also had the best waffles there too!

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  20. The best burgers we had were from the long-gone G.D. Ritzy’s fast-food chain here in Columbus. They also made a perfect chocolate malt.
    No offense to Wendy’s fans but I don’t know how they make the top of the list all the time. The sandwiches are marginal at best, but their fries aren’t fit for hogs! They have possibly the worst fries in the industry, all mealy and limp and nasty…YECCCH! They need to take a page out of Steak-N-Shake’s book with the crispy little shoestring fries that you can cover with chili and cheese…now we’re talikin’ fries! Or better yet, Chick-fil-A’s waffle fries, which are also top-notch in my book. I also can’t see how Kentucky Fried Pigeon could beat out Chick-fil-A’s chicken…it’s delicious and Chick-fil-A’s restaurants are very clean and pleasant.
    I haven’t tried a 5 Guys yet, because every time we even think of going there, you couldn’t get in the door without a crowbar! Man, that place is always packed! Now I see why…
    Jeff-more people like office supplies that they’d like to let on…I for one was a big fan of Elmer’s Sno-Drift paste growing up. It had a nice, minty taste!

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  21. The Qweezy Mark: That’s the place with the crappy fries!! ZinBurger.

    Man those fries were worthless.. The burger was okay, not worth the money though. But man, that yuppie atmosphere and the sewage flavored soap fries were enough to keep me out that polished dirt clod.

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  22. I used to used Dr. Grips exclusively, until my work started stocking Zebra Jimnie gels. Those things rock.

    Best burgers – I would go with the Juicy Lucys at the 5/8 Club here in Minneapolis. Cheese on the inside – brilliant!

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  23. There’s a little place here in my hometown that has the best burgers, but it might as well be Uncle Carl’s…so, I would have to go with Culvers Butterburger or a Steak and Shake burger, both are very similiar. Oh and Rally’s serves up a damn juicy burger, I belive they call them Checkers south of the Mason Dixon line. But I never complain at Wendy’s, McDonalds or Burger King. In fact I’m not sure I’ve ever met a burger I didn’t like.

    I’m not obsessed with office supplies but I sure appreciate a well built pen or mechanical pencil…touch my Pentel 0.9 and I’ll kill ya! One of the first things they did at work when the economy took a crap was to cheapen up the pens and pencils. I’ll buy my own thanks.

    And thanks for the update on my shirt. And for the site upgrade, my Droid flies now.

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  24. My pen (inkpen down here) of choice right now is a blue Uniball Signo. I have a couple of 12 packs hidden away in a coworkers secret supply drawer and an assorted colors pack secreted in my middle desk drawer. If anyone else is seen using one, they get the old raised eyebrow where’d you get that pen look.

    I also require college ruled legal pads. White only. No yellow regular ruled ever.

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  25. I have 2 favorite burgers.
    1. A Double Zip Burger with Pepper Jack and Fries at Zip’s Cafe in Mt. Lookout Square in Cincinnati
    2. A Texas Toast Burger with Onion Rings at Huey’s in Memphis.

    They both will take a few years off the back end of your life, but those are the shitty years where nobody wants to take care of your old ass, anyway.

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  26. Is there a Five Guys in Pittsburgh? I have been hearing about their kick-ass burgers for a while now. Can’t wait to try.

    The best burger I’ve had was at a hole-in-the-wall diner in McKees Rocks called The Snack Shop. It used to be open 24 hrs a day. We’d go at 2AM when the bars closed and order a double cheese burger with everything. It was so juicy you almost needed a bib.

    I like Wendy’s burgers. But the hamburger-challenged idiots at the drive thru always get my order wrong. Their fries are like limp dicks too.

    Last but not least…I still love me a Big Mac now and again. Best for a hangover. Mickey D’s fries rock.

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  27. Gretchen – too funny. thanks, made my day

    Adubb – I few buddy’s ‘n me suggested (ok I don’t really talk like that) 5 guys to a girl we knew. She slapped my face. oh wait, you meant the burger chain…

    Best burger I’ve had is consistently good from a place called Steer-Inn north of Toronto. The same short little Greek guy has been running it at least since the early 70′s. Same buns, same fries and onion rings, same burgers, same BBQ sauce. I think it’s time for a pilgrimage. Gretchen, I’ll skip the gravy…

    My home office could be a Staples franchise. I have more pens, pencils, paper, staplers, rulers…. everything. I bet Hoarders would consider it for the excessive quantities (the retentive side) but not for the orderliness (the anal side). I hardly ever use pens or paper anymore (everything is soft copy). Favorite pen right now though is a Paper-mate Profile. Cheap, good color, excellent roller ball, good ink delivery system…smooth as freshly laid goose crap on a hot sidewalk.

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  28. Icecycle66,

    I’ll say the Truffle Fries did nothing for me. You can, however get them plain. Don’t know about those.

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  29. No Jeff, I throughly enjoy looking at office supplies also. I’ve been really wanting to invest in getting a Bonsai tree to put on my desk, which is not an office supply, but since I sit at my desk 40 hours out of the week, a small tree would make me feel closer to the outside when I’m cooped up all day. I’m also infatuated with pens and fancy pen holders and such. We are also very shorthanded at work, and I’ve taken over the positions of two, so I have to come here when I get a breath and unwind. Thanks everyone.

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  30. The hemp burger at the Rainbow Unicorn is simply delightful!

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  31. Best burger I’ve had…that’s a toughie…Actually, Ruby Tuesday’s Smokehouse Burger is my favorite. Cheese, fried onion straws, bbq sauce, and some kind of sweet honey bun, and tons of other fatty goodness. I know you probably weren’t looking for franchises, but this one is my favorite.

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  32. …with a side of seaweed fries

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  33. Damn, icecycle66, you just made me go grill a big, juicy burger with mayo, lettuce tomato, onion, cheese, and pickle, on a seeded bun. Dinner came a little early today.

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  34. @Brittney,
    Odd you would mention Bonsai. Everyday for a week I drove by the same guy selling Bonsai from a van. He had shelves set up in an empty lot with a couple dozen on the shelves. I thought it was a really odd thing to see in Parkersburg, WV. I can’t imagine he was very successful although the trees looked pretty cool. I bet Greg has seen him along 7th Street near Fanelli Boys.

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  35. Yay for PF Changs also!

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  36. Aw man, I wish he would come here, I’d buy one…I

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  37. I’ve heard that Morgantown, WV, is getting a 5 Guys. still waiting. The Dairy Creme Corner, off Exit 137 in Fairmont, has damn good burgers. I think they’re steamed. Get their generous helping of plain ol’ fries. num num You may have to stand in a very long line, though. They close in Oct, so hurry on over before it’s too late.

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  38. @Brittney – we had a few Bonsai trees. Even purchased (and got ripped off) from a guy we’ve since dubbed “Bonsai Bastard”. The are incredibly delicate and a royal pain in the ass to care for. Over the years we’ve lost them all. Sad, really, but Beloved, who has the patience of Job and incredible gardening skills, couldn’t keep up with the tempermental fuckers.

    @bikerchick – I concur – BEST hangover cure: Huge greasy cheeseburger and a gallon of coke on ice.

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  39. I also love office supplies. Any type of Sharpie pen. For everyday writing, I use the Pentel EnerGel .5 Needle tip. I even label them with my initials in case someone walks off with one I can easily retrieve it without a fight.

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  40. @ Chuck: No, I missed the bonzai guy. I live near Emerson Lanes, and don’t run 7th Street as much as I used to. Many long years ago, I had an office near the sheltered workshop, so I did 7th street every day. Now, my outings are mostly limited to North End Market and Walmart. N.E.M. will stop selling food Sept. 1st, due to a new state law regarding the sale of liquor and food in the same store. It will become solely a liquor store.

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  41. Best quote ever!!
    “aioli is just warm mayonnaise with shit in it.”

    My favorite burger is the local Dairy Queen. It’s still the old school burger joint, fried right before your eyes and served dripping with grease.

    Coming in a close second has to be Fuddrucker’s. Awesome burgers, and I was surprised that the ones in Myrtle Beach are jsut as good as the ones I originally had in Tucson, AZ.

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  42. I love fine point pens with blue ink. Hand writing is a lost art form but I still hand write thank you notes and what not. I also love beautiful journals. Especially one’s you can find now that have been hand embellished with vintage/antique findings.

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  43. On the strength of your recommendation I tried 5 guys a few months back. I hate to say it, but I wasn’t impressed. It was just OK, in my opinion.

    For chains, I recently found Fatburger and think it’s pretty great. Cheeburger Cheeburger is also pretty good and they have the best onion rings ever.

