The West Virginia Surf Report!

  • Home
  • About
  • Best of
  • Books
  • Archives
  • Donate

Your End of Week Topic Dump, vol. 177

October 14, 2010 By Jeff

I had to be at work early yesterday, for so-called leadership training, and also overslept — big time.  The alarm was set for 9:30, and I got up at 12:30.  I barely had enough time to guzzle a little coffee, take a shower, and shovel a Mary Chapin-Carpenter frozen meal down my gullet.

In fact, I burned the shit out of my tongue, trying to ingest sweet and sour chicken within a tightly-compacted amount of time.  It still hurts today, as burnt tongues are wont to do.

When I arrived at work, with seconds to spare, I ran straight upstairs to the meeting room without checking in with anyone in my department first.  And it was later reported, via my vast network of liars and backstabbers, that my boss was walking around grumbling about how I’d blown off the meeting.  Hey man, I was right on time!

And that’s why there was no update yesterday.  Pass the beer nuts.

All this oversleeping is starting to become an issue.  I’m working fifty hours a week, and driving another six or seven hours, and it’s taking its toll.  Yeah, and I’m starting to go all Nostrildamus up here…  Perhaps I need to lie down for a nap with a hot water bottle on my vagina?  Sheesh.

I recently saw a local TV weatherman buying fancy-pants microbrew at a grocery store in our neighborhood.  Well, it wasn’t all THAT fancy-pants, it was Sam Adams Octoberfest, but still.

And the guy was tiny.  He looks to be average-sized on television, but is actually the approximate height and weight of a sixth grader.  I couldn’t believe it.  He was a pocket meteorologist.  It felt like he could predict the weather from the palm of my hand.

Have you ever met someone famous (or semi-famous), and was surprised by their appearance in some way?  One of my all-time heroes — Paul Westerberg — is pretty small, too.  He often looks ferocious and tall onstage, but is actually kind of… abbreviated in real life.  Doesn’t matter to me, though.  He’s still a freakin’ genius.

And even after the Alzheimer’s has taken what’s left of my beleaguered brain, I’ll never be able to forget the wrists on Mickey Mantle.  Amazing!  They were the size of 1970s-era Hi-C cans.  It was one of the craziest things I’ve ever witnessed with my own eyes.  Holy shit-crumbs.

What about you?  You got anything on this subject?  If so, tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?

I downloaded the new Belle & Sebastian album from eMusic this morning.  I haven’t listened to it yet, but I’m a big fan of those fey, limp-wristed Scots, ’cause they make perfect pop music.  And I’m a big-time sucker for the perfect pop music, I really am.

But eMusic is worrying me.  They announced a new pricing scheme that’s concerning.  They’ve hooked-up with yet another major label (they were originally independent labels only), and will be changing the way they do business, starting next month.

The reaction has been predictably negative, as you can see at their Facebook page.  But I’m willing to give ’em the benefit of the doubt.  I’ve enjoyed eMusic so far, and can’t really believe they’d just suddenly bend me over the proverbial couch.  So, I’m going to see how it goes, before getting all indignant about it.

And I have no problem with major labels.  I mean, seriously.  A lot of GREAT music was released through the majors, and the more albums to choose from, the better.  In my opinion, anyway.

I’m currently paying $14.99 per month, and get (basically) three full-length albums for that price.  We’ll see what happens in November and December, and make an evaluation.  If I can only squeeze out two albums, it’ll be to the point where it’s basically the same price as Amazon.  The new Belle & Sebastian is $7.99 there, so eMusic would no longer be such a great deal.

Oh well.  Hopefully it won’t be as bad as the jump-to-conclusions assholes believe.  We’ll see.

Does anybody know why skin prunes-up in water?  I mean, the science of it?  What causes that?  It’s very important that I know, but I’d prefer it if you guys just told me, so I could avoid doing any of that pesky research.  I appreciate your cooperation on this skin-pruning matter.

And finally, while I was sitting in my training meeting yesterday (the Fish Philosophy), I got a popcorn husk caught in my throat.  They had fresh-popped “corn” and Cokes for everyone, and there was a husk adhered to the wall of my downspout, fluttering with every breath.

I nearly panicked and caused a scene, but was able to maintain my composure.  I calmly chugged some Co’ Cola, and the popcorn eventually dislodged.  And I wasn’t left screaming and gasping in front of a roomful of “colleagues.”  Thankfully.

What’s the most memorable thing you’ve witnessed during a meeting at work?

I’ve written about this before, but I was in the ops manager’s office at my previous job, and we were dialed-in to a national conference call.  Some guy was talking, and another person — who obviously thought his phone was muted — said something along the lines of, “Oh my god, this guy is a fucking moron!”  It went out, clear as a bell, to everyone on the line.  Heh.

