Last night at work someone shouted in exasperation, “Yeah, and they can all go pound sand!” That saying always makes me laugh, especially when it’s coming out of a contorted-by-anger pastyface. But I don’t know what it means. Pound sand? What the crap?
Do you have any idea? And what other oft-used phrases fall into the same category? “As all get out” is one that jumps immediately to mind. What the?
J.D. Salinger died today, or yesterday or something. Here’s a nice obit. I was a fan of both his writing and his mysterious persona. He became a recluse during the 1960s, and hasn’t granted an interview, or published anything new in over forty years.
And from all accounts… he was also a blue-ribbon curmudgeon. Which is something I can certainly appreciate.
A few years ago I sent him a request for an autograph, and my envelope was returned unopened. Here it is. And Mark Maynard and I toyed with the idea of filming a documentary, in which we traveled to the town where Salinger lived (Cornish, NH) and attempted to agitate him to the point of… something interesting happening.
But all that’s out the window now. Hopefully, however, he spent the past four decades writing, and will allow his “new” books to start being published upon his death. I read somewhere that he had a full-on bank vault installed inside his house, in which he stored his unpublished manuscripts. That might very well be boolshit, but I’d like to believe it’s true.
A few days ago I was talking to a guy who said he’d recently undergone surgery for testicular cancer. And now I’m convinced I have it, too.
Do you ever do that? I’m a master at it. If he’d told me a story about contracting the flesh-eating virus, I’d be convinced — right now — that my back and shoulders were starting to rot away.
It’s the power of suggestion, I guess. Mix that with my powerful paranoia… and things can quickly get out of hand. If you’ll excuse my use of the word “hand” in a conversation about balls.
The guy told me he was in surgery by noon, they extracted “the left one,” and he was in a car riding home by 2 pm. Can that possibly be true? Sounds kinda questionable to me.
In any case…
Last weekend I posted a whole mess o’ new Smoking Fish photos, and forgot to link to them. So, here they are. Thanks, folks! Keep ’em coming. The gallery now extends to 62 big pages, and we’re just getting started.
Toney informed me I’ll be giving Andy (Black Lips Houlihan, Snoopy Manny Mann, Mr. McDingles) a bath this weekend. On account of the stench.
And man, I hate giving that hound a bath. It’s a huge production, because of his many neuroses, and I always end up soaked and mopping up ten gallons of water from the bathroom floor.
I tried to convince Toney that Andy’s high-funk is like the Fountain of Youth, and breathing it in will ensure eternal life. But she’s not buying it, for some reason.
Then I told the younger Secret it was time for him to step to the plate. He answered, “But I don’t know how.” And I said, “What do you mean, you don’t know how? You just put shampoo on his back, and start rubbing.”
But it’ll be yours truly, despite my best efforts. It’s one of those jobs that has somehow been assigned to me forever. I’m not sure how that happens, but there’s no use fighting it.
Rule of Thumb: All people who drive faster and slower are idiots.
Rule of Thumb: You can tell when things are really getting out of hand, when the midgets show up.
Today Amazon deposited $10.88 into my checking account, for my share of the past seven months-worth of Surf Report Kindle subscriptions. Hell yeah! I’m buying!! Drinks all around!
But seriously folks, I’m kinda surprised anyone subscribes to TheWVSR via Kindle. I never hear anything about it, good or bad, and just assumed there was no activity.
So, if you get the updates delivered to your Kindle, please tell me about it. How does it look? Is it pretty good? Do the links work, and everything? I’m completely in the dark here.
And since we’re on the subject… Why would anyone want to buy the new Apple iPad? A person would look like an absolute idiot making a call on that big thing. Ya know?
I’m planning to take Friday off, to get caught up on some other stuff, so that’s probably what will happen. Although, you never can tell. I make plans, and they go swirling down the catcher all the time.
So, I’ll just say… see ya next time.
Have a great day, my friends!