    Best burger is hands down Millers Bar in Dearborn, MI. It’s on top lists all over the place and a few years ago made Esquire mag as one of the country’s best.

    Millers is a little dive bar that serves hamburgers or cheeseburgers (from rare to well) and fries or onion rings and drinks. That’s it. They put the cheese on the bottom bun and it keeps the grease from making the burger soggy. The burgers come in wax paper with nothing on them. There’s pickle slices on the table along with Ketchup, Mustard, salt and pepper. You can get raw onion slices if you like. That’s it.

    Best. Burger. Ever.

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  44. Five Guys is consistently great and always a treat.

    The best burger I ever ate was at Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill.
    WOW! Best part was, at $17, somebody else was buying.

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  45. PF Changs has hamburgers? Who knew?
    FYI, the fries at In-N-Out are only good if you eat them right away. They seem to have a half-life of about 1.5 minutes. In fact, by the time you get to the last 1/4 of the fries, they’ve cooled off and are mediocre at best. But they’re still a very good accompaniment to what so far has been the best burger I’ve ever had from a drive-through.
    I just saw that there’s a Five Guys here in OC, CA. And it’s just a couple of miles down the road from (and on the way to) Angel Stadium. Very, very promising. Once the hype dies down, and the Angels return from their latest on-the-road spanking, I’ll be trying one. In the name of science, of course.
    In my experience, “Bonsai” is the Japanese word for “You take me home, I die slowry.”

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  46. My favourite burgers in the Ottawa area are at a place called “The Works” (6 locations)…there are over 60 different burgers on the menu and even some of the offbeat combinations are shockingly good.

    http://www.worksburger.com/pdf/menu.pdf

    My favourite fast food burger is wihout a doubt Harvey’s…and I’m genuinly shocked by Jeff’s ongoing love for Wendy’s. The Wendy’s burgers around here are really, really terrible. It must be a regional or Canadian thing?

    I checked the 5 Guys site and discovered there is one on the way to Montreal, I will have to check them out the next time I am headed in that direction!

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  47. Well, I’m with you Jeff. I LOVE office supplies and can hardly walk past that aisle at Wal-Mart.
    Office Max? Forget it. My head practically explodes trying to resist the pull of the post-its and ball points, tiny staplers and paper clamps. Plus, I always want to buy desk sets: the cool wire mesh in/out baskets or the wicker/rattan (whatever) ones. I would need 20 desks to hold all of the stuff I’ve seen that I want.
    I think it’s evolution. We are direct descendants of the original generation of office drones. We carry their legacy in our pocket-protected DNA.

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  48. Odd isn’t it that the generation in school now is not being taught how to write beyond block printing? Who will buy the Montblancs and Crayola Executive Pens in the future? How depressing…

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  49. Griff-Zip’s is consitently rated one of the top burger joints in Cincy, may have to check it out when I head down for a game on the 31st. What’s the name of the place down there that was recently featured on Man vs Food?

    Damn I’m getting hungry!

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  50. I use shitty pens made by blind people. Otherwise i have to buy my own, and that does not lend well to retiring from society by the time i’m 40.

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  51. “consistently” grumbly belly make for bad spelly!

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  52. Best burger I ever consummed was at a little dive called the Beachcomber in Vienna, WV back in the late 1980s.

    The only burger that I crave now is a Deluxe from Dick’s Drive-in off 45th in Seattle.

    I tried 5 Guys in Pittsburgh due to Jeff’s high rating. Totally don’t get it. The quality was there…it’s just that the burger meat seems really, really bland.

    Red Robin (coming soon to you Easterners) USED to be awesome. Unfortunately, instead of using freshly buger in hand formed patties, they seem to have resorted to frozen, pre-formed patties. Just ain’t the same.

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  53. 1. Sunset Grill – Sanibel Island, FL
    2. Chez Pierre – Tallahassee, FL
    3. Ruby Tuesday – Orlando

    Those are my top 3.

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  54. There’s a local chain in the various cities along the Wasatch Front in Utah called Crown Burger that does a pastrami burger (basically just a hamburger with an equal portion of pastrami on top of the beef patty) that is well worth trying. Good fries too (served with genuine UT “fry sauce”).

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  55. Wow, didn’t expect to see Chez Pierre on the comment board today. I haven’t eaten there in about 15 years now, but used to enjoy it.

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  56. Bikerchick: A Five Guys is being built in Cranberry Township right on route 19. According to their site, they also have locations in Oakland, Tarentum, and Fox Chapel.

    My first time with Five Guys was in Jersey….and that sounds so incredibly dirty that I’m going to leave it up here.

    Hot Fuzz: Not that this has anything to do with burgers, but have you ever been to Tiger Lily’s in Toronto? I keep trying to recreate one of their noodle dishes, to no avail.

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  57. I love 5 guys fries and hot dogs, the burgers not so much. There is a place in Elyria Ohio that has a burger called an Oh Boy. Love them! I loved the jalapeno burger at Wendy’s but they were only a temporary thing. My best burger was from Rubin’s Deli a local place in the Elyria Ohio area. It was an eating experience I will never forget!

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  58. I almost forgot a boyhood favorite–Bob’s Big Boy restaurants. Great burgers and fries–nothing too fancy, just good, solid fare at a time when eating out was a real treat. The original site is still in SoCal, and over the years they expanded and then contracted. Apparently there was a bankruptcy in 2000, and it looks like now most of the remaining restaurants are in Michigan (!). I haven’t been to Bob’s in decades, but I still stock their Bob’s Famous Bleu Cheese Salad Dressing & Duo in my fridge at all times (currently 1.5 jars at home and one in the office fridge for lunchtime salads and/or veggies).
    They franchised under various names–maybe some of you will recognize the good-looking guy out front: http://www.agilitynut.com/08/4/bbobs6.jpg

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  59. If I weren’t currently trying to lose some poundage, I would be on my way to 5 Guys right now to get a little bacon cheeseburger.

    Of the regular fast food places, I think Hardees (Carl’s Jr) is definitely the best.

    Wendy’s and Jack-in-the-Box: meh

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  60. Gretchen. Can’t say that I’ve ever been to Tiger Lily’s. It’s more downtown than I am ever am. The great thing about Toronto is the wide ethnic diversity which translates in to excellent food across the city. With a huge Chinatown, Greektown, Little Italy, and many other pockets of diversity you’re never really stuck for variety. I have to say though that my current Asian favorite is a Haka-Chinese restaurant out near the airport. Haka is a blend of Indian and Southern China dishes. We usually have chicken pakora (red balls of death) and Manchurian Chicken…. omg I’m salivating. The deck is awash!!!! Sometimes it’s so hot if feels like a bullet train racing through your colon.

    Which dish at Tiger Lily’s is your favorite?

    Actually thought of another fairly important local burger place that does a good job. Weber’s is about an hour and a half north of Toronto and is packed on the trip to cottage county. Years ago, they had so many people risking death by running across the highway that they bought a soon to be scrapped metal foot bridge from the CN tower site and had it installed. It’s the only private structure in Canada that straddles a public highway. Their burgers are fantastic (always fresh, never frozen). They have a nice wooded picnic area behind the drive in that just adds to the experience.

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  61. What’s White Castle like? Never been and we don’t have them up here.

    Kevendust – love Harvey’s. Their poutine rocks too. When I was growing up there were rumors that their burgers were made from horse meat. If that’s true (it wasn’t) then all I can say based on the taste is “Giddy up”.

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  62. Hot Fuzz- I ran into a similar problem when I lived in Vegas. I asked a girl if she wanted to go for a little in-n-out? She agreed…. Imagine her surprise when I took my pants off. Imagine MY dismay to find out that was a burger place!!

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  63. White castle is delicious at 3am when drunk and otherwise…. “Under the influence” but if eaten at 6pm, the consequences can be quite dire. Let’s just say the names and nicknames are apt; e.g. Go to the castle, you’ll sit on the throne and they’re called sliders, cuz they slide right in and slide right out.

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  64. White Castle sells boxes of frozen burgers at all the major retail outlets. If you microwave them according to the directions they taste justs like the ones from the actual White Castle burger shops.

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  65. A White Castle burger (or Ratburger, Fartburger, Murderburger) is a two-inch square piece of gristle slathered with onions with pickles and ketchup. Best eaten while drunk. One can easily put down a dozen.

    We’ve got a Smashburger which is very good. Very fresh.

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  66. LOL guys – Maybe that should be their slogan…

    A two-inch square piece of gristle slathered with onions, pickles and ketchup. It slides right in and slides right out.. Delicious at 3am when drunk.

    Put it to music and I think we’ve got something.

    Sounds like all I’m missing is arterial plaque buildup. Thanks for the heads up.

