Your End of Week Topic Dump, vol. 443
It’s suddenly like fall up here in the Cuppa Two Tree Belt. I’m at the library as I type this, sitting beside a large window, and it’s gray and dreary and cold outside. Perfect! It puts me in a good mood, seriously.
There’s a “big-boned” woman a few tables in front of me, who hasn’t stopped pounding on her keyboard since I got here. It looks like she’s on Facebook, and it’s just continuous, punishing, hammer-typing. I’ve never seen a set of Snicker fingers move so fast! They can probably hear the clacking out in the parking lot…
Behind me is a college-aged dude with a newspaper on a stick, and a gallon jug of iced tea. Even though there’s a sign on the front door that says food and beverages are not allowed. Whatever. Why do people now carry around gallons of liquid? Gallons!
To my right is a long shelf of books (fiction), with another table at the end of it. A woman was popping her gum there a few minutes ago, but is now gone, thankfully. The table is empty, but I can hear someone repeatedly clearing their throat somewhere in here. It’s only a matter of time before they flop down, and start moving around their phlegm nearby. Because that’s the way it always goes.
Ms. Big Skeleton just realized I’m behind her, and keeps pulling her shirt down, so I don’t see her granny panties peaking out of the top of her pants. Too late. They’re blue, and ridin’ high. It’s amazing how elastic can still work across great distances, isn’t it?
Also, I’m listening to the new (and excellent) album by The Church through headphones. It’s perfect music for a dreary, gray, and cold day such as this one.
Just thought I’d describe my surroundings… Care to do the same? Use the comments section below. I’m interested in knowing where you are.
Remember Buck’s recent note about the naked sushi model? If not, you can read it here. Now he’s followed it up with a picture of the guy, if you can believe it. Check it out. I’m sorry, but I would’ve had to pass. Call me uncultured if you’d like, but I don’t eat ballsack-warmed fish.
I had squid once, though.
And just so you know, my high school journalism teacher was pregnant with this man when I was in 12th grade. It’s true. But I’m pretty sure he was quite a bit smaller back then.
There’s a book I’m planning to buy the moment it’s published. This one. The writer is great, and so is the subject: my all-time favorite baseball team.
Supposedly there’s a large excerpt in the latest Sports Illustrated, and a friend sent me a quote from it…
Manager Sparky Anderson to the Reds, during spring training, 1975: “We’ve got four superstars on this team, and they ain’t got no curfew, and can come and go as they please. The rest of you guys are a bunch of turds.”
Motivational!
And I’ll leave you now with something that started on Twitter (NOT gay) this morning: Confession Friday… My Friday confession is that I’m an unashamed fan of Hall & Oates. Especially their big 1980s mega-albums, like H20 and Voices. And I don’t mean that in an ironic, so-bad-it’s-good way, either. I mean it’s great stuff, straight-up.
Now it’s your turn. Do you have anything you’d like to get off your chest today? Now’s your chance. Use our handy comments tool below.
And I’ll see you guys on Monday.
Have a great weekend!
Filed under: Daily
Yeah, baby!
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Good old number 2
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woohoo!! First time top ten…now I need to go back and read, LOL
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I’m in my living room on the couch. Directly in front of me is a gas fireplace. On my left is a giant 6′x6′x3′ stainless steel birdcage with my blue and gold in it. My trusty dog is on the floor to my right and I have my MacBook on the granite topped coffee table in front of me.
My confession was that my guilty pleasure is watching COPS.
Happy Friday, Surfers! Hope y’all have a great weekend. Please send good vibes my way so the vet will give Louie the thumbs up for running tomorrow. He’s been under house arrest after surgery and infection for 3 WEEKS and he’s got a little pent up enegry, as you can imagine. An overactive 130 lb dog in a San Francisco flat? Well, that’s just wrong.
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My surroundings: Second floor office, looking out at mountains and tundra on a crisp and clear Autumn-like day in Alaska. The tundra has begun to change from green to a mix of red, gold, and brown. No snow on the mountains yet…but it did get down to 30 degrees this morning. All in all, a fine day to be alive.
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Sitting on the couch in PJ’s watching Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, love that show. He is such an ass and totally gets by with it. It is 94 and sunny outside, so I’m staying in the AC today.
Last weekend to do nothing before college kickoff!! I don’t care what the calendar says, that is the beginning of fall!. Yes I am from Dunbar and no I am not a WVU fan. All my $$ and my daughter went to Clemson, so I pull for the Clemson Tigers. 10 hour drive to go watch them play ,but I’ll be there next Saturday!
I had no idea that kid was Mrs. K’s. Was it AWG that said he let party favors in her room last week? Hmmmmm, may require a trip to Dunbar to check it out.
Good lazy weekend surfers!
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Top ten, hell yes.