So, if you have anything about work meeting mishaps, please tell us about it.

And I’m going to stop right here, my friends.  I need a nice cup of herbal tea, and a good cry.  I’ll see you next time.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker
Evil Twin t-shirts now only $13!

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedinShare on Pinterest

Filed Under: Daily

Comments

  1. madz1962 says

    October 15, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    Oh… and a long day at work? Yesterday, I got up at 3:00 AM to meet a colleague at 5:15 to drive into NYC for a meeting we had to prep for. Got there at 6:30. Stood for hours on end. FInally ended at 5:00 PM with clean up. The guy who drove us decided to meet his wife so I had to hoof it to Grand Central in the pouring rain where I STOOD on a train for an hour. Got to my car at 7:00 PM.

    That’s a long ass day.

  2. hot fuzz says

    October 15, 2010 at 7:26 pm

    Madz my day was close but not as bad…you win.

    Up at 3 to get to the airport to catch a 6:30 flight to spend the day in a board room doing employee reviews,,, got home at 8 that night and worked until midnight on email….

    yay fun

  3. chill says

    October 15, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    The only “famous” person I’ve met was Jean Shepherd. It was a book signing, so he was sitting down, so I couldn’t say how tall he was or wasn’t. At least he called me “kid” to my face – a brush with greatness for me.
    .

  4. Brittney says

    October 16, 2010 at 12:42 am

    I forgot I also met Milt Pappas (Cubs’ player who threw a ‘no-hitter’ against San Diego in 1972) which I think I’ve mentioned on here before. I used to work for a law firm and my boss was good friends with him. He had me run to his house one day to get the ‘no hitter’ ball when Zambrano handed it over to Milt back in 2008 because for whatever reason Milt decided he wanted to give it to my boss…He was the nicest guy ever, but I don’t think he was playing with a full deck so-to-speak. It was a cool experience though. I got to meet his dogs, and his 2 cats, and his wife. He showed me some pictures of his sons and what not. He was a nice guy.

  5. dto says

    October 16, 2010 at 5:09 am

    I just realized that the words, ‘good’ and ‘morning’, have no business being used together.

    • dto says

      October 16, 2010 at 6:15 am

      Where as, “Go fuck yourself”, has a nice poetic cadence to it. Here watch….

      “Good morning”
      “Go fuck yourself!”…See what I mean

  6. WB in OH says

    October 16, 2010 at 7:50 am

    Stevie Waltrip must be about 4’6″ tall. Years ago a buddy of mine snuck me into the pits at Atlanta Motor Speedway on a Saturday before raceday. I was all bugged eyed staring around at the different drivers when all of a sudden I ran into someone. I looked down and there stood Darrell’s wife. I was so embarrassed I nearly knocked this “poor” woman to the ground.

  7. johnthebasket says

    October 16, 2010 at 9:05 am

    Dammit, does being 70 automatically make you look like you have cancer? Is there any noticeable difference between a 70-year-old with and without cancer?

    It’s still there, in her eyes. The ballsy little singer and recorder player who belted out…

    We are forces of chaos and anarchy
    Everything they say we are we are
    And we are very
    Proud of ourselves

    Up against the wall
    Up against the wall motherfucker
    Tear down the walls
    Tear down the walls

    .
    We all send our love from the ’60s.

    I would be commenting this week, but my cable “modem” is freaking out. I suspect it’s sending and receiving like 10,000 bad packets for every good one that gets through. What am I, back on dialup at 2400bps? On a bad line? During a thunder storm? While running the vacuum cleaner next to the wire?

    I’ll be back when the world is fast again, although I’ll still likely be slow.

    my best regards…

    jtb

« Older Comments

Support Jeff And His Projects

Latest Tweets

  • Which Breakfast Club Type Were You In High School? Also, What Would The 17 Year Old You Think About The 2019 You?… twitter.com/i/web/status/10964…

    February 15, 2019 1:42 pm

  • A Few Quick Things, vol. 66 dlvr.it/QygvC8 pic.twitter.com/9reBpB3JRK

    February 11, 2019 4:20 pm

  • I'll be there in Philly! Looking forward to it. twitter.com/themonoset/status/…

    February 11, 2019 12:37 pm

  • Fresh podcast action! pic.twitter.com/GMvkWMCNz1

    February 11, 2019 12:36 pm

  • What Do You Think About When You Think About Arkansas? dlvr.it/QyTfSr pic.twitter.com/h72cJ3gqRM

    February 8, 2019 1:04 pm

Facebook!

Get Social!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Search The Surf Report

Copyright © 2019 · Smoking Fish Media