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  67. DC is in the midst of a full-on hamburger joint explosion, with all sorts of “artisanal” burger places cropping up all over the city. I’ve tried most of these places, but the other night I what was the absolute best burger of my life at one of the newer ones, Rogue States, in Dupont Circle: http://aburgergrillingcompany.com/. OMG. It was just incredible. Whereas most places go crazy with the toppings, Rogue States treats their burgers with special ingredients, and they are phenomenal.

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  68. Hot Fuzz: Well, I just went to look up Tiger Lily’s menu online and I found out the place closed in 2004. Oh, RED BALLS OF DEATH!!! Shows you how long it’s been since I’ve been to Toronto. Anyway, I can’t remember what the dish was specifically. I think it was rice noodles with vegetables, heavy on the cilantro and sesame oil.

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  69. Wow, I have to take serious issue with that Zagat survey! Red Robin, Cheesecake Factory, and IHOP are all in the range of mediocre-at-best for their respective categories, although Five Guys deserves its win – their burgers are good, their fries are fantastic. In my opinion. At this time.

    The best burger I’ve had lately was at a place called Miller’s, in Charlottesville Va. a couple of weeks ago. Best *ever* is not so easy to say… Hard Times is up there, and I have yet to try Ray’s Hell Burger, which is supposed to be really good. I require a trip there in the near future. I generally prefer a “bar burger” over the fast food kind. A burger should be juicy, tender and flavorful; it should be delicious all by itself, *with no toppings.* Way too many have three strikes before they get out of the kitchen.

    G-2 pens are awesome. I buy them by the sack at Costco. Back in the day I was a Rapidograph weenie, but I’ve lost patience for them in my old age. I also like my Staedtler 0.5 pencil, but don’t use it much anymore.
    .

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  70. CADude-Around here they are franchised as Frisch’s Big Boy. There’s still quite a few along the I-75 corridor, more so the further south you get in Ohio. That being said, it’s hard to beat a super big boy with onion rings.

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  71. My boyfriend said his favorite is the Bleu Burger from Ruby’s also…Which was before I told him what I had said…love Rubys.

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  72. Best burger I ever had was at a little place right here in Saint Cloud, Minnesota called McCann’s.

    There is also a place here called bestburgerever, and they are very good as well. He is hoping to franchise it out…

    I love the way office supply stores SMELL. And home improvement places too, like Home Depot.

    Now THAT’S weird.

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  73. in&out rules.I tease my east coast friends by sending them gift certificates.

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  74. Hey I meant to mention on my earlier post that I used to work for the largest office product distributor in North America supplying products to all the big chains. We had a smaller distribution plant in Canada – 75k sq ft … but some of the bigger distribution centers in the states were 1 mil sq ft.

    For all you office products junkies. just think of that…. 1 million square feet of office products. Hard to imagine really, isn’t it… as far as the eye can see…

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  75. When I was a programmer I would write out many routines on paper first. Somehow it made it easier to visualize. I went through a lot of legal pads and pens.

    I wonder if there is a name for office supply love?

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  76. I can’t believe you like Fibber McGee. I was just a little kid when ti was on and I loved it!!

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  77. I believe it’s known as an Office Supply Fetish. Don’t know if there’s a proper name for that in the medical/scientific community or what. But for sufferers you are not alone!

    http://www.itsasickness.com/obsession/office-supply-fetish

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  78. I love office supplies! Really nice pens and stationary are my favorites, but there is nothing like a new notebook either! Wow, amazing so many people are the same.

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  79. Office supplies are cool. I like the organization that they have that I lack. Sigh.

    Best burger? The fur burger?

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  80. I’ve only had one burger in your fair continent. It was in Toronto ( near the CN Tower) and was quite delicious. I remember vividly being asked by the waiter how I would like it done. (?) ‘ Cooked and in a bun’ was the reply he got. He looked equally puzzled.

    I can only guess that they are even better in the U.S. of A!

    I don’t use fast food joints in the UK.
    (I won’t stand in a line!)

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  81. Stephanie…

    Your residence dredged up a memory from the tar pits of my reptilian brain:

    “Oh, some of us’ll end up
    In Saint Cloud Prison
    And some of us’ll wind up
    As lawyers and things
    And some of us’ll stand up
    To meet you at your crossroads
    From inside the walls
    The walls of Red Wing”

    jtb
    OB12

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  82. Jeff,

    I believe that the demise of the West Virginia’s Most Wanted list has unleashed Gretchen on a drowsing world, and we are all the better for it.

    jtb
    OB12

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  83. hot fuzz…

    It’s just a reference to chapter 12 of Paul’s Epistle to the Obstetricians, which was removed from the Bible at the Council of Nicaea in 325 by Constantine and his mom. Thanks for asking.

    jtb
    OB12

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  84. hot fuzz…

    Two hours after the previous comment, I remembered that you are Canadian, and therefore have different systems of governance, health care, and many other things. In health care, for example, the United States cleverly reduces our need for lifetime care by having a higher infant mortality rate than Canada and by living several years less.

    Similar differences are found in governance, and, therefore, in politics. I recalled that you offer intellegent comments, but forgot that we have different addresses. So, sorry about my glib response.

    Your neighbor across the Peace Arch,

    jtb
    OB12

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  85. I don’t like Wendy’s because the buns are served cold and their pickles taste weird.

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  86. Where did you get the Fibber McGee DVD??

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  87. t-storm,
    i believe the item you referenced has been trimmed from many menus and replaced with a soft-shelled clam burger.

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  88. WARNING – NOT MUCH HUMOR BELOW (like usual) :)

    JTB you are like the seasoned business mentor I never had; Someone to gently point out my yute (Cousin Vinnie…); to listen openly while I solved my own problems; always ready with the right balance of gentle and direct. Many warm thoughts being sent your way – I wish your back well as long as its health is not inversely proportional to your prolificness here. Well, for your sake I would be willing rish your writing here for your back’s health.

    I thought perhaps OB12 was some unknown reference to Obiwan Kanobe??? O B (one) ..2? see above paragraph for my inclined thought process. Now you explain it is religious in nature. Given how many claim Jedi as their religion on the Census, I guess my supposition was religious too!

    With the wonder of the interwebs you are as close to me as Kevindust from our nation’s capital, Not Oprah on our wet (or west) coast, Ian, Mark and others from across the pond and Juancho (sp?) from further south. I find great wonder, comfort and joy in that as I do “knowing” all the reporters as well as our fearless (except bees and spiders) leader. I call many my brother and sister and while that too is glib (in the nicest way) it also is testament to the camaraderie and laughs received.

    When Jeff threatened to “shut the whole fucking thing down” over a misunderstanding I flinched, stopped breathing for a sec and had to distract myself with impure thoughts of Stephanie. But then I started to giggle like a tard when an errant thought about the Cheese Fucker Kramered its way in….

    Yes I am Canadian. Yes I spell words like labour, colour, favour… yes I put maple syrup on everything…yes I’m willing to wait 3 hours in emerg…yes I go to my doctor and never have to worry about if I can afford it…. but on the other hand I have to shovel snow 13 months of the year… our parliament is one of the Ice Hotel like buildings… we send all of our comics south so they create anchor babies to take over what will be our 11th province… and yes we eat poutine every day (google it…)….

    I believe I successfully hid my Canadianness well until Jeff asked for a freaking roll call and then there was no denying it….I wanted to belong and was afraid I would be ostracized for not being “Merican”. But I should have trusted the dysfunction of this endeavor to welcome me in. Hell I should have know as my first post was replied to by DTO or T-storm with a expletive laced “welcome”. So when it comes to dysfunction, clearly my brothers and sisters put the F U in dysFUnction.

    I’m off this week and next and am studying for an exam among other things. Can you tell I’m procrastichillaxen???

    ;) Haveth thou a grandest diem

    (E.&O.E.)

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  89. rish = risk

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  90. Hot…

    Thanks for the good wishes and for your analysis of the WSVR culture, which I think is acute. I can assure you that OB12 is not a religious symbol. Paul didn’t write letters to the Obstetricians. Not even a post card.

    I’m not trying to be cute; candidly, at 60 it is so difficult to be cute that most old farts don’t even try. Rather, I am skirting a site guideline; that is why I am reluctant to be more specific about the tag line.

    I enjoy your comments and, in fact, the comments of all my Canadian friends. Having impure thoughts of Stephanie is surely the sign of a rational mind.

    Thanks again for the response and the good wishes. One more surgery should allow me, perhaps in three or four months time, to cast off my cane after four years. A little good health, however, will not pull me away from this site. I will still have my distorted MENTAL health to hold me here.