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I may have said this before – but I know someone who works in a library and use to have to clean after a certain “patron” used to shit among the rows of books.
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I am sitting in a half empty trade floor looking at 5 screens. The big ones have charts and graphs and it makes it look like I am smart and real busy but in reality I have no idea how most of it relates to the direction of the market. I just like the colors. Hee hee. The small laptop usually has either ESPN, Drudge, or WVSR on it.
It’s Friday so one of the TVs has Gunsmoke on it instead of CNBC. Hello Weekend!
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Tpo 10 I gotta getta job!
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Tpo? Tpo? uh top Duh!
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I’m typing this from my living room. I am seated in one corner at a red-topped table surrounded by computer crap. On my right side is a burnt-orange sectional sofa. On my left is a thin bookshelf full of baskets of yet more crap. Behind the sheld are three windows that overlook my second-story front porch and the next-door neighbor’s yard.
Another Hall and Oates fan here. I am sometimes afraid to admit this in front of others, but I am no longer ashamed. Thank you!
still laughing at “Snicker fingers” …
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You have to go to twitter for my confessions. If I got what I have on my chest off, many women would be very upset across American so I’ll keep it to myself and this is why I like my privacy. Point in case, wacko ex’s should stay off my computer. Done and It outta here.
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That nekkid sushi model was quite a bit scrawnier than I imagined. Unless the sushi is covering up muscle of which I’m unaware.
Right now I’m in my small home office wherein the only excitement is produced by the turquoise accent wall and surreal Mexcian folk art mingled with 21st century IKEA furniture. Earlier I was in a disused parking lot firing up a raku kiln, mere minutes before the skies opened up and the Pittsburgh monsoons hit. And faster than an R2D2 unit can disable a Death Star trash compactor, we had everything shutdown and packed up again. Did you know that nothing chafes worse than wet jeans? A somewhat shitty morning all around. I should have just stayed in bed.
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I’m surprised southern-fried Buck didn’t mention that the sushi guy was a colored feller. Just sayin’.
(Hey Shiny Rod, I’m just joking!!!!)
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sitting in my family room at my ugly desk, feeling the cold air of northern illinois floating on in. right now…62 degrees. perfect for august!!!
my secret love is the tv show Roseanne. gotta watch it whenever I see it in. No matter what!!!
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How can you use “not gay” and “unashamed fan of Hall & Oates” in the same sentence! My secretary just looked over my shoulder & asked me what a “Toxic dump” was & why do I get one every Friday? decisions decisions: do I: a) Try & eplain the WSVR to a 20 something dylsexic who after 4 years at college has yet to figure out spell check! or b) Tell her I am a member of a curry club that meets every Thurday evening! Hmmmmmm!
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By the way, that’s not a sushi guy just a dead hobo they didn’t have time to dispose of before the guests arrived! (I always wondered what happened to Dave Chappelle!)
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dyslexic/Thursday Damn Damn!!
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A Friday dump! Sweet!
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I’m in my office, staring at my big-ass big screen (30″ Mac cinema display). Lots of lovely scantily clad coeds to stare at out the window, too, on this very hot NC day.
So on a Friday pm, I am definitely not getting a lot of work done, especially since my printer shit the bed yesterday.
Confession: I am an unabashed fan of the following movies that everyone else seems to hate:
Bonfire of the Vanities
The Fifth Element
Charlie’s Angels (the first one)
The Cable Guy (you either get it or you don’t – am I the only one?)
Haven’t posted for a while due to travel and work and travel and work, so howdy, Surf Report folks!
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I’m in my den (that’s TV room to Northerners), in front of my laptop. To my left is a large bay window, to my right is a coffee table covered in various toys/food bits. The BATV is ahead of me and currently Kai Lan is on. My daughter seems to dig it.
Confession time: When I was in college, I was cleaning the bathroom in an apartment I shared with a friend of mine. As I was wiping the sink, I accidentally bumped her toothbrush and it went sailing right on into the toilet. I rinsed it with really hot water and put it back.
Also, I hate Hall & Oates, but that hatred is almost nothing compared to the rage I feel about Huey Lewis.
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Hey, Malcolm, I love “The Fifth Element”!
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I am sittin in my office. There are no windows, the desk is attached to a long grey cloth ikea style wall with shelves. On the desk is my laptop, phone and scattered documents I am working on. To the left of my desk are my Disaster Recovery Journal mags. On the shelves are all my reference books, CCNA, Networking +, My Alpha Chi certificate and picture of my first granddaughter, some stuff from when i worked for Northrup Grumman and a photo of me from when I had my cruiser. The screensaver on my laptop is from the Flying Dog Brewery. I have the biggest office on this side of the building.