    Cheers,

    jtb
    OB12

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  91. My top three picks for burgers:

    Smitty’s Better Burger – Hampton Va
    Bub’s Burgers – Indianapolis
    Steak n Shake

    That is all…

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  92. Damn, that should be WVSR. I can spell, but I can’t type. Ah, what the hell; I can’t spell either.

    jtb

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  93. Sir Paul was fantastic last night at the new arena.
    You were right Brittney and bickerchick.

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  94. JTB – no need to be formal – feel free to call me fuzzy… :)

    A cane makes a fine weapon. I picture an Americanized John Steed with perhaps Provocative Stephanie…or Bikerchick (in red FM pumps…)….or the brilliant Gretchen…as your Emma Peel.

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  95. This is funny:

    http://www.thatcanadiangirl.co.uk/blog/2008/05/30/the-letter-in-the-pond/

    At some point the reader commentary about the letter devolves into arguing about the semantics of “whining” versus “whinging”. My favorite/favourite comment goes out to Hot Fuzz:

    “Whinging is not the same as whining….Brits whinge while dogs and Americans whine. I’d like to think that Canadians whinge rather than whine but I suspect there are three camps, some that whinge, some that whine, and some that just go “pfwuh” in a pseudogaulic way.”

    JTB: Your theory is spot on. That Most Wanted list always gave me a complex.

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  96. I like being called brilliant. Keep it up, fuzzball.

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  97. I like In -n Out even though I never had one? Melanie Troxel drives their Funny Car in the NHRA and I really likes some Melanie.

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  98. And now the Whopper Pizza Burger. Can you? Would you?

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  99. The best hamburger I ever ate was about 20 years ago. My uncle Carl grilled it to perfection. When you went to the grill to get your burger you had to take someone with you or take two burgers at once because he insisted keeping an even number of burgers on the grill at all times.

    He’d make farting noises with his underarm and say, “Puke! These burgers are made outta puke!” One time some extra guest showed up and they told me to tell Carl we needed more burgers. Then I found Carl in the garage throwing up into a bowl of ground beef. Then he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and said, “Puke. These burgers are made with puke. Don’t tell anyone.”

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  100. @Stephanie–That’s not weird at all. I love the smell of home improvement stores…and pool stores. American Sales is my favorite store ever and I don’t even have a pool.

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  101. Gretchen says “Keep it up, fuzzball.”…but no more than 4 hours at a time..

    Letter in the pond story? You had me at wildebeest. We’ve done the same with greetings behind the wallpaper (a book title?).Here’s an exercise – try saying “I don’t whine/whinge” without actually sounding like you’re whining/whinging.

    I stopped commenting when I got to number 1 on the most wanted too.. thank god for Brittney, dto, t-storm, shiny, chuck and Icy-66…I would go through withdrawal. I would sometimes wait until midnight to see if I had gone down on the list.

    heh – I said “gone down”

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  102. Fatburgers every time for me.

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  103. Chuck-Oh hell yah!

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  104. Chuck – no. It’s just wrong. Maybe if shared but no one needs to eat the equivalent of a loaf of bread in one sitting. uh I feel bloated looking at the pic.

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  105. Best burger I ever had was at a joint called Carey’s in Marietta, GA. It was at the bottom of the hill on 41 just down from Dobbins AFB. It was a real greasy hole-in-the-wall dive. Place always smelled of old cigarettes and spilled beer but man, what a great burger. I suspect they mixed sausage of some kind in with the ground beef. Whatever they were doing, it was a winner! Unfortunately, being the shitty looking dive that it was, it really didn’t cater to the burger-going family-oriented public. It was bulldozed and an auto dealership now sits on the site.

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  106. Oh damn I can’t belive I almost forgot Big Mo’s Burgers and Dogs in Sierra Vista ,Az. . Holy hell sack they were good before the owner got deployed.

    The fried the burgers in a pan over a wood fire, so you got a smokey taste in a good ol’ greasy burger. They would make chili for dogs and whatnot with burger meat cooked the same way. The hade great chili cheese onion rings.

    And the fries at another Sierra Vista place, called Gonga Burger were pretty damn good. You got them in 1 pound orders only. Fresh cut and fried to a greasy crunch to order. They put them in a big brown paper bag and just handed them to you with the hot grease soaking into the bag.

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  107. i hear both those places are closed now.

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  108. @shiny rod- what are your top three picks for boogers?

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  109. That pizza burger is almost as bad as the foot long cheeseburger

    http://foodbeast.com/content/2010/07/10/carls-jr-testing-a-footlong-cheeseburger/

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  110. Shit…Jeff posted friends sites so now I gotta think of some lies to post at my crumby little site.

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  111. On the subject of hamburger meat, has anyone ever had velveeta squares? I call them barf-ups because they look mighty gross, but its 1 poud of hamburger, one pound of breakfast sausage, 2 blocks of velveeta, put a glob onto a package of rye bread cocktail squares, and bake em. They are horrible for you, but they are amazingly good.

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  112. Brittney-YES!!! I could eat a whole crock pot full of that! Barf-ups pretty well describes the look.

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  113. Brittney – I love those things. We make them for tailgates, but call them “Shit on a Shingle.”

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  114. Looks like it’s going to be a slow day around here so…

    Dave’s not here man, the other day you posted something about a billion dollars. I wanted to inquire about that but was too busy. When did we add back all the zeroes to a billion?

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  115. I made a sculpture of the twin towers out of velveeta by standing two blocks of Velveeta on their ends next to each other. It was a big hit. Everyone wanted the recipe.

    We put together Rotel tomatoes, velveeta, and cooked breakfast sausage (and sometimes sliced black olives). And eat it with chips. I’ve never heard of barf bread, but now I want to try it.

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  116. The rye squares are in the deli department usually for some reason. They are delicious. I made them for our new years party this past year, and they were gone within a few hours. I had lots of drunk people asking me for the recipe that night. I’m sure none remembered though lol.

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  117. Something is going on with the recent comments down at the bottome of the page.

    They seem to be bursting forth from the boundries of the universe.

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  118. Ahem ..you guys keep cumming in your pants about offiice supplys and Buck will be laying the smack down..deservedly so.

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  119. Monday, Tuesday, hump day is half way
    Stick it in the pig, pop it in the bank
    Saturday is coming quicker than you think
    Forty-eight to rendezvous
    I’m gonna blow a wad on you
    Oh, oh, oh
    I’m coming in my pants, my shirt
    It’s my best suit baby
    Gonna pick your flower
    Gonna be there in an hour
    Coming in my pants, shined shoes
    In my neck tie honey
    I’m so excited I hope that I don’t come to soon
    I can’t move on, attention is long gone
    Suit’s all pressed, wallets in shape
    All that’s left is a little manscape

    24 to rendez-vous
    I’m gonna blow a wad on you
    Oh, oh, oh
    I’m coming in my pants, my shirt
    It’s my best suit baby
    Gonna pick your flower
    Gonna be there in an hour
    Coming in my pants, shined shoes
    In my neck tie honey
    I’m so excited I hope that I don’t come to soon

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  120. Here Come the Mummys. Good stuff there Chuck.

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  121. One of my favorite bands.

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  122. Thanks for helping clear that up SoS. I thought Chuck forgot his meds this morning.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5EE42So7I

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  123. I like the big Kahuna Burger. That Hawaiian burger joint. MMM MMM MMM It IS a tasty burger. I’ll just finish off the soda to wash it down.

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  124. I just remembered, the Vortex in atlanta was pretty awesome for burgers.

    I haven’t had a great burger in a long time. Maybe I’ll hit whattaburger tonight even though I brought salad for lunch.

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  125. Just thought of another favorite. Kewpee Hamburgers in Lima, OH. Been around forever and if it’s close to lunch and I’m up there that’s where I’m eating.

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  126. Got-Dammit WB in OH,
    Now I have to go to Lima, OH and try one of their burgers. I thought the point of OH was to be recluse (not making fun of you, just thought). So now I have to leave the witness protection program and have a burger in the middle of nowhere. I hope they have Velveeta, in case I get bored. Not to worry, I keep a loaf in the glove box just in case.

    On a side note,
    I have a vegan zealot on my case lately. I ate a “hamburger” at his house last night and I liked it. He took this as a signal that I love animals above humans, and wouldn’t be having any more eggs or steaks. WRONG! I love meat – and I really don’t care how it’s treated before it hits my mouth. So go fuck yourselves, everyone.

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  127. Jason,
    How dare you be so cruel. I prefer that before they kill the cow they tickle it’s balls as a distraction.

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  128. Cow’s have balls? (this was funny until wikipedia said cow could apply to both M and F – FU Wikipedia)

    I still maintain that for me to enjoy a meal, something has to have died a bloody violent death.

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  129. Of course they do. What do you think those things are underneath that you squeeze and semen comes out of?

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  130. Talk to me, Chi-Chi. I live you.. Let’s go! I love you. Takes a lot for me to come on. I’m under the power of another. Trusst me? I love you. I won’t hurt you. Promise. Trust me, please. I promise I won’t fuck you. You’re my baby! Come on! Please! I will be good to you. I love your guts! Help me out and come on. I want you, I need you, I love you! Come on! I’ve never done you wrong! Come on!

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  131. Um.

    Did I miss something while I have been away?

    The “impure” thoughts about Stephanie…

    Would that be *me*…or is there another Stephanie on here?

    Like, say…Zimbalist.

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  132. When I taught school in Illinois farm country, I was always taught that cows were female, bulls, were male, and steers were castrated bulls. And the meat we eat comes from steers. Those wussy steers. That’s what you get for having your nuts cut off. Man up, steers! Oh, that’s right, you can’t. No balls!

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  133. Hot Fuzz – Well said up there Brother. “We stand on guard for thee” (not quite sure of the power of our ‘guard’)

    Not much on hamburgers, I only eat a couple a year. When I eat fast food, it’s usually taco time (chicken fajita) but there’s none where I live at the moment. If I rarely do feel like a burger, it’sBK. I’d never order one in a restaurant that had other options.

    I love office supplies also, especially pens, but then again I am an accounting geek.

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  134. Stephanie… busted…sorry for the creep factor… you seemed like a good partner to play out the humour I was attempting.

    Jason…. lusting after an old golfer? …last seen in happy Gilmore? Whatever turns your crank….or rubs and carresses your crank… or twists and strokes your crank… Was it the cows, the burger, the Velveeta?

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  135. Not Oprah – I sometimes wish we had the same patriotism our southern neighbours show. But then slowly but surely – first the Olympics and then being on Parliament Hill on Canada day for the first time ever… it’s starting to grow in me. So much so – I purposefully no longer take that u out of certain works no matter WHAT spell check says. If only we could live the beer commercial patriotism more!

    As far as our military goes – the boys (and girls) do fine with more on the way. Much respect and thanks to the forces. Geez, I sound like Don Cherry now. I mean, Hell, we sent both our tanks to Afghanistan. I have a buddy over there now and I pray for him regularly. Sorry, I’m just ranting now….

    thanks sister from another mister.

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  136. @ hot fuzz…Not to worry, no offense taken! And, no creep factor suggested at all, either.

    Women *like* the attention we seek…don’t let them tell you otherwise. (WHY do women wear low cut tops baring cleavage and skin almost down to their navels, in public, and then GLARE at men for looking at their breasts?)

    “They” sat women dress for each other.

    That’s bullsh*t.

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  137. Back to burgers and office supplies now…move along…nothing to see here.

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  138. Hot Fuzz – no disrepect to our military at all. It’s all beyond appreciated. We just don’t have the ‘supplies’ necessary to do what everyone else has going on.

    Olympics were good times!!! Was on Robson after the final hockey game. I’m not in Van at the moment but still at a mine in BC for now. I love to travel and admire everyone’s patriotism despite what Country/Continent I am in, unless it’s a “we’re better than you because you live there” attitude….Gag

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  139. Funny enough I too wear low cut tops baring cleavage and skin almost down to my (hairy) navel, in public.

    I made some bison burgers last weekend but they’re just too low in fat to have any flavour. I’ll stick to ball less steer burgers in the future.

    My brother spent $65 in Vegas for a Kobe burger… It came complete with a burger styled dessert. He said it wasn’t worth it. (I think I could have told him so without even tasting it) .

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  140. Not O…100% on all accounts. And I did you a disservice with my poorly worded military comment – you replied well. God, I love those guys/gals for what they choose to do. And it’s nice to hear you say the same.

    Mom and Dad were both in the service and while nether saw any “action” the fact that they were ready and willing is a whole crapload more than I’ve done.

    God bless ‘em all.

    So …. burgers and office supplies… I have to say I’d take Arby’s over a burger any day and to me it’s a whole lot healthier. We just don’t have enough of them up here.

    Anybody remember Lettrasets? Do they still sell that stuff now that you can buy a label maker for $19 or print off anything within Word?

    (I am a segue Jedi master…)

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  141. @ hotfuzz: I would pay to see that.

    Mmm…hairy.

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  142. Holy CRAP!!!

    Jason, you gained a lot of weight and are running for Mayor of Toronto? What’s this about you being arrested in Florida? Geez, you close your eyes for a sec and whammo…. I just hope the press doesn’t find out about the cheese.

    http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/article/849744–go-ahead-take-me-to-jail-ford-told-police?bn=1

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  143. Not Oprah….Taco Time is awesome! Unfortunately, I’m roughly 2500 miles north of the nearest one to me…but thanks for bringing up great memories of a large soft taco with sour cream, and an order of Mexi-fries (to the uninitiated Easterners, they are just deep fried tater tots), and an order of Crustos for dessert!(again for the uninitiated, deep fried flour tortilla wedges coated with cinnamon and sugar).

    hot fuzz, the secret to bison burgers is the same we use up here in Alaska for moose burgers…mix it 3/4 bison to 1/4 fatty hamburger. It still has the wild taste, but is far more palatable.

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  144. CC – Back in Alaska? How was the road trip? Just to remind yah, I lived in the Yukon (wrong side of AK) for awhile, but love it there.

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  145. Holy christ, not only is Uncle Carl missing but so is the grill…………… WTF will we do?

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  146. Clint – you had me at fatty hamburger….but now I’m thinking pork sausage!!!

    I’ll throw on a piece of iceberg lettuce to make it healthy.

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  147. AWB – the zeroes thing goes back to 1960 when the SI was officially formed. We don’t strictly follow it in the US, but it is the world standard.

    “The International System of Units, universally abbreviated SI (from the French Le Système International d’Unités), is the modern metric system of measurement. The SI was established in 1960 by the 11th General Conference on Weights and Measures (CGPM, Conférence Générale des Poids et Mesures). The CGPM is the international authority that ensures wide dissemination of the SI and modifies the SI as necessary to reflect the latest advances in science and technology.”

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  148. My sister-in-law is a nurse and she tells me crazy stories from time to time. Last night a guy came in with a BOWLING PIN stuck in his ass. I asked how they got it out and she said they just pulled it, no surgery. He claimed to have “fallen back” on it even though it was stuck in upside down. Freak.

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  149. I’m late to the party on this post…too slammed the last few days (incl. my birthday yesterday, tyvm!).

    I’ve been using Dr. Grip pens exclusively for years. LOVE how they feel in my big fat ol’ paws, and the ink refills glide great across the paper…you really feel the difference compared to a generic pen. And I’ll tell ya what: It’s amazing how much more careful you are not to lose a $6 pen than you are with a $.35 pen…I’ve never lost one of my Dr. Grips – they’ve just gotten worn out (the rubber grip etc).

    I once worked with a guy who used a $100 Waterman pen. I asked him if I could try it out once. He let me, but he basically breathed over me while I used it for 5 seconds…wouldn’t let the pen ANYWHERE out of his sight. (It was a nice pen, btw, and really wrote nice, but I didn’t think it wrote “$100 nice”.) I asked him how he could use a $100 pen and not fear losing it, and he told me, “When you carry a $100 pen, you don’t lose it.” TRUE. I’ve applied that logic to my $6 Dr. Grips.

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  150. Dave!,
    Congrats on making it another year!
    My Great Grandfather always said, “Eat your lard boy, don’t forget your lard!” And he also said, “Always tell Dave ‘Happy Birthday’”. So I do both. Now I’m off to eat some pig fat. Don’t judge me. I just slipped onto a bowling pin.

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  151. happy birfday, dave!!! boobies and beer!!!

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  152. Hot Fuzz has been on fire this week, it’s nice to read quality Canadian content!

    ‘I just hope the press doesn’t find out about the cheese.” A new WVSR classic that only a Rurf Reporter would ever “get”

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  153. Jason-I don’t think they use Velveeta, just your standard orange square of processed muriken cheese. It’s an easy drive from Alabamie, I-65 to Louisville, I-71 to Cincy, I-75 to exit 125, hang a left, go two blocks and enjoy. You’ll probably pass a couple of better burger joints on the way though.

    Daves not here, man-Good to know, sounds like good fodder for an argument at the bar. My brother used to work for a man who was worth 1600 million, can’t wait to tell him he didn’t work for a billionaire! I also doubt anyone who’s worth 1000 million dollars cares what label is put on it either.

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  154. @ Dave’s not here, man – Not sure, I’d have to dig around and see which ones measure up. What are the criteria for a world class booger? Size, weight, color, consistency, pinch test, flick test, knuckle test? Maybe we can get Nostrildamus to judge the event.

    t-storm – Varisty Burgers rule in Atlanta.