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Oh, and while we are on the topic of Hall & Oates, I guess I am a closet fan – never bought any of their albums or CDs, but…if Rich Girl or Maneater comes on the radio, I find myself foot-tappin’ and hummin’ along.
On the other hand, when I saw Daryl Hall with all that makeup back in the day, I thought it was more like Daryl Hannah…gave me the creeps, that did.
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I’m in my office at work. To my right is a wall covered in memos, phone lists, etc. Behind me is a credenza piled high with stacks of reports I’ll never get a chance to read even if I live to be 1000, and a window that looks out onto sweet sweet freedom. To the left are two horizontal filing cabinets separated by a bin where I have about a dozen sets of blueprints. To my front sits my assistant who thinks I’m typing a letter and she is patiently waiting for me to finish. She’s playing with a quartz and amethyst duck that someone gave me thinking I needed something to occupy space on my desk. Behind my assistant is another window looking out over the office cube farm.
My confession/guilty pleasure? I played Dungeons and Dragons well into my 30′s. Sad but true. I’m also the only native born Canadian who can’t skate. On the bright side I’ve never liked Hall and Oats.
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Here along the banks of the Ohio it is a mixed day…cloudy and it sprinkles from time to time. Just enough to piss you off if you are outside, so I have decided to remain inside my palatial confines. It’s Appalachia so ‘palatial’ is relative.
Earlier while napping on the couch I woke up from a nightmare (daymare?) where every woman I ever slept with was in the same room at the same time. No more Banquet Mexican microwave dinners for me. On the other hand I did wake up with a blue throbber…so it wasn’t a total loss I guess.
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Surroundings- I am sitting behind a tall counter that makes me look like I am sitting on the deck of a cruise ship. Of course, preparing to fight off Somali pirates. There are two anal retentive water clients in here, concerned that their fifteen cent a page copy job may end up to be over two dollars. A fat woman worker, who looks like an Ewok is in here, talking to a new employee, who I call Johnny Damon, since he looks like him (the Yankee Johnny, not the Sawx Johnny). There is a window that does not view the outdoors, but views the sea of engineers, geologists and hydrologists cubicles in the giant room outside. I feel lucky to have an office. There are 11 2×5 foot flourescent lights blinding me. The clock is moving slower, as it is now fifteen minutes until time to leave. There is a giant map scanner, three microfiche machines and a small scanner. I am hungry.
On IPOD right now- “Sara Smile”- Hall and Oates……just kidding!!!!!! “99 Ways to Die”- Megadeth
Have a good weekend everyone.
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I’m the one that started Confession Friday on Twitter this morning. You have to go to my Twitter page to see my confession.
My surroundings…well, I’m at work, so I’m in a cubicle. On the wall in front of me is a big Notre Dame flag. On the right is a world map, and everywhere else is covered with my favorite pics from icanhascheezburger.com.
And my confession to the people here is that my feet stink really bad today. I’m wearing old leather sandals, and they have the old leather foot funk.
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Surroundings: In a nice 65 degree government office cubicle, Google chrome running with 13 different tabs, Spit cup on the left, sunglasses and “Big Mouth Billy Bass” on the right.
Messy stack of technical manuals.
Texas A&M flag on the wall.
Statue of kokopeli – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kokopelli
….Waiting until 5, then I can race home and log in to work there until 10:00 and go to bed. I must really stop web surfing so much at work.
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Hall & Oats ?! You must have already have shotguned a few man dingalings . Poooooofffftttteeeerrrr
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Good afternoon, Surf reporters!
For starters, there isn’t a damned thing gay about Hall & Oates.
(Ever notice how guys who use the gay label a lot and do a lot of gay-bashing seem to be, er, a little weird themselves, not to mention having doubts about which team they *really* belong to?) Freshman psych textbook, Chapter 1. Very obvious.
And now for something truly outrageous: I just found out that Glad Fold Lock Top Sandwich Bags are made in, are you ready?
India. WTF? Are we so incompetent (or so greedy) that we can’t even make *sandwich bags* in this country anymore?
This is truly pathetic, folks. I personally switched my allegiance to the S.C.Johnson Co. – ZipLoc Sandwich Bags.
Of course, there is the question of whether I should be using *plastic* sandwich bags at all. Yep, I know.
Today’s quotes are from Steven Wright…
- Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
- Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
- If horrific means horrible, why doesn’t terrific mean terrible?
- Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
-If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
Namaste, Surf Reporters
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters….
Sitting at my big ass 50′s era business desk, beige steel with faux wood top on which sits various office accoutrements, monitor, ink jet printer.
Directly in front, three 60′s era chairs(vinyl and cloth) backed against 70′s era wood paneling.
To my right, two drawer filing cabinet(beige steel) atop which rests an 80′s era dot matrix printer(for contracts and forms) and a 90′s era telephone with 100 buttons, 2 of which I actually use.