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  155. Jesus H. Christ Jeff, you could of at least changed the bunker cam photo…that’s just wrong.

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  156. t-storm, shiny, If I’m going to Atlanta I’ll put my money on the burgers at the Pink Pony. Actually I don’t even know if they have a kitchen. Too bad Fuzzy’s closed.

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  157. 157th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    WB–you’re right re: the bunker cam. 3 pussies in the picture, and the only visible nippleage is on a moob. Quite disturbing.

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  158. Famous Dave’s Devil’s Spit burger is slammin! McDonald’s or Rally’s / Checker’s for Fries. I saw someone mention Juicy Lucy’s. I did love that when I lived in Fort Myers.

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  159. The Italian shit I had was super good. Go Fuck yourselves, everyone!!!

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  160. I had some Italian shit at lunch too. Cute little baby veal sandwich.. With a side of meatballs…. Awesome with a capital AWE….

    Mommy, moo, what are we doing here Mommy? Mommy, moo, where are they taking you mommy? Mommy, moo, why does that man have a big stick that goes bang? Mommy, moo, BANG, MOMMY, MOO, WHAT’S WRONG MOMMY, MOO, GET UP MOMMY, MOO. NO, MOO, MOMMY, MOO BANG

    24 hours later, I paid 5.99 for the lunch special. .

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  161. Brit,
    I’d love to see a video of you fucking yourself. Hotty Shit!

    Use an English Cucumber or a Hair Spray Can! Who Cares?

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  162. Jason, did you check out the link? It could be your older fatter blotchier brother in that pic on the Toronto star link.

    And since turnabout is fair play, I look like Drew Carey without the money but with all the weight.

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  163. Drunk. That’s what I am. But I still want a vid from Brit.

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  164. Hot Fuzz,
    Stop that for fuck sake. I may be a criminal, but I don’t get caught. That dude is a creep. I’m not. Ask Brit and Whatsherface. They both love me.

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  165. Jason, hitting the sauce a little early today?

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  166. And I’ll eat both of them until they wet the bed…………..

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  167. WB in OH,
    I’m always on the sauce. There’s no such thing as “too early” so you’re welcome to go fuck yourselfr, Sir.

    I’m a drunk from way back. The front of my shirt looks like a goddamn feed trough. I don’t care. I’m just trying to get Brit to let me in her pants!

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  168. Welp, it’s about time to shut this motherfucker down. I got two hours of mowing ahead of me but luckily it’s only 87 outside.

    Ya’ll go fuck yourselves and have a wicked weekend!

    Go Reds! Let’s finally win a freaking game in LA for a change.

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  169. Jason, I wasn’t judging, just inquiring. With any luck I will go fuck myself, Rosie has been on the rag lately.

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  170. Forgot about Varsity. What’ll ya have?

    What is the thing about billions?

    Go Reds.

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  171. Pretty sure Brit’s taken dude. Do want me to call you a cab so you get home safe?

    You’re a fuckin’ cab…

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  172. The best burger I ever had was a cheeseburger in a small town restaurant in Roseau MN. I can’t remember the name of the place and likely they aren’t even there any longer, but wow, they had great burgers!

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  173. I make italian shit twice a day, like a damn clock.

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  174. Now I understand how internet romances get started.

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  175. NO! Brit loves me!

    Anywho, everyone can go fuck themselves – including Brit. But I’d like to see it, on a re-windable tape, if you please. I don’t want a tape of any of you dudes fucking yourselves, too bad. I’m a discriminator and I’m not sorry about it.

    And I’d like to see Steph, deciding which cum is real and which cum is Miracle Whip with lemon juice in it. Let us know, toots. Hot. If we could get Steph and Brit together, I’d have a hard-on that last for longer than 4 hours. A medical emergincy, so to speak.

    Lastly, I’d like to tell all of you to go fuck yourselves.

    [Reply]

  176. WB in OH,
    Don’t ever take me seriously. We’re cool. I’m all about fun, nothing else. Sorry, gotta go, my wife just walked in with a strap-on that she got at the pawn shop. Doesn’t seem right………………..

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  177. My girl has a strap on that she uses on me. I lay on my back and she puts my legs on her shoulders and she goes to town. We’ve fashioned a tuning fork into a sounding rod so about every three thrusts she whacks that thing with a brass pipe and my cock resonates at middle C.

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  178. T-storm, But You’re from Canada, right? I’ve found that F flat is the bee’s knees.

    I bought a “create a replica of your own cock” kit several years ago. For the longest time it was little more than a conversation piece, just above the fireplace. But once she took it up the pooper she wanted me to experience the same thing. I guess so I could appreciate her sacrifice. I didn’t like the equivalent of my own cock in my ass. Hurt! Then again, that’s not my job. So “fuck you, bitch” is what I told her. She was a lesbian shortly thereafter. The closest I came to a threesome was taking her from behind while she munched some rug. Problem was, her “girlfriend” had an adam’s apple and a tiny cock, as far as I could tell. Big ripoff.

    Lesbos are super. But fake lesbos can go fuck themselves (on a re-windable tape, if you please). I think we can all agree that when we say we’re against “gays” we’re talking about two dudes fucking, not women. Women should fuck each other as much as possible. Amen?

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  179. Canada? Only unless southern Ohio was once part of America’s Attic.

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  180. Oh. Sorry. Someone admitted to being a Canadian the other day, thought it was you. I shoulda known better, you seem like a decent person and you don’t seem to mispronounce words like “about” or “house”. Let’s face it, one of us is wrong and it’s not those of us who say “about” rather than “a boot”. That alone pisses me off. Fuck off, Canada. I went to Ontario recently. All they do is talk shit about Americans. Well, I’d make fun of your President too, but I don’t know who the fuck he is. And yes, you have less problems than we do, because there’s no goddamn people up there!

    Fuck yourselves on a slant! Sorry. I had to get that off my tits.

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  181. Well as long as you feel better.

    asshole

    :)

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  182. hot fuzz,
    That WAS you. Sorry. I am an asshole. But I do feel better. So dildo yourself, if you aren’t already.

    Everyone says “you are what you eat” and I don’t eat assholes, so that seems absurd. If I am what I eat then I’m fast, cheap, and bad for your health. But who the fuck cares? Canadians, that’s who. Goddamn busybodies.

    No offence. I’m sure there was none taken. Right? You’re cool with us. We aren’t Americans or Canadians, we’re Surf Reporters! And you’re one of the best!

    I still don’t know who your President (or Prime Minister, or King, or whatever) is, and I know I’m not alone on this.

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  183. I think that once a month the first person holding a maple leaf to touch the flag pole on the national lawn gets to be president.In case of a tie it goes in order of biggest maple leaf, then prettiest maple leaf. Elections in autumn are a bitch.

    I think some guy named John Major or McClain or something with bony elboys has been winning for the past few fortnights.

    Ok, you fucker who claim the metric system is so awesome what the fuck is a stone?

    My car gets five rods to the hogshead and that’s the way I like it!

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  184. Hot Fuzz – got your back should you need me. I’m no match for these guys though.

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  185. @Just Oprah…road trip was half good, half bad. Had a tooth acting up, and it went really bad on the leg of the trip from St. Marys, WV to Indianapolis on a Sunday. Somewhere around Cambridge, I got a toothache, followed by a shooting pain in my left eye, and by the time I got through Zanesville, there was severe green sinus leakage. Two 6 packs of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and a 40 oz. malt liqour later…I reach the Indiana border. As I attempted to “self medicate” yet again before I got to my sister’s house, I found out the hard way that they don’t sell beer, wine, or liqour on Sundays in Indiana!
    Monday morning, the above mentioned tooth was removed at a walk-in dental clinic. I probably didn’t need the novacaine…because it was such a relief for the tooth to be gone!

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  186. A stone is about 14 goddamn pounds.

    I had an El Camino in Texas. My buddy and I spent months fixing it up. When we were finally done I was so excited.

    Well, I don’t have to tell you, we expected that sumbitch to light up like a Christmas tree and flat-out walk the dog. But it didn’t. Turns out the new orange shag carpet I’d put on the floor was so thick it was keeping the cool “barefoot” gas pedal I’d installed from going all the way down.

    My buddy could have said something about that. Then again, he was a Canadian.

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  187. Get a little alcohol in us, and it gets ugly. Everybody should know that by know. Sorry if any Canadiens or Americans were offended!

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  188. Yeh I think I will go somewhere else for a few days.

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  189. If I’m not offending people I’m not doing my job. Can’t find my vodka.