To the left a tall 3 drawer filing cabinet(beige steel) atop which sits a turn of this century fax machine. Beside the cabinet is the latest office edition, a state of the art Staples paper shredder, model SPL-TCX18A , capable of shredding 18 sheets of paper at one time, credit cards, CDs, certain house pets and small children.
Confession Friday?
When people make a statement about or accuse me of being crazy, little do they know I have paperwork that actually proves it.
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Surroundings-Four walls made of real gypsum board, so I got that going for me. To my right is the phone and adding machine, on the wall are pictures of my nieces and nephews a mule deer head and an antelope head. Behind me is the credenza/print table. On the left wall is there is a dry board and calender. My desk and credenza is completely covered with various papers and prints. Drives my OCD President nuts when he comes in my office but I amaze him when he asks me for something and I reach into a pile and pull out the document he is looking for.
Now for the downside, in front of me is a door that faces directly out to the Mens room door where all day I get to hear who had Mexican for lunch by the amount of noise coming from their bowels. Yes sir, no Jeff Kays around here, everybody likes to take a good poop on the company dime!
And I would have to agree with Uncle Wedgie about Hall & Oates, but I don’t like making fun of our friend so I was going to let it slide.
As for guilty confession, I didn’t do squat this week.
Jeff let me know how the book is, maybe you could a review in Suggestaholic, that would get t-storm off your ass as well.
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Uncle Buzz, (no @) sometimes Hall & Oats being gay is just Hall & Oats being gay
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I’m on the couch in my living room in st. louis…high ridge to be more exact. I have my baby girl sleeping in my left arm and my toddler boy asleep leaning against my right arm. My other son is playing a video game at the other end of the couch. Good times.
Confession: I like the silly love song, song, by Wings.
I too like hal and oates but feel a rage (like evil twins wife) toward aaron nevil and celine dion.
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I’m still in my cube. my boy’s framed school picture to my left, a bag of raw almonds and a bottle of room temp diet mt dew, also to my left, beside a stack of forms with data I have yet to enter.
confession: I spend waaay too much time reading the surf report and all the comments at work. They really should let me go.
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It’s hot today. The thermostat in the coolest part of the house reads 85 degrees, and I’m slowly feeling the need to get up, close all the windows and turn on the AC. My legs are sticking to the leather. From my seat at the kitchen table, I can see the dried grass on the hillside behind my house and the cows are out in full force today despite the heat.
On the counter to my left is an old cordless phone that I offered up to someone on freecycle.org. The woman said she wanted it, but has yet to pick it up. I’m about to put it back in my junk closet and tell her that it’s too late now. I hate people who ask favors and don’t have a lick of common courtesy. And behind the phone is a stack of bills and statements that need to be filed away. Some I can’t bear to look at: 401(k) statement, pension plan, and the like. On top is my former employer’s proxy statement and card. The mood I’m in right now, I should scrawl a giant obscenity across it and send it in. Yeah, that’s my shareholder vote.
Just behind my laptop screen is an unopened box delivered by UPS yesterday. I think it’s probably the hair color I ordered. I was planning to go back to my natural color and screw the gray hair I see peeking through at the roots, but I can’t deal with it this week. Maybe the next time I run out of product, I’ll feel different.
I can hear a plane flying overhead, probably one from the air force base a few miles away judging by the sound. Because the planes are mostly used for cargo transport, they’re fat and heavy. They sometimes fly so low and slow on the approach that I think they’ll fall out of the sky any minute.
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We went to see Hall & Oates at the Omni sometime in the mid-to-late 80s. Actually drove 90 miles to Atlanta. To see Hall & Oates.
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Sometimes I feel like a cargo plane…
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Hey, NDfaninAZ – me, too.
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First off, sorry JK, but Hall and Oates? Definitely gay.
I am in my office, my own personal hell. I have a wrap around desk (totally different that a reach around, of course). Since I am facing the computer we will call that front. Obviously my computer, printer, phone, etc . Also pictures of the nephews/niece, Wally, and us with my ‘rents.
To the left, my office door. The ticket to freedom. The drop box for rent, a shredder, and the maintenance work order box.
Behind me is a file cabinet, shelves full of shit, all the packages I have signed for for ungrateful bastards that refuse to come get them out of my office, and the out going mail box.
To my right is the blessed wall that separates my office from Mr. Burns’, or Satan, as I also like to call her. The degrees that my father spent so much money on that I have never used are hanging there as well.
My confession: I have anger management issues. But most of you could probably guess that by this tirade!
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I’m sitting at my desk at home. On the wall in front of me hangs a print of “The Cotton Exchange at New Orleans” by Degas. I’ve always loved that painting. You can see it at the link below, mid-page.
http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/paintings-by-hilaire-germain-edgar-degas4.htm
I’m sitting in a green wingback chair. The walls are a light tan, except for one covered by wooden bookshelves. The two windows have black drapes on them. There’s a remote controled submarine on my desk, a Dwight Schrute bobblehead doll, a small lava lamp with blue lava, and several other things of little interest.
To my right is a mini fridge, black in color, full of beers. I think I’ll have another, Sir.
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I have no idea where I am.
Confession: I tried the date rape drug for the first time earlier. Let me tell you, those things aren’t worth a shit. I was nodding off about half an hour after taking it. I don’t get it. No way I’ll get much raping done in this condition.
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I have no idea where I am.
Confession: I tried the date rape drug for the first time earlier. Let me tell you, those things aren’t worth a shit. I was nodding off about half an hour after taking it. I don’t get it. No way I’ll get much raping done in this condition.
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Nice one, T Fart. I hope you stole it, because I am….
Guess what Crystal Beth was arrested for?
http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/crystal-19979-meth-arrested.html
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Has someone posted this already?
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
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“You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote we’re not watching this bullshit.”
I’m rolling…..
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Surroundings…
Left to right in front of me at my desk in my home ‘office’. Phone, small desk lamp, small Sony speaker, monitor, small Sony speaker (did I say kick ass), mug-o-pens, penciles, markers…a pair of sissors and a small ruler too. My old boat compass and an air horn, finish off my desk top. And a beer is now front and center.
Earlier surroundings…digging under a dash to get at a fuse block, test light in hand checking every circuit breaker and fuse in an ’84 Winnebago that won’t start. Test this, test that. Jump it here, arc it there before heading of to the parts store to throw money at a maybe. Dead at the key and nada electric at the dash. No lights either. And two full up battries in my favor.Then flat on my back underneath the thing with a flashlight in my mouth, to keep both hands free, checking for loose or varmit fouled wires. BING-FUCKING-O. Solenoid wire at the starter was loose just enough. I now get to hit the lake in three weeks for five days of fucking off. Oh…and Harriette (dog) chased her first Elk of the season during all that. Man they’re fast and she really has no need to catch one. Everything worked out.
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Trisha aka Mrs. Wally,
Do you work in property management?
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I gave you my office and now for my bunker. Starting left to right. My computer desk faces an outside window. To left of the desk is dresser with a phone/radio combo. My Virginia Tech hats (3) and four bottles of scotch ranging from 12 to 30 years. Left on desk is a cordless phone, monitor and two speakers and the desk is cluttered with all sorts of stuff. On the right of the desk is a lamp and on the base of that lamp sits my guitar picks and the wedding bands from my last failed marriage (long story, not going there), a can of air to clean my keyboard (I type a lot), blank CDs and DVDs. On the floor to the left are my three computers, two Windows XP and one Unbutu. The second Windows computer is the midi controller for my Yamaha DX7IIS. To the right of that is my Line 6 30 watt practice amp, assorted guitar pedals, USB turntable, printer, and my Ibanez AS73, Martin D6, and Gibson Les Paul. In a closet behind me is my Spare practice amp, second Les Paul and a vintage Gibson L5. Now you see where all my money goes. I also a have a 29 in flat screen TV, a black light, a fan, and a wall full of various books from ceiling to mid-wall. ranging from self help to womens health (How do you think I know so much about women?), I study them. Its my sociology experiment and probably gonna end up my Doctorial Thesis. Heads will spin on that one. So that’s the tour of my space. Bah Bye!
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Garrett -
I love @shitmydadsays!
This one’s good too:
http://twitter.com/FatherKelly
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My confession is that Twitter is gay.
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awkward family photos .com
kinda funny
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@Shiney Rod…I used to look forward to reading your rantings, but Va Tech? PLEASE!!!
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Hello All. My first post. I read everyday and while I love the Report, the comments really are the icing on the cake.
So I’m sitting curled up on the couch in my living room, to my left is my lazyboy cat hair collector with one cat adding to the collection. Directly in front of me is a huge armoire with various textbooks crammed on either side of the tv, which is slowly dying pixel by pixel. The inside of the cabinet doors are plastered with post-it notes containing various lab values that I have been memorizing over the years. Let me know if you ever need to know the normal range for hemoglobin or calcium. Other than that the room is neat and tidy which relaxes me to no end.
My confession: I just broke up with a guy by telling him that since I just graduated and I was looking for the best job opportunities, none of which are where he lives, we just needed to go our separate ways because the timing was bad. “We both have things in our life we need to get on track before we can be in a relationship.” The real reason I broke up with him: His horrible Minnesota accent (“dat der ah chicken was ah reel good”) “, the stupid name he had for his dick that would make my jaw clench tighter than a virgin about to get her ass cherry popped, his retarded “evil” laugh every time he made some kinky remark about taking a paddle to my ass, and the 10 minute lecture about the magnificent qualities of Dads root beer. Wish I could take his skills in bed with me and morph them into the next guy though.