    Hang on, maybe I’ll find it and be back to offend everyone else. If you’re from Georgia or Washington State, fuck you.

    If you’re a blonde or brunette, you can blow my pole. Redheads fuckoff. Except for Wendy. She can blow my pole. Otherwise, eat shit and live. Fucking Ginger babies!

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  190. CC – that’s too bad, but hopefully there were good times too.

    Jason, lol – first time I read your note, it didn’t occur to me who Wendy was.

    Our currency isn’t in stones/pounds/pence you nut and I know you don’t care but the our King is Stephen Harper.

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  191. Not Oprah,
    I DO care. Stephen Harper blows poles. But I’d like to be nice to you, if I can.

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  192. J – I’m way over West and don’t pay much attention to what’s happening in Ottawa – where’s my gong? Actually maybe that should be the new route for electing political leaders, reality shows? I bet someone’s working on that as I type.

    You guys are funny I think the way you do (except for the guy type perversion) but what you guys say makes me laugh really hard, sometimes when I really neeed it.

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  193. Taking offense at something “said” here is like a whore taking offense because you wanted to do her.

    Besides, I used the smiley face!!!! the get out of jail free card that lets you say anything!!!!

    ANYTHING

    ANY THING

    A N Y T H I N G !!!!!!

    I used the verbal equivalent once. The VP and the controller embarrassed me in front of the entire office once with a really inappropriate joke at my expense that was quite juvenile and simply mean. I didn’t blubber or cry or whine or whyge (?)…

    Instead when the guys pulled me in to privately apologize I said “don’t worry about it. But it WAS inappropriate. The same way as it would be inappropriate for me to tell you to go fuck yourself. I mean it would be totally wrong for me to say right now for both of you to go fuck yourselves because I can’t say that. It would be wrong. Under no circumstances would it be appropriate for me, the IT manager, to tell the VP of Operations and the Controller to really seriously go fuck yourselves really hard. And It wouldn’t be gentle fucking. It would be O-ring ripping, blood as a lubricant, hot fucking. The kind a Samurai or a Klingon would do if they were raping you. THAT would be totally inappropriate. And you know what else would be inappropriate for me to say would be for the two of you to go fuck each other really hard. THAT would be so inappropriate I could never say that so I won’t. Thanks for apologising.” They tried to interrupt a few times but when they saw that wasn’t working they both just shut up until I left for the day. I worked there for at least another two years. It never happened again.

    Sorry… where were we?

    oh Yes…

    Our President is Mr Timothy Horton.
    He lives in the revolving pod of the Skylon tower in our Govermental Palace – affectionately known as the Igloo. The Capital of Canada is in Shawinagan, in the Liberalton District. It’s neither a province nor a territory but rather a district similar to DC.
    He has 3 vice presidents (we have a very small government as we have only about a million people in the country). They are Julian White; Rick Jones and Mike (Bubbles) Smith. They are in charge of the three main ministries (Culture, Sport and Hockey; Multiculturalism; and the Defense Department).
    President Horton recently scored a rare so called “double double” by getting both the senate and the capitol to unanimously pass a bill – We’re going to have our first census!!!”

    Hope that helps explain Canada.

    Jason, me love you long time. I recently searched the archives when you talked about how the lace trim on your umbrella matched your elbow length gloves… you like nice things.

    Dildo deployed. That’s what took me so long to reply.

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  194. Not Oprah, Kevindust, Tyrosine? did I miss anything in my Cultural Learnings For to Make Better Great Republic of Canadastan?

    Feel free to jump right in.

    Not Oprah, not to contradict of course but I think your info about Harper is a few days our of date. Remember he’s fishin’ this week and in the constitution, the President can transfer power so he doesn’t have to worry about the country while he’s fishing. That’s why Mr Horton is in place right now. Our founding Mother had it right, didn’t she?

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  195. our = out

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  196. hot fuzz,
    You’re a good man, Charlie Brown. I never did find my vodka. I like Not Oprah, but I suspect she might be a redhead. Nevertheless, she’s cute.

    We’re remodeling our house, which means I’m taking it in the ass “on a slant” daily. Nobody has the decency to provide a reach-around. You know how it goes. It’s just me saying, “Really? No lube? Deeper? Really? For shit-sake, how much more you got? That seems like enough! Really, that’s enough. My stomach hurts. Stop. I’ll yank you the rest of the way. Good Lord.”

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  197. you mean hoose.

    fuck me on a slant with a speed square.

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  198. Correct. I did mean hoose. I’m no longer useful to you guys. I’m going to put a light bulb in my ass (just a small one, a Christmas light, nothing that would land me in the ER) and wack off. Good night and good luck. Peace, kill the Middle East. Pave the Rain Forest, and all that shit.

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  199. Props to any Samurais or Klingons btw. You guys rock.

    She who must be feared and obeyed is a red head. Do I need to go down THAT road now? LOL

    Next you’re going to make fun of Trumpet players (dto, I’ll be with you brother)…or flight attendants (T-storm just kidding brother) or Lawyers (CAdude….Go tell him to fuck himself. that worked last time) or (fuck, I can’t remember what anyone else does…) or the Navy or Army vets (or active) (stand down Shiny and Icy)…. or douchy people (dogberryjr is still smarting from that one).. Oh here’s a thought, – go after the musicians in general (RELEASE THE KRACKEN!!!).

    if you’re doing renos… please either put down the booze or put down the circular saw. If not, you’ll need a third persona called “lefty”

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  200. J – thx – lbrunette, but sorry no favours ( see the metric ‘u’) for you.

    HF – I wish I f’n cared, I gave up thinking that I had any influences ages ago. Been working with the old oil/mining boyz for way too long and I just hang out on the coast whenever and hate political shit. I’m glad I’m don’t live amongst those.

    Who says ‘hoose’ for house?

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  201. hoomosexuals

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  202. homosexers

    Not Oprah, you’ll change your mind in time. I say hoose for house and mouse for moose. I’m crazy like that. I just don’t care. I’m reckless. That’s what you’ll love about me. We have a lot in common, not caring about Canadian politics and all. Plus you aren’t a redhead. And that’ll help.

    Have you ever tried those “date rape” drugs? They aren’t worth a damn. I took three last night and I couldn’t even stand up, much less do any raping. Anywhat, let’s get together sometime. We can heal this whole Canada / USA bullshit in a single night. Whaddaya think, red?

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  203. N-O I have a female cousin who’s a millwright in the mines… she moves between BC and NWT every couple of years. She’s a lesbian.

    T-Storm – you’re fucking clever and quick brother. I’m giggling like a 12 year old that can see his college age female neighbor suntanning in her thong by the pool and she can’t see him because of the two way mirror on his bedroom window and he just found out mom won’t be home for an hour or so so he can take his time and do it right.. just saying… it was funny

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  204. For Fuck Sake.

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  205. I gotta try that barf-bread whatsherfuck was raving about. I’m starving.

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  206. T.Farty, I am not into their crazy talk, maybe we can have an intelligent conversation.

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  207. You guys are hilarious :D

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  208. Not O…intelligent? Would you settle for more than a wildebeest but less than a fifth grader level?

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  209. HF, your explanation of the Canadien system of government was brilliant! In the same spirit, I think our next president in the USA ought to be Mr. Duncan Donitz.

    I fondly remember Letraset – that was the good stuff. Also Chartpak and the ugly-but-functional Datak. More brand names: K+E, Pelikan, X-Acto, C-Thru Graphics, Pickett.
    .

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  210. A good part of the explanation comes from our Ambassador to the United States. Mr Rick Mercer.

    I looked up letraset after the post (d’uh) and they seem to be doing better than ever with even more product lines. Amazing given today’s technology but I guess a place for everything.

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  211. I’d like to jump in with a Canadian defence…but like our actual defence I am a few tanks short…don’t get me started on helicopters cause we ain’t leaving the ground.

    Plus, I happen to be a real life Public Servant that lives in Ottawa and there isn’t much of a defence for that either.

    I am truly puzzled by the about/aboot situation though. I have never heard a Canuck pronounce the word “aboot” except when Alanis Morissette guest starred on the DeGrassi episode with Jay and Silent Bob.

    p.s. Brit and Steph, please cc me on the pics you send to Jason, thanks in advance. (Example of Canadian politeness.)

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  212. Jason – you should really be nicer to our neighbours to the north, there is an awesome strip bar in Windsor named after you.

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  213. WB….um….you’ll need to change “is” to “was”….but the best part? read bullet two on the link… ;)

    http://detroit.about.com/od/artsentertainment/a/windsor_strip.htm?once=true&

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  214. Holy hell hot fuzz, what in the wide world of sports is going on up there? Danny’s took over Jason’s? Fucking Obama and the weak American dollar. Please tell me the Million Dollar Saloon didn’t sell the shower to the Chinese!