TMI for the first post? Oh well. That confession really opened up the flood gates so you won’t be able to shut me up now.
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RNK,
What a wonderful start. He was obviously an ass, going on and on about Dad’s Root Beer. Jesus Christ.
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RNK enquiring minds need to know! what was Mr.Pecker reffered to?
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reffered as? (just drank half a dozen creemore Spring) and another question do you drink the root Beer before the ass Paddling or after! Personally I think you were lucky to get out alive! Welcome to the WSVR;)
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WVBumblebee – ihave a family investment who plays football for VT but tore his ACL a couple weeks ago and he is going to be out for the rest of the season.
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RNK – were all ears and not much else
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Jason, I guess you had to be there. The root beer dissertation was the high light of the evenings conversation….in other words….simply no spark.
The pet name was Irving, or in Minnesotaease Errrving. It wasn’t just an occasional thing either, it was ALL the time. It didn’t matter how down and dirty things were getting. Just think of any intimate instance in which cock can be used in a sentence and insert Errrving instead. It was supposed to be cute and funny but it just…wasn’t. I think he was truly surprised that I didn’t find it sexy.
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I’m sitting at my desk at home, situated in mountains of the lower Pierogie / Cuppa Two Tree Belt. Beneath me is my ergonomic Tush Cush wedge, which helps to support my back, but gives me hellish round ligament pain. Before me are a bag of reduced-fat Cheez-Its and a mostly empty bottle of G2 (or maybe I’m just pessimistic). One of my cats–the fat one–has just stopped by for a midnight snack. And for reasons I can’t explain, I’m wearing a fuzzy blue robe over my work clothes, which I’ve been too tired to change out of yet.
My confession? Much like yours, but substitute Duran Duran for Hall and Oates.
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RNK
well yer know der he was funny kinda guy
oh ah yea.. funny der how ya know?
well ya know der, kinda,funny der
oh yeah yeah funnyder like dat der
yep yep ya know like dat
your first missive here at the good ol’ Surf Report invoked all kind of hinky accents… I instantly thought of Fargo
so welcome der an dat an oh yeah. yeah..almost fergot….
Good Morning Surf Reporters
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Let’s see here, I guess I’m game after returning from a Brad Paisley concert, where Jimmy Wayne finished his set, ironically enough, with “Sarah Smile”, which will be his new single…originally released by none other than Hall and Oates…
Left to right, a window looking out over an abandoned little league baseball field, a pair of huge 80′s speakers holding up an assorted collection of hats on a stick, a dresser with the top covered in 6 different pairs of jeans, a bed with three pillows, a down comforter, and a stereo hooked to the headboard with duct tape and cotter pins. Two 12 gauge shotguns, a reloading bench, and my black lab/shepard mix, shadow, sleeping on a pile of my dirty laundry next to the window…and I’m sitting on the bed. Also, two stuffed fish are hanging from my ceiling, and the floor is a hideous red shag rug.
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RNK, call me
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Surroundings; Sitting by the window in my roommate’s basement/bedroom, enjoying the frigid midnight air in Oregon.
Confession; I hate my roommate’s sister so much [She threw a crowbar at me for telling her to stop screaming, seriously.] that I occasionally spray cleaning chemicals in her unattended drinks.
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At home, sitting at my computer desk, in my office/workroom/bunker facing a window overlooking the street… which I can barely see while seated since the monitors are in the way. Stacks of papers, books, and car parts (smaller) surround me. Theres the usual bit of electronics around to keep me entertained along with a partial collection of glass insulators lining the tops of the book cases. Theres also my stack of Beta tapes with all but two episodes of Adam-12. Yes, I’ve still got my Beta player, it holds up the vhs player which is to my right on the bookcase. Soldering equipment to my left. Measuring devices behind me. It is organized chaos and I like it.
My workbench at work is about the same. But since I actually get things done there I don’t get any grief over it. I’ve got about 300 square feet to myself there. Most of it is taken up with bulky items in for repair and in various states of deconstruction awaiting parts. A never ending cycle of materials in constant flux. My service van is clean inside and mostly neat and organized, its my prefered space becuase well, I get to drive around and check out the surroundings while getting paid.
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Irving is a lame penis name. No wonder you dumped him. My penis name is Willie Nelson or simply “Little Jason” (Mr. Little Jason, if you’re nasty). But I never scream it out during sex. I usually just scream out “Eureka!” or “Did you get that? Did you get that on camera?” or maybe “Root Beer!” if it’s really good.
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Shiney Rod…would that that be tailback Darren Evans? That’s going to be a big loss for them this season. Yes I am a BIG college football fan. Driving 10 hours fron New Orleans to Clemson for the season opener next week. Love my TIGERS!!!
Maki…next time put some eye drops in her drink, an old serers trick for nasty customers, gives them the runs!!!
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I saw Hall & Oates live just last year*. Apparently I must be gayer than a Tweet from Tom Cruise at an overnight truckstop. Better tell the wife.
*it wasn’t my choice.
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@tyrosine
Getting my ass kicked today. Sorry it took me so long to respond. I am in property management, but just the leasing. They couldn’t pay me enough for those headaches. You are too, right?
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Ok…I’ll admit to being Twitter curious.
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Look, tweeters aren’t bad people. What they do in their own bedrooms and park restroom stalls is none of our business.
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If you act on your curiosity you’ll be bitextual.
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I guess I could never bring myself to join the Twitter team and actually tweet someone. I mean…that’s a whole lifestlye change. Don’t get me wrong. I think it is everyone’s right to Twit and Tweet whomever they choose. That’s just a different side of life I’ll never know but always wonder about. I kinda think I’d like girl Twitters though.
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Being “bi” automatically doubles your chances on the dating scene.
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T. Farty…are we talking about the same thing here?
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I’ve discovered any twit worth reading will be posted via link here….Father Kelly and shit my dad says for example.
Jason – at least do your wife the favor of making her the envy of women everywhere by calling it Mr. Big Jason.
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DTO,
What? I’m drunk.
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Well, I’m glad to see we’ve elevated the conversation to penis names, as opposed to the usual discussion about bowel movements, movin’ on up!
This Hall and Oats thing, is this a test?
I wouldn’t say they were gay, ’cause most gay people don’t particularly irritate me, like, say, Hall and Oats do.
But, to each their own, plus you can have my share.
State pride… no similar thing seems to exist for my province of Ontario, the flag’s lame-o post colonial gibberish, and we have at least 2 dozen colleges and universities, and nobody gives a shit about school sports any how, ’cause in Ontario, just like the rest of Canada, there’s NHL Hockey, then everything else.
You’re either a Leafs fan, or you have a reason to live.
(Make it sevin, baby)
There is a national pride thing going up here I think, but it seems different than the American version,
Different national character perhaps, not better, just different.
Maybe Toney’s right, we just have an inferiority complex, but Trudeau used the anology of sleeping next to an elephant, and perhaps that explains some of it.
Right now, my surroundings are my kitchen table in my really nice home in Niagara, and, on the BAT in the next room, the Buffalo Jills are getting their collective asses kicked by the Steelers, 17-0, mid-season form all around.
The weather: it cost me $900 to get my AC running this year, so that’s $450 a day that we’ve used it. Sweet.
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Hey T. Farter…I’m not a Twitterphobe. And I just popped the cork on some cheap ($7.00) wine and I’ll be right with you in a bit.
I’ve got a 50/50 shot at the dating scene here. That translate’s into…date her your dead and date her your dead. It just depends on who kills you.
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T. FartY…yeah…I know , ” YOU’RE”….ok, I opened the wine sooner than I said….crap. I’m going outside and bark at what’s left of the moon, shoot skunks and harass raccoons.
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WVBumblebee – That would be the right tailback. He looks like me when I was that age only I am much lighter (skin color). A whole lot lighter. It’s going to be interesting season at VT without him.
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When people pop their gum, I want to punch them in the back of the head and then scream “NO!” at them.
Especially in class.
During a final.
DIE .
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Jeff,
You about klled me when you shared the joys of the Granny Panties flapping in the ass like Sails on an old style sailing ship.
You think umbrellas are poofttastiic, but love Hall and Oates? Just admit it. You have a fanny pack, in which you store your album by “Church.” I think I bought their first nationally released album, “Under the Milky Way,” or some such.
Reds won 5 a row LAD crushed them 11-5
Greg in Cincinnati
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Shiney Rod…..I hate to hear he’s hurt, but not really upset he’s not playing. I’m ready fr next Saturday. We are missing James Davis and have a new coach for a ful season, but we do have a heisman canidate. We’ll just have to see……
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Liking Hall and Oates is not GAY!! But, if your listening to them while twittering your a flaming Pole smoker.
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Jeff…are you watching the Little League World series right now? As a fellow baseball geek, I hope you are. What an incrdeable game. Find the replay somewhere. Makes me remember how intense I was as a kid playing ball and dreaming of the big leagues. I was a down in the dirt and fuck you if you think you’re stealing on me, catcher.
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DTO,,,,
Me too!
If memory serves..the shin guards, chest protector and the mask were the “Tools of Ignorance”.
and you are so right, something about shelled into all that gear gave one a “C’mon Fucker, Try Me” attitude.