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  215. I take that back, it’s Tim Horton’s fault. Worst PM ever!

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  216. I wrote a song while in the shower:

    The sickest thing I ever saw
    Was a lady inside a shopping mall
    Her head was on fire
    But no one said a word

    Buy the time she figured out
    What was going on
    Most of her face was gone
    The Asian guy with the sample plate
    Had left his post to masturbate

    CHORUS
    Please tell me if my head’s ablaze
    It could happen to all of us one of these days
    Don’t let me walk around while my face melts off
    For God’s sake, baby, won’t you tell me if my head’s on fire

    REPEAT CHORUS 39 TIMES

    [Reply]

  217. There’s an awesome strip bar in Windsor called Jason?!?

    We usually go fishing every spring in West Lake, Ontario. Every stikin’ person there says ‘aboot’ and drives me nuts. So I have to go to the awesome strip bar in Belleville (called The Boo) to get myself right with the world again.

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  218. What the hell is going on in here?

    [Reply]

  219. We’re all too busy fucking ourselves. Jason got so drunk he actually fucked someone else. Brit and Steph fucked each other as requested/ordered, Not Oprah is fucking hereself with moose antlers and I’m just plain fucking myself while eating a salad.

    [Reply]

  220. @ Greg, where in IL did you teach?

    @Jason, T-Storm…You guys wasted?…and yes, I am happily taken :)

    [Reply]

  221. I actually haven’t drunk posted in a minute.
    I’m currently at work plotting my escape.

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  222. Brittney,
    Wasted? Always. But I don’t consider it a waste. I mowed last night while in the nude (except for a helmet and knee pads and house shoes with headlights on them). I challenge anyone to do that while “sober”. And I’m just poking fun when flirting on the internet. Last time I hooked up with someone online it turned out to be a 57 year old man that liked to wear his wife’s clothes, not a 19 year old confused babe and her busty roommate, like he claimed. Imagine my surprise when he got angry because I refused to “just pretend”.

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  223. how can you pretend when the smell of vicks vap-o-rub and ben gay are wafting into your nostrils while Earnest T Bass gums your cob?

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  224. Exactly, plus his tits were A-cups at best and covered in hair. He had stubble you could grate cheese on and his breath smelled of smoked meat.

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  225. so you didn’t give him your smoked meat log?

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  226. No. I dismissed him after he started insisting that I sing “Happy Birthday” to him and put it in his belly button. And he kept calling me “Sonny”. Too fucking weird.

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  227. Lol…A-cups covered in hair…sounds delightful!

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  228. Time to play Halo 3…One thing quick tho…has anyone seen that those driving under the influence commercials where the guys get pulled over and when they roll down their windows, there alcohol of choice pours out the windows? Well the guy who chose martinis–For a really long time, I completely thought that the olives that were rolling out with the vodka were fruit loops… I thought it was like he eating fruit loops to curb his alcohol munchies. My boyfriend finally pointed out one day that they were olives. Now I laugh whenever I see it.

    It just came on, that’s why I brought it up. Plus we’re talking about being drunk, so I figured it would fit nicely.

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  229. Maybe they were turds?

    But if your driving around in a gin filled car breathing it like you are in The Abyss then maybe you shouldn’t be driving.

    Coffee then drinking, tomorrow I build the 1-room apartment nanobrewery!

    [Reply]

  230. LOL, turds. I will always love the word turd….and if anyone cares…Ben took a video at Phish of a song from our show in which they do trippy ‘voices’ during a song. Took me and hour and half to upload this fricking video.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhPcBThknjM

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  231. Off topic butt are any of you slantfucks on foursquare?

    Second question, is slantfuck better? Or fuckslant?

    I think slantfuck is the adjective and fuckslant is an exlamation.

    For fuck slants!

    Ok, slant now sounds weird to me.

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  232. Fuckslant. No doubt.

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  233. And don’t forget “Assrabbit” – Rabbit ass just doesn’t have the same ring. Fuckslant.

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  234. Rabbit Ass is a town in KY where you go to get Rabbit Hash. Or is it the other way around?

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  235. I dunno. You say the bad word first, that’s the rule. And fuck is much worse than slant. No doubt about it.

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  236. shitbag vs. bag shit
    fuckface vs. face fuck
    shithead vs. head shit

    Listen to me man! I’m making a lot of sense!

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  237. Rabbit Hash, isn’t their mayor a dog? My friends sister lives there, and I thought she told me that. That town makes Austin, TX seem normal.

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  238. @ Brittney I did my student teaching in the Quad Cities (East Moline), then got a job as a teacher/guidance counselor at Brownstown, a little town between Vandalia and Effingham. I was there way too long. Fortunately, St. Louis was only about a hour away, so I spent lots of time there, going to concerts, baseball games, and headshops, and just chillin’ in STL. I gotta be near a city. Got both B.S. and M. S. at WIU.

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  239. WB in OH,
    I think their mayor is a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe. You can’t beat the motherfucker. He picks the middle or the top left, each time. Goes on forever.

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  240. T-Storm: five rods to the hogshead is excellent. I’m going to start figuring my mileage in parsecs per metric tonne (for our Canadian friends).

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  241. Five rods to the hogshead sounds like a sick sexual act. I don’t know how you guys do things in Canada, but you now have my attention!

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  242. @Greg…I know where those towns are, I’m 30 minutes south of the city in a little town called Peotone…I’ve also been to St. Louis. I was super excited to see Busch Stadium, because at the time the Busch logo was practically my trademark. There was a Cardinals game going on that day, so of course we had to yell Chicago related references at the people walking to the game, they weren’t too happy.

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  243. @ Brittney, The baseball games between the Cards and the Cubs were the best. I’ve heard, that now, the tickets for the games between those two are extremely expensive. Having gone to WIU, I was forced to be a Cubs fan. I had no choice. Everybody on my floor was was from the Chi-town area.

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  244. @ Brittney, each Friday night, there was a train to Chi-town for the students. Of course, it was a drunken ride to Chicago, and all for $6.00. I’d go up there, with my Chi-town friends, and spend the weekends in Chi-town, then get back on the train, Sunday afternoon, and end up in Macomb, in time for classes, Monday morning. How cool was that! God, college was so cool!

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  245. Wrigley Field was the coolest, even better than Busch Stadium, at least, in my opinion! Clark and Addison! How cool can you get!

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  246. @ Brittney, After I got my car, I’d drive to Chicago, and end up on Lake Shore Drive. We’d drive up and down, and end up at the Field Museum, and do the museum. God, I miss that city!

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  247. @ Greg, yes, we always take the train up to Chicago, the metro station is about 10 minutes from us so we always take it up there for concerts and what not. It is really fun to visit. I’ve been to Wrigley stadium and US Cellular (White Sox) but, Wrigley is better. Unfortunately Cubs aren’t doing so good this season, we’re both big Cubs fans, but sadly, I hesitantly retired my Theriot jersey into the closet this year. The cubs flag is also in the closet…I also hope Lovie gets fired soon…Goooo Bears!

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  248. Brittney, I’m out of here. Talk to you later.

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  249. Not trying to be rude, I’m just tired, and it’s time for me to go to bed! Check ya later.

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  250. I need to recalibrate my car’s speedometer so it read furlongs per fortnight.

    Seriously… the US is the mightiest empire the world has ever seen, if you look at our military. But if you look at our system of measurement, we are a 13th century English village. Just saying.
    .

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  251. What’s the capacity of Monica’s mouth? One US Liter.

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  252. Sitting in my neighbo”u”rs garage watching the reds and just got caught up on today’s comments …my neighbo”u”rs think I’m crazy. You folks are too much fun.

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  253. I haveto go back and look at some time time missed but what’s become of our dear AWG? I know he could no longer surf from work, but did we lose him forever? He’s a laugh and then some. Also, anymore plans for the anniversary?

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  254. What about Fat Burger??? How do u think they compare? I like Five Guys, but they don’t have milkshakes and Fat Burger’s are fabulous.

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  255. Why the burgers look like good burgers – in the ads.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Business/video/mcdonalds-compares-ad-burger-photos-ones-bought-restaurant-16620544

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Thanks for stopping by! My name is Jeff Kay, I was born while JFK was president, and it's all very embarrassing and corny. Today I'm a suburban husband and father, who is sometimes accused of being a bit tightly-wound. The West Virginia Surf Report! is my creative outlet, and insurance policy against completely losing my shit. I hope you'll stick around and participate in the lively community of geniuses and curmudgeons who hang out here every day. I love a full 87% of them! And while you're at it, please follow me at Twitter and Facebook.

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