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WVBumblebee – You and several other teams are happy he won’t be on the field this year. He said he was pushing himself harder this year. If he had not torn the ACL he was going to be unstoppable.
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I just returned from a weekend away and finally figured out my confession. (DTO, thanks for the idea and for redeeming yourself!)
A few years ago, I broke up with a boyfriend for a number of reasons, the most trivial of which was his inability to distinguish the difference between “your” and “you’re”. He constantly used “your” when he should have been using “you’re”. I can deal with the occasional typo, but Boyfriend NEVER got it right. I recall trying to gently explain that there was a difference when Boyfriend and I were helping my nephew with a term paper, but Boyfriend was either too stupid to clue in or too arrogant to change, or maybe he was a little of both. (He was a law student.) A few days after the grammar discussion with my nephew, I received a love note in which Boyfriend misused “your” a number of times. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but if ever he should have made the effort to get it right, it was in that Valentine’s Day note to me. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. So trivial, yet oh-so-annoying.
your = possessive adjective (my, his, her, their, our)
you’re = contraction of “you are”, as in “You’re thinking I’m a bitch, right? That’s OK. I’m comfortable with that label.”
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Shiney Rod…..bu twe stil have Lightening….CJ Spiller!! God I can’t waite till Saturday. we really veered from the the topic Friday! Oh well, Jeff will get over it. If not I can come up with some stories about him growing upiand stuff we got into in high school!!
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i pre-ordered the machine a few weeks ago. currently sitting at tapwerks in oklahoma city enjoying a sam adam’s octoberfest.
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Speaking of Hall and Oates, Patterson Hood of the Drive By Truckers wrote this oh so many years ago but it’s stuck with me. Enjoy.
http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/dbts/message/6333
Allright Y’all,
I been off this week, monitoring this list, and hearing all this GD talk
about 80′s hair bands and endless debates about the prosandcons of the likes
of Winger and Billy Squier (who I saw 4 times as a teenager, but never
liked).
Not one person has spoken up about the finest 80′s bad hair and aural
confection of all:
Hall and Oates.
Thats right, Darryl Hall and John Oates.
(I never like to speak for Cooley, but I am 100% confident he will back me
up here).
Hall and Oates grew up in Philly steeped in the streetcorner doowop
tradition (as did my hero Todd Rundgren). Rundgren produced their 2nd (or
was it 3rd) album. Robert Fripp (King Crimson)produced Darryl Hall’s very
hard to find 1st solo record.
Even devout H&O haters have to usually admit that Sara Smile is one of the
finest examples of blueeyedsoul ever cut to vinyl.
But it goes on and on from there.
She’s Gone (later covered by Tavares), Rich Girl, Maneater, Family Man, Kiss
on my List, I can’t Go For That (no can do), Private Eyes, their cover of
You’ve Lost That lovin’ Feeling, Adult Education……
one and one….
They had a killer live backing band, and could nail that shit in concert
without resorting to gimmicks and samples (try that with those
pussyassboybandstoday). T-Bone Wolk and GE Smith.
And they wrote most of their own stuff and the level of their songwriting
was A1 topnotch.
bet you can find a real cheap copy of their greatest hits (or hell, there’s
usually 4-6 hits per album and very little filler on their regular releases)
and I guaratee you’ll be converted.
Accept no immitations.
Rock Steady (Y’all),
Patterson
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It has nothing to do, but you should check out http://www.peopleofwalmart.com. It reminds of so much of the Wal Mart Game you’ve posted. Great stuff! Keep it up!
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Oops, sorry about that. It’s actually beta.peopleofwalmart.com
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The Sparky Anderson story is absolutely true. I have done the Red’s Fantasy Camp a few times and former players of the Big Red Machine have confirmed this. Sparky had his “stars” (Morgan, Rose, Bench & Perez) and the rest of the players were known as turds!
No need to feel guilt over Hall & Oates. Great R&B/Pop duo. I do profess a preference for their 1970′s output, buy it’s all good.
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I guess he was Brynhildr’s boyfriend of yore.
*rimshot*
Yeah I’ll go now.
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Hey Jeff,
seeing as how you prefer cold to warm and grey to blue, perhaps you’d like to take the ‘are you a Calvinist?’ quiz.
Here’s a link
http://www.penguin.co.uk/static/cs/uk/0/articles/weebookofcalvin/
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At work, view consists of two plants, one of which is so big and is over my desk, looks like a rainforest. Two computer monitors, around which can be found a Red Sox schedule and flying pictures, dried fruit and M&M’s to snack on. And many papers covering the desk. Radio on the side with Bob & Tom.
Confession: I love seeing REAL women REALLY naked. Any size, shape or form, tease me a bit if you want but put it out there and I’m a happy guy. If I get fired it will be for browsing naughty pics on FLICKR.
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Saw this today: http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays/status/3693522864
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